|
Gender Identity
I'm thirteen years old. I have identified as a girl for most of my life, but I have felt rather confused lately.
I feel like I have two genders, if that makes any sense. I sometimes feel like a girl, but there are many times when I feel, er, gender-neutral I guess.
If it helps, I am attracted to girls . . . I just don't see guys in that way. And I prefer to wear gender-neutral clothes.
I guess my question is, why do I feel like this? And does this mean something?
Thanks for any advice!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I'm no expert on overcoming this, what i do is accept it. I have the same problem, call myself a tomboy for it, like girls, am in the closet, love guys (as friends!), and am planning to wear a suit to my formal dance coming up. People say i shouldn't dress up as a guy, and i guess the point i'm trying to make is that you shouldn't be classified as any gender, i'm just dressing up as not a guy, not a girl, but me. That kind of thing should be what's most important to you.
And your attraction to girls, of course it means something, it means you've found that girls are easier on your heart, and in the end, the people who are going to be there for you. Most of all, it's not about who you're attracted to, because that all fades out when you find who you love.
I bet when you were a kid you liked cars and not barbies, you were the dragon, not the prince, or the princess. Don't worry about it, you're not the only one, i'm an example. Girl, people like us, we can't be classified because we are UNIQUE!
Gender-neutral clothes? We see the best in both styles and realize that style shouldn't make who we are. In the end we will be the ones fighting for equality, we will be the ones who understand, you should be proud and never question it... take advantage! Use it in your acting, your sports. Use the female side, where it is most strong, and your male side to enhance yourself, push yourself a little more.
All that you're feeling, it just means that you have a bigger heart than most others, and you might feel put down because of the awkwardness of being different from everyone else, but however you described you were feeling, that's what's beautiful about you and when you realize this, i bet you will want to help people feel beautiful in what they do to.
Sorry for the long answer, but i recognized myself in you... you will go places beautiful.
]
I wouldn't worry about it. How you feel about your gender and sexuality can change a lot between now and your mid 20's. For now, don't be afraid to explore and learn anything about your sexuality and gender. Gender is something on the inside of you, not based on whats on the outside.
There are some people who feel they are one or the other or both or neither, genderless. And then sexually, not attracted to either sex too.
Some people end up attracted to the same sex, opposite sex, both sex or neither and guess what, all of that is normal. The only one least talked about and understood is the last one, not attraction to either and no interest in ones own sexuality or gender, and that is Asexuality.
so her's a couple short videos by a favorite 23 yr old you-tuber who has great info for todays young people.
first one is labeled Pansexual
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Next is one on being Asexual
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Bi-sexuality
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Transgender
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
And lots more to cover anything about relationships and sexuality. Enjoy.
]
You are 13, Likely you are just going through a phase.
I was pretty tom boyish at that age too There is a HUGE difference between wanting to be a male then having desires of wearing gender neutral clothing and having days where you feel neutral.
Sounds like you are just a tom boy. Definitely not gender confused.
]
I wish I had the education to answer this question properly as it is a very important question. First let me assure you there is nothing wrong with you. This may be the way you were born. I say may as at your present age puberty and hormones are playing havoc with your sexuality. Meaning it is during this period in your life that your sexual identity emerges. Your sexual identity and gender identity can be different.
What I'm going to recommend and because this is such an important question is: That you discuss this with your mom. This is not something you should be confused or ashamed about. Your mom is not going to have any better answer than I have. She may want you to wait until you are further along in puberty and see if you still feel this way.
This to me would be wrong. You need the help of a professional psychologist to help you as you work your way through puberty and this identity situation. No you do not have any type of mental illness. Psychologist do not just work with the mentally ill. In fact what is troubling you is exactly what they are trained to help with. To help you feel good about who you are and not to be confused about who you are sexually.
Without the help of a psychologist or sociologist you can easily become confused which you may already be starting to be. This could lead to depression then yes you would have a mental illness.
My advice to your mom is lets avoid you becoming depressed as there is no need for that. It is my belief that neither she or I can answer your questions and it is important that you get the right answers to these question. The proper help to do so is by arranging for you to see a psychologist or sociologist.
What you need to know about seeing either one of these professionals is you have total confidentiality when you see them. What is said between you and them is confidential and stays between you and they. In effect they become your new best friend with whom you can tell your deepest darkest secrets knowing no one will ever hear them from the psychologist or sociologist.
]
More Questions: |