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I'm so done with this guy!
Me and this kid, lets call him Liam, have been friends since I moved to thia school. He had a girlfriend at the time, and me and her were good friends. Me and Liam often ride the bus home together since we have the same bus route. We were riding home one day and he got a boner. I understand, it happens sometimes, especially to teenagers, so I let it slide. After that he started telling me things that you only tell certain people, like his fetishs and personal stuff like that. I pretended like it was fine, but it really wasn't. I regret doing that. He really crossed the line when he started masturbating on the bus beside me, and then putting that hand on me. I pretended like it was okay again. I have a problem with being way too passive, and trying to avoid conflict, even when it bothers me. The year ends, and I don't see him until next year. He apologizes for doing that last year, and I think he's changed, nope, not at all! He's way too open now. He still talks about his fetishs, and he even told me about his urinary infection. He asked me out a few weeks ago, and I denied. Now he calls me cute and adorable all the time, and it's seriously making me uncomfortable. I've tried talking to him about this, but he just won't listen. The girlfriend has been out of the picture since this school year started. I'm thinking about talking to this certain teacher about him. I trust him more than my own parents. I'm just scared that I'll get in trouble for pretending that I was okay with all the things he did. I really don't want my parents to know either, knowing them, they'll over react. I'm at a loss for what to do.
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Hon, there are grown women who are sexually harrassed in public or at work and are too scared to do a thing about it. I remember being in HS and several guys in class talking about condoms and using them and bragging right there in front of me and my girlfriends. Luckily it wasn't more. I also was with my sister and girlfriend, having just gotton out of car for choir practice in church parking lot when a guy ran up behind us and tried to grab at each of us but got me mostly and we were all fighting him off, then he ran. I didn't tell anyone because I knew the parents would forbid us going off to church alone ever again or anywhere else for that matter. Something like that is random and not likely to happen again. But in your case or for a woman at work, guys know how to take advantage of how badly the paycheck is needed and fear of finding new work for one, and for young teens, a girl is not as self assured and less experienced as to how to handle such a situation. This guy you mention realized you had no idea what to do and used that to his advantage.
You certainly need to tell someone. So tell this teacher or if you have a counselor at school, then talk to them. If nothing is resolved with talking to them or the guy continues to be allowed in school and he doesn't stop, it then may become a police matter. I wish you were brave enough to say something to the guy so he knows you've grown some balls in the last year and will tell him off and not let him get away with anything. I had social anxiety as a teen so it wouldnt have happened for me but the person I am now would have said, "I do not care to hear about that. Thats inappropriate so stop now. In the bus, if other seats were available I would have got up and moved. If no seats were available which is usually the case, I would get up and walk up to the bus driver and let him know that the guy I had a seat next to was sexually harassing me. The bus driver is the only older person there and has to keep control of the bus and its passengers. If a city bus driver is having trouble with a really bad person on board, they can and will call police to meet them on their route and handle the troublemaker. I would think that with students, the laws are pretty strict too. I would not have ever sat next to him ever again after the first incident, even tho I was too scared to say anything to his face. If its an assigned seat number, then I would have talked to my counselor about that so he/she could reassign seats or talk to the guy and promise detention if it reoccurs. If he is doing all this now hon, I hate to think of what he'll be doing when he is an adult and out there in the world. Will he be sexually harassing women or raping them? Sometimes, not always, but if a person gets in trouble for their behavior when they are young or in this case, if enough females make complaints to the authorities of the school, the workplace or /and the police, then some guys may correct their behavior or have to go to counseling to stay out of jail or get locked up if they are a repeat offender. Think of this as doing something good for other females. I wouldn't be surprised if he has done this to other girls in other settings. You're just the one he;s doing it to now. Who has he treated like this before focusing on you. He also would not be still focusing on you if there was not some reward in it for him. Same with bullies, they bully because they get a kick out of making someone miserable or cry. He gets a sexual kick out of doing this and wants to continue and try to get away with worse. I'd be afraid of him cornering me some day somewhere where no others are near enough, when he's brave enough, and try to get away with raping me. If he doesnt get his hand slapped now so to speak, that is certainly a possibility. NOt trying to scare you but you need to think of the near future, and what could possibly happen. You've seen his behaviour progress for the worse. Without the authorities stepping in to warn him, he might continue to escalate the sexual harassment to something a lot more horrible. So for your sake and the sake of future women who come across his path, you really have to say something to this teacher or a counselor. Please don't chicken out and do nothing.
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Masturbating in front of you crosses the line from sexual harassment to a sexual offense. By all means tell this teacher and make sure to tell this teacher this boy masturbated in front of you and tells you about his sexual fantasies.
The telling of sexual fantasies is sexual harassment. The fact that you were passive and didn't tell him to stop does not change that fact. The bigger problem is him masturbating in front of you. If you are aware of anyone else that may have seen him doing so tell the teacher because they will want to back up your claim on this.
As far as telling your parents I think you should. As A parent I will tell you we need to know these things so we may protect you. This boy may not stop if all he gets from the school is a warning. Your parent can demand what you cannot.
You can't be sure if they will over react and in this case overreaction is in your best interest. So tell your parents.
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