about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I'm going into 8th grade and super scared that I will get bad grades or something. Should I be worried?

Are you a good student? Did you get good grades last year? There is no reason to think that just because you are going from middle school to High School that anything will change. If you were a good student last year you will be a good student this year.

Don't let the name change scare you. Going from middle school to high school will be no different than it was going from elementary school to middle school. The school will be bigger than your middle school was as 2 or more middle school are funneled intone high school. Your middle school was bigger than your elementary school was.

These little changes should in no way scare you. The work is the same. These teachers are going to build on the information you have already learned. It is taking you to the next level of that information. Next year the same thing. Last year your teacher built on what you learned the year before. Nothing changes.

Don't ever fear the unknown. Instead look at the unknown as a challenge yet to be conquered and you are the conqueror. You have done well in the past you will do well in the future. I can tell this for sure just from how you have written to us. Please trust me on this and look forward to opening day with a smile on your face.

Have fun this year.

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So I had been a Wiccan for months, and my dad had the bad idea of it. That every Wiccan was a witch. That witches are evil. That the Horned God is associated with Satan because he has horns/antlers. I have never felt comfortable in Christianity, but felt comfortable in Wicca, like I was 100% safe and nothing would ever hurt me. I'll be turning 18 in a few months. Should I just light candles in my room, try to tell the Horned God that I'm sorry and that I'll move in with my friend when I turn 18 and become a Wiccan again?

When you turn 18 you can pretty much do as you please with some exception if you are still living at home.

As parents we all have a rule even though legally by age you may be an adult, if you live under my roof you still must live by my rules. IF you are living under my roof it probably means you are unable to support yourself. While the law supports your right to be an adult and do as you please, the law also supports my right that once you turn 18 I no longer am legally responsible for you in an way shape or form. I do not have to pay for college, buy clothes, provide you with a car or anything else I may be providing. You are an adult now and by law should be providing this for yourself. You see my point.

Now once you leave Hearth and Home you are free to do as you please. While living at home lighting candles in your room may be against your fathers wishes, even after you turn 18. If he says don't light candles in my home then you should not fight him on this. In the same vain he can not force you to go to church. This all happens at the stroke of midnight on the day you were born.

Until then the law is on his side. If he tells you to get up, get out of bed and get dressed we are all going to church. You have little choice in the eyes of the law you are still a minor right up to 11:59:59pm the day before your birthday legally speaking and you have no choice.

There is nothing wrong with being a Wiccan. I have several friends that are Wiccans and follow the religion closely. They are nice people and great members of the community. I would suggest if you want to light candles you try and do so at your friends house rather than risk angering your father.

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I had sex with someone I've been seeing. For the first time, I had anal sex. I was not expecting that to happen. If I knew it was coming, I would have done an enema ahead of time. He still treated me well and acted as if everything was fine afterward. But now, he's not talking to me as much. I know that if you do anal, it's going to smell like poop. Now I'm just hoping he didn't try smelling his hand or whatever.

So, do guys get turned off if their penis smells like bad after having anal sex? Or are would they be satisfied that they even had sex, etc?

First off A guy really can't smell his penis unless there is a really bad odor coming from it.

If the anal sex is unplanned and something that just happened, which happens when the petting gets hot and heavy and you get to that point and she says I'm on my period. Then she say you can have bloody sex or my back door. This is one of those times when its unplanned.

Condoms should always be used during anal sex as the anus is full of bacteria that is not good for the penis to be exposed. A condom not only prevents this bacteria from infecting his penis it also prevents transfer of most STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus which is still largely attributed to anal sex.

If you enjoy spontaneous sex you should be carrying condoms in your purse for the reasons stated above. Even if you are on birth control until you are in a long term committed relationship and both tested you should make your partner use a condom. Remember every time you have unprotected sex you are having sex with every other partner that had unprotected sex with him or her.

Now as to your original question which is the reason I went through the above first. Had a condom be used there would be no smell left behind on his penis. Any smells or skid marks would be on the condom which he could just roll off. As for his finger it really does not get far enough up the anus to pick up anything so a bad smell probably is not there.

Do guys get turned off. Not by smells. If a guy gets turned off it is generally a realization of something that has been ingrained in him since his parents first had that birds and bee's story with him. What he has probably been told about anal sex and girls that allow boys to do such things dates back to Victorian England. Back then only prostitutes and slovenly girls allowed men to have anal sex with them. In fact the word slut originates around this time as well.

If this was his first time having anal sex then it may be he is fighting with himself. Just about every guy he knows talks about getting anal sex. Now he has had anal sex, it was unplanned and his feelings are in a twist.

Most guy know what they are getting into, no pun intended, and they don't care. They want to brag to their friends that so and so let them do her in the ass. Any offensive smell is out weighed by the bragging rights.

It is my feelings your friend is having an attack of conscious.

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I'm a 15 year old girl and I was dating this guy when I lived in Pennsylvania, he was my world. He's pansexual by the way. Then we broke up because I moved to New Jersey, so now we're just close friends. I still like him a lot, but now he has a boyfriend. He was my first love so I'm feeling literal physical pain. And to top it all off I have no friends, so the internet is where I'm venting all of this. How do I get over him having a boyfriend????

How do you get over the loss of anything. It takes time. Time heals all wounds.

Your boyfriend being pansexual means he identifies with all genders or sexual orientations. It does not mean he is gay or bisexual.

It does not mean he still does not have feelings for you. While you are both too young to be having sex his feelings toward you could include sexual feelings. His being 15 also means he may not have truly formed his sexual identity. He is not gay as people who are gay are born that way and it would be something he would have known long before the start of puberty.

He could be forming bisexual sexual interest or he may just be exploring all forms a=of sexuality. If he were to write me questing himself on this, which we get many letters on this type of subject, I would write back to him in just such a manor and it is possible that one of us has.

Puberty is a time to explore many things including your sexuality. It is not a time to put a label on yourself including your sexuality. You should give yourself the time from when puberty starts to at least when you finish high school to explore all facets of what adulthood will be like for this is the time of exploration. This includes the proper and safe exploration of your sexuality. Yes my children were told just what I'm telling you. My wife and I are quite liberal in this area.

My advice is if you have feelings for this boy or just want to remain friends with him. Then continue to communicate with him and you can even have discussions about sexuality with him. Yours and his it is not off limits for two close friends to discuss even if they are of opposite sexes.

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I'm a 14 almost 15 year old girl and I feel like I masturbate way to often. I masturbate about once a day but sometimes I do it 2-3 times a day depending on how I'm feeling. It doesn't get in the way of my schedule or anything because I do it in my bed at night. Is this to often? I feel like no one else masturbates, so that just makes me feel worse.

Relax your normal. Masturbating 2 to 3 times a day is normal for most teenagers, male or female. Masturbation is something most of us do not talk about among friends especially girls.

Boys on the other hand are a bit more open about it generally in a somewhat derogatory manner. An example would be talking about a sexy teacher a guy might say something like, "Man Miss X was dressed so sexy I had to go to the bathroom and beat off, or I went home and choked the chicken x times. This would be something said with other boys. They could also be talking about a female student, her again it strictly between 2 or 3 close guy friends.

Statistically speaking 85% of us, according to a recent survey, masturbate. This means in a house choke of 4 3.5 people masturbate. This would include parents who usually do so as part of foreplay to intercourse which would be mutual masturbation. This would include fingering, hand jobs, and oral sex.

As I said to begin with you are normal so relax.

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I'm 29years oid, my boyfriend just disvirgin me somedays ago and the pains is much and my breast is bigger than each other? Pls help

Losing your virginity should not be cause for one breast to be bigger than the other. It is normal for one breast to be slightly different in size that the other. Is it possible that you just noticed the difference? If one breast is really different in size and shape this is a form of birth defect that can be corrected through surgery.

If this is what your seeing you should first contact your GYN for consultation. Once you are cleared by your GYN then find a Board Certified Plastic Surgeon for Breast Enhancement Surgery. Your GYN should be able to recommend one.

If both your GYN and the Plastic Surgeon agree this is a form of birth deformity your health insurance should pay for the surgery. Generally speaking Breast enhancement surgery is considered elective and not covered by Insurance. This is not elective in that it is corrective.

As to the pain you feel from losing your virginity. This should pass after a few days. You will probably feel more pain the next time you have intercourse and again the time after that. Each time the pain should diminish as your vagina muscles get us to being stretched.


You might also try Kegel Muscle exercises which some women say Increases pleasure for sexual activity by strengthening the pelvic floor muscles. You can use a search engine to search for Kegel muscle exercises for women.

The more sexual intercourse you have the quicker the pain afterwards should resolve. If it doesn't then you need to see your GYN for something else could be a problem. Given how long you waited to give someone your virginity I would think the pain you are feeling is probably normal.

There is nothing wrong with waiting. I just hope your boyfriend appreciates the gift you have given him.

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So lately I have gone to sleep and been waking up with my whole body vibrating and I can't move or talk at all until I build up the strength to move a little and I read about it obviously cause I was freaked out and I was in sleep paralysis and I brushed it off and recently it happened again and I couldn't breathe and I was getting really scared and which made it even harder to breathe so my question is what's exactly is sleep paralysis and how do I get rid of it

I found a very good article on sleep paralysis From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. I will include the URL for it at the bottom.

First I have to say that none of us are doctors and that sleep paralysis is a sleep disorder that requires a proper diagnoses especially when having repeated attacks. From what I was able to briefly scan sleep paralysis as you described is likely to happen to any or all of us at one time or another and is usually an isolated event. I have had a similar attacks; twice that I can remember. Both were after very trying days.

If you are having repeated attacks close together then from what I was able to read this falls into a classification of a sleep disorder. As you will see in reading the article that is attached there are medications and treatments that can limit these attacks.

These attacks can very well be stress related. The school year is starting and maybe you changing schools going from middle school to high school. Maybe you signed up for challenge classes and don't know what to expect. Maybe this is your last year of High school I don't know you so I can't say. What I can say is that these times and these challenges can be very stressful on today's teenager and this is how the body deals with the stress.

What I suggest is that you see a doctor and tell the doctor what is going on. Since school is starting if you haven't had a physical yet for this year now is a good time to have one. The bodies way of dealing with what might be just too much stress is not good. The doctor can help and not all of the medications I saw that the use are tranquilizers. Some are hormone replacements to replace missing hormones that puberty has yet to supply which would help with stress.

My suggestion is see your doctor. This may not be a big problem but it is big enough to cause you more stress and therefore a reason to see your doctor.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_Paralysis

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Subjects of special study or research work

Is there a question here?

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So recently me and my mom were talking, and the subject of me not being honest to her came up. now my mom is very big about lying and hates it and i know that so i dont lie to her very often. she think that im lying to her about something but i have no idea what. i kept asking her what i did wrong and she kept telling me to go to bed ( since it was like 11 o'clock) and talk to her once i tell her the truth but i have no idea what i did wrong. i also feel like shes just trying to get me to confess about a lie. whats a tip so that i can get out of this mess?

Pardon me if I'm MR. Obvious here; it seems to me if you know you have lied to her about something(s). The quickest and easiest way to deal with this problem would be to fess up to what you know you have lied her about. Accept any punishment she gives you for what you may have done and lied about without and argument. Then hug and kiss your mom and tell her you love her.

If mom still thinks you’re not being totally truth full with her then you have a problem if she will not tell you what it is she thinks you lied to her about. You see this is the problem with lying. You tell one lie and peoples trust in you disappears. While I'm sure your mom loves you and always will. While her love is something you may never lose; trust is a different story. Trust is earned even as children you have to earn a parents trust.

That trust comes in stages, such as learning to cross the street by yourself. Walking to a friend’s house, going to the mall and when you are allowed to drive the car. Belief in what you say is another trust that is earned and like the rest of what I said it can be lost and needs to be earned back. It is also the hardest of the trusts to earn back.

If dad is in the picture maybe you can go to him and ask him to intervene. Don't be surprised though if he says this is between you and mom. When it comes to certain issues parents are usually united and trust is generally one of those issue they unite on.

You will have to go back and figure out when it was you lost moms trust. Then try to remember what things you may have lied to her about or what she may think you lied to her about. Fess up to what you know you lied about as I said you should. Then try and discuss those things you may thing she believes you lied about.

There is an old saying; "The truth shall set you free." In your case the truth will help you repair the damage between you and mom.

Good luck.

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Hi, I'm a 14 year old girl and I don't really feel normal. For starters my breasts are too small and I'm short, so I'm physically falling behind all of my peers. I know that I'll catch up though, so that only hurts my self esteem, but I'll be ok. What I'm really concerned with is mental development. I feel like I'm too "hormonal". I Masturabate once every two days or so and I have sex fantasies and things like that (although I'm not going to actually have sex for a long time). It just concerns me because most of the kids at my school seem so innocent, like they don't have hormones, or fantasies, or anything. So an I the only one? Am I "normal"?

Relax your normal. Masturbation is something most people, including teenagers don't talk about. In your case masturbating once every two days puts you at the low end of the scale.

Most teenagers, especially boy, need to masturbate at least once a day to deal with all the new hormones being released into their body. Masturbation is not only normal it is the best way for a young teenager to deal with the sexual energy now floating through them as they go through puberty. Sexual fantasies and masturbation go hand in hand so this too is normal.

Masturbation is, according to a recent survey, something 85% of the population does. This means in a 3.4 out of every 4 people masturbate. If you are in a family of 4 this means that you and your parents masturbate. For your parents it usually means they do so as part of foreplay before sex and would include, fingering, oral sex and hand jobs.

Masturbation is not a sin, it is just not something the church, Rabbi's or Imams condone. The why of it is because it is felt the pleasure derived from masturbation will lead young people to the real thing. As an adult I don't believe this.

Masturbation allows you to get in touch with your sexuality in a safe and comfortable way. So you are normal. Relax and allow yourself to enjoy getting to know your body and sexuality. Just do so in the privacy of your bedroom with your door closed.

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I m a boy nd my friend cums in my Ass ...
And blood did not relase.. Frm my ass
My friend is a Gymer
Is there any chanc of HIV Aids..???
Plzz Reply hurry
:'(

Unfortunately it sounds as if you two did not use a condom. Anytime you have unprotected sex be it Homosexual or heterosexual sex there is always the chance of an STD or HIV/AIDS transfer. This all depends on how clean the partners are. By clean I mean disease free.

Understand when you have intercourse with someone, be it anal or vaginal intercourse, and you do not use a condom. You are having sex with every person your partner has had unprotected sex with. A condom is known to prevent the transfer of most STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus.

If you are going to continue having anal sex with anyone you should insist on him using a condom. Even if a girl uses a vibrator on you, insist the vibrator be covered in a condom. If you are bisexual and were to have sex with a girl make sure to use a condom.

Anal sex is thought to be the way that the Aids virus is most commonly transmitted. If you are this concerned I would suggest you go to a clinic and be tested.

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I just love being alone. It's really hard for me to find people I like. And even if I do like them, I still don't want to be around them for longer than maybe half an hour. And if I could choose, I wouldn't be around them at all. It takes up so much energy to be outside and around people.
But I'm not really unhappy. The only person I feel really comfortable being around is my boyfriend. But I think that has to do with the fact that he too, is a quiet person and he just understands me in every way.
The thing is that I have to be around people every day so how can I relax more and be less annoyed or stressed out by it? I'm not really afraid of them, I just get really stressed. I don't think that I have a "disorder". I think that it's perfectly fine to like being alone. The only reason it's a problem for me, is that I have to be around people, because society makes me. I'm a student so I have no choice. And it's really making me tired throughout the day. When I get home I just want to sleep because I feel so tired but I can't because I have to study.
So I need a few tipps. :(

I disagree with you in your feeling that you do not have some type of disorder. I also disagree with the previous writer that the disorder is "misanthrope." You do not fit the definition of that disorder in any way from what you have written.

I'm not a doctor or a psychologist. From what I see from your writing you can interact with people when you need to. So this is not an all inhibiting disorder. By society standards though you are suffering from some type of social disorder and you realize you need to do something because you just don't feel right and it cause you anxiety to be around people.

These two symptoms alone say you need to identify just what the disorder is and how you can deal with it. The key words here are "DEAL WITH IT." I'm not saying you need to be cured of whatever this disorder is or if it is a curable disorder. I'm not even sure if it is some type of phobia or a character fault. The difference between them is phobia's can be dealt with in a variety of ways which include talk therapy and medication if needed. Character faults are not curable but can be dealt with by hard work to recognize the fault and deal with it through or by making certain life changes.

TO find out for sure if you are suffering from a character fault or a phobia you will need to see a psychologist. But first we need to deal with the anxiety problem as that is more debilitating than the other problem and also the psychologist is going to ask you have a complete physical anyway to rule out any organic problems.

My suggestion is you make an appointment with your family doctor for a physical and while with the doctor discuss you anxiety problem. The doctor can offer you medication for this. You can also discuss with your doctor your social problem and ask for the name or a referral to a good psychologist the doctor knows.

It cannot hurt you to find out just what this disorder may be and if it is something that can be rectified. Once you know then YOU can decide if you want to proceed with therapy or not.

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I went to this the em room for pain in my stomach. The doctor is it was a appendicitis. I have it removed the next day. The night after the surgery my IV machine would not stop beeping and I needed to go to the bathroom. I press the button for someone to one to come. No one answered. I pressed it 6 more times and still no answer. I didn't want to pee on myself and the bed and I forced myself up. Holding on to my IV I pushed myself forward. I made it to the bathroom and suddenly vomited on the floor. I went to the bathroom and pee I pulled the string and still no answer. I sat on the toilet screaming for help. A woman came she saw how hysterical I was and said she'll find my nurse. She left me standing over my vomit. I could have tripped and fell. With difficultly I made it back to my bed without help. It took my nurse over 25 mins to come get me. She apologized and give me pain killers. Now I'm filing a complaint. What will happen next? What are the hospital going to do b/c I am not letting this go. During that time I thought I was going to die waiting for them.

I'm not sure what you mean by filing a complaint as it could mean different things. Are you filing a formal complaint, internally with the hospital? Did you just write a letter of complaint to the Hospital President?

Both of these are internal complaints that will probably get you a very sincere letter of apology. There will not be any offer of compensation for your suffering or will there be any mention of what steps the hospital might take to correct what happened to you.

If all you want is an apology then if you have done either of the two things above, you have done the right thing. If you want compensation for pain and suffering you need a lawyer to file suit in court against the hospital possibly for malpractice or something related to malpractice.

If you have documentation or witnesses to what happened you will have no trouble finding a lawyer to take your case. Lawyers love suing hospitals and doctors. You will know your case is good if the lawyer offers to take the case for a percentage of what is awarded to you rather than an hourly fee.

My advice consult with a lawyer. Most lawyers do not charge for the first consultation.

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Hi everyone I am a 22 year old female and live at home with my parents. I recently got engaged a few months back to a guy my family loves. I am an only child and have always been very close to my family, especially my mom. My fiancé lives 2 hours away and works offshore so we do not see each other often. After long thought and talking with my fiancé I have decided that I am ready to move in with him now. When I told my mom this she completely freaked out saying "you will not move". Every conversation we have had about it since then only leads to us fighting and her being totally against me moving. What do I do?! I love my mom but also want to be happy with my fiancé. How do I not hurt her?

This is a tough question to answer. The reason for this is what is behind your mothers reason for you not moving. Is it because she does not want you living with your fiancé before you marry? Or is it she does not want you moving period, married or not?

Before you can decide how to move forward you have to find or at least attempt to find out the real reason why she does not want you moving. If she just does not want you moving that far away from her then you have a problem that can't simply be fixed by a wedding.

Once you learn the reason the answer to both questions are about the same. How you deliver the answer differs a little. You start by telling mom you love her and you appreciate everything she has done for you. You go on to say that as a mother she had to know that a time would come when you would want to go off and be on your own. Time is now,(here is where the differences are), that you miss your fiancé terrible and want to be close to him to spend as much time with him when he is at home as possible. IF this means moving to his apartment on shore then you have given this much thought and this is what you have decided to do.

Now if moms reason is that she does not you that far away from her. That problem is harder for once you marry you are going to go wherever your married lives take you. This is what marriage is all about. Then you go one and tell her how much you miss your fiancé and how much you want to be close to him.

You finish with the fact that you are 22 now an adult. That even if you were not planning to marry; the time to leave the nest and possibly move far from home would have eventually come. Tell mom that even though you may be moving out and on with your life you are never farther away than her phone or her computer. If mom has a tablet computer install Skype on it and on your tablet or cell phone. Show mom how to use Skype.

Skype is a wonderful program. Not only can you communicate with it but you can see each other while talking. If say mom calls when you don't want to be seen you can ignore the call or answer in chat only. Giving mom a better way of communicating with you will allow her to keep you closer to her while you are where you want to be and need to be. Hopefully this suggestion will make you leaving a little easier on mom.

Your leaving will hurt her. Our son moving a state away hurt us, but we speak to him daily and we see him weekly as he works not far away. So the hurt isn't that bad. He moved so he could have a better life, buy a home and a new car, something the cost of living here wouldn't allow.

Your moving for similar reasons, it is the right thing to do for you regardless of how mom feels or how hurt she may get. She will get over the hurt.

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Hi there, f/16
Me and my boyfriend had sex today.
It was his first time but it wasn't mine.
It was really rushed and we didn't use a condom because we didn't have one.
Since it was his first time he didn't last too long but that's ok. What I'm worrying about is the fact that I think he pulled out a second too late and he might have gotten some cum inside me...
I'm absolutely freaking out! It happened today,17/8/14, and I have no way of getting the morning after pill.
I also am not on any birth control pills but I am on anti depression ones....I really need some help.
Please don't judge.
I am not emotionally, physically, emotionally ready for a baby! Either is he!!!
Please, if you have any ideas or options please please please tell me.
Thank you so much!

Lets start with how close you were to being fertile. Research tells us that 85% of women ovulate some time between the 7th and 21st day of their cycle. You had sex on August 17th. How long was that from the end of your last period? If it is in that 21 day time period it is very possible you could get pregnant. The other 15% of women can get pregnant at any time during their cycle including while having their period. So the safest time to have sex without birth control is the first and last 7 days of your cycle.

Now just a guy may pull out before he cums does not mean no sperm were left behind to impregnate a woman. A guy emits precum during intercourse. Precum is emitted without him feeling it and there is nothing he can do to stop it. Precum functions as a lubricant and contains enough sperm to impregnate a women.

If you had sex during the 21 days you are most fertile you could get pregnant. I suggest you find a way to get the morning after pill ASAP. Being 16 years old under a federal law known as HIPPA you have medical confidentiality over your reproductive system. Part of this confidentiality gives you the right to see a doctor without parental permission for anything relating to your reproductive system. This would include requesting birth control medication.

You are able to go to any drug store and purchase the morning after pill as long as you are over 14. You can also co to any woman's clinic to get the pill and to then be prescribed birth control pills. You do not need parental permission. You have until the 24th to take the morning after pill and have a chance of it working. The sooner you take it the better the chance it will work.

NOTE: If and hopefully you are not; you are pregnant; the same law I spoke of earlier gives you total say on how you proceed with the pregnancy. Your parents have no say in the matter. Meaning that can't force you to have an abortion or stop you from having one. If you are pregnant and decide to go through with the pregnancy you will need to see a lawyer during your pregnancy to see what the law in your state says what your rights are once you give birth.

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I am a 33 year old man and I have been having an affair regretfully with someone for 2 years. I have tried to break it off with her twice and she always threatens to tell my wife. As long as I am having sex with her she doesn't care about my marriage. I am continuing with the affair for the sake of my marriage and I don't know what to do.

Talk about being between a rock and a hard place. In this instance you're damned if you and damned if you don't. You are fooling yourself to continue the affair to save your marriage. For either:

1. You really do not want to end the affair and using the threat of your wife finding out as a way of continuing it. or

2. By continuing the affair if your wife is not already suspicious; by continuing the affair gives her more opportunity to find out on her own.

Honesty being the best policy prepare to end the affair and come clean with your wife. If you want to save your marriage I suggest you have a good marriage counselor waiting to see you once you break the news. Be prepared with a place to stay if you wife asks you to move out and that does not mean going to the mistresses. You go to your parents or a siblings or a motel.

How you tell your wife is someplace away from the children, regardless of how old they may be. I cannot predict how your wife will react but she needs the privacy to react as she needs to. You need to let her react as she needs to provided no harm comes to either of you.

She is going to have questions, mostly of why, what drove you to another women. She is going to feel as if she has failed as a wife and a lover. I suggest you try to dissuade her from feeling this way. Ask her to go to the marriage counselor with you. If she refuses you go alone to start with.

This isn't going to be easy for you are going to hurt her badly though it is of a lesser hurt to hear it from you then to have here hear it from a friend or to find out for herself.

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Hi there,I will be going on a trip to California next month and Im scared as I can be!!
Im terrified of planes and flying!!!
I have this fear,because I dream quite frequently that Im going to die,or have died on a plane because it crashed!!
I seriously dont want to get on a plane,but kts not avoidable.Just thinking about it gives me even more anxiety than I already have.
To make it worse,I have to change planes on the way!! I know Im being chicken,and I need to get over it.But Im so so scared!!
I have flown about 5 times actually,but its been 12 years since I have flown.
Can anyone help me as to how I cannot be afraid anymore??

If you can find a psychologist who would be willing to give you extensive therapy between now and the time you have to leave. A psychologist is really the only person who can work with you to help you get over the fear of flying, though it takes time.

You could also seek the help of hypnotist to help you. They can put a suggestion in you while you are under that can reduce your anxiety. The last resort is to ask your doctor for a mild tranquilizer to take just before departure and again while changing planes. Mile tranquilizers can usually be taken 4 hours apart.

If you do go the tranquilizer route DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL WHILE TRAVELING. Alcohol at altitude has a much stronger effect than on the ground.

Now I could sit here a write about how safe it is to fly. How safe todays passenger aircraft are and how it is more likely you would get hit by a bus crossing the street then by dying in a plane crash. Somehow I think you know all this and trying to rationalize an irrational fear. It just doesn't work. Try one of the three I suggested.

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We are very lucky to have a place to stay tonight but I am not sure where we are going from here. We are homeless & don't have that much money. My parents, brothers & I been staying in the car & we don't have anyone we can stay with. I have been applying for a job like crazy. We live in Texas. What do we do?

There is information missing which would help in answering you. If there are young children then your family is a higher priority for emergency housing than a family of adults.

In order to get emergency housing you need to contact the department of social services for the state you are in. Each County has an office for this department. IF you don't know how or can't find the office of social services go to any police or fire station and ask for help.

actually your parents need to be the one asking for the help as they are the adults. The department of social services will find you shelter, provide you with food or take you to a place where meals are being provided. They will also see to your medical needs if needed.

If you can't find a police or fire station and you have a cell phone call 911 tell them where you are, street address or location and they will come to you.

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Recently, I've auditioned for a musical at a local theatre, and I got a very bad role. Judging by the age/skill of the other people there, I was one of the top three in voice skill, and the best at acting in general. When we got the parts, this camp (Read: CHILDREN'S CAMP. Nothing professional.) gave roles almost perfectly to those who looked the part. I really hate going there, and I feel like I should drop out, but I would also feel bad if I did that. What should I do?

If you are an aspiring actor/actress then you will take this role and make it yours. Any actor can take a role that he/she is perfect for and make it good. I takes a talented actor to take a bad part and do it well.

It just may be the director sees this in you and gave you this part because it doesn't fit anyone else. The director may just see your talents and is hoping you will use your talent to make that part work.

Yes, this is a boot strap answer on my part but it is just possible you were chosen for this part because you have the best skills. My advice is to think about this before you quit. I would suggest you stay and make your part or you the best in the play.

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Hi im 21/f and i need some advice. A few months ago my longterm boyfriend and i had sex for the first time and it was great. Ive recently developed a really strong bond with God and i know the bible says its wrong for christians to have sex before marriage... And i want to do things right. God has forgiven me i know but im afraid of telling my boyfriend we shouldnt have sex anymore... Im afraid of hurting him...

I think I see your problem. Your new religious beliefs are causing you a conflict of sorts. First is the fact that sex before marriage is not condoned. Second you should not be doing anything that could hurt others. Both are very good rules to live by. When one comes in conflict with the other you follow the one that is most overriding and most meaningful to you that causes you the least harm in all respects.

In this instance you follow the no sex before marriage which is the stronger of the two conflicting rules, the most meaningful to you and cause you the least harm in all respects. What you say to your boyfriend is basically what you have said to us. Choose your own words of course but you want to convey the fact that you have found comfort in god or Christianity on what to follow the churches teaching. You tell him you love him, if that is true, but sex before marriage is one of the strongest beliefs of the church and you have decided you will not engage in sex again until you marry.

If he loves you and respects you and has any intentions of making a life with you, he will understand. You say that you and he are or have been in a long term relationship and just started having sex. It is just possible if his intentions are to marry you that your decision to follow gods teachings may be just what he needs to make the decision to ask you to marry him. It is also possible that he will not want to live a strict religious life and this will cause him to want to break up with you. Not knowing wither of you I really can’t say.

What I can say with a certain amount of confidence is that you have to honest with him. If this is the life you want you have to tell him directly and not make excuses for not having sex with. It is the right thing to do and it is with in the teachings of you newfound religion.


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