about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

Hi! SO I'm a teenager and I always come to my mom to talk about anything because i know shell listan and know what to do and so on. On the other hand, me and my dad not so much. He always yells at me for everything and its very hard to always come and talk to him without him getting mad at me for some stupid reason. He checks my phone every day so he doesn't trust me and calls me a slacker for my grades in math and says i have the worst study habits. I find this very annoying! I want to get along with him but he makes that most of the time super difficult....advice on this for me please!! Thanks

This is a tough question to answer as there is no sure fire answer to the question. From what you write, since you didn't say, I will bet you are a guy. If I'm correct the problem is one that all teenage males face in some way or other.

Girls usually find they can talk to dad easier then mom for the simple reason that dad has never with mom because dads are always harder on the sons because they want their sons to grow up in to responsible men. Moms see this and provide the balance that the boys of the family need by listening and providing a little extra love that isn't coming from dad.

As far as doing better in math I can only suggest that you try getting dad involved in your math course. Today's math may be well above the math he took when in your grade in school. When he see's why your struggling he may back down a bit and maybe offer to get you a tutor.

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Hello, I am applying for UK Visa and I want to know what are the documents required for UK Visa.

For the exact requirement of the Visa you want I suggest you contact the British Embassy closet to where you live. Below are the location of British Embassies in the U.S. You can find their phone number through directory assistance.

The main Embassy is in Washington, DC the others are Consulate office the purpose of which is o help with question such as yours and to assist you in obtaining the proper VISA for you visit.

THE UK is a wonderful place to visit I have been there. May I suggest you map out where you wish to visit and talk with the people at the Embassy as to where you wish to visit. They were very helpful in advising us in how to get around.

Britain has an extensive network of trains making the the easiest and most cost effective way to get around especially with a Brit Rail Pass.


Washington
British Embassy Washington
Atlanta
British Consulate General Atlanta
Cambridge
British Consulate General Boston
Chicago
British Consulate General Chicago
Houston
British Consulate General Houston
Miami
British Consulate General Miami
New York
British Consulate General New York
San Francisco
British Consulate General San Francisco
Los Angeles
British Consulate General Los Angeles

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So everyone is starting to get worried because I’m turning 20 this year and I’ve still never been in a relationship, never dated or anything etc. Especially my dad he’s always bothering my sister and I about “where’s my boyfriend?” Even though I told my dad multiple times I have self-esteem issues and nobody finds me attractive anyways. In high school no guy has given me attention, they always went towards my friends I’ve also been called ugly multiple times by different guys in my grade so you can see how that impacted my self-esteem. Even my first day of grade 9 this one girl was trying to find a girlfriend for their friend and one girl pointed at my and the girl said “eww not her” as if I couldn’t hear her. Another thing is I was always told by my good friend that I’d be prettier if I started to wear makeup. At first back in high school that pissed me off but now that I’m older I understand what she means because makeup just enhances beauty anyways. Also my manager at my job can somehow sense I’m not confident in myself cause she also told me to start wearing makeup cause that’s what helped her build her self-esteem. Anyways with that being said because of how low my self-esteem is I don’t have the confidence to talk to guys, I literally stutter when I talk to attractive guys or stay quiet cause I feel like I don’t have anything good to say in general. My parents, my siblings and my friends are wondering when I’m going to get in a relationship. I can’t give them a solid answer cause I don’t know , obviously I have to grow up eventually I’m not getting any younger and should start experiencing life so does anyone have any tips on how I can get them to back off? (I do want to be in a relationship but you see my situation right?) also I have a baby face making me look 15 instead of 19 which sucks

First I do not believe there is such a thing as truly ugly. You do have self-esteem problems that I feel working with a professional to over come is in order. Now that your working your health insurance sill cover most of the cost or should.

IF you look at outer beauty as gift wrapping designed to attract then you have half the battle done. Outer beauty is gift wrapping. It is what is underneath in the box that makes the present and you are a gem among gems. What you need to do is enhance the wrapping a bit and find a way to let guys see what is in the box that is really the attraction to relationships.

No I'm not talking about sex or how good you may be in bed. I'm talking about the inner you. The person guys bring home to meet their mothers. So how do you go about this.

Start with going to a Beauty Parlor and seeing a hair stylist and finding a hair style that enhance your facial features. Then go to a department store makeup counter when the Cosmetologist is there and let her show you how to apply make up to enhance your natural features and what make up to use. This takes care of the outer wrapping. Now we need to find guys.

There are two ways you can go about this. One is to use the dating sights such as Dating.com. My son used one of these sights to meet his wife. He had not trouble meeting girls. The problem was meeting someone that would put up with kissing him good-bye in the morning not knowing if she would see him again the following morning. You see my son is a fire fighter. My daughter in-law told us at first she didn't want to answer his ad but she did and she fell in love with him. She decided she would take any time she could have with him.

The nice thing about these sights are you can custom fit the person your looking for. By the time you actually meet after exchanging emails and phone conversations your not really strangers.

The second way to meet guys is to sit down with pencil and paper and make a list of things you lie to do and things you would like to do if you had friends to do them with. Different hobbies you might like or want to do like photography or cooking. Yes men like to cook. Hiking, camping bird watching whatever you would feel comfortable doing and talking about. Once you have your list look fro clubs or adult classes in in your area for these thing. Don't forget to look at the Department of parks and Recreation as well.

Attend a club meeting or class to see if you like it; if you do join. When you have an interest in the topic of conversation it is easier to talk with anyone. Club or classroom conversation turns in to coffee or drinks after the class or meeting and then if things are right move on to relationships.

Walking up to someone you don't know and starting a conversation is something the majority of us cannot do. So don't beet yourself down on this.

As for what to say to your parents there is not much you can say. They are being a bit old school thinking at your age you need to have a man. They are worried you will be all alone once they are gone. Just assure them you are happy for know and when Mr. Right comes along you'll let them know.

Suggestions are; find a psychologist to help you with your self-esteem problem. Fixing that must happen before you can have a real relationship. Then you can if you wish follow one of my two suggestions for finding someone to have a relationship with.

One other thing; Stop thinking of yourself as ugly, you're not. You just have to make some adjustments to the wrappings to enhance how the inner you, the beautiful you is wrapped. Don't be so hard on yourself and allow yourself to have some fun. Now is the time to have fun.

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I know this is long and not many people like to read long questions, but I'd appreciate it. I'd especially like to hear from guys who can interpret what it means when a guy behaves this way, or girls who have been in a similar scenario.

I'm a 14 year old female. So there's this guy I see in Drama Club almost daily since we have rehearsals for our upcoming musical often. Let's call him J. I'll mention two other boys later, let's call them X and Y. I suspect he has feelings for me though he doesn't really express it directly. You see, I'm a very direct person; I say what I feel and what I think, but he doesn't seem to be like that.

What I notice about J that makes me think he likes me in a more than a frend way is that he just seems to be nicer to me. What I mean by this is he has a gentler voice when speaking with me, and just seems so much nicer. He's kind of a dickhead to other people but not to me. If other people call his name, he may ignore them, but he's always very responsive towards me. The only time I've seen him genuinly display anger or sadness is if something or someone is bothering me, and he is always quick to comfort me which he never does with other people or even himself. He's also nice and friendly to my friends in a similar way, but to a lesser extent. He's the nicest to me.

Once, I was complaining to him and a few other people about X who was bugging me for not liking him back. Then J got very angry, and said he thinks he knows who X is. I said his full name, and he said he did know him. After that day, X stopped completely. Then there's this kid Y, a close friend of J, who is in the drama club as well, that I thought seemed pretty rude. I joked that I think Y has a problem with me, and J got upset again. He assured me that I'm not the problem, then left immediately. After that, Y starts acting extremely friendly around me. That, paired with the fact that J's friends always treat me with the upmost respect despite the fact that most of them are slightly dickheadish as well is too much to be a coincidence.

I think I like him. I think he's funny, smart, and mature for his age, and we've got a lot in common. I think he has a sensitive and sweet side to him, he just only shows it to me. I wish I knew 100% that he has a crush on me so that I could have a crush on him without worrying I'll get dissapointed. Do you think he likes me? What should I do?

From what you write I think J does like you. Understand one thing about boys your age. BY maturity you are at the least one to two years older than a boy your same age. A boy 14 does not know how to express himself to a girl. Certain biological changes caused by puberty are taking place that cause certain things to happen that he can't control and it is embarrassing when it happens. When he gets a year or two older and his body has gotten use to these chemicals puberty has given him and hopefully he has gained some confidence around girls he will be able to express his feelings better.

When I was his age what you have written about J could have been written about me. My first girlfriend actual came to me. She invited me to the Sadie Hawkins Dance and we became a couple for the rest of the school year. Then her father was offered a new job and they moved. By them and with her help I was much more confident around girls and was able to hold my own.

My advice would be to let J know you like him and would like to see him out side of school. I'm the age of a grandfather now so I don't know exactly what kids your age do after school. Whatever it is invite him to go with you. Doing this will let him know that you are as interested in him as you feel he is in you.

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So I've known this guy for 2 and a half years. At the time we met he was married, but we became best friends, talking every day on the phone and occasionally going out for dinner.

His marriage was a green card marriage and his "wife" was dating other people, but she was extremely jealous of my friendly relationship with her husband.

Of course in the process, I wound up falling for him. It just seemed like we had so much in common and I could feel the sparks. However, I knew it wasn't good for me or them and I wound up telling him one day that I couldn't keep talking to him and exited his life as kindly as I could.


Well then about a week ago (its been 8 months since we talked) I got a message from him telling me that he had just moved into his own place in what happens to be one of my favorite cities to visit. I confirmed this through a mutual friend and found out his wife was also living with somebody else in a different city.

We got to talking again and then we met up yesterday for dinner. I was trying to just keep things friendly, but he wound up admitting his feelings for me and told me that he had adored me since we met and he was jealous that I was dating other guys (in the past), but knew he couldn't do anything about it since he was also married. He told me that he felt like I was the one who got away and that he had missed me when we stopped talking and kept thinking about me.

I was of course totally swooned and we wound up going back to my place, where things got heavy, but I did decide against having sex with him because I was worried about his current status still being married.

During the night he told me he wanted to be with me and I want to be with him, but then in the morning he said he was concerned about what this meant for me. He told me that although his wife and him have already decided on getting a divorce that due to the green card papers he has to still wait 6-8 months before they can process it. He told me that he understands if I date other people until then, but that he still wants to see me.


Now I'm really confused and I don't know what to do. Six to eight months is a really long time, but I really have feelings for him. I've never met anybody else who has as much as we do in common or the same kind of chemistry and I've dated quite a few guys. I'm almost convinced that he's the one for me, but I also feel like anything could happen in that time period. His wife is already an extremely jealous person and she's threatened me before. I know her stance on things is that she should be able to date who she wants (she cheated on him all the time), but she's still weird about me seeing him even though they both know the marriage was just for citizenship.

I don't know whether all of this is just a "the grass is always greener on the other side" placebo for all of us or if this is real and just terrible timing.

Any advice helps.

The fact that you are concerned about this situation says you need to approach this with caution. One thing you need to keep in the back of your head to use against any further threats from his wife is that Green Card marriages for citizenship are illegal and if found out even after citizenship is granted the citizenship can be revoked and she can be deported without the ability to return even for a visit.

As to you and him; caution is the key word. I cannot tell you what to do exactly other than to play out the six to eight months as you have played out the previous months since you two split the first time. If he is the right guy for you them it will all come together in time. If not then you will find someone else who is even better. For now though things have to be as they are today and his marriage is terminated before you go any further with him.

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My grandma was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and the doctors in the ER said she almost had a stroke. This happened to her before, but she refuses to take her medicine or gets confused. Most of my family can’t be around her 24/7 because we work. My aunt lived with her, but doesn’t help. She was hospitalized a couple of times for strokes. A couple of weeks ago she went to the ER and they told her she had internal bleeding but sent her home.

I'm not a doctor so my answer is nothing more then a some what educated guess based on better than average medical knowledge. People can live a good even a long life with CGF provided they follow their doctors instructions, take their medications and have a proper diet.

Having had some strokes complicates things as does her dementia. Because of the strokes one of the medications she is on is blood thinners which makes the internal bleeding more serious for her then for anyone not on blood thinners. Also it depends on where she is bleeding on the how and the why the doctors are doing nothing more than probably treating with medication and evaluating.

I would suggest you if you are over 18 , the doctors may want someone over 21, talk to her doctors and find out just what her medical status is. Ask the doctors if they feel it is time she be but in a Adult Care facility such as a senior living center or nursing home where she can be looked after. It may be that it has come to that time that your grandmother can no longer live at home.

I know the thought of putting a family member in some sort of home sounds terrible. There are some really good senior living centers that Grandma essentially is on her own but living under constant supervision of a doctor and nurses. Her quality of life should improve in a good senor living center or Nursing Home where she will be around people her own age.

I hope this helps you some what,

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Ok so, im in band at school and someone has taken my music, but i have to preform the song in front of a band director tomorrow, no one knows my music is gone and if i do not preform tomorrow my grades will be affected horribly... what do i do!?!?!?

There is an old expression that says "You cannot be harmed by telling the truth." Tell the Band Leader someone has taken your music and ask if there is another copy you can use to perform with.

I'm fairly confident your copy is not the only copy of that music. Go to the Band Leader in the morning before you have to perform, not 5 minutes before you must perform.

The Band Director could mark you down for leaving the music in a place it could be lost or stolen that is entirely the Band Leaders discretion. IF you perform well the mark down will not cause you to fail just not get the high grade you hope for. Afterwards you can appeal the grade.

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If female doesn't have a pill, but gives a guy a blowjob but doesn't swallow sperm can she get pregnant?

Short answer Blow Jobs cannot lead to pregnancy even if she swallows.

When it comes to sex we are usually talking about involving 3 of the bodies complex systems. The are the digestive system, the reproductive system and the excretory systems(your anus where you poop from) which is also part of the digestive system as it carry's the digestive waste from the body.

While sex can be had with all three of these system only sex through the reproductive system which is entered through the vagina can result in a pregnancy if some form of contraceptive is not used

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Wha does it mean when a boyfriend of months says, “you deserve better than me, as I’m terribly sad that I can’t correspond to you the way you want me to so and you’re a nice girl and deserve better than me.” We’re still together as we love each other but what’s he saying? Is that the way of him saying he wants out? Not sure. Thank you all.

Not knowing him it is hard to say exactly what he means. He writes, "I can’t correspond to you the way you want me to." Spins his thought in a direction of a different meaning.

Normally when I guys say to you that you deserve better than him he is testing the water to see if a mutual breakup is there. But he has put a spin on this that says maybe he is reluctant to split up with yo but will do so because he feels you want something he isn't or can;t be at the moments.

My thought is that he really doesn't want to break up with you but is willing to do so because of signals he is getting from you. My advice is ask him what he means by, ""I can’t correspond to you the way you want me to." It might be he is reaing you wrong.

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My wife came to me with a request that's really worrying to me. She wants to have another guy join us for sex. We are in our late thirties and have been married since we were twenty. I am the only guy she's been with sexually. Apparently she got the idea from one of her friends who has done this. She already has a guy picked out from an adult dating site. She hasn't contacted him yet. She tells me she wants to see what it feels like to be with someone else. She still loves me and doesn't want to do anything beginning my back. She was in tears when she told me this so I believe her. I agreed to do it but I really don't want to. I'm afraid if I don't she will do it alone as this friend of hers would tell her to and she is very persuasive. It all really makes me sick. I looked at the guys photo and he is substantially more well endowed than I am. My wife promises me it will only just be one time but I'm worried she will want to keep doing it. I just don't know if I can handle seeing my wife with another guys dick in her mouth or vagina out even his mouth on it. Advice please.

My views on sex is that anything that happens BETWEEN CONSENTING ADULTS in the bedroom is not weird or wrong provided both partners consent. The OPERATIVE word her is CONSENT.

A threesome between CONSENTING ADULTS is not all that strange. You are not consenting therefore it should not happen. For you to go through with this just to satisfy your wife's curiosity could be the wedge that comes between you for you may never trust that she is not seeing someone because she enjoyed sex with another person. You see your fear that if you do is also a fear if you don't which you have expressed.

Part of me understands your wife's desire to experience sex with another man. It was her choice to remain a virgin until she met you and maybe until your wedding night you did not say. Now over a decade later to say she realizes she may have missed out on something and you have to allow and participate is being very self-centered.

In your position I would go to her and tell her I have changed my mind. That I cannot participate in a threesome with her anymore then I could ask her to participate in a threesome with me and another women. While the idea may be very titillating and even the object of fantasy for many it is not yours.

The thought of you with another man even with my participation to my mind would eventually come between us. To me once you taste forbidden fruit its hard not to go back for more.

You can of course put this in your own words Should your wife continue to ask for this threesome then I suggest you seek out a good marriage counselor for counseling as there probably more to this.

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Been dating for a few months but known each other just over a year. both late 20's. we went out for a meal few times and kissed and been going out but not in public but he has a girlfriend and a 2 year old boy. now please guys don't judge me, he was not entirely happy when we went out and crossed the line by kissing and I had just split with my boyfriend at the time. we have said I love you to each other and he did fall for me really hard and so was I. he replies he's not playing with me when I ask him. Now, I asked him this the other day by where are we heading to this relationship, does he see us in the future, is he happy with her and he said, you need to live on the present and think about the present because you think about the future and you're to sensitive he says he can't guarantee to be with me because he's got boy with her plus she's never done anything bad to him says if he's single then of course we will go out exclusively, if she comes up to him says she wants to break up then he will come to me straight or one day if he's single then surely he will go out exclusively but not now as they're still together a boy they have, I asked him if he see them together for another 20 years and he got upset and why are you making an assumptions about everything, why, can't you enjoy the moment, i told him i want him to be with me but he says, 'WHY CAN'T WE JUST GO WITH THE FLOW?' WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GO WITH THE FLOW? he says he can't guarantee anything because he's still with her but as soon as he's single he will come to me. probably i might have asked too much he just got upset and said let's just be friends for now because you're a good girl and you deserve better. he says he loves her and he loves me too, i told him no you can't love 2 people at the same time but he said yes you can because you've never experienced like i have which i think is true as i only love him not other boys. so, what does he mean by go with the flow, he can't guarantee anything, he loves us both, when he said you deserve better than me, did he mean to says just go away??? i miss him though because he's a good boy with a good character. PLEASE HELP GUYS. though please don't judge me. does he see us into anything. he still says he loves me but he wants us to go with the flow and see what happens! he says i worry too much. thank you for the answers. I'M REALLY SORRY FOR THE LONG STORY

You don't say where you are in your relationship with him but an old saying might fit here. "If he is getting the milk for free why buy the cow?"

Right now he has the best of both worlds. Whatever he can't get from the mother of his child he is getting from you. He has no reason to make the decision you are asking him to make. He is telling you in not so many words he has no reason to and does not want to or have a reason to commit to you or the mother of his son.

You are looking for someone to commit to a life relationship. He is looking to a buggy ride with no commitments.

My advice is to tell him you can remain friends without benefits. Without a commitment to a relationship that has the same values you have you cannot invest any time in the "Flow" as he calls it. You will be there if he needs to talk with someone but that is the most you can offer him.

Then have your pity party if you must. Then get back in the game and find a man who will love you and value you for who you are and your values. Someone who will want to make a life with you. This guy is not going to go that route with you or the mother of his son.

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Long story short I've had to transfer colleges twice and every single time I've gotten somehow charged with multiple thousands worth of fees.

The first time when I transferred out of the first college (it was too expensive) they told me I had broken some kind of contract I don't recall ever signing about leaving their school before I got my degree there. They charged me 2200 and I paid it off to get my transcripts because no matter what I said they wouldn't budge on the amount.


Then the next school I transferred out of to go to a university. They told me I was all clear with them financially, gave me my transcripts and I happily started at a university the next semester. Then a few months later they send me an email telling me I owe them 2500 or it's going to collections. They told me the reason was because they couldn't find somebody to fill my housing (on campus) so that's what I was charged for. Again, no matter what I said they insisted this was in some kind of agreement I agreed to by going to their school.

So I decided to take a semester off college to pay that off. NOW my university says I owe them 1,300 for two courses I never unregistered from and that the last day to unregister was 3 days ago. Wow what a coincidence! Nobody ever even told me I was still registered for them. When I talked to the advisor there originally and told them I was taking a semester off they said I was all good to go and that I didn't have to do anything else. Now they're saying since it's past add/drop that I'm not getting my money back and that's what I owe them if I want to continue next semester.


I'm absolutely beyond furious. I feel like colleges are just businesses looking to screw their students over. I don't have $3500 to pay these colleges. I have no idea what to do beyond just quit and try to make a living working. It would take me years to save up that much money to pay them off.

I kind of just want to kill myself because at this rate I'm never going back to college and no job is going to want to pay me enough that i can survive off of.

I suggest you seek legal advice from a competent attorney. First thing you want to see is those contracts you supposedly signed that makes you responsible for the fees you are being charged for. I have a suspicion they can't provide you with anything that has your signature on them.

In some states verbal agreements are binding. If you are told you are in the clear with the school then you are in the clear. Tell the attorney who you spoke with. Let the lawyer do his/her thing.

A good attorney will set up a payment schedule with you with just a small deposit and a monthly or weekly, what ever is comfortable for both of you, payment.

Your attorney will send a letter to the collection agency which will cause them to back off. If they don't them the attorney has cause to sue them for the value they are trying to collect plus pain and suffering. The attorney will take a third of the value if you win. Collection agencies must stop if a claim is being appealed.

Colleges feel they have you by the short hairs. I went through this with my son. Colleges think they can with old grades for any reason they care to. They cannot. They tell you have contracts you don't or maybe a contract your parent signed when they enrolled you in which case your parent is the responsible party.

They do these things because they know you need your grades to get good jobs in your career field of study. They also know a good credit report is a must if you are looking for any job that requires a security clearance or a surety bind.

They also do not expect you to go out and hire an attorney to fight them. When my attorney called they talked tuff until the court complaint reached them. They settled in my sons favor three days later.

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15 year old male. I've recently met this girl at my Highschool, a grade below me (I'm a sophmore and she's a Freshman). I don't even know how I ended up liking her, but here I am. She's smart as hell, funny, gorgeous and talented. She's also unafraid of anything, other people would let kids get bullied, but she stands up for them no matter who is doing the bullying. She's even a bit snarky and I'd hate that quality on anyone else but on her I love them.

She also has a very caring and sensitive side to her. I have had a very difficult life-my father is an alcoholic, and my parents have never really noticed me at all. I've been used to having my depressed attitude and suicidal thoughts ignored by everyone, but she hears. She cares if I am sad, and she doesn't want me to feel lonely. Perhaps thats one of the reasons why I like her.

Whenever someone or something hurts her, I just feel so angry. I don't even get that defensive over myself, but I want to keep her safe from everything. With her, I've got no control over myself, and I can't get her out of my mind.

I've got a good friendship with her right now, and I don't wanna blow it. I'm not sure how she feels about me exactly, but she seems to like my personality at the very least. I want to try and flirt with her, but I can't help but feel like I don't deserve her, even if she did like me back. I'm so basic and plain compared to her. She is actual perfection.

I want to tell her how I feel, and how much she means to me, but I've got no clue on how. I've got no idea how to deal with this emotional crap, or what's wrong with me for falling to pieces over her. I'm afraid that if I tell her all this stuff-what I've written here-she'll think I'm weird and/or creepy. Can somebody please help me with telling this girl how special she is to me and that I like her without freaking her out?

Lets deal with one problem at a time as you have several to deal with. The depression you feel and the suicidal thoughts you have had are part of the overall problem you write about concerning the feelings you have for this girl.

Having suffered from depression myself I can tell you factually that depression does strange things to you. How we perceive things is one of the things most affected by depression. What you believe you see or fell is not exactly what you see or feel. The depression changes it. IF we deal with the depression everything else will fall into place as it should.

You say, "I have had a very difficult life-my father is an alcoholic, and my parents have never really noticed me at all." Your father being an alcoholic I believe, but you don't say anything about your mother. Is it possible for you to go to your mom and tell her how depressed you feel and ask her to help you get professional help.

If the answer is no then I would like you to do the following:

1) Go to a trusted teacher or your school principal and tell them you are feeling depressed and have had suicidal thoughts. By law they must help you get help by contacting the appropriate Child Protective Service.(CPS) CPS can arrange for you to see the proper medical professionals with or without your parents consent.

2)There is an organization called Kids Helping Kids. It is a hot line you can call answered by kids somewhat older than you trained to help you. It is totally confidential and you can tell them everything about how you are feeling and anything else you wish to talk about. Their number is 1-668-6868.

3) If you are having suicidal thoughts now call 911 and tell the call taker you are having suicidal thoughts and help will be sent to you. You do not need parental permission to call 911. They will dispatch the police, fire and ambulance to you. The police are sent to insure that Fire and Paramedics can get to you and help. In other words no one can stop Fire and Medics from evaluating you need for help. The fire department sends the closest fire truck to care for you until the ambulance with the paramedics arrive.

Doing any or all of what I'm suggesting should send a message to your parents about their legal responsibilities towards you. Their is one other thing I would like you do to. You father is and alcoholic. There is a group called Alateen which self-help group is part of alcoholics anonymous. The following url with take you to their home page and under al-anon meetings you can find a meeting close to your home. Go to a meeting makes some friends and learn how to live with an alcoholic father.

If you do these things and I know I'm asking a lot you gain your self-confidence and your perception will be better as well. With that you will be better able to read people and you won't need us to tell you what this girl is thinking which we can't tell you because we don't know her.

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I have a huge crush on someone in my art class. I'm 25 and he's 33. This man is seriously everything.... not only is he handsome and brilliantly talented, he is by far one of the most interesting people I've ever met (very sensitive and unique spirit) and he's also just a very warm, generous guy. The level of detail in the work he brings in every week is inspiring to me, and I'm pretty overwhelmed by how incredible he is. Every time I see him, I become more and more attracted to him and it's reaching a point where I feel like I should probably do something about it. However, I'm feeling stuck because I don't know if making a move (me being female) is a very good idea. If I suddenly started texting or calling him in a social manner or asking him out to go places, I'm afraid he'd find it weird and creepy, and not want to work with me again. He is one of the most passionate and dedicated artists in the class and the worst thing I could do, obviously, would be to fuck everything up and lose him as a project partner.

I first met him about 4 months ago at the start of the fall semester. Though he is gregarious and connects with people well (he works as a waiter), I get the sense from talking to him that he isn't the most confident guy on the planet. He definitely doesn't have great self-esteem, but I don't know if that would necessarily affect him in a dating context. If he were interested in me at all, wouldn't he have reached out to me outside of class (separate from the work we've done together) at some point? No guy has ever shown even the vaguest interest in me before and I don't see why he should be any different.

You have nothing to loose and everything to gain by asking him to coffee or inviting him to dinner at you place. Just make sure he is not married before you try to start something and don't let the difference in your age bother you or him which may be his problem. Once you become of legal age your numerical age is just a way pf saying how long you have been on this planet and should not effect a relationship. You can say it just that way to him.

When interested in shy men a woman sometimes has to take the lead. I know this for I use to get very tongue tied around girls. I could talk for hours on the phone but not in person.

My wife and I had to talk on the phone every day as part of our jobs but I never worked up the courage to ask her out. Then I had to go to her office for training and we met. She took the lead brought me lunch as I had not planned on it. I was going to get hot dogs off a street vendor. In NYC this is what you do for a quick lunch. She asked me to go out for drinks. Ten months later we married and that was 46 years ago.

So ask him for coffee or drinks after class. Then as my wife did asked me over for dinner. After that we were inseparable.

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I am in my 20's and I have a very hard time meeting guys. When I do meet guys I like I feel like they aren't interested and guys that I am not interested same thing- I'm not interested. It's a never ending cycle.

A while back I met this guy and we've talked on and off for years. I am not sure if he likes me. But he doesn't always initiate conversation or hold it. We reconnected in the last couple of years. He has asked me what my type was, teased and asked if I liked girls. Asked to hang out at night to cuddle but I told him I had to get to know him first. He then respected that and didn't push it anymore.

I want to know if he likes me. He has also said we've talked on and off for years, it's nice but it is also a tease and I felt like he was hinting on wanting to hang out. So he finally said welp, you should ask.

He also says he's shy when it comes to girls and in general. He also said if I invite you, it should mean something.
I'm just not sure if he likes me or not, is he giving me hints? Maybe I need to hang out with him to get a feel for him? We have casual conversations but yet sometimes he gets forward like that. And when he does that it makes me think he may like me.

Should I give up on this guy?

No don't give up on him, he sounds like a guy you could have a great relationship with if you and he put a bit of effort into it. The hints are there that he is interested in you but he is most likely also fearful of rejection . You may have to break the ice and ask him out.

You have great phone conversations so you could say ask to meet him for coffee. Your to young to meet for drinks so coffee is good. You could also invite him to dinner if you like to cook.

I know guys like him the shy retiring type. They never make the first moves in any part of a relation ship including going to a next step. You will have to make those moves. When you do he will treat you like a Queen. Most guys like him literally will worship the ground you walk on.

My Niece married a guy like him and he gives her everything. They had a beautiful house but she fell in love with a larger house. Fortunately he is a great provider and is also great saver investor and could afford to buy up. Presently he took family of 3, his mother in-law and his sister in-law on a two week vacation to Europe he paid for everything.

I believe this guy is the same type of guy. His worshiping of you means if he can afford it you will never want for anything. That doesn't mean you ask him for the world. It means like my Niece and Nephew in-law you should have a loving relationship.

So don't throw him out; try him out knowing you will have to show him the ay as you want to become more intimate in you relationship and probably lead him to pop the question when your ready to marry if you relationship leads to marriage.

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I'm 24 and these ladies at work keep talking crap about me behind my back/when they think I’m not listening. These ladies are around my age and talk about me in Spanish. They also make racial comments like calling me a mayate. I understand every word. I want to avoid confrontation since I don't want to work in a hostile environment. All that would do is make them more hostile toward me and they’re really popular. I really doubt they would get fired since they've been there for years. I've only been there for 1. I should also mention that I don't do anything wrong. I’m nice, but quiet and will help with work if anyone asks. I work very hard and don't talk to them. I'm not mean or cold, I say hi and goodbye, but I never tell people about my personal business. I know the second I share a detail about my life they will turn around and talk crap. This happened to me at another job, coworkers talking crap in Spanish and not knowing I understand and I just quit, but I don’t want to quit this job. How can I deal with this?

You should not have to work in a hostile work environment. It is up to your employer to provide a safe work environment. It is obvious these ladies do not realize you understand every word they say or they would close enough o you for you to over hear.

You say you left your last job because Spanish speaking employees caused a hostile work environment for you. I wonder how many others left there or your present job for the same reason.

Federal law is on your side. If you are in a hostile work environment then you go to the HR department, if there is no HR Department you go to the owner or managing supervisor and report the problem. By law the must correct the problem. If by correcting the problem it gets worse you tell them and they have to take more effective action or you can file a Federal EEOC Complaint.

Not only are these women causing a hostile work environment. But there actions in do so are racial harassment in doing so. They may be long term employees but you may be the first person to actually understand their language where as the employer doesn't and accepts them saying they are just talking in a language they understand better.

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My 12 year old son acquired a pair of police issue handcuffs as a Christmas present from his uncle (who works at a security supply store). I don't know what gave him the idea (maybe he saw a clip from an old sitcom online?), but he persuaded his 10 year old sister to spend a day cuffed to him. I didn't protest as they were both willing and I figured they'd both be sick of it within a couple hours. But I was wrong. They remained cuffed until bedtime, having a blast the entire time and without complaining once.

My oldest daughter (age 15) was as bemused by this as I was. When she was challenged by her little sister to try it before knocking it, she agreed to spend a day cuffed to her the following weekend. They asked me to hold the key and to not let them have it until the next morning, as they intended to try and last 24 hours together.

Unbelievably, they made it through the night and seemed to have enjoyed the experience. They even agreed to do it again sometime.

When I asked my oldest to explain the appeal of this to me, she said it was hard to explain. She guessed that it was because you really have to pay attention to the person who's attached to you and thus it's a real bonding experience, no pun intended.

She then said if I really wanted to understand, then the two of us should spend a day cuffed together sometime. I laughed at the time, but now I find myself considering the offer more and more, to the point of contemplating how we'd handle the bathroom issue and where we'd sleep if she wants to spend a full 24 hours together. Am I crazy for wanting to give this a shot? If it helps me bond with my daughter, what could it hurt?

I'm some what in favor of the idea with certain limitations. The bathroom situation needs to be agreed upon that privacy is required for each of you. I would suggest that and anchor point be placed out side the bathroom that the person not using the bathroom can be cuffed too while the other uses the bathroom. IN this manner the free will of the one is still restricted to the will of other.

The bonding experience ends at bed time. There is no way you and your 15 year old daughter should share a bed. I trust nothing would happen it is the appearance of things should some how word got out you and your 15 year old daughter shared a bed for a night. That is how you explain it to her as well. That's all it would take for someone to say something to child protective services and your children could be taken away from you.

I like the bonding idea to bad you could not do it on a business day where she cam to work with you and then you go to school with her. I think it would be an eye opening experience for both of you if it could be arranged.

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My school is going to Florida, and my teacher is taking us down to the beach. I can swim alright, but I feel really self conscious in a swimsuit. I'm on the heavier side, and I have stretch marks. What would be an apporpiate thing to wear on the beach that doesn't show much skin, and doesnt attract anyones attention?

A nice one piece bathing suit is always appropriate. This is a school outing and not, pardon the expression, a booty call. A one piece bathing suit is appropriate.

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Me and this kid, lets call him Liam, have been friends since I moved to thia school. He had a girlfriend at the time, and me and her were good friends. Me and Liam often ride the bus home together since we have the same bus route. We were riding home one day and he got a boner. I understand, it happens sometimes, especially to teenagers, so I let it slide. After that he started telling me things that you only tell certain people, like his fetishs and personal stuff like that. I pretended like it was fine, but it really wasn't. I regret doing that. He really crossed the line when he started masturbating on the bus beside me, and then putting that hand on me. I pretended like it was okay again. I have a problem with being way too passive, and trying to avoid conflict, even when it bothers me. The year ends, and I don't see him until next year. He apologizes for doing that last year, and I think he's changed, nope, not at all! He's way too open now. He still talks about his fetishs, and he even told me about his urinary infection. He asked me out a few weeks ago, and I denied. Now he calls me cute and adorable all the time, and it's seriously making me uncomfortable. I've tried talking to him about this, but he just won't listen. The girlfriend has been out of the picture since this school year started. I'm thinking about talking to this certain teacher about him. I trust him more than my own parents. I'm just scared that I'll get in trouble for pretending that I was okay with all the things he did. I really don't want my parents to know either, knowing them, they'll over react. I'm at a loss for what to do.

Masturbating in front of you crosses the line from sexual harassment to a sexual offense. By all means tell this teacher and make sure to tell this teacher this boy masturbated in front of you and tells you about his sexual fantasies.

The telling of sexual fantasies is sexual harassment. The fact that you were passive and didn't tell him to stop does not change that fact. The bigger problem is him masturbating in front of you. If you are aware of anyone else that may have seen him doing so tell the teacher because they will want to back up your claim on this.

As far as telling your parents I think you should. As A parent I will tell you we need to know these things so we may protect you. This boy may not stop if all he gets from the school is a warning. Your parent can demand what you cannot.

You can't be sure if they will over react and in this case overreaction is in your best interest. So tell your parents.

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Hi my boyfriend of 4 months day, you’re very raunchy in bed and very loud in bed and I love it. What does he mean by that? Is that a good thing? I mean we do love each other and known for a year before we recently started to date also he talks dirty with a lot, says he’s trying to get me into positions that we’ve never tried before. Not me but he sends pictures and says do you like that I can do that for you to please you. He’s 29 and I’m 28. A very nice boy. So guys explain please what’s he saying. I mean we both love sex very much he loves it as much as I love it. Thank you all!

I personally would not use the term raunchy in regards to my girlfriends sexual ability or our sex life. Then again I'm several decades older then the two of you.

I think what he is saying is he loves what you do for him in bed. That your not a strictly missionary girls and that you don't mind getting down and dirty in bed with him. The use of the word dirty is a good thing meaning you will try different positions and maybe different fetishes.
I believe what he is trying to say is that he is enjoying the sex life you two are having.

In my day at your age we where all YUPPIES. What we looked for in a women to make our wife and please pardon the expression was. A women who was a whore in the bedroom and Mrs.. White Bread outside the bedroom. The only thing that has changed today is the expression. "What happens in the bedroom between two consenting adults stays in the bedroom." The operative word being consenting.

My advice: From what you have written I would say you also are enjoying your sex life with him so take what he said as a compliment and continue to be the raunchy lady for him.


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