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ah!!!
13/f
I hate myself. I look at myself in the mirror and just want to fricken cut myself, but I won't cut, thats just how I feel. I hate how I look. People are like your perfect weight, but I feel like I won't ever be pretty unless I have a completely flat stomach and muscular theighs. I just can't seam to accept myself. I've been told I'm pretty and stuff. It's just I see all these other girls with perfect hair and skin and I feel ugly! Then, I see these girls w/ all these hot guys, and it makes me feel like I'll never have that. I'm really sad. I don't really have anyone to talk to about it. I don't wanna talk to my parents. I only have one friend who I would talk to but he just tells me to go see a therapist or get antidepressants. I just can't seam to feel happy. So my question is, has any girls or guys gone through this and tell me tips on how to feel better. thanks..
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
i used to want to cut myself to because i thougt i was just really ugly so i asked my friends what to do and they took me shopping for clothes and makeup that made me feel pretty.
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Hun we've all been through this. I didn't go through it as bad as you did, but I know how you feel. I think the best way to get over it is to go to a therapist. Your friend is right. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I'm just telling you the truth. Rate me low if you want, but I'm just hitting you with some knowledge.
It's one thing to look at yourself and say "Ughh my hair looks terrible today," but when you're always complaining about something and always comparing yourself to the hot girls, that's when it gets out of hand. What category are you in? From what you wrote, it seems like you're in the second category.
You have to build confidence. Everyone builds self esteem differently, so I can't tell you how to like yourself. That's what a therapist does. I think you should atleast try going to a therapist, what do you have to lose? You could even go to a guidance counselor in your school. Something needs to be done. Cutting isn't normal and if you want to cut yourself over your appearence, then you need to get help. I'm not saying this in a bad way, I'm just telling you what needs to be done before it's too late.
Rate me low if you want, but just to let you know, I'm telling you the downright truth. I'm not going to give you some corny response and treat this situation like it's nothing. There needs to be a lot of action taken in this siutation.
God Bless You.
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honey we all go through it most of us just keep it to our selves. but to make you feel better you have to find what makes you pretty and stop worrying bout what makes the next girl pretty. where all pretty in our own way so take what you have and flaunt it
(make the best out of it)
p.s im on a diet now because i feel this way so your not the only one
Jazzy**
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yeahh. in my opinion every girl goes through this. you just see how they look and think thats perfect what you need to learn what to do is see yourself as different and its good that your different you want to stand out not look exactly like everyone else. Yeahh i hate when i see girls with hott guys and im liek Damn ill never have that. yeahh it sucks. but just try to build up your self esteem. im sure your friends arent lieing to you when they say your pretty. i hope i helped
♥
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I currently am going through that same thing. I tried to resist cutting, but I did it anyway. I felt like I had no control over my life and whatever I wanted I wouldn't be able to get no matter how hard I tried (for example, my crush and certain friends getting mad at me for stupid reasons). These were things I couldn't talk to my friends about because I have MAJOR trust issues.
The first time it helped ALOT... but then all the times after that it didn't help; especially when my friends saw the cuts and they told everyone. When they did that I cut more until I realized soon that the reason I became even more depressed was BECAUSE of cutting, so I stopped 2 weeks ago.
Now I don't feel depressed because I have no control- now it's worse. I just feel depressed continuously and I think that is the side effect of cutting; once you stop, your happiness drowns.
Here is a metaforical phase of what cutting does to depression: Depression is a sickness in your blood. When you cut all of the sickness leaves you, but then when the bleeding stops, the sickness grows back even quicker inside of you.
Now that I once again have no outlet as I did before cutting, I think I am starting to lead to anorexia. Last week my friend had to practically force feed me a fry. Today I had a small yogurt, and thats all I plan eating.
SO MY ADVICE FOR YOU: Don't cut. No matter how good it feels the first time, that happiness only lasts for a few days- then it's gone. Try to always be around your friends and avoid being alone- cus then you have time to think about how screwed your life is and stuff.
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hi
i know its hard for you, believe me. just last friday, i found out that 2 of my friends cut themselves. doing things to yourself isn't the answer. one of my friends had the same problem as you. i know we all get envious of those we "think" are better than us. but we have to open our eyes and realize that we are all beautiful. all those other people don't matter. and besides what makes them so perfect anywayz? just because they may look like they have everything, they don't. some feel insecure like you. plus, you don't have to have a flat stomach and muscular thighs to be pretty. focus on your good features. no one is ugly. one fav saying that i think is inspiring is "no one can make you feel inferior without you consent" i know that at this age, all we think about is having boyfriends and being popular. but all that isn't important. what is? well being yourself and having fun with your true friends. and how do you know that u'll never have a boyfriend? u never know. i think you should talk to someone, you shouldn't be dealing with this by yourself. if you need more advice, please don't hesitate to ask me.
~***Victoria***~
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Oh i have been there and done that, i have finally learned to accept it though, because im sure you are beautiful the way you are hun, and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. i have also heard and believe you have to love and accept yourself before you can love and accept someone else, which makes pretty good sense right? also theres a guy out there for you who likes you because you are the way you are. i promise. try working out, that always makes my self esteem go higher and make me have a better opinion about myself, go running a few days a week to build the muscles up in your legs and then do some crunches or sit ups everynight.
hope i helped, if you need anything or want to talk further IM me or drop one in my inbox. you are beautiful the way you are i assure you that though, because everyone is beautiful in their own way. oh yeah even the "perfect" girls have some insecurity, they just dont let it show, because i also assure you no one is perfect. hope i made you feel a little better. take care. =D
♥BLAiR
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i kno just how you feel. i wouldnt go with anti depressants because they make you like zombies cuz you dont feel anything. and you get suicidal thoughts frequently. haha they really arent fun. but what i do is find something that makes me happy. like for me i play the guitar since i cant do anything else. one thing i id definatly recomend is try horseback riding. Horses never make you feel bad or anything and its really fun to horseback ride and stuff.
so ya, i hope this helps
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Yes I have gone through this before. It took me a long time actually accept me for me. Some days it's still hard, what I’ve learned is to not worry so much about looks but how you act. The people you hang out with and the people who make you feel good inside shouldn't care about how you look on the outside. Everyone has something wrong with themselves, some just don't show it. Not everyone is going to have the 'perfect' hair or the 'perfect' skin. The best thing to do is to hang out with people who make you feel great and to learn to accept yourself, even if that may be hard sometimes.
-Hope everything works out for the best-
~Sam
p.s. learn to accept compliments too, those should help boost your confidence, and if you don't accept them people may stop giving it.
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You are beautiful in your own way. Girls are usually jealous of others.. and I'm sure someone is jealous of you. Maybe they want your eyes, your hair, your body. Perfect skin? It's just what they want you to think. They probably use makeup.. but when you get older, you're hormones calm down so your face should get clearer. And perfect hair? Why don't you think your hair is perfect? :o If it bothers you, go see a hairdresser/stylist..and change your hair. :] New color? New cut? Don't be afraid to change something because usually it looks GREAT. Try to be outgoing and try to build up your confidence. Guys like that in a person. Just change your appearance...if it bothers you but don't do something as stupid as to hurt yourself. eating disorders and whatnot. Go to a makeup counter and see how they can make your eyes stand out, etc. Go to a spa, something. So many people go through this. You shouldn't feel ugly. Nobody is ugly. You should feel beautiful and be happy. It makes life easier. You don't need this extra thing on your mind. Be happy, talk to people, try to have fun.
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Ahh, I feel like that too! Well, not the cutting part, but chya.
Please don't cut yourself! It will make your skin even worse because of scars and stuff.
Plus, you're 13. You don't need a guy yet. Trust me, you don't.
If people say you're pretty then maybe they feel the way you feel about pretty people. Just take their word for it and don't give it a second thought.
Besides who are you trying to look pretty for? If a person is truly your friend then they won't care how you look, so you shouldn't worry.
Anyway, if you wanna talk on AIM or MSN just go to my advice column and my screen names are there.
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I don't know if this will comfort you at all, but I used to feel exactly the same way... and now I'm a very confident and happy person. There's hope for you too!
First of all: you're depressed. It's empowering to name our enemies, because it gives us something to study. Depression is your enemy, start reading about it so that you can learn how to beat it.
Realize that everyone around you is just as self-conscious as you are. Even those people who are the "perfect weight". Every 13 year old wants to look like or be someone else, and that's just silly. You don't even know who you are yet, so give yourself a chance! I used to always be embarrassed and self-conscious in a swimsuit until I realized that no one around me was ever going to judge me as harshly as I judged myself. Confidence is the key to getting almost anything you want. People are attracted to confident people, because it's something we all admire.
Your friend was right; therapy and antidepressants can help a lot. You may not even need medication if you start seeing a therapist. Being in therapy isn't as scary as you might imagine it... all you do is think and talk and sometimes answer questions. The therapist can help you find the roots of your depression and teach you ways to weed it out of your head, because depression and those feelings of inadequacy are all a state of mind. Therapists are great because they're totally objective people you can unload all those crappy feelings you have on, and it's their JOB to listen! Haha, but seriously they have lots of experience in helping sad people learn how to be happy. They might suggest anti-depressants for a while, and medicine is a great tool sometimes.
Fake it 'til you make it! PRETEND you're happy and confident. Every morning stand in the mirror and give yourself five compliments. Every time you're feeling like cutting yourself say (out loud) "I am a beautiful and happy person." Smile at strangers and be a pleasant person to be around. Positivity is a very powerful force. If you fill yourself with positive thoughts they will cleanse the darkness and gloom right out of you.
Also, find a hobby or an artistic outlet. Being interested in something will give you less time to be hating yourself. Stay active! Exercising releases endorphins in your body that make you feel happy and euphoric, it will also help you feel like you're in control of something in your life. Have fun and learn about interesting things. DO STUFF!
There is no quick fix to depression, so plan on working hard to defeat it. You can do it! Carollani believes that you're a worthwhile person that will take the steps you need to be happy. And give yourself a break, you're only 13! You have so much time to get what you want. Your skin will clear up, your hormones will level out, you will learn how to be confident, and the boys will be knocking down your door.
Start today and repeat after me: "I am fabulous!"
Carollani
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