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I am straight to the point, My advice is given based on my opinions of what YOU write. I may not always tell you what you want to hear but I am not here to sugar coat shit.

I am honest, I am blunt, At times an asshole but one thing I can promise, I'll never lie.

advice

I'm thirteen years old. I have identified as a girl for most of my life, but I have felt rather confused lately.

I feel like I have two genders, if that makes any sense. I sometimes feel like a girl, but there are many times when I feel, er, gender-neutral I guess.

If it helps, I am attracted to girls . . . I just don't see guys in that way. And I prefer to wear gender-neutral clothes.

I guess my question is, why do I feel like this? And does this mean something?

Thanks for any advice!

You are 13, Likely you are just going through a phase.

I was pretty tom boyish at that age too There is a HUGE difference between wanting to be a male then having desires of wearing gender neutral clothing and having days where you feel neutral.

Sounds like you are just a tom boy. Definitely not gender confused.

Hi i am Ranjit.i'm from India.i love my girl frnd very much,and trusted her,but she broke my trust.she had a relationship in past and had sex with him.all this matter came out after our 2years relationship from an other source.when i asked her about it she confss that it's true that she had a relation,but her past bf was very rude by character and tortured her mentally and physically and also sexually.she was abused by him.so she feel shy to tell me. i feel very bad that she lied to me that she doesn't had any relation in past,and she is a virgin(which she is not).she also lied about her original identity about her father's occupation,her looks,her background.we met in online at first.she gave me lot's of wrong details.whn i proposed her she agreed and slowly she tell me the truth about her life but not about her past life.but i don't mind it that she frst gave me the wrong information about her life.i angry with her because she lied to me about her past.now she tell me that she was afraid that i leave her and take her in wrong way.so she unable to tell all that matter.i am so much confused with my relation. i love her truly but now i can't trust her. I always support her ,take care of her.but she ruined me.now i think she used me,i had sex with her 2times. I can't understand what to do! Now she say sorry and tell that she love me,and wanted to be with me.and she lied because she don't want to tell her past life.plz suggest me. I feel horrible.

I'm sorry Ranjit but my answer I gave you is not going to change.

If you can't learn to forgive and forget then maybe you should just move on. Unfortunately like I previously said, Almost all women nowadays are sexually active. It is almost impossible to find a women who is not a virgin. Even women who are religious and from cultural backgrounds don't always follow their traditions.

It sounds to me like you can't get over the fact that she had been sexually active. You may need to move on because without trust in a relationship, You have nothing. I feel a bit bad for you to be honest, Your morals are unrealistic and your standards are too high. If you feel this way about relationships then maybe it's time you be single for awhile until you realize that this isn't what a relationship is about. Holding grudges gets you NOWHERE.

Is there any guys who are single in coeur d alene Idaho I am13 and really want/need a bf

This is not a dating site

It is also not recommended that you go and advertise yourself on the internet looking for a relationship. You are 13, If you want to meet someone then try looking in school.

My dog threw up on my faveorite blanket we washedit three times and it still will not come out

Depending on the material of the blanket, Try using warm water and dish soap.

Try running it through the washer with baking soda and laundry detergent.

Go to the store and pick up stain remover items.

soo is it possible to give my bofriend a boner while he's hugging me from behind since my butt is touching his thing .. i dont know if he had a boner but i think kind of feltt it not sure because my butt was really close weel it was actually touching his penis already this was at school we had clothes on of course !!... but yeah is it possible or else how can i give him one while hes hugging me from behind..?

Why is this important? Not be rude but seriously?

I first met this girl, she was nice, we liked each other.I proposed her and she agreed ,she tells me that she loves me so much and is willing to do whatever it takes to make the relationship work. after years i found that she lied to me about her past that she don't had any relationship in past and a virgin. but after i found the truth she ultimately tell the whole truth that she had a relationship with a guy who was tortured her mentally and physically and abused her.and she is not a virgin. i feel very bad , angry with her why she lied to me.she tell me that she was afraid that i after knowing her past i leave her,so she hide it from me. but now i can't trust her. i don't like it that my would be wife is not a virgin. i think she used me. but now she say sorry to me, wants to be with me.and wants to marry me. I LOVE HER ,but i feel very bad.and can't trust her.i feel that she is lying to me. but she is nice girl,very intelligent and very bright student,and not demanding. I don't know what to do, is there any one that will talk to me? Any advice appreciated thank you.

You need to lighten up

Your girlfriend may of been afraid to tell her past due to fearing of being judged. Right now, You ARE judging her and your actions towards this situation is very unfair.

I know in some religious cultures many men want women to be virgins before marriage. However, In today's society almost all woman are sexually active. It is the way things are and not many follow traditions anymore, Some don't even follow it even if they are religious. I believe you are being very harsh and unfair towards your girlfriend. If you really truly love her, Then you should learn to forgive her and get over it.

What's done is done, You cannot change the past. Being angry towards your girlfriend for what she has done or been through is only going to cause more misery for the both of you. In the end, It won't solve anything. What love is about is supporting your spouse no matter how bad a situation is. Right now, She needs you to help her and support her and love her for who she is as a person and not the mistakes of her past. It's not worth holding grudges, It's not worth being angry. Life is way to short, Learn to forgive. Stop being angry over stupid things. This my dear, Is something very stupid to be so angry over. Be thankful she told you the past, Get over it and move on. Stop being harsh and learn to listen, Be understanding and love her unconditionally. You get more with honey then you do with sugar.

My 26 year old daughter has always had an "anything goes" attitude. One of them is, get ready for this one....cockroaches. I am DEATHLY afraid of them. My daughter has a friend who has cockroaches all over her apartment. She goes to visit her quite often. I have begged her to meet her somewhere neutral instead so she doesn't bring them home to me accidentally. But she still goes there. She's 26. I can't prevent her from going there. But it's not fair for me to cringe every time she comes home from there. I've told her if she brings them here, she's paying to get rid of them. Still, she goes there. Any advice?

Unfortunately, You need to lay down some ground rules.

You are scared of cockroaches and if she continues to go into a cockroach infested apartment you will really have no choice but to deny her entering your home. I understand that this is your daughter, but sometimes we need to put a foot down to get a point across.

Cockroaches are disgusting, Although offering to pay for an exterminator like the columnist suggest below, It is NOT your problem nor should you have to take on responsibility because your daughter wants to do as she pleases.

You tell her to call you, She is welcome to visit you again when she stops going into a home with cockroaches. It doesn't matter how much you shower cockroaches lay eggs which can get on clothes, shoes, socks etc.

So again, Do as I suggested and maybe she will learn.

So if you had sex with someone who wasn't totally a stranger (like a one night stand)but then left once the 'deed was done' and did not stay the full night and go to sleep, what would the other person (still in bed) be thinking? Or is this a fairly common occurrence?

In my perspective, You got exactly what it was ( a one night stand) To some people that is just simply fucking and leaving.

It sounds to me like you may of had expectations or a different thought on the outcome. If you are offended by this then perhaps a one night stand isn't your type of thing.

You see, This can go a few different ways

A one night stand can be someone who is having an affair with someone and actually somewhat caring.

Or it can simply be good sex and thank you bye with no feelings.

Generally when people do one night stands, They don't usually cuddle. There isn't really supposed be "feelings" in the title.

I love my boyfriend vry much,and wants to marry him. we r dating each othr for 2yrs. but i lied to him about my past that i don't had any relationshp in past. actually i had a relatn when i jst 13/14 years old. my x bf was very rude and tortured me a lot mentally and physically ..and aslo sexually. so i ended the relation.after few yrs i met in online with my present boyfriend.and started love him. when he proposed me i said yes to him. but i can't tell him about my past and i also tell him that i am a virgin.i was afraid to lose him bcz he is very orthodox.so i can't tell about my dark past.now he knows everything from a person.and asked me and i told him everything about my life. now he can't trust me,he call me a sl*t,, and he said that
i deceived him and used him.he now wants to break the relationship or IF I WANTED TO BE WITH HIM THEN I HAVE TO DO WHATEVER HE WILL SAY. AND ALSO LEAVE MY STUDY AND MARRY HIM AND BE A GOOD HOUSE WIFE.AND he tell me that this my exam. if i passed then he love me again .but i can't leave my study at this time. so he don't talk with me .I really love him a lot.i can't live without him.what can i do??? plz suggest me ..

I do agree with Adviceman, Your boyfriend's demands are a bit unreasonable.

Unfortunately, You should never lie to people. If a person is religious, It still should not give a reason to lie about who you are, what you've done and where you've come from. It's either they except you for who you are or they just aren't the right person to be with.

Sounds like the boyfriend you have now is not only religious but a bit controlling with extremely high expectations? You see, You aren't an object and he does not own you, nobody does.

I am happy to hear you two have been together for awhile but I would most certainly set some boundaries between the two of you. If you don't, This may end up turning into either A, A miserable relationship or B, A very unhappy marriage.

If he can't learn to let you become you, Then he isn't the right one for you. However my dear, I don't think you should ever feel the need to lie as everyone has made their fair share of mistakes.

I need to know what jobs can i apply for if im 14???

Very few jobs are available for someone the age of 14.

Many states require by law someone to be at least 16 and that is even with working papers.

The best advice I can give you is to maybe try someone who needs help babysitting, dog sitting or lawn mowing. Try making things and selling them for example: Jewelry, Lollipops, Pastry, Old clothes.

You could try contacting your local McDonalds but I believe you have to be 16..

Hello, i am a 34 year old male, i been dating a female for three years, and recently i found out shes been dating someone else and shes been dating him for five years even b 4 she met me, and she's been accepting gifts from both of us... pretty much feeding us the same lies, so her birthday is this Friday, and i was going to do something special for her; give her nice gifts, had a luxury hotel lined up for her this weekend. But now since i found this out, im not doing anything for her... i dont even plan to wish her a happy bday, because i dont think she even deserve hat small gesture... but the nice side of me questions if im wrong or not, and i cant answer that because im really angry right now.... so what do you guys think? Do you think i would be wrong for not saying happy birthday?

Define wrong,

This woman has lied numerous times, She cheated and wasted your time for 5 years. No, I don't think it's wrong at all to not wish her a happy birthday.

Seeing I seem to be in a real blunt mood tonight I'm going to give you a fair share of the beans.

This woman is a cantankerous bitch who seems to enjoy being a gold digger to fulfill her dreams of being pampered with gifts.

You owe her nothing, Notta, Not a damn thing.

You should dump her, end it and cut all 100% contact. Do not answer text, calls or emails.

Her behavior was immoral and disgusting, She has wasted 5 years of your time lying and cheating on you while you could of found happiness with someone who loves and appreciates you for who you are and not your gifts.

Let her go, Let karma come and bite her in the ass. You move on with your life and find someone who is suitable for you.

I bought a promise ring for my boyfriend of two years. He works at a hotel, and I want to give it to him in a very spontaneous way. I was thinking of post-it noting his car while he's working, getting someone to call his work phone and telling them his car was getting towed, and when he comes running out, I was going to jump out from behind the car and telling him I love him and even though I made some mistakes, I want to give him a promise that I want a forever with him when we're older/can afford it.

Does this sound like a good idea? Do you think he'd get in trouble? I was going to do it towards the time he gets off.

It's a real bad idea to call someone's work phone for a non emergency.

I think it's cute that you have a ring, I don't think it's cute to give it too him while he is at work or to call his work phone number to disrupt him on the job. Why not take him out to dinner or even make a dinner at home and give it too him?

Okay, Okay, I will be fully honest.

I think the idea of hiding behind a car and saying his car got towed is not only an asshole way to do it but sort of cheesy.

I would go with a park, dinner or something that is romantic and on a time that is convenient for the both of you and not on a work schedule.

Hi,

I'm a thirteen-year-old girl, and I hate my life for several reasons. I'm going to focus on just one reason right now so you don't have to read a super long question. This question is already long enough as it is with only one reason why I want to die.

One thing I should say is that I like girls. I just don't see guys in that way. I have a girlfriend too. She is my only reason to keep living right now.

Then another girl tricked me into cheating on my girlfriend. She lied to me to get me to do it. The fact is, I didn't even know what cheating was until this happened. After educating myself a little bit on what is and isn't acceptable, I realized what she had gotten me to do. Now I hate myself even more than I did before this happened.

I told the girl that I do not want to be a disloyal person. She told me again that what we were doing was not cheating, and I explained why it was actually cheating and why I didn't want to do it. She got all angry at me about it, and then she said that I had to tell my girlfriend.

But I talked to my mom about it, and she said that I shouldn't tell my girlfriend. She said I had already learned my lesson about cheating and realized that I had been lured into it. And she said that I would only hurt my girlfriend if I told her. So I decided that I would rather listen to my mom than the other girl.

After that, however, the other girl said that if I didn't tell my girlfriend, she would. This really stressed me out. My mom thinks I shouldn't tell my girlfriend, but if I don't, the other girl might tell her.

I can't believe how stupid I am. I don't have any common sense. I just want to die. I hate so many people right now -- especially myself. Besides, my girlfriend is my only reason to live anymore, and who knows what I would do if she broke up with me?

One thing I should add is that I have made plans before (you know, plans to kill myself), but they were ruined every time. And I have struggled on and off with cutting for a while now. If that helps anything.

P.S. I'm sorry for the length. And sorry that this didn't make any sense.

First, You didn't go into detail to exactly what happened.

Second, Nobody can "trick" you into cheating. It's either you do or you don't unless of course you were FORCED to do something sexual then this would be sexual assault, rape.

There is a huge difference between being sexually assault and tricked into doing something.

Now as for telling your girlfriend, This is entirely up to you. Just know that if she did find out and confronted you about the situation, It would be really wrong on your part to come out and lie about it. If you really care for her, Be honest and don't keep things from her.

Unfortunately, You have learned a lesson. Remember, Nobody can make you do anything you do not want to do. NEVER allow someone to manipulate you or take advantage of you. You are your own person who has your own rights.

Relationships will come and go, We learn, We grow and we make mistakes. It's apart of life hun and at the age of 13, You are going to experience a lot more in your life then this relationship.

How can I win my wife back? I am a 34 year old female. I have been married for a year, but we have been together for 5yrs.

I would need a more detailed description to be able to help you. Please tell me the situation and I will be glad to edit my answer.

22/f

Okay so I've been best friends with my friend for about 15 years. almost 2 years ago we had an argument (I went away for college and she stayed home for hair school). I was upset whenever I came home she would never see me or didn't have time to see me on my breaks from school. So we stopped talking. I've tried reaching out to her before through a text maybe 3 times last year to hang out or to talk about what happened but I got no response back, yet she still managed to say happy birthday to me last year. Well today I decided to try one last time to reach out to her I said I wouldn't be back from school till thanksgiving but I asked if we could get lunch and catch up and she never responded back. I honestly don't know what I did 2 years ago, our moms ran into one another and my mom mentioned that her that my friend and I should meet up sometime and my friends mom said "oh I don't think they will ever be friends again". Again, I honestly don't know what I did and I think for someone to be friends with you that long and gets treated like that by ignoring me and not answering me is awful. She still talks to my other friends from time to time but not me. I don't even know if its worth it to say anything else to her since she's not answering me and I've tried so many times, but I really put a lot and cared about our friendship ya know? I guess I am asking, what would you guys do in my situation? would you keep trying to contact her or just give up? what should I do?

Thanks!

The average friendship generally last from 2-5 years.

Unfortunately, People grow apart in life. Some are meant to stay for awhile longer then others but that doesn't always mean they are meant to stay forever. I also had a friend whom I knew for 13 years and fell out with back 2 years ago. Sometimes we drift, We want different things in life or it could simply be that we change in time.

This isn't about burning bridges, It's about growing apart. You have attempted to reach out to her a few times with very little effort on her behalf to try and rekindle the friendship you both once had. Sometimes things just aren't meant to be. I can tell ya this, It took me a long time to except that my ex friend is no longer apart of my life as well. What did I do? I went on with my life. I met new friends, I got into college, I moved out and I got a job where I met new people. If you run into this friend, You could try and be civil but sometimes we just need to take things as it is and learn to move on.

Hi, I'm 20/f && my boyfriend is 22. This weekend we had sex for the first time. The first time we had intercourse, he lasted a few minutes. He exclaimed that I had the best he has ever had or tasted, blah blah blah. Well the next day, we were fooling around and I went down on him, and then we proceeded with intercourse. Like, this was a lot more rough than the first (he called it love making; second time was fucking..whatever) everything was great, then he pulled out, and I could hear it in his voice how upset he was, but he said that he didn't know what the problem was but he couldn't keep it hard and I'm the only girl he's ever done with that. I was crushed, automatically assumed the worst. Neither one of us knows why it happened. He claimed it had nothing to do with me, that it was him and was literally boohoo crying. :(

He said his stressed about his daughter && the fact that he has to leave in 12 hours to go back to Michigan ( long distance relationship, for now)

But idk what to believe. He gets so turned in around me, he swears he wasn't lying about being the best he's ever had, but idk..

Is it normal? Is it me? Could stress cause it?

Btw, we did have several shots of vodka, but he said he wasn't buzzed or anything..

You are being to hard on him.

There could be several factors. Your boyfriend admitted to you that he was stressed and has to leave for Michigan. Obviously the guy has a lot on his mind, Stress alone can have a big impact on someone's sex drive. Another possibility is that he could have erectile dysfunction or even a medical condition he isn't aware of. Is he on any medications? It could even be the fact that he took a few shots of vodka! alcohol can also have a negative effect on someone also. Instead of jumping to the wrong conclusions, You should try and support him and listen to him. From what you have written, Sounds to me like it's just stress on his end.

I was talking to my boyfriend and I suddenly got a random text from someone. His (Lets just call him Jim) profile picture looked kind of fake and so did his name, so I asked my boyfriend if he knew him. He said yes.

Jim asked me if I was dating my boyfriend, but he asked right away... I thought it seemed kind of weird so I just ignored the message and blocked him.

My boyfriend has some jealous friends that are girls, so I'm kind of assuming it was one of them but my boyfriend said he was just with Jim... Am I overreacting?

Here is what I automatically thought when I read this.

It is possible your boyfriend may know Jim, However it is also possible that one of his jealous friends had created of fake profile of this "Jim" and started drama on facebook. If Jim had suddenly out of the blue asked you this question, It may be best to tell Jim that you are in a relationship and please to not ask anymore personal questions as it makes you uncomfortable. If this person continues to harass you then yes, You may need to block this person. Unfortunately, People are drama and facebook isn't always the safest place for networking but then again that's pretty much anywhere.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. lately I've been feeling like he's holding me back.

I've always wanted to travel and do things with my life. I never wanted to be the settle down get married and have kids type. Right now I work 50 hours a week, I'm barely scraping by. I'm 21 and I haven't done anything with my life at all.

My boyfriend has just graduated college. He lives with me and doesn't have a job, and I'm supporting him, paying all the rent and bills and food and all that. So I can't afford to go out with friends and stuff. Which, for him is totally ok, becuase he's the type that likes to stay in and watch movies.

I just feel that if I stay with him, I'm stuck with this boring life forever. But I do love him for his humor, his personality, his intelligence, the sex is great, and many other things. He is a really great guy. I'm afraid that I've been with him for so long that I've gotten comfortable and wouldn't know how to be with anyone else.

I'm just so lost right now and I don't think this little explanation does it justice. I don't know what to do. Any and ALL feedback would be great.

Thanks

You may need to take a break for awhile, The relationship seems to be a bit overbearing for you. It is okay to support your spouse for a certain amount of time but you mentioned nothing of him trying to get a job. You pretty much answered your own question my dear, You should and need to do what is best for you not him. Perhaps you love him, Sometimes love just isn't always enough in a relationship. If you really do feel this way, You may need to let him go and rekindle later when he is more stable if it is meant to be. Right now, You have a life you want to live, You have goals and you shall follow them. Never allow someone to hold you back from achieving what you may only achieve once.

Best of luck

Ok so here is the situation I have been wit my bf for 3 yrs now. We have a beautiful baby boy and he is always so happy. My bf is an alcoholic and he has slowed way way down but every once in awhile wen something is going bad he relapses n he is mean. In the past it was terrible miserable I can't even find the right words for it. it was a full blown abusive relationship. We broke up he got better and I accepted him to be in our life. for the note he is an AWESOME daddy. So he cheated a lot in the past with about 16 different girls and I still have my fears that he will do it again. I do push and question a lot and he swears he hasn't done it and I haven't heard anything which I usually do because people like to start drama. But it still hurts really bad and he doesn't like to talk about it because it makes him feel like a piece of shit and he feels he has to live in the past. Well anyways that caused tension he went n drank. He started calling me the usual names dumb bitc* c*nt sh*t like that and then it got serious he said to me Your just mad that I cheated on you and stuck my d**k in some other chick and came in her.... then just lost it and started telling me a bunch of bullshit I turned up the music and plugged my ears. We went to some girls grave that we went to school with and he got out and started crying on her grave right in front of me but said she was one of the ones and I was his only one. I don't get that I don't think he loves me Does he love the thought of love, security, bond and everything that a relationship entitles When we fight he goes to extremes to make me feel the worst possible but then for the next month or two we are perfect. Maybe he just loves the fact of the relationship but he actually doesn't love me? Or is it just a drunk relapse and he is mad at me because I demanded him to slow his drinking down and he is mad because it is hard and he relapses and he thinks I will get pissed at him for it when really it can be handled way different and Im willing to work with him when he doesn't treat me like shit. Please help. I love him I love him sooo much and I want all this to stop. Can it be fixed or is it break up time.... In the end I just want what is best for my baby, he is the air I breathe he is my savior baby I love him more than anything and I wanna give him a beautiful life... HELP ASAP

You are missing the point, He IS a piece of shit.

You're boyfriend needs to get professional help, He is incapable of changing on his own. If you want what is best for you and your baby then you need to set an example and LEAVE the relationship. As a mother, Your job is to provide a good living environment for your child. Never allow someone back into your life that has the dignity of cheat on more then several occasions and be well aware of his actions. Why is he with you? because you keep allowing him to crawl back to you. As long as he thinks it is okay, He will continue to take advantage of that. In my personal opinion, He has far to many times blown his chances. The name calling, The bringing up the cheating would have most certainly ended it right then and there on my behalf. You stated he doesn't want to live in the past but the thing you are missing is that he IS living in the past. Your boyfriend is refusing to help himself and keeps on repeating old habits, His behavior is unhealthy and his actions are beyond uncalled for. It is extremely unacceptable and you should and need to move on. Focus on you and your baby, Not someone who needs serious help.

I was at a pool party last week! It was cold so we all got in a group hug in the pool. I was in the middle of the hug and the boys were behind me (hugging).. It was a tight hug and now I'm scared I could be pregnant! Is it possible

No

Please read up on sexual intercourse. I am not trying to be rude but you are way off...

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