about

"Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all those who live without love" - Albus Dumbledore

Hi, I'm Laura. I'm a senior in college & I'm slowly deciding what I want to do with my life. I love Harry Potter, coffee, writing, and sleeping (amongst other things). I'll never claim to know everything, but I'm confident in my ability to help people with their problems. Feel free to send me an inbox question; I'll get back to you!




A few thoughts I've gathered from my teenage years (and being on this site for most of them!):
1. If you Google song lyrics, the song will come up 99% of the time.
2. Dress to fit your body type, and buy the size that fits. If you're a size 6, squeezing into a 4 won't make you look skinnier. It makes you look fat when you aren't.
3. You will never regret waiting to lose your virginity.
4. There is such a thing as a stupid question, but we're all allowed to ask them.




BU 2014 :)


wicked awesome conversations

^my forum, liven it up a little?

advice

17/f me and my boyfriend have been dating for two years and I want to switch things up a bit try some new things make him happier. I'd really like some med advice but girls r welcome to anything helps.

We cannot give explicit sex advice on this site because of underage users. Google, magazines, and your imagination are all excellent resources for what you are seeking.


-LM
[20/f]

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18/f
Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a little over a year now and we have a pretty good relationship(: The only thing is that he friend requests a lot of girls on facebook. It bothers me that he does this but i see it when i get on his facebook sometimes. If he isn't trying to get with other girls, then why does he keep adding them? He friend requests them.

You haven't given us a lot of information. From what I can gather with what you DID tell us, you're jealous that he has Facebook friends that happen to be female. If you're so insecure in your relationship that you only want him to be friends with guys, there's something else wrong here. Believe it or not, he might just be adding them as friends because he's friends with them. People are often friends with both sexes; this is normal.


If, however, he's being shady about it, hiding the fact that he has a girlfriend, etc, then you can ask why he's dating you if he is still interested in acting single.


-LM
[19/f]

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I am 18 years old almost 19(female) and my ex-boyfriend is 20. My ex-boyfriend and I were dating for six months, and he recently broke up with me because he wanted to focus more on his fraternity. I know that he definitely still has feelings for me and still loves and cares about me. My question is, what can I do on my end to try to make things work? It has been especially hard because we were extremely close and he was my best friend. Now that we have been broken up, we barely talk or see each other. I just want to know how I could increase the chances of us getting back together, without being pitiful.

Just don't be clingy. Stay friends and don't try too hard about trying to get back together. If you two are meant to get back together you will.

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Who knows of some good mood music, you know for getting in the "Mood"? Like Billy Joel's just the way you are, 80s style love songs like that. It's kinda a joke towards my girlfriend cause she listens to that type of music and I don't so I have no idea where to start looking for that. If anyone could give me a list or find one on the internet somewhere that would be sweet. Thanks

Barry White!

http://www.popthomology.com/2010/10/tmi-five-awful-80s-songs-about-sex.html

Here's a list that spand decades, but you'll find what you're looking for:
- http://www.popeater.com/2009/11/17/sex-songs/


-LM
[19/f]

[view]

i Like Him But He has A Girlfriend / ?

Well, this is quite vague...


Anyway, back off. You don't want to be the person to break up a couple just to be with the guy. That's a wicked bitchy move. Also, if you try to hook up with this guy to make him like you, leave his girlfriend, and start dating you, who's to say he wouldn't do the same to you?


Anyway, I'm guessing there's more to this story. Be more specific and my advice will be too! :)


-LM
[19/f]

[view]

My boyfriend promised me he wouldnt drink because i felt uncomfortable about it, said he went on vacation with his friends , and his friend gave him alcohol mixed with another drink, i think it was pepsi, i dont really know anything about alcohol, but he said that he drank by mistake, didnt know it was alcohol and that it wasnt his fault, and as soon as he realized how strong it was and that it was alcohol he didnt drink it, i dont know if hes lying, cause when i asked if he drank he said if he were to drink hed get wasted, hes the type of guy thats like "If you wanna do something wrong,do it right" so he said if he really wanted to do it he would have done more, and it was a mistake it could happen to anyone, my question is, can u really not tell the diff? or is he lying to me?... thank you..

Yes, it's possible. Vodka, for example, is supposed to be almost tasteless (expensive brands, anyway) so it's pretty easy to mix it with something else. Ever heard of jungle juice? Well, if you're ever at a party and are offered some, don't drink it. It tastes like punch but it's actually a TON of alcohol and juice mixed together and gets you drunk wicked fast.


So yeah, it's entirely plausible that your boyfriend drank from what he thought was Pepsi and didn't realize for a few sips it was mixed with something. I'll give your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt here, for a few reasons:
1. If there wasn't much alcohol/something high quality, it could have tasted like a flat Pepsi or just plain Pepsi even. Coke is a popular drink mixer (rum and coke, jack and coke) and its taste covers a lot of things..
I can't imagine beer going unnoticed, but mixed with cola, it might be. I'm really not sure on that one 'cause I've never had it in any form(I am repulsed by the smell of it, haha). I doubt it was beer, because as alcohol goes it's ineffective as a mixer (12 ounces of beer = 1.5 ounces of liquor like vodka, rum, etc).
2. If he was eating something spicy, the burn or aftertaste of the food may have covered the burn of a strong alcohol
3. He stopped when he realized there was alcohol in it.
and most importantly..
4. He told you about it.

I really think that if he wanted to get drunk and ignore your wishes, he would have. And he wouldn't have told you about it because you wouldn't have found out (he was on vacation). I'd give him a pass this time.


HOWEVER. If this becomes his story every weekend, I'd start being suspicious of his actions :)


Side story, this actually happened to a friend of mine. He was sick with a sore throat and eating a spicy meat lover's pizza. His friends poured his glass with half Sprite, half vodka. He drank the whole thing without realizing anything, because his throat already hurt and he could barely taste anything. Only about 20 minutes later, when the vodka really started to affect him, did he realize he had just had four shots along with a soda. (His friends thought someone had told him it was a mixed drink...)


SO. Like I said, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt this time.


-LM
[19/f]

[view]

my boyfriend wants me to touch his cock bt m afraid what to do?

If you're not ready, don't do it. He shouldn't force you into doing anything.

If you're just afraid in the sense that you have no idea what to do, ask what he would like you to do.


-LM
[19/f]

[view]

How do i write letter to my boyfriend's mother?

We're going to need a lot more information to answer this without sounding sarcastic...


A few ways:
- Email
- Envelope and stamp
- Carrier Pigeon
- Telegraph


Why are you writing a letter as opposed to talking? Is she overseas? A letter would be much appreciated! Send away, being careful to obey customs laws and apply proper postage.


If you're afraid to tell her something, writing a letter isn't ideal, but it's better than not telling her at all. Maybe be over their house and leave it on top of the pile of mail on the counter.


-LM
[19/f]

[view]

Theres this guy I see around the neighborhood. I really like him. The first time I saw him was in the laundromat. I thought he was so gorgeous. I couldn't stop staring at him though I didn't let him catch me. He kinda talk to me a little but he left before I did. Now I see him from time to time. We make a lil eye contact but not much else. When I see him I get so nervous. Does he like me what should I do?

Well, I'm not this guy. Chances are, none of us on here are either. Of course, if that guy IS a user on Advicenators, sees your question, and asks you out as a result, you two would have a wicked cool story to tell at your wedding.


I'll be honest, though, right now he's the guy you met at the laundromat and talked to a few times. And you think he's gorgeous. To him, you're a girl he's spoken to when doing his laundry and see around town. Who knows, he might think you're gorgeous too.


Next time you see him, ask his name (if you haven't already). Introduce yourself, maybe in a clever way, if you haven't yet haha. What's the extent of your conversations? Are you friends? Do you know him well enough to know he's the kind of person who would appreciate a corny pickup line? There's a few related to laundry/being out somewhere/be creative and make one up/there are entire websites devoted to this:
- Let's make like fabric softener and Snuggle.
- I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?


Be direct. Ask if he wants to get coffee sometime, or dinner. Being bold is usually a good idea. Subtlety is lost on guys for the most part. Besides, you've got nothing to lose, right?


-LM
[19/f]

[view]

how do i get a guy to noticee me ?

Stop trying.
Seriously.


Just be your normal self, get involved with clubs at school/sports/after school things, whatever. Talk to coworkers (if you're working) and go out with your friends. Don't try to get a guy's attention just for dating. You'll discover (if you haven't already) that some of your best friends can be of the opposite sex, because they give a different point of view on life.


If you're dressing provocatively and/or acting like an airhead and thinking it's cute, you're probably going to attract the wrong kind of guy. You want someone to like you for who you really are, right? :)


-LM
[19/f]

[view]

I Need Help. My boyfriend calls me all these cute names, and I only call him "Babe" I want to call him more. Any suggestions?
( We're a young couple, like teens, and, I don't want to call him 'Hun' because that just sounds like what an older couple would call each other..)

- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWVfG2mA8Rc


YOU SPARKLY CUPCAKE MOUSE.
Anyway, the best way is to be creative. A lot of guys aren't always huge fans of constantly being called sweetiepants. My friend calls her boyfriend her "love muffin" among other things, all based on inside jokes between the two of them.


-LM
[19/f]

[view]

im 18/f hes 19/m

well i like my bestfriend and were hanging out at his house again tomorrow, except this time we have no idea what to do. everytime i go over his house we play video games, watch movies, go for walks, play at parks, go to the shops, go on drives. And we never have any idea of what else to do, considering we hang out for 10+hours.

do you have any suggestions of things we could do? we're both limited on money and he says the balls in my court for whatever we want to do. but i just cant think of anything we havent already done! haha. we need to do something different considering we do the same thing all the time and its becoming very routine haha. he wont tell me what he feels like doing cause he says he'll be happy with whatever i decide. i just cant think of anything! help?

Are you both in college? Many places have free admission with a college ID. Ask around! the MoFA in Boston does that :)


Look up places near you on Yelp, and explore them. Look up random landmarks on Wikipedia, and go there. Take pictures or something. Drive somewhere new. Yea, gas is expensive, but it's still cheaper than a lot of things, so take a road trip.


-LM
[19/f]

[view]

My girlfriend is excited because het favorire actor has a new movie and she wants to go see it but I'm worried because she cries everytime she watches hs movies. What can I do to comfort her down if she starts crying ?

Just watching the movie with her should be enough. Maybe cuddle with her, put an arm on her shoulder (probably are already doing that anyway...)


Honestly unless there's something seriously wrong with her, she'll stop crying when the movie is over, haha. Lots of people cry during movies, especially if they are easily attached to people or characters.


My dad may or may not have cried after being forced to watch the Notebook. Just saying. =)


-LM
[19/f]

[view]

im a 16 yearold boy, and there are alot of girls at my school who were tops that are too short, and it shows off their stomach/hips. For some reason i have some kind of obsession with girls' hips, and when they show them off like that i get turned on as hell. i dont even get turned on by their breasts or ass, but whenever i see like a nice, tanned, waist line, i get so damn horny. Is this considered normal? A fetish>?

Totally normal. You're a guy, and you're attracted to the female body. Of course that's normal! Anyway, it's probably a reflection of a desire for a fit, toned body in the opposite sex. Any girl (well, most...) will have breasts and a butt, but it takes effort and work to get a nice, toned stomach area :)


-LM
[19/f]

[view]

I don't know what to do with him! I found out from my bff that my bf made a facebook group thing about our relationshp. I went and red a few things on it and it is personal and nothing anybody should know but us so I told him I knew he had a secret he was keeping from me but not what it was so he would tell me or something but he didn't. i kinda thought that he posted stuff and didn't think it was bad and I wanted to give him chances to say so but he just said he didnt have no secrets so i went back to read the rest and he had made it private only so now it is hidden from me.

I guess what I am asking is if he didn't think this was wrong why did he hide it when i found out? He still denies everything and now i got no proof because i cant see it anymore!!! i have been crying about this and i feel betrayed like he has a secret life on facebook or something! should i stay with him if he isn't going to be honest and still hides things?

Sorry if this is too long!

I wouldn't put up with that. There seems to be a lot of dishonesty going on here and you can't be in a (good) relationship with someone you don't trust.

Ask your best friend to show you this group, see what's atually written, and then decide from there. See if he's actually writing anything, it might be a bigger group than you realize, etc etc. You should have all the information before making a decision.

Good luck

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thanks hunny.
but unfortunaley they havent called me.
i think am just going to move on and apply somewhere else :(


- hey i have another question? you know the ipod touch that just came out 2010. well can you text on that ipod ..?? and also do you still need wifi to be able to text.? i dont know if you can tell me this information, but if you can it would be helpful.
thank you :)

Yeah you need wifi... so you'd have to be in a wifi hotspot on at someone's house with a network you can connect to. My friend used to text me on hers, there's apps for that :)


Sorry about the job... maybe you can call and ask for an update.

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18/f -sorry if this is really long, but i really need some advice!!

Last week, I was on vacation (close to home) and I met this guy there; he is younger than me but definitely on the same level as me. He lives about 20 minutes away from me. He is actually one of the most interesting and mature teenagers I know. I have never met anyone like him and I really want to spend more time with him because of this. We ended up hanging out the entire day and night that we first met. We also made plans to hang out again. I REALLY like him as a person, and i'm also pretty attracted to him. Since we met, I cannot stop thinking about him.

Here is what the problem is. When I met this guy, I was in a year-long relationship with this other guy. After I got home from vacation, nothing felt right with my then-boyfriend. I didn't break up with my boyfriend specifically because I met this new guy (there are other reasons that our relationship was going downhill, but meeting this new guy made me realize that I need to get out of my relationship.) Things are fine with my (ex)boyfriend now; we've decided to be friends and as hard as it is to let go of him, I know that I will be happier if we are friends.

When I was hanging out with the guy that I really like (that I met on vacation) he knew that I had a boyfriend, yet I could definitely feel the chemistry between us. I don't want to initiate anything though, because I don't want to freak this guy out or assume that he wants to be with me. After all, he could be a huge player; I don't know because I only hung out with him for one day (even though I feel like I've known him forever, and I didn't get a huge player vibe.) I don't even know if he likes me for sure. He might just think of me as a friend.

Some of the things that he did while we were hanging out made me think that he was into me. First of all, the fact that he gave me his number.

I didn't ask him for his number; he asked me for my phone and he put his number in my phone. To me this is significant because my friend (that was visiting me while I was on vacation) wrote him a flirty note with her number in it before she left, and he tactfully declined once she was gone.

Other things: In the middle of conversation, he said, "I'm not coming onto you, but you're pretty." and while we were on the beach, he carved me this stick and told me to keep it forever. And he took pictures of himself with my phone so that "i won't forget him." When it was cold during the night and I was wearing a teeshirt, he gave me his sweatshirt. His friend and I were making plans to hang out again, and he said not to go without him. And when we had to leave, he gave me a huge hug.

I get it that this guy thought I had a boyfriend, so I shouldn't jump to conclusions and think that he's in love with me. I get that.

What I'm worried about is that once he gave me his number, he told me to text him and say "hey it's (my name)." So i did text him that day. And I told him that I did, but he said that his phone was off because when we were on vacation we both had pretty bad service. Then right after he got back from vacation, he went to skateboarding camp for this week.

I never got a text back from him. I added him on facebook and myspace, but he accepted me without saying anything. I really want to hang out with him before this summer ends, (and there's not much time because school starts soon) but I don't want him to think that I'm desperate, so I haven't texted him since. I don't know what to think.

I feel like if he really liked me, he would have at least texted me back when I sent him that message that day.
On one hand, he could be thinking that I don't want to talk to him because I have a boyfriend. (I haven't talked to him since, so he doesn't know that we broke up) Maybe he just isn't a big texter. Or maybe he's a huge player and doesn't REALLY want to see me again. There's so much going through my head that I don't know what to think. What do you think? Could there be a reason that he hasn't texted me? Should I text him again? I was thinking that I could text him now that he's back from skateboarding camp and ask him if he still wants to hang out and mention specific places that we said we wanted to go with each other.

In my mind I'm kind of obsessing over this, but there's no way I will show him that I am in any way obsessed. What should I do?? And what do you think is going through his mind?

Thank you so much.

I'd send him a message on facebook. Keep it somewhat short (in other words, he doesn't want a novel showing up in his inbox) and ask how skateboarding camp was. Mention a couple places to hang out, and give him YOUR number too :]


This way, if he's still interested (at least a little) he'll have the option of checking your profile for your relationship status, pics of a boyfriend, etc. Neither of you seem stalkerish this way =P and no I'm not saying you were haha.


If you do indeed hang out again, the conversation will eventually lead to your (now ex)boyfriend. Make it clear that the two of you are broken up & that you're single now :]


If after attempting to contact him, and it's obvious he's read it, he probably saw what you "had" as a harmless little thing. Again, it's difficult to know for sure, because sometimes guys just don't text back. Or they forget, erase your message before saving your number, crush their phones at skateboarding camp. You know. Normal occurences.


Good luck :)

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Hi, I am an 18f. So my boyfriend is coming over; he is the same age. Since I have a fractured foot, I was wondering if you have any ideas of how we can make our time more interesting together instead of just hanging out watching movies.. you know? Any ideas would be appreciated, thanx!

Awwwwuh. It's cute he's taking care of you. Oh and if he isn't, make him :] That could be fun by itself, haha. But be sure to take care of him when HE needs it of course.... it's only fair!


How immobile are you? Could you limp to a movie or out to lunch? If not, and you're not opposed to being pushed around, ask people you know, or even your doctor, if there's a transport chair you can borrow. It's a wheelchair without the push thingies on the wheels, so someone else pushes you. That could enable you to go places if that's an option. [They also fold up flat, so they can fit in a regular car]


Other ideas:
- Bake something
- Have him reorganize the furniture in your room (with his input of course so it's not like slave labor)
- Order terrible, cringe-worthy free movies on demand. Make fun of the acting.
- Create a fort in the living room & make popcorn. Tell stores.
- Watch each other's favorite shows.
- Read together. Anything from a novel to Seventeen works. My guy friends love reading Cosmopolitan out loud... men :)
- Sit and talk. What a crazy concept in today's world ;]
- Play Rummy, Dominoes, Go Fish, 4 Kings in the Corner, etc. The rules for these can be found online; I'm a bit rusty on a few of them so I'm not much help.
- Have a picnic. If you can't walk at all, maybe he can carry you outside? Also, sitting on the ground makes having your leg out less awkward.
- Make up good stories as to how you broke your foot (if there isn't already a good one)


Oh and pleaseeeee, if you have the chance, go to a store and use one of those motorized carts! Short of working at a store and being given the task of returning them to the front, this is your only chance to use one without getting in trouble. They're fun to drive around :]


Hope you heal soon! =D
-LM
[18/f]

[view]

I need to break up with my long-dist relationship boyfriend. We've been dating 7 months. There's no real reason to break up except..I sent him a pic that wasn't me. I know, I know. I'm too ashamed to tell him the truth, and I'm supposed to be 'visiting' him in a month. I need to end it, what do I say? I don't want to hurt his feelings, so nothing like 'I don't love you anymore' or whatever.

I was thinking of saying something along the lines of my dad disapproves, and I have to end it with you, or he'll kick me out or something. I know, just lying more. But seriously, I just want to get out of this now, it's my own fault and I know now to never do it again. Any help would be appreciated, thanks.

A lie on top of another lie? Sooner or later he's going to find out. I'm sort of confused by the situation; have you never met this guy before? because otherwise he'd have to know it wasn't you in the picture. If this was a purely online thing, it's highly likely that your parents WOULDN'T approve, so that'd be a legitamate reason.

If this is actually a guy you knew already, try to tell him it wasn't actually you and you're sorry for the deceitfullness. You could also tell him that things aren't working out between you anymore because of the disance (which seems to be true).

If I misinterpreted your question, please clarify in a new question. Good luck!

-LM
[18/f]

[view]

well i am falling for this guy, and spend alot of time at his house,and im worried that we might lose contol one night and i don't want to end up pregnant. but how do i tell my mom i want to be on birth control and still be able to see him?

Depends on how close you are with your mom.
One of your options is to tell her you want to be protected in the future and for anything that could happen. Another option is to ask her if you can go on the pill for other reasons, such as regulating your cycle, lessening the severity of acne, et cetera. Your last option would be to get it from a clinic in your area, but you probably wouldn't be able to use your parents' insurance (if they have it) if you chose that option.


Anyway, until you're on the pill (and even afterwards, ideally, because no method of birth control is 100% foolproof) you should have condoms on hand. You can buy them anywhere and there's no age limit. Use a self-checkout if you're really self-conscious about it. Know how to use them and have one with you whenever there's a possbility of the two of you having sex. That way, there's no excuse not to use protection.


Hope I helped. Inbox me if you need more assistance :)

-LM
[18/f]

[view]

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