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Overage Love...
Ok, So I am 13 years old and since May 2005, I have found myself madly in love with no other than a 20 year old McDonalds worker. He has started to open up a little more in the past couple of months, and he gives me lots of hugs, flirts, and shows all the "signs" of love back. Yet he has never told me. This week we are supposed to go to the movies. My question is, Should I open up and tell him I love him or should I just wait until he does?
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Wow, that's sick. He is sick for persuing this opportunity to take advantage of your youth, not to mention his pedaphilia. It's hard to hear, I know. Please stay far away from him.
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Hi and thanks for your E-mail. First of all have you noticed the age gap between the two of you? Just remember that hes an adult and your still a child. What I reccomend is that you think about what your going to do and then think of the consequences. This guy is 7 years older than you. However if you really want to tell him how much you love him, just do it. Who knows it might just work out between the two of you. Daniel.
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um..it's kinda illegal for you guys to be dating. so if you don't want him to go to jail i suggest you dont' say anything.
-.christina*
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your 13 and hes 20..thats against the law..dont do anything..
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If you really love him, this is probably hard to hear but....
Abandon hope. Now.
The gap between you in age, maturity, intelligence, sense of humor, and interests is so vast that an expression of love between the two of you. Plus, do you think he's going to be a McDonalds worker forever? He's going to want to move up in his career, and he won't be able to take you with him. I'm sorry.
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well first of all this is illegal. you are way to young (trust me i'm about your age) and you shouldn't be going out with someone that much older than you! if he is flirting with you and showing all these signs that you say he is, then you need to stop seeing him because that is creepy and messed up. i'm sorry because i know this isn't something you really want to hear but this is true. what would someone who has already graduated from high school want from someone who is in junior high or just a freshman? you really need to get out of this before there are horrible consequences. please listen to me because i'm telling the truth. i'm not saying that he will definitely do something, but it is very likely that he will, and you don't want to even chance something like this.
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I am also 13 years old. And unless you would like to end up on Channel 2 action news, i strongly suggest that you leave this man alone. i am pretty sure that your mom loves you and wouldn't want ANYTHING to happen to you.
Plus this man could just be leading you on. (making you think he likes you, but he doesn't.)
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i believe you love him
but i also believe that you need to stop this right now regardless
like everyone else has said, it is illegal, as well as unsafe
I am 14, my older sister is 20
I couldnt imagine her getting with any of my friends, or me being with any of hers.
It is just creepy.
If anything happens, it is compeletly illegal, and he will go to jail for rape, even if you want it.
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Dude, he's too old, he works at McDonalds, and he flirts with 13 year olds. That kind've makes him a loser as well as a pervert. If you do anything with him sexually its illegal. Don't go to the movies with him unless you go with another friend. Find someone nearer your age who's actually worth your attention.
It would be a different answer if this guy was your age. If he was your age I would say, wait for him to say it first.
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illegal. and no affence, find someone your own age, and that doesnt work at a slaughtering job =]
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ok..so i would deffinatly not go..my sister was 15 and the guy she loved was 29..and he did the same thing..he made her head over heals--then rapped her..so id think twice about this
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haha this one got alot of advice in such a short time
but thats illegal.. and i dont think you should go to the movies with him cause if you do anything sexual with him (which he may try cause older guys do that) then he will get arrested.. so thats not gonna be a good idea
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ok not to sound mean or anything but you are 13 and he is 20 and if anyone tells you to open up then they are stupid.I know they say age doesn't matter and it is only a number but in this case you should really think it though. he is 20 and still working ast McDonalds, not to sounf mean but that nothing to bring home to mom and dad. I think you should find someone your own age. because you can do way better then at 20 year old working at Mcd's!
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The people actually telling you to go with this guy and open up to him are fools. I highly doubt you are in love with a 20 y.o. but i also don't know you and i cant tell you truthfully. But if a 20 y.o. is flirting with a 13 y.o. and wants to go out with you. He is doing it for the wrong reason and you dont want to get involved with him. Its very much illegal and if your parents found out they could report him in a heart beat.
kimm
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I know that you have already heard this about 20 times and that this isn't want you want to hear, but dating a 20 year old is not a good idea. I know that you have become a teen and you feel mature, but you are not ready for a relationship with a 20 year old. Like many other people have said, 20 year old men only have one thing on their mind. If you two were to become sexually involved then he could be charged and go to jail, even if you wanted to be involved with him. On the subject of love, I have a feeling that you are not as you say "madly in love", but you simply have feelings of infatuation for him. Infatuation can often be mistaken for love and is very common among girls of your age group.
I know that you don't want to hear this, but you have to open your eyes. You are only 13, you are still basically a child and he is a full-grown man. If you two were to have a relationship it would not be healthy or normal at all. Please listen to the warnings that we have given you and realize that we are saying these things because we do not want anything bad to happen to you.
To answer your actual question, don't tell him that you love him and don't be surprised if he never says that he does. If he is a decent person he won't tell you that he loves you and if he does tell you that then you need to bolt. I'm not saying that you have to stop being around him all together, but you need to be careful and never, NEVER go anywhere with him alone and without telling someone exactly where you are and have a way to get in touch with someone in case something goes wrong.
I understand what it is like to have feelings for an older man, when I was 13 I thought I was "in love" with a 25 year old, as years have gone by I now realize that it was just infatuation and I am so glad that I never did anything about it. Please take our warnings seriously. I really hope I helped. Good luck.
Love, Rainbow
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Last time I checked, that's definetely illegal.
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I wouldn't go to the movies with him period, much less tell him that you love him. You can say age is just a number all you want but not when you're 13 and he's 20. You're still in middle school and he graduated high school like what, 2 years ago?
When a 20-year-old is interested in a 13-year-old it's almost ALWAYS for all the wrong reasons. Do NOT get yourself involved with this guy. I know him might seen so cool to you, especially when he's giving you all this attention but it's because he expects something back.
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Personally, my advice is to try to find some other fabulous guy who can get your mind off of this one because, though he may be amazing, there are surely guys out there closer to your age who can sweep you off your feet. If you think it's possible for you to stay friends without getting more attached, maybe go for that. Otherwise, maybe you should make a few less trips to McDonald's from now on. :)
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that's illegal! do not tell him that you love him. chances are that he just wants a younger girl. you could get in some trouble doing this. tell someone close to you about this person.
hope i helped = ]]
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no, no, no! thats illegal! there is a good chance to that you do not LOVE him you just have a huge crush on him or are obsessed with him. do not tell him you love him. he is 20 and you are 13. there's better fish in the sea. hope i helped ♥ terri
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eewww dating him is like illegal. if he kisses you or you kiss him, you could both get arrested. also, why would you love a 20 y.o that works at mcdonalds. he obviously wont have a good job, and hes poor.
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no offense, but why would a 20 year old love a 13 year old??
and since you're only 13, i don't really think you know what love really is.
and i'm sorry, but if you say that to him and he loves you back and tries to do something to you, that would be considered child molester.
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first of all thats kinda like rape second of all im sure hes not well adjusted or w.e cuz he works at McDonalds third of all he works at McDonalds
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Sorry ; boo.
Thats illegal.
This can be considered sexual assault if you do anything with him.
He can be considered a child molester.
You being 13; cannot have a relationship with anyone over the age of 18. You cannot until you turn 18. I'm just telling you what the law says. So your best bet is to stay away from him and tell someone. thats just creepy like what normal 20 year old guy likes a 13 year old. Why can't he get someone his own age? There must be a reason. Stay away from him for your own good.
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Am I mistaken, or was this exact same question not asked here a couple months back..........?
Anyway, whether it was or not, here's my answer to it. DO NOT DATE HIM. A normal "well adjusted"(w/e that means) 20 year old does not want to date a thirteen year old, however mature she may be. It is unfortunately possible that he wants to date someone that young because he feels that they will be less able to take care of themselves than someone older, and will therefore be more likely to give in to any sexual requests. I'm not saying that's for certain, but it's a pretty good guess. Either that, or he just likes young girls, which is unhealthy.Emotional control is just as damaging as sexual.
In addition, remember this: he could get in trouble for dating you. While it is technichally legal for a couple of ANY age to DATE(you could be 8, him 45, and it would be legal as long as there was no sexual involvement)it would be frowned upon(and rightly so) by people in your town. My best advice to you is to keep silent on the subject of love. I would really be happier if you blew him off for the movies, but I quite understand why you wouldn't want to do that. Please don't think I'm judging you-I prefer older men as well so I fully undersatnd where you're coming from. I do however feel that his motives probably wouldn't bear too close an investigation. So yeah, go to the movies if you must, but no more than that, and do let someone know exactly where you're going and when.
Do take care, and drop a message in my inbox to let me know how everything's going.
Take care, good luck
Lucretia xx(IM address lucrece_13@hotmail.com).
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when yout tell somebody you love them for the firt time- its not something you plan out beforehand- its something that you jsut do- without thinking. when i was talknig to my boyfriend on the pohne late on night when i was on vacation- we atrted talknig about family issues that i had had and about my dad. he tried to comfort me, and make me stop crying- but instead- i came out of nowhere and just sed- "i dont know how youre going to take this- but i love you". needless to say he took it very well, and weve been dating now for over a year. now doesnt that sound a whole lot more romantic than planning it out at the movies? good luck ,and i hope i helped!
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are you kidding, he's 20, your 13, the is no love here buddy, he probly only wants sex, he probly a petafile. you should be involed at less with some who is your own age. so please be smart. he is way to old for you, so do the smart thing and not date him, and be on your guard, amd may the force be with you.
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Im not gonna beat around the bush like previous people have done. im a 24 yer old male and ever since i turn 15 i have had a one track mind. It is common knowledge that all guys need and hope for sex. In my opinion 13 year olds should not be dating anyone let alone a 20 year old man who has nothing in his mind other than sex. I understand you might feel like you love him, however you need to realize that for every action there is a reaction and in most places if a 20 year old man dates a 13 year old girl, i believe the term used is statutory rape. Do both of you guys a favour and give up on your "love " quest....and if you really need to love someone, get some one your age.
on a side note, about 3 weeks ago in my hometown, this 21 year old guy was given a 3 year sentence in federal prision for having sex with a 14 year old girl...do the math avoid everyone the headaches...be smart about everything you do in life
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I dont' think a 20 yr old is too good for you at 13 to be hanging out with, but on the question you asked.... I read once that the way you should be saying I Love you - is when you're saying "i love you too" (see what I mean... let them say it first)
Just because you don't like the advice you asked for doesn't mean it's wrong.
Please give us all an update this week!!!!
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You don't love him. You're only 13, you don't know what love is. There is a SEVEN year age difference between you and this man, trust me, you don't love him, and if he "loves" you back, chances are he's a pedofile. You cannot date him, its ILLEGAL. Hate to break it to you, but all this is true. Sometimes you have to face the facts that you don't want to hear.
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Whatever you do, be careful. An older man going for a younger girl usually has ulterior motives. He might be thinking of you as a little sister, so that could be why he's huggy and flirty.
Don't let anything happen that you don't want to happen, be assertive, and just be careful!
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dude....uhm really it's not such a good idea to fall for a 20 year old guy! but uhm okay so you do like a 20 year old guy unusuall things happen :-) uh yeah i would just talk to him and admit how you feel but really dont be disapointed if he's gonna make fun of you or something cause as i was saying he's 20! can you imagine yourself , 20 years old falling in love with a 13 year old boy? i dont think so....well okay uhh sorry i dont think that was a answer you wanted to hear but i'm just saying whats best!
loads of luck though :-)
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Even if he does care for you, if he tries to have a relationship with you he isn't a very good person.
A good person would know that a crush is fine, but that a twenty year old could cause a lot of damage to you and would inevitably be taking advantage of a you. That is why it's illegal, in every state. In some states he could even, just for kissing or touching a thirteen year old, be put on trial as a pedophile.
If you tell him you love him and your crush has any decency at all he will back off.
If he doesn't have any decency, he will use your feelings try to drag you into an adult relationship you aren't ready for.
When you are an adult, seven years isn't such a big deal, but when you are teen, seven years is huge! Can you imagine dating a six year old? Of course not! What the hell do you have in common with a six year old? If you did try to date a six year old you could seriously mess them up because they just aren't ready for the stuff that you know and can do.
There is no in-between or compromise here. He can't shrink to thirteen and you can't become twenty over night. You live in different worlds and if you try to play in his, you will get very badly hurt.
Go ahead and crush away, but accept your love in happening in a fantasy world that doesn't exist, and you can't make it exist.
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I wonder why people are actually telling you to do this.
You do know it is considered illegal right? I think you need to rethink your "feelings" for him. I doubt they are truly "love" because of age. Now don't get me wrong, some people can actually have love then and have it be true love, but it takes alot of maturity for that. The rest of teenagers "love" is really just puppy love or lust, not true love.
I would still advice you to rethink your feelings for him and really think about it. Because you really need to.
I'm just being honest.
-Ryan
*edit* I answered your question, you just heard something you didn't want to hear. Good luck with your "relationship" because I am betting how long it will last before your caught and he gets in trouble.
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I think that if truely love him you need to let him know just go for it and let him know that you have strong feelings for him and that you really love him...
P.S. take your relationship slowly going out with an older guy like that..well good luck
~Dominicangrl
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i would just open up to him but some people wouldnt do that,
so it depend on what ur heart says if u like him that much open up
rockin_samsam
rocking out
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