about

Hey! My names Sam, I started my advice column awhile ago, but when my computer messed up I forgot all about it. Well now I'm back and still going to give everyone the best advice I can give. The advice that I give is the advice I would use on myself. Giving advice is one of my favorite things to do. If anyone wants to ask me something just drop a message in my mail and Iâ??ll gladly answer it the best way that I can. =)

advice

okay i know i havent said this before but i've been thinking about it a lot and i guess i just want some opinions or something.

so i've never lived with my parents...most kids who dont or something their parents arent very close by and if so not REALLY close. (just what i've heard about) anyway...i live with my grandmother and believe me i love her and all but i guess it bothers me how my parents dont have me living with then when they are the next house over...also they are still my legal guardians. which does not make sense to me because if my grandmother grew me up and everything why do my parents get to decide what i do i mean they dont even know anything about me my. yeah sure they buy me things and when i was little and sick my mom would come over but i never even spent one holiday at their house and im 13...weird? or no...
(ps: i've probably slept at their house 10 times in my whole life...if that)
~thanks - Rosemarie

In my opinion it is a little weird but if you really think about it maybe your parents feel they can't give you the greatest life. Yes they might live next door but maybe they don't know what to do, and you living with your grandmother, in their opinion, might be better. If you want to get closer to your parents, I suggest to ask them why you never lived with them.

~I'm sorry if this doesn't help, but I really do hope it helps, Even it it helps just a little bit.

~Sam =)

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My friends really think I've got mental problems! Not seriously, but it's getting out of hand. I have always been like a kid--- i still love cartoons, video games and i still talk like a kid when im not nervous; like if around my friends, Im completely myself. And thats always been a problem because whem Im myself, Im crazy and hyper. So lately, my friends and people i hardly know from my school are saying that I have a mental problem. I know it sounds dumb, but I hate it!
I told my friend that there is nothing wrong, and they all say they are just joking around when they say i have ADD or OCD, but the other people at my school dont know this. Sure, school is almost over, but I really dont want to continue with this stupid rumor! And I can't even set the record straight that I have no problem, because the rumor is based on how I act, which is kidishly. I really cant sit still or I play with things and I make up wacko words.
Is there a way to show, well sure, im not normal, but just not crazy? Thanks.
14/f

Many teenagers go through a time in their life where they're crazy and hyper most of the time, or just when they're around the people they trust the most (friends). Teenagers will always pass rumors around, most know that rumors are untrue. The best thing to do would probably just ignore the rumors. If you feel it really is a problem than go to a doctor about it. If you really don't want people thinking you're crazy anymore and you can't ignore the rumors than another thing to do would be to just be calm for a few days and when people start questioning just say that you can act 'normal' once in awhile, it's just boring.

~Hope this helped in any way. =)

~Sam

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I fancy this boy in my class and he knew i liked him but I think I have put him off me. Shall I just ask him or leave it?

Cheers

Hmm, do you know why or how you put him off you? If you don't you should figure that out first. If you still love him you should most definitely ask him, take chances, life is so much better when you take chances.

~Hope this helped; if you need any further advice just drop a line in my box again.

~Sam

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today, the kid i like said he was moving. so i started crying like crazy. (he already knows i like him) but he was just kidding. now i made an idiot out of myself and his friends will tell him and they'll laugh at me. he probably did to because he knew that i would cry. what should i do?

If you cried when he told you that he was moving it shows that you actually care for him. If his friends tell him, all you have to do is tell him that you cried because you really like him and you don't want him moving away.

-Hope this helps =)
~Sam

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It is pretty much impossible for me to empathize/understand people who believe in God and religion. I am fully against both of them, for a long list of reasons that I don't need to go in to. The deal is, people tell me I'm being sacreligous/a heretic/going to hell, but I can't understand where they're coming from AT ALL. To me evangelists and deeply religous people just seem like pitiful, misguided puppets of a nonexistent power. It tends to screw up my relationships with people.... Any advice?

The best advice I can give is that religion is a strong thing to some people. It's something they can hold onto, to keep them living in a way. If you don't believe in any of that, than don't listen to them. They're going by what they believe and understand, some people are just different and that's how it's always going to be.

-Hope this helps in any way possible!-
~Sam

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Dear Columnists,
I need help really bad. Last weekend I was at a sleepover with me and my 2 other friends. They are my best friends. I was talking to my -ex and he said that he liked my friend...(one of the ones that was sleeping over)They went out for a while and I cried the whole time. She broke up with him because she felt bad ad that she did want this kid to Jepordise our friendship. She is giving me time but I feel inside as I never want them to get back together...Even though I am being selfish. I still love him! We have been off and on for a little. What should I do?

Srry it was SO long.

I rate 5's for good answers!

PLEASE HELP!

The best thing to do is to tell your friend the truth about how you feel about this guy. See what she says, also you should tell the guy how you feel. Find out how he feels. It's not necessarily being selfish to not what your best friend and the guy you love to go out, because loving someone is a strong feeling and I know it can hurt to see someone else go out with him.

-I really do hope everything works out for the best!-
~Sam

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My best friend ALWAYS has to have all the guys like her. Well, if a guy likes me or shows any signs in liking me she will try to get him to like her. She brags about all her guys, and she tries to flirt with the guys that like me. Why does she do this? I can't talk to her. What should I do? I'll give 5's. Thanks. And if you have good advice I'll give you the name of my column so we can talk more. Xoxo

I know how it feels to have a friend do this to you, I used to go through the same thing everyday. One day I just got fed up with it and asked her to stop. She was mad but it ended up she didn't really realize what she was doing.

The best thing to do is to talk to her about it, remember she IS your friend; you should be able to talk to her about this. Tell her how you feel about her bragging about all the guys she has, and flirting with the guys she knows you like or that like you.

-Hope everything works out great!-
~Sam

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ok so we were in class one day, and this guy we'll call Joe and his partner were presenting their powerpoint. we dont have assigned seats so he usually sits next to me or in front of me and talks to me. so, the teacher was yelling at me for laughing/talking, wahtever. then he came back and was joking around with me for getting yelled at and he said, "yah, i had a hard time presenting. i kept looking at you." and i smiled and laughed a little and asked why, and he said, "i don't know. i just kept looking at you." he said it in a nice way. we flirt and talk a lot, but waht does he mean by saying this? ill rateee.

Possibly Joe likes you, if you like him try asking him. There's also a chance he was just kidding around to see what your response would be.

~Sam

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Ok so.... I despreatly need help. for graduation me and a friend were gonna go to L.A. and my parents wont let me go if my math grade is a c. and im really bad at math. and i just found out that were getting our final report cards mailed to us and it wont get there untill after were supposed to go there. so i need ideas to help me pursuuading my parents to let me go even if they dont know what my grades are. so yeah please answer if you have any ideas.

The best way to get your parents to let you go if you get a C in math is to tell them that you did your best and that you at least passed the class and grade.

If that doesn't work you can always promise to do some extra work around the house or saying you'll pay for some of it (if that would help any.)

-Hope this helps in any way. =)-
~Sam

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well i love this kid from my class,i havent told anyone. he is so perfect, i mean that isnt why i like him, i like him because our personalities clash so well. and sometimes i see him looking at me, but idk if its because i have something in my teeth or what. but, his best friend likes me, so idk if thats why he might not. but i want to find out if he does, because if he does then ill tell him how i feel, i just want a way to find out without reavealing to much about my feelings. i jsut need a quick way to get him to tell me if he's interested. thanks so much for any help at all

The best way to see if he likes you is to get one of your friends to ask him for you, but if you don't want him to know that you like him than tell your friend not to tell him that you do.

-Good luck =)
~Sam

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hey my name is Rachel and iam 17 years old and i've been having these weird dreams about my ex boyfriend Donnie in one dream I was meeting him in a restraunt on a date and then we kissed could these dreams mean I steal have feelings for my ex boyfriend?I don't think my mom would like me going back out with him if I do still have feelings for him becouse donnie was kindof a criminal he got arrested last month and he was 18 so I think he's a little old for me,but does these dreams mean I have feelings for him I've had this same dream every day for the past week now please help me in telling me what it means Thanks.

Dreams don't always have to mean something. Many dreams are just what you're thinking about or what was on your mind. These dreams could mean you still have feelings for him, but you shouldn't really let your dreams (at night) tell you how to live your life, even though they can help sometimes. You should just go with your first instinct, most of the time that's your best choice.

-Hope everything works out great!-
~Sam

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i don't know exactly what i'm asking. & i don't know if anyone will be able to help. but i do need help. and it'd be appreciated if you do try.

i have depression, in addition, i'm most likely the shyest person on planet earth. i don't have too many friends because of both of these. in feel really insecure about my social life as well as myself. each time i attend school i feel like everyone's judging me & in a terrible way. In a way, i'm scared to show up to school. the idea of it really scares me. i psyche myself out for it. each day i think i'll go to school, but i get ready in the morning, can't find the right thing to wear & break down. See, i haven't exactly been to school for two weeks now. usually my dad would make me go to school; but in a sense he's given up. & i have to. each day i don't show up for school i realize that it will be harder to go back. but i can't bring myself to go. i haven't been in contact with friends in days & feel like i'll use the few i have, and i'm in the proccess of doing so. i don't know why i feel so bad, and i don't know why school is so scary for me. i want to feel better & be better but i'm doing nothing to helo myself.

so i guess i'm asking a few things.
1. why is it that school is scary to me?
2. how can i make it less scary?
3. ... just any advice is what im looking for. thought - or anything. just ideas as to what i can do.

... just ideas as to what i NEED to do. 5's for anyone who bothered reading with a sensible response. xx

I know what it feels like to be scared to go to school. With everything going on and people going to their own classes and not really seeing the people around them, yes it can be scary.

To make school less scary the best thing to do is to work on communicating with people in the same classes as you. Try getting over the shyness, it'll be hard the first few times but once you make at least one friend you'll get to meet their friends and won't be as hard.

*remember worrying about what you look like isn't the most improtant thing, meeting people that don't care about that will help.

-hope everything works out--if you need any further advice just ask-
~Sam

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13/f

I hate myself. I look at myself in the mirror and just want to fricken cut myself, but I won't cut, thats just how I feel. I hate how I look. People are like your perfect weight, but I feel like I won't ever be pretty unless I have a completely flat stomach and muscular theighs. I just can't seam to accept myself. I've been told I'm pretty and stuff. It's just I see all these other girls with perfect hair and skin and I feel ugly! Then, I see these girls w/ all these hot guys, and it makes me feel like I'll never have that. I'm really sad. I don't really have anyone to talk to about it. I don't wanna talk to my parents. I only have one friend who I would talk to but he just tells me to go see a therapist or get antidepressants. I just can't seam to feel happy. So my question is, has any girls or guys gone through this and tell me tips on how to feel better. thanks..

Yes I have gone through this before. It took me a long time actually accept me for me. Some days it's still hard, what I’ve learned is to not worry so much about looks but how you act. The people you hang out with and the people who make you feel good inside shouldn't care about how you look on the outside. Everyone has something wrong with themselves, some just don't show it. Not everyone is going to have the 'perfect' hair or the 'perfect' skin. The best thing to do is to hang out with people who make you feel great and to learn to accept yourself, even if that may be hard sometimes.

-Hope everything works out for the best-
~Sam

p.s. learn to accept compliments too, those should help boost your confidence, and if you don't accept them people may stop giving it.

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I have a friend who I have known for a couple years now. She lives far enough away so that it would be hard for me to go and see her. Though lately I've talked to her on the phone and IM. I enjoy talking to her and remembering the good times that we had, but there's one problem: she was one of my biggest crushes ever. I have a girlfriend now, and I am VERY happy with her, in fact, happier than I've ever been in my life. But when I talk to my friend, the memories of good times come back, as well as the memories of how much I liked her and the memories of being rejected by her.

Now she tells me that she wants me to come visit sometime, yet I know that there are other guys that she's interested in, so I don't think that she wants to see me again in hopes of starting a relationship. But if talking to her hurts, how much would seeing her hurt me? Is there a way I can help her to understand what contacting her does to me? Or should I just live with it?

I love my girlfriend very much, and I know that she, not my other friend, could ver likely be the girl I will marry. I have no intention of leaving my girlfriend for my other friend, either, and I would NEVER cheat on the girl I love.

So along with those other questions is this: is there a way to keep my relationship AND my friendship? Or do I have to choose? If it does come to a choice, though, I know that I could say goodbye to my friend.

Thanks for you time!

hmm this is difficult, in the end, if you have to choose you should always choose the person you know is always going to be there through everything. If you feel uncomfortable talking to her you should tell her how you feel. If she is truly a good friend she will understand. If you're afraid she'll get mad or be depressed over it than it may be better to live with it but i know how hard that can be. Seeing her may fix things if she has other guys she's attracted to than maybe she just wants to be friends with you.

-hope everything works out for the best!-
~Sam

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My Ex boyfriend recently broke up with me and I want to make him jealous of me because the way he broke up with me was cruel and 2 days later he was dating again, I want to make him feel like what he did was a mistake.I want him to ask me out again so I can say know... I WANNA MAKE HIM JELOUS >:) please help

-I hate boys (13/f)

If he broke up with you, there must be a reason why.. have you talked to him about it? If you tell him how u really feel he may feel that he made a mistake, there's really no way to make him jealous w/o him hating u in the end.. trust me i know, i've been through this many times.

Good luck and feel free to tell me how it goes and if you need any more advise just ask!

~Sam

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-My mother's a whore who doesn't care to sleep wit several guys within days, married or not
-My father used to serial cheat on her, ever since the first 3 days of their marriage, and now she's gettin revenge
-No one could give a shit about me, so their shipping me off to another country
-Their pretendin to care, and sayin they want me to stay, though i'm not stupid, they both want to make me suffer(if i live wit my mom, i live wit her 2 BF's, and if i live wit my dad, i live wit his GF
-I don't know anyone in the Dominican Republic, what the hell am i supposed to do there, where the hell am i supposed to go to high school, and where the hell am i supposed to live, my own family members can't decide were to put me, since none of them want me there
-There's SOOO much more pain in my life write now, there wouldn't be any space to write it
-I have a serious addiction to cutting myself, and i think i may even be developing an addiction to pills, i mean, why wouldn't i be depressed
-And i know it's not a sex question, but it's a popular topic, and i just want to know, is there anyone who cares, anyone who can help me, anyone who can tell me, why haven't i killed myself, what the hell do i have left to care for, and what in the world am i supposed to do with my piece-of-crap-for-a-life
-I've tried proffesional help and advice, it seriously doesn't work
P.S.:plz, no wiseasses, i really don't want to deal wit that right now, cuz ur not gonna get a pleasant reaction

Sincerely,
Life Falling Apart(13/f)

I don't really know what to say. But what i'm gonna say is life has it's ups and downs. If your family doesn't care for you ...what i think you should do is fix your life, like try to do good in school just for you..not for anyone else. Talk to your friends, friends are always there for you. If you feel you have no friends, trust me theres a million people on this site that care about you. They might not know you personally, but no one wants to see someone get hurt or hurt themselves. I don't think you need help what I think you need is someone thats always gonna be there. Really your only 13 you have a long life in front of you. You choose your path. This is your life. You might already know this ...so just so you know im trying to give the best advise i can. Cutting yourself is not going to solve anything. I know that cutting makes the pain inside seem like it hurts less and that when you see it bleed it makes you feel better. But really your hurting yourself. No im not gonna tell you to talk to your parents because they seem pretty much in their own worlds. If no ones there for you, again you can choose what path you want to go down. Almost all my friends go through the same thing. I once felt like no one was there. I know what your going through. What i don't understand is why your parents are sending you away to Dominican Republic. If thats where they are sending you. Sorry if this doesn't help.. but i want you to know, I'm always always always here for you. Even if you don't know me personally. I really don't want to see anyone get hurt. Trust me im not being a "wiseass" if you feel i am, which i hope you don't, because im not trying to be. I really do hope your life turns around for the best. Remember I'm always here. Just drop a message in my box and i will always help the best i can. Life can suck sometimes. BUT it will turn around.
-I really do hope this helps....
~please send me a message saying if i helped or not ...if i didn't i can always try to give more advise.
*Remember stay positive even if you feel you life is falling from right under your feet*

ps.. i know it can be hard to be happy when you feel your life sucks.. but i know someone you know cares about you a lot...and they don't want to see you hurt inside. It could be a family member (it may not be your mom or dad but some other family memeber) or a friend.

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Could someone please tell me all of the websites that they know of that are like www.habbohotel.com ???? I know of two, www.mokitown.com and www.dubit.com , but these don't work on my computer so I need some more that will. By the way I am running Windows XP on my computer.

well i know one.... www.cokemusic.com ...it's almost just like habohotel... or thats what i was told
~hope i helped~

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my best friend hates me becuz i left 1 year of school and now thay hate me and i dont no wat 2 do please help pl plz



T.J.

ok what i would do... is talk to your best friend. You must of left school for a year for a good reason. If this person is truly your best friend he/she won't care what you do. Because it's your life. Remember true friends stick with you through the hard times and the happy times, and they will be by your side... no matter what.

-hope this helps.
~Hope it works out for the best~

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Money problems with the man that I love. He has steep child support that is deducted from his checks weekly. He works as a checker 40 hrs a week. I am supporting him and myself and my three boys. If he gets any money from his checks it is usually between 20 and 80 dollars depending on union dues and such. with what money he gets from his check, he fills up his truck with gas and gives me what is left. I make about 1200 a month, and we live in a small two bedroom duplex. My question is should I tuff it out, and stay with him? I know we will never live in a nice big house, drive nice vehicles, and have stuff. We will always have to scrimp and save. He treats me with respect, and loves me. Or should I move on and hope to find another man that will treat me as good that makes more money?

If you really do love him, i think you should "tuff" it out. Things might work out. Love can be hard at times, my parents are going through a hard time but i know they love eachother and they will do whatever they think is best for me. I know i'm young but trust me, if you really do this man, you will be with him through the hard times and the good times.
-I hoped I helped and i hope i didn't confuse you in anyway.
~I really do hope this works out for the best~

ps. remember God is always with you... he's always showing you the way and hes always gonna be there!!!

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ok i DO have friends, but i cant make them easily! whenever im in a new situation im always just sitting in the corner by myself, lonely, etc! and that sucks! acuse then it makes the experience NO FUN!! and im like the loudest person ever when you get to know me. how can i over come this? i feel weird if i just go up and say "HI IM ____" (but if worst comes to worst, i do it but im like shaking!!!) so yeah, how can i get rid of this shyness?!

The best thing to do is go up to people that seem nice and start talking... before you do this...
-practice, like in front of a mirror.
&
-take a couple deep breaths.
~just remember everyone gets nervous when they're first meeting someone... it's human nature. You shouldn't always expect people to come up to you and start talking because they're just as nercous as you.

-I hope this helps
~i hope it works out for the best~

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