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June 5, 2006Answers:
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Holler at your girl with your wack-ass problems and she'll get back at you with some stellar advice on how you should live your life and make decisions. She's that nice with advice.
Note: The identities of all those who email queries will remain anonymous.
Carollani is NOT a health professional or clinical psychologist; if you have serious medical, mental, or emotional problems then see a physician.
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advice
I am 20 years old an i am engaged to my wounderful boyfriend of 2 years..i recelty found out that this month he has been poking holes the size of tumb tacks in our condums.. i was woundering if there was a chance i am now pregnant...and what should i do..he dose not know that i found out???? i want kids i am just scared that we are not ready
Two things came to mind when I read your query:
1. That is really fucked up.
2. THAT IS REALLY FUCKED UP!
Yes, there is definitely a chance that you could be pregnant. Go get yourself an early pregnancy test and do at least two of them. If they're both negative then you're in the clear, but if one or both of them are positive then go to your doctor or Planned Parenthood and get an exam to find out for sure.
The issue here is that you're engaged to a sociopath that has no regard for you or what you want. If he really has been poking holes in the condoms then he's got big problems and you need to reevaluate your relationship. Ask yourself why he would do this. Ask yourself why he would deceive you in order to violate your body (and life plans!) by secretly pushing for a pregnancy. He doesn't own your body, but he's trying to force your body into something that he wants... without your knowledge or consent! That is so incredibly wrong.
Do you want a marriage, a family, and a life with someone who has no respect for your personal plans, body, and boundaries? That's the question at hand. Until you figure out the answer to that question, get on the birth control pill. You want kids eventually, but I can tell you right now that you don't want kids at 20 years old without any kind of stable foundation in a relationship with a liar; don't do that to a kid.
Personally, I don't know what point there is in calling your boyfriend on what he's been doing. If he's the kind of guy who would do something like that then he's probably a pretty good liar and he'll be able to convince you that he wouldn't ever do anything like that to you. You either make up your mind to leave him and look for someone respectful and honest, or you stay with him and start a marriage and a family with someone you can't trust. It's your life... you just need to decide what you want out of it.
-Carollani
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I have two former friends who (in my opinion) seriously abuse their cat. "Tammy" will grab the cat by the back legs and spin it around, set it on the floor and flip it in circles, chase it around the house, pull it by its tail when it tries to get away, etc. She's 21, so she's not a kid at all. With her boyfriend, they will put the cat in a pillowcase a breathe lungfulls of marijuana smoke in on it. When they have parties, they will "pass the cat." Everyone in at the party will take the joint and the bagged cat, and on every exhale breathe their smoke into the cat's bag. This will go on for an hour or two before they free the cat. This is just what they do in front of other people.
I can only see where I have there options here, each with problems.
1) Call the police.
2) Break into their house and steal the cat.
3) Do nothing.
I don't want to call the police, because I smoke weed and so do a lot of my friends. Used to, if you got caught in my town you just went to jail. Now you reduce your sentence with every fellow pot head you turn in, all the way up to having no arrest record if you turn in enough people.
I don't want to break in just because...well...it's wrong, I guess. And I really want to do something to help the cat. I've already tried talking to them about it, and it doesn't help.
I would really appreciate any other suggestions, or help picking which option is right. Thanks!
Okay, I know everyone is telling you to be anonymous but fuck that. Call animal control, tell them the situation, and then tell them that you will gladly give a written testimony of the things you've witnessed. Tell them that if they can keep your name anonymous that you'd appreciate it, but it's not necessary.
Do you really want to be friends with sociopaths? That's literally what they are. One of the first signs of a sociopath is how they treat animals. It sounds like you need some new friends.
You're not going to get busted for weed. If you want to take precautions then get the weed and paraphernalia out of your house when you call until things go down, but animal control has no interest or authorization to turn in someone for smoking pot. They'll just be grateful that you had the balls to speak up for that cat.
Go here: http://www.aspca.org/ to find out more information on the prevention of animal cruelty.
My long-term boyfriend & I have recently started having sex. He wasn't a virgin but I was (I'm 18, he's 19). The sex is getting better each time too. The thing is, sometimes he'll make a face or we'll like bump heads by accident & I'll think it's hilarious. He doesn't think so, and stays so serious. I would like to lighten the mood a bit and get him to loosen up even though sex is serious, but how do I go about doing that?
Oh, I totally understand what you're talking about! It's so awkward when the other person doesn't laugh with you or make noise at all.
He's definitely insecure about his abilities, otherwise he wouldn't get upset with you laughing. Talk to him. Tell him that you laugh because it's funny and laughing makes you feel good. Tell him that he also makes you feel good. Blow a little smoke up his ass (figuratively).
Also, let him know that you'd enjoy yourself even more if he could lighten up and just have fun with you instead of being so serious.
If he can't get over it then toss him and find someone who can. It's his problem, not yours. Sex is fun, and sometimes funny!
My friends really think I've got mental problems! Not seriously, but it's getting out of hand. I have always been like a kid--- i still love cartoons, video games and i still talk like a kid when im not nervous; like if around my friends, Im completely myself. And thats always been a problem because whem Im myself, Im crazy and hyper. So lately, my friends and people i hardly know from my school are saying that I have a mental problem. I know it sounds dumb, but I hate it!
I told my friend that there is nothing wrong, and they all say they are just joking around when they say i have ADD or OCD, but the other people at my school dont know this. Sure, school is almost over, but I really dont want to continue with this stupid rumor! And I can't even set the record straight that I have no problem, because the rumor is based on how I act, which is kidishly. I really cant sit still or I play with things and I make up wacko words.
Is there a way to show, well sure, im not normal, but just not crazy? Thanks.
14/f
If lots of people are noticing this and telling you that you're crazy then maybe they're right. Heh. No one wants to believe that they might really have mental problems, but the good news is that there's treatment for almost every kind of mental illness.
Ask your parents to schedule an appointment for you with a psychologist so that you can talk to a professional. They might confirm that you're perfectly normal and healthy! If they notice that you have a disorder they can help you work through it. You don't have OCD, but you might have ADD or you might just crave attention so severely that you act crazy to get it. These things can be fixed! It's better to find out young what your issues are so that you can work them out before your brain is all hard-wired.
Girls who talk in a little girl voice usually have had a very traumatic event occur when they were young. Were you sexually assaulted as a young child? You may have even blocked out the event in your brain to help protect yourself from the memory, but it's there in you somewhere. A therapist can help you remember, face, and work through traumatic memories.
If this is your issue you really really really need to start therapy as soon as possible before you start acting out and recreating the trauma you lived through. That is the cycle of human trauma. We subconsciously seek out the kind of trauma we lived through unless we've worked it out.
Start therapy and find out why you act the way you do... it'll help and you'll be able to control your craziness.
Carollani
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These is for all you girls :) How would you like to be aproched to,loke if a guy wants to hit on you on the street what would youlike him to say?
Introduce yourself, but be respectful and polite because girls are usually a little defensive to strangers coming at them out of nowhere.
Make eye contact and shake her hand, tell her that she caught your eye and that you'd like to get to know her, ask her what she likes to do... look for something you two have in common so that you can talk about that. Keep it short and sweet and leave before she does; tell her you're glad you met her and ask if you can call her sometime, and then split.
Don't stay if you're unwanted; if she keeps her arms folded in front of her or keeps her body facing away from you then she wants you to leave.
Be confident!
Carollani
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ok well im a 15/f and my bf is a 16/m. we have been together for over a year now and i know what people are going to say your 15 sex can wait and i know it can. i mean i want to wait until later on in life but yet i sometimes feel like im ready to do it with him.. i mean me and him have talked about it before and he says he thinks hes ready but it all depends on me. i mean i love him to death and never felt this way about a guy before..he tells me he loves me alot and wouldnt make me do anything i wouldnt want to..hes told me that hes never felt this way and wouldnt know what to do if he lost me. but i mean when i say i want to i know for a fact ill chicken out because im so self conscience and like because of pain and possible bleeding. we talked about it last night and like when he wants to and stuff but he told me its up to me. like how do i know if im ready? how bad does it hurt? and like would i bleed alot? like i dont want to screw up and stuff like im scared to do it how do i get over it?
sorry its so long
thanks
(i rate)
If you want to have sex with him then go for it! Just be prepared:
Go to your family doctor, or make an appointment at Planned Parenthood to get some birth control pills. The doctor you see will be a good person to tell you about STDs and what you can expect from your body if you have any questions about those things. No matter how safe you feel with your boyfriend ALWAYS have him WEAR A CONDOM.
Birth control pills will probably be enough to prevent pregnancy, but they're not 100% preventative, and they definitely don't protect you against STDs. Condoms prevent pregnancy 99% of the time and are very effectual in preventing the transference of STDs.
Not everyone loses their virginity with someone they love, so you'll have a much better experience with your boyfriend than the average sexually active teen. As long as you're really turned on and relaxed with your boyfriend it won't hurt much. Just make sure you have lots of foreplay so you get really wet and have him go nice and slow until you relax and are ready to really go for it!
There is no way to "screw up" as long as you're safe, so don't worry. There's no reason to feel self-conscious during sex, because sex is all about doing what feels gooooood. Sex is great, especially with someone you care a lot for. If you and your boyfriend are close you'll be able to experiment with each other and have a lot of fun. It's honestly not as big of a deal as you think, and most kids have a little bit of disappointment after the first time. Even if it's not great the first time it'll get better when you're more comfortable with it.
The bleeding is different for everyone. I didn't bleed at all, but I know people who did. If you're really worried about it just lay down a dark towel ahead of time, but it's very little bleeding on average.
Have fun and stay safe!
Carollani
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ok yea that was corney but I have a question...At nights when I can be at home with my husband I like to straighten my hair, wear cute pajamas and NO make~up... Problem is I have extremley dark circles around my eyes it looks like I am seriously malnourished but im not! What can I do to make them go away? I've heard of cucumbers but exactly what's there purpose? I'll rate high as the sky (22/female)
Cucumbers reduce swelling, as they stay at a temperature lower than that of the room. Cucumbers will help treat bags under your eyes, but not dark circles. Unfortunately, I don't know of any non-makeup "cures" for dark circles.
I have thin skin under my eyes so you can see a bluish greenish tinge due to the blood vessels below. The only thing I've found that covers up that discoloration is MAC concealer. You can apply it with a make-up brush to give it a smooth finish and reduce the occurrence of finger prints. It works really well--much better than anything else I've tried.
MAC is great makeup, and if you just ask them to give you a makeover they can show you how to apply the concealer the best way.
I know I don't need to tell you to have a good night!
Carollani
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I'm not sure how to message you directly, so I'll answer your next question right here.
MAC makeup can be found at any Macy's or Nordstroms or you could buy online at http://www.maccosmetics.com/templates/products/sp.tmpl?CATEGORY_ID=CATEGORY15106&PRODUCT_ID=PROD7855
But it would be best to go into the store so they can match your skin color. That particular concealer costs $15, and it's worth every penny!
MAC is my favorite makeup... make sure you go and ask for a complete makeover, because it's free and it's fun. The makeup artists there are trained well and can teach you some tips and tricks. Enjoy!
hi - ok so i really like this guy. he lives like down the road from me, and we have gone out before. we dont go to the same school, so when we went out it was hard to see each other b/c we are both involved in sports. when we went out we both cheated on eachother, and since we never saw eachother - we just thought it was best to break up. btw, i was his first gf, first kiss, first like everything. this was all in february. now its june, and i want a new chance at him. he says that he likes me, but not enough for us to go out. he told me hes scared that if we go out, he will sqrew things up for us. bc i like him more than he likes me. i really want a second chance with him. do i deserve it? what can i do to convince him to be with me? should i move on? how? please help. i rate high
It's not a question of "deserving" him, you're just asking for pain by wanting to be with him.
What's going on is this: he's moved on and you haven't. You were his first and now he's onto his second, third, fourth... He's not looking back, so why are you? It's cool if you keep him as a friend, but do yourself a favor and stop chasing this guy.
He doesn't like you like that and if you convinced him to go out with you again he'd be bored and probably cheat on you again, and the relationship would end again.
Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? Don't you deserve to be wanted? It's humiliating and pathetic to chase after someone who has no interest in you. You're SO much better than that; you should be with someone who's crazy about you, girl. Don't sell yourself short!
How do you move on? Stop obsessing about him. Get a hobby, learn to paint, read, start bird-watching... whatever! Work on YOURSELF; you'll be a happier, more confident person and happy confident people don't have to chase after boys--the boys chase after them.
Carollani
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I am divorced and my son spends most of his time with his mother. I asked my son if he wanted to go to a Mets game with me (we both love baseball). At first he said yes, then a few days later he asked me if one of his friends could come along. My problem: I don't get to spend a lot of time with my son, and I was looking forward to the game as a chance for us to spend time together. I know that if his friend comes along I will feel like a "fifth wheel". My son spends a lot of time with his friends, and I don't think it is necessary for him to bring his friend along. What should I do?
I personally think it's really great that you cherish the time you have with your son the way you do, and he is going to be a much better person for it.
I can understand that you might be afraid that he'll think you're being a downer if you tell him his friend can't come, but you're right... if his friend is there you'll be the 5th wheel unless you can somehow make yourself one of the boys for the day.
You know you're going to feel put-out if his friend is there, so I would suggest you talk to your son. Tell him that you've been really looking forward to this time with him and that you'd rather have the Mets game just be the two of you. Then suggest an alternative outing that the friend can join you guys on, so it doesn't seem like you're being unreasonable. Your son should be able to understand your feelings and will hopefully reassure you that it'll just be the two of you for the game.
Go Mets!
Carollani
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my boyfriend is gone for the summer to new mexico and he does not call me and i really miss him i talked to him for about 3 minutes and he said do not call my dad's cell or text cause his dad has to pay for the text messaging and minutes and he also said that he would call me yesterday and he never did and i really miss him. my sis said that he is fooling around over there but i don't think he will. what do you guys/grls think sorry it's so long.
Give the boy a break! His dad is probably pretty annoyed with you calling and texting so that'll make things tense for your boyfriend.
Give him some time... let him miss you! Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but if you don't give him some time and space to miss you he'll feel claustrophobic even so far away from you. He'll call you eventually, and when he does you'll know that he's calling because he wants to and not just because you want him to.
In the mean time enjoy your summer! Won't you feel stupid if you waste your whole summer pining away for this guy and it turns out he was creeping on you? You know he's going to be having a good time even if he's staying true to you, so you should have a good time too.
He's probably not fooling around, so don't get all weird and jealous on him or he won't want to call you.
Carollani
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There's this girl,(lets call her B) who's been saying mean stuff about me on her blog, like how i'm annoying and blahblahblah. Some of our friends(we both know the same people)read her blog,and my crush knows her pretty well.I'm worried that B will tell my crush bad stuff about me,and he'll get a horrible first impression of me. Also, I don't want B to go around telling everyone how she finds me irritating etc. What should I do ?
thanks*
Are you annoying? Heh.
Everyone is entitled to an opinion and some people take it as far as judging others and talking about it, that's just part of life--get used to it. There is something you can do to minimize the drama of the situation though.
Confront her. Now, I don't mean you should step to her with an attitude because then she'll REALLY have it out for you. Just go to her without any ego at all and ask her if you can talk to her for a minute. Tell her that you realize that she's entitled to her opinion about you, but that you would be really relieved if she stopped talking about you to people and writing about you in her blog. Ask her if there's something you did to offend her and if you could make it up to her somehow.
I'm not suggesting that you ask if you could make it up to her because I think you did anything wrong, in fact I'm making that suggestion because then she'll feel guilty about talking about you and may try to be really nice to you if you present yourself in just the right way. That's why being completely egoless when you talk to her is so important. Egoless but direct and confident; you don't want to come across as a whiny bitch so speak purposefully and hold your head high, but let her see the hurt in your eyes.
If you're not annoying like she says you are then your crush will recognize that for himself if he's not a sheep, and if he is a sheep then you're better off without him.
Remember: direct, confident, egoless, and hurt eyes. And those, my friends, are the ABC's of manipulation.
Carollani
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13/f
I hate myself. I look at myself in the mirror and just want to fricken cut myself, but I won't cut, thats just how I feel. I hate how I look. People are like your perfect weight, but I feel like I won't ever be pretty unless I have a completely flat stomach and muscular theighs. I just can't seam to accept myself. I've been told I'm pretty and stuff. It's just I see all these other girls with perfect hair and skin and I feel ugly! Then, I see these girls w/ all these hot guys, and it makes me feel like I'll never have that. I'm really sad. I don't really have anyone to talk to about it. I don't wanna talk to my parents. I only have one friend who I would talk to but he just tells me to go see a therapist or get antidepressants. I just can't seam to feel happy. So my question is, has any girls or guys gone through this and tell me tips on how to feel better. thanks..
I don't know if this will comfort you at all, but I used to feel exactly the same way... and now I'm a very confident and happy person. There's hope for you too!
First of all: you're depressed. It's empowering to name our enemies, because it gives us something to study. Depression is your enemy, start reading about it so that you can learn how to beat it.
Realize that everyone around you is just as self-conscious as you are. Even those people who are the "perfect weight". Every 13 year old wants to look like or be someone else, and that's just silly. You don't even know who you are yet, so give yourself a chance! I used to always be embarrassed and self-conscious in a swimsuit until I realized that no one around me was ever going to judge me as harshly as I judged myself. Confidence is the key to getting almost anything you want. People are attracted to confident people, because it's something we all admire.
Your friend was right; therapy and antidepressants can help a lot. You may not even need medication if you start seeing a therapist. Being in therapy isn't as scary as you might imagine it... all you do is think and talk and sometimes answer questions. The therapist can help you find the roots of your depression and teach you ways to weed it out of your head, because depression and those feelings of inadequacy are all a state of mind. Therapists are great because they're totally objective people you can unload all those crappy feelings you have on, and it's their JOB to listen! Haha, but seriously they have lots of experience in helping sad people learn how to be happy. They might suggest anti-depressants for a while, and medicine is a great tool sometimes.
Fake it 'til you make it! PRETEND you're happy and confident. Every morning stand in the mirror and give yourself five compliments. Every time you're feeling like cutting yourself say (out loud) "I am a beautiful and happy person." Smile at strangers and be a pleasant person to be around. Positivity is a very powerful force. If you fill yourself with positive thoughts they will cleanse the darkness and gloom right out of you.
Also, find a hobby or an artistic outlet. Being interested in something will give you less time to be hating yourself. Stay active! Exercising releases endorphins in your body that make you feel happy and euphoric, it will also help you feel like you're in control of something in your life. Have fun and learn about interesting things. DO STUFF!
There is no quick fix to depression, so plan on working hard to defeat it. You can do it! Carollani believes that you're a worthwhile person that will take the steps you need to be happy. And give yourself a break, you're only 13! You have so much time to get what you want. Your skin will clear up, your hormones will level out, you will learn how to be confident, and the boys will be knocking down your door.
Start today and repeat after me: "I am fabulous!"
Carollani
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5 yrs ago I dated a guy for 4 months and he dumped me out of the blue. Last year we started dating again and it's been absolutely perfect for 14 months! he's been a bachelor forever (he's 43) and i'm sure this is the longest he's ever been with someone. we got a puppy and have both fallen in love with him and are training and raising him together. I spend most nights at his place, but still own my own place too. Does anybody think this will work out for the long term? not necessarily marriage, but a committed relationship? and How do I get him to say it??? Thanks in advance.
It sounds like things are going great! All except for the fact that you apparently can't even ask him about his expectations regarding your relationship with him. I've said it before and I'll say it again: open and direct communication is paramount in any relationship.
Do you really think a stranger is going to be able to tell you if your relationship is going to last? Of course not! But then again, of course I'll try. Heh.
Let's face it: he's not getting any younger so settling down is probably in the back of his mind somewhere. It's also a good sign that you two got and are raising a puppy together; it shows that he's not afraid of commitment, and it also shows he's nurturing (but I'm sure you already knew that.)
If you're serious about this man then it's time to ask him if he's serious about you. He probably feels like he's already showing you that he's serious, and it does sound as if he has been, so just strike up a conversation about the future with him. It doesn't need to be a big "We need to talk" kind of event, you can keep it easy and casual in a number of ways:
You could start it off by poking fun at the fact that you're asking a typical "girl" question--this way his initial anxieties can be laughed off and he'll be able to answer you without feeling tense.
At a romantic dinner together you can ask the question by not asking anything, but by telling him your expectations and hopes for the future. Something like, "I've really enjoyed these last 14 months, I love raising our puppy together, and I love spending time with you. I just want you to know that I hope the next 14 months are just as amazing." He'll undoubtedly respond with his own expecations, and with this exchange you'll have opened up that line of communication with him that you'll need to sustain the relationship.
You could start up a game of the beloved "Truth or Dare." Start it out silly and fun, and just when he's been lulled into a false sense of security drop the bomb on him! Haha, just kidding. There's seriously no reason why asking him outright should be terrifying for either of you if you're both happy and having fun together.
Be brave and just do it!
Carollani
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This is kind of long and confusing, but bear with me.
Well, I like this guy Jerry. We've talked and flirted before but we usually never see eachother that much. There was a weekend at my friend Kia's church called Disciple Now, and Jerry was there. Usually he would talk to me or say SOMETHING but he he didn't say one word to me the entire time! My friend Kia talked to some people, that don't seem like the people that Jerry would tell his business to, but she that they said that he liked me. But the weird thing is that she finally said that AFTER I admited to like Jerry. She's not the most trustworthy person, but she can be. So then I hear that he gets a girlfriend the week after she told me that. That kinda made me feel down but I knew that I probably wouldn't have a chance with him.
A few weeks after that Kia said that Jerry told her to say hi to me, which made me smile. He acts like he likes me yet he has a girlfriend.
And another problem is that we are in two completely different cliques. He's preppy, and I'm classified as emo/punk. It's really weird too.
A lot of people found out I like him ((like the youth leader)) and I think he knows.
Now, that you've heard everything, do you think he likes me?
(13/f)
Thanks, I rate high
We all know that relationships aren't "until death do we part" at age 13, and even though he has a girlfriend right now the chances that he'll be single again soon are pretty high. Don't give up!
Even though you might think it's obvious to Jerry that you like him, he may be unsure. Girls tend to drop signals that boys hardly ever catch, so continue to talk and flirt with him.
He probably does like you, but he might not be bold enough to date outside his clique. Again, don't give up! As he gets older he'll hopefully grow some balls and do what he wants to do instead of what he thinks people want him to do.
Keep flirting, and go get him girl!
-Carollani
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My bf has an older brother (11 years older). He looks up to him like a father cz he helped bring my bf up. I like his brother a lot. Hes a nice guy.
Ive realised that whenever his bro is with us my bf doesnt treat me too gd (rude etc), for no reason. As soon as his brother has gone hes really nice to me.
He can't even be bothered to see me, or talk to me, if hes going out with his bro later on.
When we talk on the phone he doesnt make an effort. Its like Im talking to myself. When he talks to his bro they're laughing n hes telling his brother everything.
Before I didnt see it. Then I thought I was exagerating n I thought it was me who was acting diff. But now its jus obvious to me.
I have tried talking to him about it but he jus says Im being stupid and he wouldn't do that to me. If I say smething about his bro hes gonna get annoyed with me. He always does.
I dunno how to approach the situation.
It seems to me that your boyfriend idolizes his brother quite a bit, and it's my guess that his brother never taught him how to be respectful to women. I would bet you $10 that your boyfriend's brother doesn't treat his girlfriends very well either and probably makes jokes about them behind their backs to your boyfriend. If his brother saw your boyfriend treating you well he might call your boyfriend a pussy when you're not around, and so on.
The brother is a total douche bag, and if your boyfriend doesn't have the balls to stand up to his brother and be a real man who has respect for his girlfriend, then he's Douche Bag Jr.
If you want to know how a guy is going to treat you after the "honeymoon" is over then watch how he treats (and talks about) his sisters and mother. If he calls his mom a bitch and is always giving his sisters a hard time then the jackass is going to eventually start treating you that way... either to your face or otherwise. But if he's respectful of his mother and does his best to protect and look out for his sisters then he's a good guy, and he'll continue to treat you well.
I suggest you approach the situation by saying, "I'm dumping your sorry ass because you treat me like shit around your brother and when i try to talk to you about it you tell me I'm being stupid. I'm off to find a much better, much bigger man... BITCH!" Y'know, or something like that.
Good luck with your next boyfriend!
-Carollani
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okay so when i wear tampons i almost always use the "heavy" ones because i don't find the "regular" ones protect me as much. but when i take out the "heavy" ones (after 7-8 hours) they are sometimes not fully absorbed. are there any risks in this?
Did you know that you either have the propensity for TSS or you don't? Yes, TSS is a very serious risk, but most of us are never in any danger of it. Meaning, you could wear a tampon for 48 hours and still not get TSS, though I wouldn't recommend it... it's gross.
You're totally fine wearing the heavy tampons, but if they're not ready to come out after 7-8 hours then why don't you leave them in until they are? I wouldn't suggest this during then end of your period, but during the heavy parts it'd be fine. Of course, if you start running an inexplicable fever then take it out right away and consider getting your ass to a doctor who can check out the TSS symptoms.
I will caution you about taking a tampon out way before it's done though, because the cotton (mix) will be [sucking] as hard as it can against the walls of your vagina. When you yank that tampon out while it's still dry it'll be roughing up the very soft tissue in there. Be good to your cooter and it will be good to you.
You might consider getting yourself a Keeper. You can learn more about them at www.keeper.com. I've never used one before, but I've heard from several friends that they're absolutely wonderful.
-Carollani
Queries for Carollani
I use Ban brand deodorant, which is supposed to be a good quality brand Im told, but I still sweat under there. I put it on once in the morning, but it wont work all day. I was wondering if there is a "magical" deodorant that stays on all day and works great. I also dance, so I need one thats strong. I cant seem to find the deodorant that is right for me. Maybe there are some other ways to stop the sweating. Thanks for the help!
There are actually prescription deodorant/antiperspirants that you can get from your doctor, but there is something you should consider first.
The thing that makes antiperspirants work is different kinds of aluminum. Now, doctors suspect that exposing yourself to a lot of aluminum may cause Alzheimer's disease because they've found aluminum deposits in the brains of its victims. Alzheimer's is a particularly sad and scary disease that causes you to forget things; first the little things--like where you put your keys or what you were just talking about, and it gets worse and worse until you forget how to swallow and breathe.
You should remember that sweating is natural, no matter what commercials and magazines might tell you, and that it's your body's way of controlling temperature. If you work and dance hard you deserve to sweat! If you're particularly stinky you can just get an all-natural deodorant that will mask the smell until you can go take a shower.
Take care of yourself and keep on dancing!
-Carollani
www.queries4carollani.blogspot.com
I am suffering from back pain for last 1 year.It occurs when I sit/stand for relatively long time,sit without support ,wash face in the wash basin.I get relief after lying on my stomach .I have been doing yoga but there is no permanent relief.
The X ray of my spine is normal,ESR is 2,Uric acid -6.6,alkaline phosphate -88.Doctor has prescribed following medicines:
Movon&Drupan-2weeks,Calton-2 months ,Zyloric-6 weeks.
Is my uric acid very high?How can it be cured?
I suffer from acidity & IBS ,Is it really necessary to take medicines ?
Is there any alternative therapy?
As someone who suffers from chronic pain I feel like I have a lot of wisdom to share with you!
Alright, now... doctors are trained to make the symptoms go away. Which means they'll write you out a prescription for pain meds instead of considering what is actually causing the pain and how that can be fixed. There are so many alternatives to traditional medicine out there.
First of all: find a good chiropractor. Not all chiropractors are alike, so ask around and try to find some good word-of-mouth direction as to where to go. Chiropractic is god's gift to people suffering from all kinds of ailments.
But don't think it'll be a one-time visit. Getting your spine realigned is like stretching a muscle. If you stretch it out just once and then forget about it, it'll get tight and sore again, but if you stretch it regularly then it'll stay loose and functional. It is the same with chiropractic. You'll probably need to go a few times a week for a little while and then once it seems to be sticking you can taper your visits down. I'm at the point where I only go as needed.
You might be pleasantly surprised by the effects of regular chiropractic visits. I noted that my allergies affected me less, that I had more energy, that my flexibility doubled. Chiropractic has been known to cure TMJ, gastro-intestinal issues, and many other internal afflictions. Your back may be pinching the part of the spinal column that is causing your IBS.
I would bet, though, that you can eliminate your acidity and IBS by modifying your diet. Go see a nutritionist. They don't just tell you what you should and shouldn't be eating... they can tell you why what you're eating is causing your body to react the way it does. Make sure you find a nutritionist who has been practicing for a while and has a reputation of being spot-on.
In addition to chiropractic and nutrition, you can try acupuncture and massage therapy. Massage and chiropractic are low-frequency therapy, where acupuncture is high-frequency. I would suggest you doing both a high-frequency and a low-frequency therapy at the same time. You'll be amazed at how your body reacts. Acupuncture is like chiropractic, in that it's not a one-time deal.
If you don't make time to be healthy you're going to have time to be sick.
Good luck with the back pain... I hope there was something in there that you can use.
Hi,
I have an issue with obsessive thoughts. Someone will tell me one small bad thing about their past, and I won't be able to get it out of my mind for weeks. I know this sounds really messed up, but it really affects me. For example, my friend told me he used to have a addiction with porn. I keep thinking about this, and it upsets me. Yet I don't know why, because it's NO big deal.
Someone suggested this may be a sign of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. I don't do any actions over and over, it's only the thoughts that I have a problem with. Could this be a serious problem? Is there anything I can do to stop these thoughts? I don't really want to see a psychologist or whatnot if I can do something on my own to help myself. Just curious if there's anyone else out there that knows what I could do.
Thanks for your help.
Obsessing about disturbing thoughts is definitely a symptom of OCD, but it sounds like you might just have a mild case. However, your aversion to therapy suggests that maybe you fear something within yourself. This one little symptom may turn into more and more... mental disorders tend to snowball pretty quickly without intervention.
Honestly, therapy is really great. A psychologist will not only help you to work through the OCD and possibly squelch it altogether, but they will help you feel more comfortable with yourself. It's always scary to go open yourself up like that for a stranger, but sometimes a stranger is the only person who can be objective and honest with you.
You could read as much about OCD and other abnormal psychology as you can, but no one is going to have the practical applications and advice for helping you solve your problem like a therapist will.
You're going to be fine, okay? Good luck!
Can too much attention freak a girl out and make her back off? Even though you're really close? I've heard people say this before, but I'm not too sure, and now I'm affraid that I've been bothering my girlfriend with too much attention.
You can totally freak a girl out and make her back off with too much attention, but it depends on the girl. She may bask in your attention and love every minute of it or she might be feeling like you've got her in vise grips. She will give you signals that she's getting an overdose of you if you'll just watch for them, but you should just ask. Open and direct conversation is the best way to avoid misunderstandings.
Just say something like, "I love giving you a lot of attention, but I know you might need some space once and a while and I just wanted you to know that you can tell me that any time and I won't be hurt." She'll be relieved that you understand and that you won't be hurt by her asking for that space. Just make sure that if/when she decides to take that space you're not passive-aggressively punishing her by pulling away emotionally or treating her differently.
Make sure you're not pulling her away from her friends, and that you're not neglecting your friends as well. When you're gushing over the new love interest in your life it's easy to alienate your friends, but it's unhealthy to rely on that new person in your life for every need you have. They shouldn't be your everything or they'll burn out under the pressure.
People get different things from the different people in their lives--you might have a friend you can be a total dork around, another who is great to study with, and another that you can tell all your secrets to for example. All of these people are important and shouldn't be traded in when you get a new girlfriend. All of your relationships need tending to now and again or they'll get weak and die like a plant without watering.