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Friendship gone sour
22/f
Okay so I've been best friends with my friend for about 15 years. almost 2 years ago we had an argument (I went away for college and she stayed home for hair school). I was upset whenever I came home she would never see me or didn't have time to see me on my breaks from school. So we stopped talking. I've tried reaching out to her before through a text maybe 3 times last year to hang out or to talk about what happened but I got no response back, yet she still managed to say happy birthday to me last year. Well today I decided to try one last time to reach out to her I said I wouldn't be back from school till thanksgiving but I asked if we could get lunch and catch up and she never responded back. I honestly don't know what I did 2 years ago, our moms ran into one another and my mom mentioned that her that my friend and I should meet up sometime and my friends mom said "oh I don't think they will ever be friends again". Again, I honestly don't know what I did and I think for someone to be friends with you that long and gets treated like that by ignoring me and not answering me is awful. She still talks to my other friends from time to time but not me. I don't even know if its worth it to say anything else to her since she's not answering me and I've tried so many times, but I really put a lot and cared about our friendship ya know? I guess I am asking, what would you guys do in my situation? would you keep trying to contact her or just give up? what should I do?
Thanks!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I was in a similar situation.. I had a best friend in high school and I honestly thought she was like my sister. I'm in my third year in college and to this day I still think about her, wondering what she is up to and remember all the fun times we had together. We ended our friendship because of a stupid jealousy fight and I regret it a lot. I've reached out to her a few times and she denies me. My motto in life is "just try your hardest and go with the flow". If you really tried to reach out to her and mend the friendship, and she still denies you.. well at least you can say you put in the effort and if it's meant to be then it will be. All you can do is try. And if it doesn't work, then you move on with your life.
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The average friendship generally last from 2-5 years.
Unfortunately, People grow apart in life. Some are meant to stay for awhile longer then others but that doesn't always mean they are meant to stay forever. I also had a friend whom I knew for 13 years and fell out with back 2 years ago. Sometimes we drift, We want different things in life or it could simply be that we change in time.
This isn't about burning bridges, It's about growing apart. You have attempted to reach out to her a few times with very little effort on her behalf to try and rekindle the friendship you both once had. Sometimes things just aren't meant to be. I can tell ya this, It took me a long time to except that my ex friend is no longer apart of my life as well. What did I do? I went on with my life. I met new friends, I got into college, I moved out and I got a job where I met new people. If you run into this friend, You could try and be civil but sometimes we just need to take things as it is and learn to move on.
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So if I understand correctly, you both had an argument, and it was not resolved before you both went to your perspective colleges. Some people take longer than others to get over a hurt. I'm guessing youre about the same age so you were both were about 19, 20 at the time. Looking back to when I was that age, I can say I thought I was mature and grown up but I was still not making the best adult decisions. Its a scientific fact that our brains aren't fully done growing and able to make good rational decisions until we hit our mid 20's. You're getting there but not quite there yet. You may be a bit more mature and willing to apologize and not have anything between you but she might for no good reason at all choose to hold a grudge.
It's either that or in the two years she's discovered that she doesnt feel she has much in common anymore with you. Friends can change a lot and drift apart from high school through college. and thats because you're still growing and changing as a person.
What can't be explained is why if thats the case she wouldn't just simply tell you and say that she doesnt wish to continue to be close with you.
You've done what you can. For any relationship to work, especially when it comes to a man and marriage, it takes both people putting in maximum effort to make it a good relationship. It can't be one sided effort. So, stop trying, try not to be angry. Perhaps in a few years she will grow up and feel bad about how she left you hanging and out of the blue approach you. So don't burn your bridges, allow her to contact you and apologize. If you repair things but find you both no longer have much in common to spend mass times with each other, then agree to be good acquaintences and each go your own way and continue to build new friendships.
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