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He couldn't stay hard during intetcourse.
Hi, I'm 20/f && my boyfriend is 22. This weekend we had sex for the first time. The first time we had intercourse, he lasted a few minutes. He exclaimed that I had the best he has ever had or tasted, blah blah blah. Well the next day, we were fooling around and I went down on him, and then we proceeded with intercourse. Like, this was a lot more rough than the first (he called it love making; second time was fucking..whatever) everything was great, then he pulled out, and I could hear it in his voice how upset he was, but he said that he didn't know what the problem was but he couldn't keep it hard and I'm the only girl he's ever done with that. I was crushed, automatically assumed the worst. Neither one of us knows why it happened. He claimed it had nothing to do with me, that it was him and was literally boohoo crying. :(
He said his stressed about his daughter && the fact that he has to leave in 12 hours to go back to Michigan ( long distance relationship, for now)
But idk what to believe. He gets so turned in around me, he swears he wasn't lying about being the best he's ever had, but idk..
Is it normal? Is it me? Could stress cause it?
Btw, we did have several shots of vodka, but he said he wasn't buzzed or anything..
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This isn't uncommon. It's not the girls fault either. A lot of girls are like, "Maybe I don't make him turned on, or I'm not sexy enough."
But he straight up told you he was stressed. That can cause problems in someones sex drive.
If this happens a lot, then there's most likely a problem and he should get checked out.
But don't get upset or anything, it really won't help the situation. Just be supportive and say that it's fine because his ego is probably hurt.
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This happens to the best of us and when it does it is embarrassing for us. We can't explain why and the women automatically assumes there is something wrong with her.
The problem has little if anything to do with the woman and all to do with the male. Alcohol, stress, medications and other factors can cause this problem. There could even be environmental problems such as the sent of the sheets triggering a reflex or memory from long ago.
As long as the problem does not recur over and over again he should be fine. Your part in this problem is to be supportive as his ego has been damaged. Yes this may not have happened before though the circumstances that caused it to happen may not have been in place before either.
If he is truly concerned that he has a problem then suggest he see his doctor. Though if this is a one time occurrence I do not think he should be that concerned. I will say if he continues to be concerned he will suffer performance anxiety and it will happen again.
You and he have to understand that this will happen on occasion during the course of a mans life through no real fault of either of you. When it does the woman's job is to be supportive. Let him rest and try again on another night. Only if it happens frequently is it time to see a doctor.
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You are being to hard on him.
There could be several factors. Your boyfriend admitted to you that he was stressed and has to leave for Michigan. Obviously the guy has a lot on his mind, Stress alone can have a big impact on someone's sex drive. Another possibility is that he could have erectile dysfunction or even a medical condition he isn't aware of. Is he on any medications? It could even be the fact that he took a few shots of vodka! alcohol can also have a negative effect on someone also. Instead of jumping to the wrong conclusions, You should try and support him and listen to him. From what you have written, Sounds to me like it's just stress on his end.
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