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A friend who was once a crush
I have a friend who I have known for a couple years now. She lives far enough away so that it would be hard for me to go and see her. Though lately I've talked to her on the phone and IM. I enjoy talking to her and remembering the good times that we had, but there's one problem: she was one of my biggest crushes ever. I have a girlfriend now, and I am VERY happy with her, in fact, happier than I've ever been in my life. But when I talk to my friend, the memories of good times come back, as well as the memories of how much I liked her and the memories of being rejected by her.
Now she tells me that she wants me to come visit sometime, yet I know that there are other guys that she's interested in, so I don't think that she wants to see me again in hopes of starting a relationship. But if talking to her hurts, how much would seeing her hurt me? Is there a way I can help her to understand what contacting her does to me? Or should I just live with it?
I love my girlfriend very much, and I know that she, not my other friend, could ver likely be the girl I will marry. I have no intention of leaving my girlfriend for my other friend, either, and I would NEVER cheat on the girl I love.
So along with those other questions is this: is there a way to keep my relationship AND my friendship? Or do I have to choose? If it does come to a choice, though, I know that I could say goodbye to my friend.
Thanks for you time!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I was in the same situation as you, except for me the friend wasn't long distance. you shouldn't have to choose. my advice would be to try and word through the pain, it seems like she is a close friend and you shouldn't lose that.
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Okay, well it was long long ago, right?
Maybe you should go see her, because you guys are friends now, and you have a girlfriend, and you love her. And if your very in love with your girlfriend it shouldnt hurt you anymore to see your friend, if you still have feelings for her it might, but remember your friend rejected you, and your in love, so keep that in mind.
If you want to tell your friend how you feel, you can, but that might make her think you like her again, make sure you make her understand that you are in love.
Yes there is a way to keep your relationshpi with your girlfriend and friend, you love your girlfriend, you should be able to hang out with your friend, because you shoudlnt have feelings for her naymore, but if that wont work for her, than make a choice, and take your girlfriend.
But I'm sure you can make things work ouut..
take care.
<3
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hmm this is difficult, in the end, if you have to choose you should always choose the person you know is always going to be there through everything. If you feel uncomfortable talking to her you should tell her how you feel. If she is truly a good friend she will understand. If you're afraid she'll get mad or be depressed over it than it may be better to live with it but i know how hard that can be. Seeing her may fix things if she has other guys she's attracted to than maybe she just wants to be friends with you.
-hope everything works out for the best!-
~Sam
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