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im need help..im scared but yet i think want to do it
ok well im a 15/f and my bf is a 16/m. we have been together for over a year now and i know what people are going to say your 15 sex can wait and i know it can. i mean i want to wait until later on in life but yet i sometimes feel like im ready to do it with him.. i mean me and him have talked about it before and he says he thinks hes ready but it all depends on me. i mean i love him to death and never felt this way about a guy before..he tells me he loves me alot and wouldnt make me do anything i wouldnt want to..hes told me that hes never felt this way and wouldnt know what to do if he lost me. but i mean when i say i want to i know for a fact ill chicken out because im so self conscience and like because of pain and possible bleeding. we talked about it last night and like when he wants to and stuff but he told me its up to me. like how do i know if im ready? how bad does it hurt? and like would i bleed alot? like i dont want to screw up and stuff like im scared to do it how do i get over it?
sorry its so long
thanks
(i rate)
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Yup been there, done that. It's great he's not pushing you into anything (for me that was the very reason I knew it was right in the first place) and you shouldn't even think abot sleeping with him until you're on birth control and/or have got hold of some condoms.
The fear thing is totally natural and if it's just the pain you're worried aboutthen yes it probably will hurt and be a bit uncomfortable first couple of times (get him to be very gentle) but it gets much better and it shouldn't be agonising.
The self-conscious thing is also totally normal but trust me, all he'll be thinking is "wow, naked girlfriend, awesome" and again you'll get less self-conscious as time goes on.
If it's more than just the fear of pain and babies then don't do it. You need to be able to trust this guy to listen to you before after and uring sex and not to brag about it to his friends. You also need to be able to talk to him about what would happen if something did happen and you got pregnant and so on.
If you can do that, you love each other and you actually feel you want to then you're pretty much set.
But it sounds like you don't really want to. If you want to wait until later on in life then DO. There's absolutely no reason to rush into something like this you're not ready for. He's waited this long, he can wait some more. It's a big leap that's always going to be scary to take but you'll know when you're ready. x
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Wow, I went through the same thing!!! My boyfriend was just as nice to me as your bf is to you. We are the lucky ones to find guys like that. And I feared the same things you do. And I would suggest not to do anything until you are sure. You can never go wrong with waiting, but if you rushinto sex you might regret it later. Your never going to get over that nervouseness, but you will know when your ready. Wait until the time is right. When I finally lost it, it didnt hurt at all. The things that you are worried about you shouldnt worry about at all trust me. Everyone is diffrent on how much it will hurt, but it will definatly hurt more if you are all tense. So when you two feel that its the right time try to relax, and dont worry about screwing up, its your first time and you will learn from it.
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if your second guessing yourself like this than maybe your really not ready. your only ready because you want to please him ( been their ) im noot gon lie it hurt and you may not bleed if your active . do whats BEST FOR YOU> DONT DO SOMETHING YOUR GONNA REGRET LATER>
hope it works out for the best
Jazzy**
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Only have sex if you think you could take care of a baby. Because theres always that risk, even with a condom. Especially in young girls, who dont know when they are ovulating.
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i think its so great that you have a guy who doesnt pressure you into this. But as always there are alot of guys who just want "it" then they dump you, but you've been together a while so i'm no one to judge that.
As for the pain i cant tell you from experience but it probobly will hurt at least a little bit and you may or may not bleed(but if you do it will be a very little bit. If you are not on birth control GET ON IT. Birth control is'nt copletely safe so always ue a condom. Even if you'r on birth control and dont get pregnant you have a huge risk of getting an STD, so use a condom!!!
Well i hope i helped but i would also talk to a doctor or go on health websites.
If its the right time you will know it and not have any second thoughts.
Hugs and kisses......
Claire
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You are such a wonderful person. You actually took the time to explain the situation, and how you feel about it. That helps when people are trying to write back.
Most people who have had sex say they wish they would have waited. I wish I would have. Maybe you'll marry this guy, maybe you won't. It will be more fun then than it will be now though, let me tell you. Staying a vergin these days is hard. Really REALLY hard. Everyone always talks about how fun it is, or how good it feels, or how much they love who they do it with. What people don't talk about is the morning after. Sex is a powerful thing, and the emotions that run through your head the next morning are incredible. You worry: "Did they have like it?", "was I good enough?", "Am I pregnant??" and much more.
Love is a very complicated thing. I suggest you spend at least 3 years with someone before you decide you want to have sex. There is such a thing as "puppy love". I hated it when people told me that I wasn't "in love", and that it was just puppy love. But that's what it was. Durring the first year to two years, you love some one, they are perfect, and if they are not, their shortcomings are not a big deal; you shrug them off. After those two years or so, you do begin to see their faults. All of em. If you decide THEN that you still want to be with them, THATS what love is... It can wait, at least 2 years...
I hope to hear back from you about what you decided to do...
Good luck, I hope all goes well with you...
-Evan.
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That is really awesome that you have a guy that wont pressure you into anything, thats important. As for when you are ready, maybe you arent because you are questioning yourself you know? but if you really like him and he means a lot to you and you both want to share the experience together, go for it, if you feel comfortable. i think when it comes right down to the moment you probably will have second doubts and you just have to give those a quick thinkover and make your final decision. ill let you know this im pretty sure it wont be pleasurable for you, i have always heard the first time hurts, and i cant speak from experience, sorry, but i have definitely talked about it with someone.
if you decide to go through with it please be safe! =)
♥BLAiR
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When you're ready, you will know. It's good that he's not pressuring you into anything. When you are ready, you should feel a little nervous, just as anyone would.
The amount of pain depends on how "tight" you are there and how big he is. The tighter you are and the larger he is the more pain. You won't bleed profusely. Odds are you may not even bleed. If you do, it's not much at all.
The best thing to do is to talk to him about it, the more you two talk about it the more ready you will feel because you'll feel more comfortable.
I'm not going to say that you're too young. Because I know what it's like to be 15 and in love. The way I see it, sex is something to be shared with someone that you TRUELY love and care for, and same for them. You two have been together for a while, and you clearly love eachother. So, don't listen to anyone when they say you are too young. When you're ready to do it, don't let anyone stop you.
Of course, you'll get the normal lecture on getting pregnant. So ALWAYS protect yourself. If you aren't on birth control, consider going on it. You can ask your mother to go on it to help with cramps and to keep your period on a normal schedule. If she doesn't let you ALWAYS wear a condom. You CAN get pregnant from precum. So, if you aren't on birth control, use a condom. Hell, even if you are on birth control still use a condom. The safer, the better.
Best of luck to you and yours.
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well you will know when its the right time you will feel it in your heart and yes it will hurt since your hole is not wide yet and i think a dick never went inside you , you might bleed but if you ever have sex wear a condom and make sure you are ready and ye you will feel pain but once you get into it it wont hurt well write me back and tell me what you think
Love Always: Tanisha
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If you want to have sex with him then go for it! Just be prepared:
Go to your family doctor, or make an appointment at Planned Parenthood to get some birth control pills. The doctor you see will be a good person to tell you about STDs and what you can expect from your body if you have any questions about those things. No matter how safe you feel with your boyfriend ALWAYS have him WEAR A CONDOM.
Birth control pills will probably be enough to prevent pregnancy, but they're not 100% preventative, and they definitely don't protect you against STDs. Condoms prevent pregnancy 99% of the time and are very effectual in preventing the transference of STDs.
Not everyone loses their virginity with someone they love, so you'll have a much better experience with your boyfriend than the average sexually active teen. As long as you're really turned on and relaxed with your boyfriend it won't hurt much. Just make sure you have lots of foreplay so you get really wet and have him go nice and slow until you relax and are ready to really go for it!
There is no way to "screw up" as long as you're safe, so don't worry. There's no reason to feel self-conscious during sex, because sex is all about doing what feels gooooood. Sex is great, especially with someone you care a lot for. If you and your boyfriend are close you'll be able to experiment with each other and have a lot of fun. It's honestly not as big of a deal as you think, and most kids have a little bit of disappointment after the first time. Even if it's not great the first time it'll get better when you're more comfortable with it.
The bleeding is different for everyone. I didn't bleed at all, but I know people who did. If you're really worried about it just lay down a dark towel ahead of time, but it's very little bleeding on average.
Have fun and stay safe!
Carollani
Did yours make it in today?
www.queries4carollani.blogspot.com
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Nobody can tell you if you're ready--that's all up to you. I'm not going to tell you not to do it, because I'm sure you're capable of making your own decisions. I'll tell you how to know if you're ready--if you have to ask, you're not ready! The day you can say without hesitation, "I'm ready to have sex." is the day you really are ready. If you have any doubts at all--even if you've already gotten your clothes off--back out. Always trust your instincts! Your boyfriend might be a little annoyed, but he sounds like a really great guy, and he should understand. How bad it hurts depends on how tight you are, how large his penis is, and how intense it is. Same goes for how much you bleed. You may NOT bleed, if you have already broken your hymen, which you can do by riding a bike. You probably will screw up. Remember the first time you rode a bike? Didn't you fall? It's the same thing here, but you'll get better. And you will get over it when you're really ready. ;-)
-Lea
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Ok, well first off let me tell you that 15 is a young age. Now it sounds like your bf cares about you a lot. It also sounds like he will be ok if you choose not to have sex at this moment. I cant tell you how to get over it, because it all depends on your mind, your body, and him. Listn, when your ready you'll know, trust me on that. Theres deff. gonna be pain, since its your first time. But before you run off and have sex answer this to your self: 1. is he relly the love of your life? 2. do you want to lose your virginity so him? 3. will he leave once he gets it from you? 4. are u ready for the possible public humillation. Having sex will have a public effect too. If he tells his friends they tell theirs and it will get around. What about your paretns....think of them to. What do they think and if you do it on your own. and they find out..then what..write back if you ned further help
hope i helped you
KC
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I'm going to give you some sites because they will say it much better than I could. :)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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And an excellent source of all things for teens...
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