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Hey. I'm Isabella. I'm the best advice giver out there, so ask me tons of questions and keep me busy. I love all of you.

advice

Okay, well I'm 13/f turning 14 in july

This question is regarding my birthday party...my parents are allowing me a sleepover and i'm going to bring a few friends to an amusement park for the day. The problem is, the park admission is $20 per person and obviously that would be a large amount of money for my 4-5 friends, then my family, and me. I want my friends to pay for it, but what is a polite way to put it on the invitations? I was thinking a good way to go might be to write on there "instead of a gift, admission to the park is $20." or something of that sort. What do you guys think? Thx very much =] And yeah my bday is a month from yesterday (6/14) so I don't need the answers urgent... (like, tomorrow.) I dunno if that matters on here or what, but ok I'll stop talking now haha.

What you said was a really good way to put it. You could also say something like, "Do not bring a gift just $20 to get into the amusement park." It's pretty much the same thing, I just put it in different words. If you're looking for a good amusment park, a good one is Six Flags! I bet you already have one in mind, but I just thought I would give you an idea.

If you need more help just ask!

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I have a guy friend that is one of my best friends.
Lets call him "J". He talks to me any chance he gets, always tries to make me laugh, if his friend flirts with me he always freaks out and says STOP FLIRTING WITH HER, he calls me A LOT, he stares at me, his best friend always asks me if I like "J". He asked me for my number once and he asked for my screen name. He almost asked me to the dance but when after a minute of me not responding when he said, "will you go to the dance with me" he quickly said "just kidding." and I'm pretty sure that he wasn't, Everyone always says that me and him should go out and that he likes me

PS. You give GREAT advice!!

Well, it seems to me like he likes you. He's definitely flirting with you so he has to like you even if it's the slightest bit. If you like him too I think you should make a move on him. You could invite him to the movies or something. Or if you don't want to do it in person you could pass him a note that says "do you like me because I like you." That would be really cute. So if you guys are already friends then you're ready to take it to the next level. If you want him to ask YOU out, then you will have to give him BIG hints that you like him. Like touching him a little and saying I love you but just in a playful way. Don't wait too long because I've been in a situation like this, and I waited too long to show any emotion so the guy just moved on and has a girlfriend now. So whatever you do, whether you ask him out or if you wait for him to ask you out, you have to do it fast! I'm guessing you're at the end of the school year now. You should do it before the last day of school because you guys won't be able to talk to eachother anymore.

If you need more assistance just ask another question...

~Bella

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what are some REALLY REALLY good books for teen girls. i dont want just a light fluffy book. i want it to have like a really good story n stuff. thanks!

I suggest the Clique Series. I'm not sure if you're into that kind of stuff, but it's definitely for teens. The series is up to date and you can relate to a lot of stuff such as drama, liking boys, backstabbing friends, having cliques, IMs, cell phones, being rich or poor and all of that kind of stuff. I'm not a big reader, but as soon as I picked up one of those books I couldn't put it down. I've only read the first three books in the series, so from what I've read they keep you on the edge of the chair and wanting more.

I would also reccomend the Princess Diaries series. Those are a bit longer and not as "up-to-date" but they are really fun to read. I've read them all and it's difficult to tell you what happens in them without giving it all away so I can't give you much further detail! But heres a website that tells you about some of the books in the series... http://www.teenreads.com/reviews/princess-diaries.asp

For more choices, just go to your local library and ask the librarian for suggestions. I told the librarian what kind of books I liked and that's how I started reading The Clique series. And ever since then I've been hooked.

If you have more questions, feel free to ask in my inbox.

~Bella

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Hey, I really neeed a new s/n can someone help me?
I dont want anything gurly-ish. More punk-ish.

brown eyed angel
ROCK FANATiC x3
broken angel x
rock MY ANTi DRUG
rocker girl 14
rock my world x3
mudvayne is love
RAWR rap sucks
x fallen angel x
pandas are rad
lil rocker 87

Well, those are 11 choices. Sorry I couldn't think of more! If you don't like them you can always take a few ideas and mix them around and take stuff out or change the numbers! I tried my best. Good luck on getting a screen name.

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So this weekend I have a hockey tournament and Im playing 6 games in 2 days. But thats not the problem. It takes 1 hour to play a hockey game and I will be playing 2 games with only 10 minutes of down time. Yeah, and its tiring to play! I'm going to do this 3 times--- 2 games on friday, 4 on sunday with 10-20 minutes of downtime between each pair. OK. thats not making sence. But all I know is that my coach told me to get energy drinks. Which are really good ones that work pretty fast, like within 1 hour or so? I'll RATE!
Thanks
Cat

Red Bull is the best. I reccomend it. End of story.

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sorry if its under the wrong category, but i need a little clarification on the dating bases. i have an idea but i want to know each one specificly. like first is make out and im unsure about 2nd and 3rd. so help me out. thanks in advance!

First base is making out or french kissing.

Second base is touching/feeling body parts & maybe even fingering.

Third base is oral sex like giving head & all of that other good stuff.

Home is obviously sex.

Hope this helps! ♥

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Hey i want to get a new AIm screen name but i dont know what to put..... my name is Ali my fav number is 5 and color Pink store American Eagle.... if you can give me ideas that would be great..
thanx

AE hottie x
PRETTY iN PiNK
ali loves youu x
RAWR its ali
AE is love
pink pearls xx
ali at the disco
x dressed in pink
AE princess
AWESOME ali x5
OhSnapItsAli
a l i x333

that's all i could think of. hope i helped!

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hi - ok so i really like this guy. he lives like down the road from me, and we have gone out before. we dont go to the same school, so when we went out it was hard to see each other b/c we are both involved in sports. when we went out we both cheated on eachother, and since we never saw eachother - we just thought it was best to break up. btw, i was his first gf, first kiss, first like everything. this was all in february. now its june, and i want a new chance at him. he says that he likes me, but not enough for us to go out. he told me hes scared that if we go out, he will sqrew things up for us. bc i like him more than he likes me. i really want a second chance with him. do i deserve it? what can i do to convince him to be with me? should i move on? how? please help. i rate high

deffinitely don't go out with him. he basically hinted that he was going to screw things up again. and like i always say, once you two break up you could go back out with him 100 more times, but your relationship would always end up the same way - over. it seems like he doesn't want to go out with you, so i would find another guy that cares for you. there's plenty of more guys, you just have to look for them.

hope i helped.

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Water Pollo Or Color Gaurd

.Which one requires more time?
.Which one is more popular in school? (my friend wanted me to ask this, so i am not trying to ask for me, but for her)
.Which one requires more strength?
.Which one is better for gaining muscle?

Hev

1. They both require a lot of practice & getting ready just like any sport would.

2. The Color Guard's are geeks at my school, but it might be different at other schools. But I think Water Polo is more popular at most schools.

3. Water Polo.

4. Water Polo makes you gain a lot of muscle and it's good for keeping fit. Color guard isn't bad either, but you'd gain more muscle in Water Polo.

Well, you can tell that Water Polo seems like the best choice, but it really depends on your interests.

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okay well i know that when guys get their cartalige pierced, that one side means they're gay and another side means their straight. well i have 2 questions::
1. which is which?
and 2. does it matter for girls and what side is the 'right" side because i just got my cartalige pierced adn the lady made me pick my own side because she said that it didnt matter..soo yeah 5's for anything that helps. thanks.

I know the right side means your gay for guys. But I don't think there is straight/gay side for girls. 3 of my friends that are girls have theirs on their left. So if you're unsure, you could just get it on the left side.

Hope I helped! &heats;

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13/f

I hate myself. I look at myself in the mirror and just want to fricken cut myself, but I won't cut, thats just how I feel. I hate how I look. People are like your perfect weight, but I feel like I won't ever be pretty unless I have a completely flat stomach and muscular theighs. I just can't seam to accept myself. I've been told I'm pretty and stuff. It's just I see all these other girls with perfect hair and skin and I feel ugly! Then, I see these girls w/ all these hot guys, and it makes me feel like I'll never have that. I'm really sad. I don't really have anyone to talk to about it. I don't wanna talk to my parents. I only have one friend who I would talk to but he just tells me to go see a therapist or get antidepressants. I just can't seam to feel happy. So my question is, has any girls or guys gone through this and tell me tips on how to feel better. thanks..

Hun we've all been through this. I didn't go through it as bad as you did, but I know how you feel. I think the best way to get over it is to go to a therapist. Your friend is right. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I'm just telling you the truth. Rate me low if you want, but I'm just hitting you with some knowledge.

It's one thing to look at yourself and say "Ughh my hair looks terrible today," but when you're always complaining about something and always comparing yourself to the hot girls, that's when it gets out of hand. What category are you in? From what you wrote, it seems like you're in the second category.

You have to build confidence. Everyone builds self esteem differently, so I can't tell you how to like yourself. That's what a therapist does. I think you should atleast try going to a therapist, what do you have to lose? You could even go to a guidance counselor in your school. Something needs to be done. Cutting isn't normal and if you want to cut yourself over your appearence, then you need to get help. I'm not saying this in a bad way, I'm just telling you what needs to be done before it's too late.

Rate me low if you want, but just to let you know, I'm telling you the downright truth. I'm not going to give you some corny response and treat this situation like it's nothing. There needs to be a lot of action taken in this siutation.

God Bless You.

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is it okay that my boyfriend is 3 years older than me? I'm 13 and he's 16 is that bad?

No, that's not bad at all. Actually, my boyfriend is 2 years older than me. From experience, it seems like the older guys are more fun to be with and less stubborn.

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Is there anything that i can eat every day to loose weight?
I tried the cereal thing, but it doesnt work at all!
Please help!

Hev

Things to eat -
Fruits and veggies. (I think you know what they are.)
Salad.
Vegetable soup.
Grilled chicken. NOT fried.
Frozen grapes are good snacks and taste soo good.

Things NOT to eat/drink -
Cookies candy donuts and other junk food.
Butter.
Soda.
Oily and fatty foods.
Fast food.

My mind kind of went blank, but I tried to help my best. Also, if you want more food choices, type in "healthy foods" on google.

Here are some websites with healthy foods.
http://www.whfoods.com/
http://kidshealth.org/kid/stay_healthy/food/pyramid.html

Hope I helped. ♥

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man there's this "click" at my school that i'm not apart of and lets just say their names are tina and megan. they think they own everything they come up with! i mean like they put their name like this .name*. i mean just because they use that does it mean it belongs to them? they're calling me a biter just because my cousin changed my sn on my myspace and on my msn! now they keep on harassing me about it! i mean me and tina used to be best of friends until 6th grade when she started hanging out with 7b girls. and megan doesn't even know me that well. she is such a bitch! i don't mean to be rude but like it's just what she is! what should i do? i mean they think they own everything they start using! like they got mad at my close friend just cause she started using a bag from LeSportsac. is it right that they torment the people who aren't in their "click"? what should i do? should i tell them to back off? or should i tell them taht everything they use isn't just for them? i seriously need some advice!
i'll give a rating of 5 for anything

don't even waste your time talking to them about it. they're not worth your time. i know a bunch of kids like that who i "thought" were my friends, and i learned the hard way that you shouldn't even bother explaining how you feel because it will probably just backfire and the best thing to do is to just stop talking to them. delete them off your friends list on myspace and block them on your AIM screen name. it's really the best thing to do. if you don't talk to them, drama can't start. i'm sure you have a lot of nicer friends because you seem like an incredible person so i'm sure you're good friends with tons of other class mates. hang out with different people and don't even worry about those other girl's clique. megan and tina obviously arn't your friends at all so don't even bother trying to get in their clique. you will learn that people like that have something wrong with them. clique's are really stupid and they make people feel hurt and left out. just don't let those 2 girls get to you because you're way better than them.

hope i helped and if you have any more questions or concerns feel free to ask another question in my inbox!

*isabella

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me and my boyfriend are expecting a baby in february. we are obviously not married- but im wondering if when it comes, will it obtain my last name or his?- i was thnking itd have to be mine- since hes not really my spouse- but is there any way can request that it has his last name if needed?

You can pick whatever name you want. You should discuss it with your boyfriend if you're having a hard time choosing. But if you and you're boyfriend break up, then you're kinda screwed if you know what I mean, so I would probably give it your last name if you want to be on the safe side. But it's your choice!

Hope I helped

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what is a good amount of money per hour

if i dont really know the kids except that that they are a sister of a family friend

and that the daughter is 2 and the son is 7

I would guess about $6 or $7 an hour. Those numbers are somewhere in the middle of what people usually charge. Those kids are pretty young, especially the 2 year old so you're going to have to do a lot of work and keep them occupied. Maybe you could let the parents decide and let them choose whether to give you $6 or $7. Don't go any less than that though.

Have fun!

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what do each of the bases stand for?

like first through home and whatever...as far as like what base a girl and a guy are on?

It might be a little gross so bare with me.

First Base - Kissing (Making out)
Second Base - Touching boobs and private areas WITH clothing on.
Third Base - Oral sex and touching body parts WITHOUT clothes.
Home - Sex.

Hope I helped. ♥ ♥

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My friends say I'm pretty, but it seems like boys pay no attention to me. I've been told by at least 3 different guys that I thought were pretty cool that they just see me as a friend. I haven't been out with anyone in over two years, or even kissed a boy. I feel pretty nervous sometimes around certain boys (not because I like them - because it's pretty obvious that they don't like me but to be honest I don't mind). It just seems like I'm unfanciable.

Am I always going to be just a mate to all guys?

Wow, it seems like I wrote this!! I have the exact same problem! Every guy I like tells me I'm awesome but they just want to be friends. It's really annoying, and I deffinitely know how you feel. It's actually hard to answer this question, because you never know if a boy will come into your life and love you as much as you love him. But I believe that everyone has a guy that is "the one" for them, but for some people it takes longer to find that guy than others. You just have to hold your head up high, be confident and don't worry because one day, both me and you will find "Mr. Right." It might take 5 years to meet him, but he's coming. Don't dread over this because you have your whole life to get a boyfriend and to fall in love. You can't make any one like you because it's impossible. Just keep praying to God, and he will lead you to the guy of your dreams. There's almost a billion guys in the world, so someone out there has to love you.

Hope I helped. ♥

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In the Bible doesn't it say that we shouldn't pray aloud to show off? That instead we should pray in the privacy of our own room? (not the exact words) If that is so then why do people go to church? I'm christain but I don't believe that going to church makes a difference in how we are seen in God's eyes. Everyone pressures me to go to church saying that it will "lead me in the right direction" but I don't think it matters if I go to church or not.


Does it matter?

I'm catholic and I go to church but in my opinion, I think going to church is a choice that you make. I feel like if you don't go to church that does NOT make you a bad person. It's not like if you don't go to church you won't be obeying God's rules. If you don't go to church but you still honor and worship god and pray as often as you can, then you're still a holy person and you won't go to hell. A lot of people that are Christian don't go to church but they are still religious. As long as you are still obeying God's laws, then you have nothing to worry about. Going to church or not is a choice that you make. A lot of people go to church because it's God's home and it's like a weekly tradition. Some people decide that they don't need to go to church because they can still pray to God at home. Either decision you make is fine, so if you don't want to go to church every week that's perfectly fine - a lot of people don't. But make sure you still pray.

Hope I helped. ♥ ♥

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i've read a lot of your advice and i like what i hear so i thought that you could help me. i always hear people saying that guys like girls who are confident. but the problem is that i am really really shy. so what can i do to become more confident with myself?

I got this stuff from websites so here's some good ways to be more confident. http://ezinearticles.com/?Become-More-Self-Confident&id=10267 http://www.youmeworks.com/confidencewithpeople.html
http://www.mentalhelp.net/psyhelp/chap14/chap14d.htm


1. Follow your strengths. Self-confidence comes from being the best “you” possible. It doesn’t come from trying to be someone else. It is the result of following paths like these:

• Do what comes naturally.

• Develop your talents.

• Follow your convictions.

You see, if we just use a synonym for confident, the way becomes obvious. One of its synonyms is “certain.” And it is true that you feel confident wherever you have a lot of certainty. Think about it. For a teenage boy who wants to talk to a girl he likes, he may feel very awkward and not confident at all. But if he knew a lot about computers, and she was having a problem with a computer and asked his help, he could help her and feel confident doing so. Why? Because he would know what he was talking about. People feel confident when they are certain.

Therefore, wherever you would like to feel confident, develop more certainty about it. And I don’t mean an attitude of certainty, I mean to develop real honest-to-goodness, actual certainty.

If, for example, you have to get up and speak to a group next week and you don’t feel confident about it, start working to develop some degree of certainty: Talk to the people you need to talk to and find out who will be there and what they are expecting, and then prepare thoroughly. The more you prepare, rehearse, talk about what you will say to your friends, make notes, do research, the more certain you will be and the more confident you will feel.

As another example, a shy person might feel a lack of confidence meeting new people. When she’s introduced, she feels like running away. This is very common. Why? Because a new person is — by definition — unknown. Our shy person is not certain about anything except the person’s name (and if she is too distracted by her nervousness, she’ll quickly lose her certainty about that too).

It is becoming clear that building self-esteem isn't just silencing the unreasonable internal critic, accepting your faults, and emphasizing your good traits. The healthy, confident, efficacious person assumes responsibility for his/her life. The self becomes a change agent, a self-helper. The task is to realize the self-improvements you could make, to know how to make changes, and to feel confident about your self-help ability. And...

Coopersmith (1967) suggested that high self-esteem requires two things: setting high goals and some success in reaching your goals. In other words, you must DO SOMETHING. Contrary to popular opinion, self-esteem in children is not related to good looks, being tall, mother being at home, and social or economic status of the family. Kids who like themselves had parents who set high standards (yes, expected politeness and housework, not "do your own thing"), showed respect for the child (democratic decision-making where everyone is heard) and showed love (not necessarily overtly but in terms of caring about "how things are going"). You can't change the past but you can talk to yourself. You can say such things as "don't be lazy just because you were pampered as a child." You can DO SOMETHING!

If you assume responsibility for improving your life, if you learn to have more control over your life, and if you put in time and effort on good causes, you will like yourself better and others will admire you. So, in a sense, all self-help enhances self-esteem. Conversely, self-esteem facilitates self-help (Bandura, 1977b). For instance, good students feel responsible for doing well while poor students blame teachers, the school, or the tests (Coleman, 1966). Chapter 6 gives several specific suggestions for countering feelings of inferiority. At the very least, ask yourself "what do I fear doing that I would like to do?" Then imagine overcoming that fear and make plans to develop these skills.

Think of it this way. In addition to getting better at what you are doing now, i.e. in your current life style, you might need to diversify. For example, when a person specializes or concentrates too intensely, as some say "putting all your eggs in one basket," there is a risk of feeling and being adequate in only one way. (Perhaps persons who feel inadequate tend to find a niche and stay there.) For instance, a mother devotes herself exclusively to raising the family but feels useless and lonely when the nest is empty; a secretary devotes her life to her job but realizes in her 50's that she has given up too much for $1000 a month; a manager works 70 hours a week but finds out later that his efforts and the programs developed were not really appreciated; the athlete who is a star in high school or college discovers he has no career skills and few are impressed with his previous stardom. Perhaps all of us need several ways to feel good about ourselves, ways to further build our self-esteem and to prepare for the future. Make sure your life goals are ethical and an expression of your true self.

STEP SIX: Write a list of your more important positive traits. Repeat them frequently with feeling.

Many of us are afraid to brag, even to ourselves. But we need to know our strengths. Make a list of your good traits, using the list of positive and negative characteristics from step 3 (also include the strengths you added to your list of weaknesses). Make the list as complete as possible. What good traits do your friends, your parents, your teachers, your idols have? Do you have some of those traits too? If so, add them to your list. No one needs to see your list, put down everything you like about yourself, everything that is good. If you have difficulty thinking of positive traits, this may mean you have an overwhelmingly severe critic. Ask your friends for suggestions.

Write several simple positive statements about yourself. Examples: "I care for my family and friends; I'm loving and giving" or "I'm fun to be with, people enjoy me" or "I'm a serious student preparing for life." Repeat statements like these, which are true of you, several times a day, perhaps followed by a reward. Put your positive traits on cards and stick them up where you will see them often. When relaxing, spend 10 minutes thinking about specific incidences in which you were good in the past and fantasize about situations in which you could use your good traits again in the future. All of these methods accentuate your positive features. What is most important is that you remember the positive when the internal critic attacks you.

• Express your own style.

2. Plan ahead. Many people are surprised to hear that self-confidence comes from something as ordinary as planning. But think about it; let’s say you are going on a job interview, almost always an anxiety-producing experience. When you are prepared, you feel more confident.

3. Take action. Confidence comes from taking action. Break your challenge down into small steps and take that first step, no matter how small it seems.

4. Study. The more you know about your subject, the more confident you will feel. In fact, the lack of self-confidence almost always stems from a lack of information. We’ve all had that sick feeling that we don’t fully understand what we are talking about.

5. Act the part. The following tips will help you begin to present yourself in a positive way.

• Find a role model. Look for someone who is already successful in your field. Observe him or her and identify for yourself what behaviors convey self-confidence.

• Look and act powerful. Watch people who create a powerful impression. It could be a TV anchor, a character in a movie, or a coworker. Imagine yourself behaving in a similar way. For an example, watch the movie Top Hat. Fred Astaire exudes confidence.

• Be aware of nonverbal behavior that detracts from presenting yourself with confidence. Ask for feedback from a trusted friend or watch yourself on videotape.

6. Rehearse for success. One of the most important ways to boost your self-confidence is by rehearsing important conversations and presentations. You can never be too prepared. These ideas will help you practice so that you really understand your subject:

• Manage your anxiety. Feeling anxious is normal when you are in a challenging situation. The key is learning to manage anxiety so it doesn’t paralyze you or diminish your effectiveness.

• Get organized. When your materials are prepared and well-organized, you will feel better about your ability to access them. Having information scattered in too many places makes you feel out of control and undermines your self-confidence.

7. Persist. Self-confidence is the result of a lot of hard work. The process takes time. It has been said that success is 99% persistence and 1% talent.

8. Enjoy your success. When you reach your goal, don’t forget to give yourself credit for working hard. Be proud of what you’ve accomplished. Here are some ways you can do this:

• Look in the mirror and say to yourself, “Good work. I’m proud of you.”

• Think of a way to reward yourself.

• Tell others about your success.

• Write yourself a letter or explore your accomplishment in your journal.

• Draw a picture expressing your achievement.

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