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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
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I'm pissed as I can be. I'm wondering if I'm wrong.
I'm a woman in love with a guy. He says he loves me too. Blah blah.
Anyways he gets sexy photos from me and all. But his page is covered with photos of nearly naked women.
He recently followed on his Instagram a page of girls sending private selfies. He also follows porn stars and of course my Instagram is covered with these photos. I've confronted him about this and he tells me to stop being jealous because they are other beautiful women in the world and he can look all he wants. And I can't say or do anything... It pisses me off. I don't think that this right. Especially since we are talking about getting married.
Let me ask. Am I paranoid or is he just a lustful idiot? Pardon me. But I think he has a problem. He seems to be getting worse. Everyday my "photos you may like " page are getting more explicit. I'm not happy. Fine. I understand they are pretty girls in the world. But he seems to want more and more of these type of women and he likes to look and look and look. It disgusts me.
I can't bring it up again. But it bothers me.
What is it going to be like when we get married? Is he going to sleep with me and then go look at half naked girls on the internet? Looking at close ups of boobs and asses? It bothers me. And I can't do much here. But honestly. I think he has a problem.
How do I handle this?
I understand where you are coming from and you are not wrong but you are also not right. If he is just looking and coming and sleeping in your bed with you there is nothing wrong with it.
As my wife of 44 years, come this July, told me on the day we married. I can look at the menu all I want. But if I ever decide to reorder she would cut a very important part of me off.
Lets face it both men and women like to look at good looking people. There is more smut or pornography out their for men to look at because this is the way men are wired. I'll get kicked out of the men's club for saying this but men are cads. We look at women in many different ways. One of those ways is through pornography as both an art form and a stimulus. Most of us just look probably better than 95%. of us. Meaning we look and maybe we lust but we go home each night to sleep with and make love to the women we chose to spend the rest of our lives with.
Even former President Carter admitted that he lusted over Playboy Centerfolds, which back then was as risqué as it got.
Porn can have its place in his life and yours too if you will allow it. It is nothing against you and I fairly positive he is not comparing you to them. Your real, you he can reach out and touch, taste and make love to. The pictures are just fantasy and a healthy sex life includes fantasy.
I'm not saying you have to like porn or even like the fact that he looks at porn. I'm saying he is not dishonoring you by doing so; at least based on what you have written.
HI, I'm 13 years old. My parents won't buy anything for me or even let me buy anything with my own money, I don't know what to do. My parents say they don't want to spoil me and say that I'm a brat just for asking. But also, how will I learn to manage money if I can't make a mistake while learning how to. I only have 43 dollars and I've been saving that up like my whole life, and when I ask my dad for something and present him with the money, he thinks I stole the money. PLEASE HELP.
It would help to have more information such as what are some of the things you want to purchase. It would also help to know why your dad thinks you stole the money.
While I can't directly address your question as to why your parents tell you know. In a sense you did answer your own question in what you wrote. You wrote, how will I learn to manage money if I can't make a mistake while learning how to."
Every parent; parents differently. It is unfortunate but you guys don't pop out of your mothers with handbooks like new cars come with. We as parent learn on the job, so to speak, as to how to parent. It is harder with the first child and gets easier with the second child. Unfortunately the older child is the one who we learn with so they suffer the most and the second and others get to sail right through from what we learn from the first. It is wrong and the fact is we know it and most of us do try to compensate for it, some don't.
Back to your question; your dad may think he is teaching you how to manage your money by saying no to things you want to buy with your own money. Being an adult he may not see the need or the benefit of what you want. Therefore he say's something like; "you don't need to waste your money on that." As someone who has made his living in sales I can tell you if the person you are trying to sell something to does not see a need or benefit to what you offering they won't buy.
If this is the case with your father then my first recommendation would be. You need to show your dad why you need not just you want it. You also need to show him there is some benefit to why you want to make this purchase. Under those heading don't go up to him as say, "I want it because every other kid in school has it." "Doing so will probably get you know where with your dad.
My second recommendation is find out why your dad thinks you have stolen this money. IF you can prove to him how wrong he is then do so. If say some of this money came from cash birthday gifts write down on a piece of paper how much came from whom. Like $5 from Aunt on this occasion and so on. If you get an allowance and you put some away each week, write that down. It may add up to more than what you have and that is okay for you can also write down what you spend money on. Such as lunch at school; a slice of pizza after school, hamburgers or something when at the Mall with friends or other things you might spend small amounts of your own money on.
If your father thinks you stole that money then somewhere along the line you did something or he believes you did something that has caused him to mistrust you. It is unfortunate if he preserves' this mistrust. You are still the one that has to earn it back or prove to him he is wrong. If he is anything like my father was he will never admit he was wrong but will accept your apology or proof you did nothing wrong.
It is tough being teenagers especially a young teenager such as yourself. You’re not a child and you’re not an adult. You are what I call a tweener. People expect you to act like an adult but treat you like a child. Hang in there it does get better.
Since past 2 months, I have encountered difficult in breathing, fast heartbeat especially reach 11pm.I have encountered few times, awoke from sleeping and cant breath (just feel like dying). I tried to lie down, sit or stand but it just cant help. I feel like I am losing my breath in next second.This cause me worry when to night time. Hope can get advise, I am desperately looking for help.Thanks.
As we always say here, none of us are doctors. I have been a first responder with a Fire Department Rescue Squad. The fact that this is happening on a regular basis is disturbing and needs to be checked by a Cardiologist. The list of possible reasons start with anxiety and include a host of other problems.
Trouble breathing and a rapid heart rate at any time qualify as an emergency, even if you know they have self-corrected in the past, you should dial 911 and go to the hospital while it is happening. This gives the doctors the best chance of accurately diagnosing the problem if they can see it while it is happening. The paramedics can also do an EKG in the field while they are taking you to the hospital which also gives the doctors information they may not get if you have self-corrected before getting to the hospital.
Just how worry some or dangerous is this problem. As I said I'm not a doctor or am I a paramedic. If I was the first responder to respond to your 911 call though I would recommend strongly that you allow the paramedics, who are following me, to take your to the hospital when they arrive.
If you have insurance the cost of everything will be covered. If you do not have insurance you won't be turned away there are programs available to cover the costs. You are someone that needs to be seen at a hospital. Don't let how to pay cause you not to call 911. Payment is secondary to life saving and there are programs to cover the costs if you cannot pay.
Do I have a STD after I gave my new boyfriend a BJ and my throat is a little sore
Razhie's answer was very good. What you left out of your question and Razhie didn't touch on is how long after the sex act that an STI manifests itself. Like all infections STI's have an incubation time.
Since you didn't ask and it is important to your question I did the research for you. Below is a URL that will take you to a sight which will tell you the different incubation times for the different STD's.
Whether you have or don't have an STD starts with how long after the BJ the symptoms started. Also as Razhie said you could have irritated your throat if you gave him a prolonged BJ or if he came in your mouth his semen may have irritated your throat.
There is one other possibility which is coincidental to the BJ which is you were on the verge of getting a sore throat to begin with and it manifested right after you gave your BF a BJ.
Go to the URL below and read the information. Also if you are this concerned and over the age of 14 you can go to any women's clinic, any doctor's office and get tested.
http://std.about.com/od/overviewofstds/a/incubationper.htm
Thanks for your comments to my original question. But I haven't raped anyone. It was a lie by the person. They're just using it for attention and presents.
It is hard to answer this question without seeing the original question or knowing if I answered your original questions. There are facts missing her that are needed in order to advise you.
There are several different types of rape. There is statutory rape. This is when someone, usually an adult, has sex with a minor. Then some states also have clauses within this law covering age of consent and difference of age.
You can also be charged with rape if the person, who may be over the age of consent or even an adult, is unable to legally consent to sex. This would generally mean having sex with someone who is too drunk to give consent. You may think the sex is consensual bit the next morning the person you had sex with has, call it buyers remorse, and says they were too drunk to know what they were saying.
Rape can also be charged is the person you are having sex with withdraws consent during the act by saying no or stop and you do not. The sex may have started consensually but becomes rape if you don't stop when told to. This can be very confusing for a guy as some women will say stop or no when they really mean yes and others really mean no or stop.
Then of course there is violent rape as we know it to be.
If any of what I have detailed above fits your situation then it is unfortunate but even though the sex was consensual you may have violated the law and committed a rape. As the saying does the devil is in the details.
If none of the above fits your situation then it is unfortunate if the person claiming to be raped is fabricating the tale. For when it comes to sex crimes the innocence of the person accused has to be proven. With all other crimes the accused is considered innocent until proven guilty.
Hopefully this helps you better understand your situation. IF not write me back, you can do so in a private message, with the details of your situation. Knowing the details of your situation I may be able to give you better information.
Every body keeps on call ing me d.u.f.f. like what does it mean and why am I the duff
also is it posible to get pregnant with out haveing sex
Being of the older generation I'm not aware of what d.u.f.f. might stand for. It is always better when asking for help since many of us are of your parents or grandparents age to write your question out and not use acronyms we would not be aware of.
As to getting pregnant without sex? I am aware of only one person reported to have done so; that being the Virgin Mary. Scientifically speaking that is not possible. Sperm has to enter the vagina for a female to become pregnant.
This is possible if the male and female are dry humping and the male ejaculates close to the vagina. I say possible or better yet probable though more like not happening as the sperm first has to swim from wherever it landed. Find its way into the vagina then begin the long swim to the fallopian tube and find an egg. In theory it is possible but not likely. To many things are working against the sperm making the trip.
Is it bad to put too much pressure on yourself? That's a question that I am currently asking myself. I've been like this since after I graduated highschool, and started learning the lesson of adult life - failure.
Before my dad lost his job when I was 17, I had a privileged life growing up in my grandmother's household. One that involved basically getting everything that I wanted.
Granted, I never got designer clothing, like the other girls in my private school had - my mom always said that it was too expensive. Nor did the boys that I liked ever ask me out. I still got to go on yearly vacations, which averaged at three a year for a little while. Yet when I cried because I really wanted something, my parents or my grandmother always gave into me. When I wanted another dog after my father's dog died and I cried, my grandmother had my mom buy my sister and I another dog.
*I traveled from Hawaii to New York, and was going to do it again, but my mom convinced us to go to Puerto Rico instead. Most people around here have never been, because they claim that it's too expensive.
*I went to Disney World for three summers in a row, and five times in my life. My sister has been there more.
At the moment I have just entered my senior year of college. I still have two semesters left after this one, because I have chosen to engage in a double concentration of finance and MIS.
I became very depressed last summer. Mainly because I feel like I am above most people during my college successes. I have volunteered, I was a peer mentor (a role in which I was considered a student leader), the president of my history club, and now I am on the honors advisory board.
Up until last semester, when I got two A-s for the first time ever in my college career I had a 4.0 GPA, now I have a 3.93. The reason why that happened was because I was freaked out that I might have been pregnant with my boyfriend's baby. My body was acting really weird which turned into a yeast infection.
I didn't do that to brag. Primarily I am like that, because I push myself so hard. I study so much to the point where I do not have a life, out of fear that I will finally reach the point a failure. I will take 18+ credits and be sure to stay up all night just to get assignments done. Everyone in my family has voiced their concerns.
I will forget to turn in an important assignment, I will flunk a test, the chain of events will get too intense and I will lose my scholarship causing me to not graduate college.
Two professors who really liked me pointed this out. My history professor during my sophomore year of college, when I was getting ready to graduate with my Associates' Degree, a 4.0 GPA, and a member of Phi Theta Kappa.
I am just so driven to get things done and become successful. That's what I want a life, a future with my long-term boyfriend and success.
Is this bad? I just told my best friend that it will probably lead to me developing cancer, diabetes, and heart problems later on in life.
I am not a psychologist so this is primarily Psychology 101 boot strapping. It sounds like your a type "A" person. Some one who is driven to success and will not accept failure. By many standards you have had a very privileged life so far getting most everything you have desired including travel to far off wonderful places. All of this goes with the type "A" personality.
What your missing is failure. We need failure in our lives from which if we are luck enough to understand failure we learn from it. Unbelievable as it sounds failure is needed in our lives as part of learning. People with type "A" personalities will not accept failure and learn to move on. To them failure is devastating and that is the fear you are feeling.
You can change who you are but it will take work and I suggest you talk with a psychologist for help in doing so. For if you don't change the health fears you have will be come a reality.
Hey everyone, 18/f here
Background:
So, the cliche "best friend is in love with me" story happened to me. He's been my bestie for about two years, almost three. He's heard me out when I ranted about other guys, when I cried over getting cheated on, when I was stressed because I had to keep my grades up, and everything else. These past two months we talked more than usual, and I ended up catching feelings for him. I thought he just saw me as a friend but he confessed to having feelings for me for about a year. All our mutual friends knew except me, go figure. So we're dating and it's been great.
There's just one little problem. He's such a gentleman in so many ways and I love that. He wants to get married, buy a house, settle down. He believes that sex should only occur after marriage and while I think it's amazing that there's still men who think this way, I'm not sure I agree with him. He's catholic, not extremely religious but his beliefs are very old-fashioned. I am atheist, and I don't believe in marriage. While we're just teenagers, it seems like that could bring problems in the future. He knows what I am, and he's never said anything negative. The point is, I can't stop thinking about him in "unpure ways". It makes me feel silly to put it that way, but I keep having weird dreams and daydreams about him a in sensual/sexual way. It's starting to become a little obssesive. I mean, he doesn't even touch me other than holding my hand sometimes but that still makes me get all hot and bothered. We're both virgins, but I've had sexual contact with my ex. Could this be way I can't stop thinking about my boyfriend this way?
I can't tell exactly you why you feel this way other than it is natural for someone in true love to want to be intimate with the person they love. This is the way it is suppose to be, the way we procreate as a species, out of love not just for recreation.
Since he wants to wait until marriage and if this is the guy you wish to marry. Then the only thing I can tell you to do about this feeling is to masturbate and fantasize about him when doing so. This will at the very least release the sexual frustration you are feeling.
As for you being an atheist and him being a Catholic there can be a compromise her if indeed you wish to live together as couple. You can give a little on marriage and he can give a bit on the sanctity of marriage within the church by having a civil ceremony officiated by a member of the clergy if he wants. A civil ceremony is the only type of ceremony that a priest could perform for you two as you are not a member of the religion.
My wife and I are of two different religions. We were married by a Criminal Courts Judge who told us it was a life sentence he was giving us. It will be 43 years come this June and we are still serving that sentence.
You have no reason to feel perverted, your very normal especially for your age. You have several years ahead of you before you should even consider getting married. You need to finish High school and you booth should finish College before marriage is even considered. A lot can happen between now and then. For now just enjoy each others company. Enjoy the fact that he is a gentleman and treats you as the lady you are.
I just got my Forward Helix pierced on January 30th. I have had it for 4 days. Just recently it has started to itch,it only hurts when I touch it, it is swollen just a little, I have cleaned it as i was told. Tonight I ran a q-tip behind the back and got some crusty type stuff. I am just wondering and hoping that this is all part of the healing process. I know it takes time for it to heal. just hoping its not getting infected or my body is rejecting it!! So any advice will help. If it doesn't get any better I will contact my piercer I went to or my doctor.
We are not doctors so we can not make a diagnoses.
I would say if it hurts to touch and it is swollen on there is stuff forming a crust. This is not proper healing but the beginning of an infection. Make an appointment to see your doctor ASAP or go to one of the walk in clinics that have popped up.
Some first aid steps you can consider using until you see your doctor is to have mom or someone pour some Hydrogen Peroxide over the piercing and then put a good antibiotic first aid cream on it. You should probably do this twice a day and hopefully it will arrest the infection until you see a doctor. The Hydrogen Peroxide won't sting but it will feel cold.
Make sure not to get any of the Hydrogen Peroxide on your hair as it will bleach it and ruin those hairs.
My ex and I were in a long distance relationship for around 4 months. Since last 20 days or so he was distant and replied to my messages really late.. Usually after 2-3 days.
So I asked him what was happening... And he said, university was hectic and he said things are getting worse. I even asked him if it's this relationship or something else that was causing the problem. He said it's neither of it. But I realised hes doing this to get out of the relationship
I for some reason did not pursue him. I think my ego came in between and I didn't bother texting him again. He hasn't texted me in over 5 days now. I am moving on and don't feel like texting him. I don't think he even deserves to know that m moving on.I cannot text him first.
And he friends with my best friend and I see him online ( he said he's busy with university). So that's just proof enough that he doesn't want to face the music and tell me that he doesn't want to do this. So my question is Im just wondering why am I so indifferent to this? I mean the urge to text and call him just died so soon.
Is this a bad thing??
Long distance romances are hard to maintain therefore they rarely work out especially for young people who want to have an active social life. The expression out of sight out of mind fits very well to what you have written.
I remember when I was in the military and a guy would get a "Dear John" Letter. If they got all broken up over it they would be sent to see the Chaplin. The Chaplin's would generally say something to the effect of, "out of sight out of mind," as to the reason behind the letter.
Out of sight out of mind is probably why you’re not all broken up over this. That and the fact that the romance or his indifference towards you has taken a period of time and you have accepted the fact that something is amiss with him. So no I do not think this is a bad thing just something you saw coming and accepted.
What I do believe is you need to send him a Dear John text message letting him know it is over between for he might feel he has you on a string and can pull you up when he is home on break if he is in need of a date. Keep it short just let him know that you have moved on and do not wish to see him or hear from him when he is home on break. In other words put the final touch on this and have the last word.
Me and my boyfriend (both 22 years old) have been together for a little over 2 years and we have a great relationship there's just one thing that's bothering us. We get absolutely no privacy to be intimate, EVER! We are both still living home with our parents and someone is always home at each of our houses. We both work and saving money to get our own place but the state we live in is very expensive to do so and will take a decent amount of time. We maybe have sex twice a month and it's driving us crazy! Of course we thought of the idea of getting a hotel but how many times can we really do that? I'm just scared it will become a big problem in our relationship. Advice please !
You are both adults and as such entitled to all the freedoms of an adult which include a sex life. Now I'm much more liberal than most parents and most parents believe as I do that if you live under my roof you live under my rules.
What that means is certain common courtesies should be given and expected. Such as telling your parents when you expect to be home and if you're going to be late to call them. Why do you need to give them this courtesy? Because they are your parents and you live with them as such they will worry if you are not him when you say you will be.
As for having sex in your bedroom I can understand both you and your parents being a bit uptight about this and your parents maybe being unreasonable by saying not in our house. They have spent most of your life worrying about you and sex and pregnancy. Now that you're an adult it is hard for them to let go of what has been a major concern. Wrong yes, can they change their mind probably but it will take time. They know you are having sex they just don't want it thrown in their face.
Because my son screwed up his credit rating he lived part-time at home and part-time at his fire station. OF course at his fire station he could not have guests in his room, that was reserved for the nights he was home. He fixed the basement into an apartment for himself and yes we knew when he had a girl down there they were sleeping together and were having sex.
Being the parents of the boy it is a little easier to accept your son having sex in your him and as I said my wife have always been very liberal in discussing sex with him. It might be easier to find or make some area of your boyfriend house into an area of privacy for the two of you.
My son turned the basement into his room. Yes the laundry room is down there and that posed a problem as he and at one time a girlfriend, a nurse, worked strange hours and would be asleep when my wife wanted to do laundry. Problem was solved by hanging a drape across the area he used for a bedroom. Sort of out of sight out of embarrassment for anyone.
I believe both parents know you two are having se. It would be foolish to believe otherwise, you're both adults and most of us engaged in sex before marriage so it would be hypocritical to try and stop you two. It is probably more of not in our face thing. Like I said it might be easier with his parent as he is the boy to carve out some space for yourselves in their home as my son did.
Help me decide what to do. I have no assets except a beat up van. I’m renting to own a rundown house that needs over $30K in work- new roof, new plumbing, new flooring (seriously the floors are currently particle board and luan). I have two girls, 14 and 13. I have over $24K in credit card debt from my divorce/ ex-husband. The payment on this debt is $600 a month. Although I only make $2000 a month, I worked very hard for two years to build my credit so that I could buy this beat up house. My plan was to take out a home equity loan to pay off my credit card and fix up my house. Everything was lined up and I was going to close on my house. Then my plant closed and I am out of a job so I’m out of a job and can’t a loan.
My question is should I keep paying my credit card bill even though I’ll never be able to get another house loan for at least two years? Right now we can afford anything. No field trips, no new clothes, no school annuals, no cable or cell phones. We have nothing. My thoughts right now are to stop paying the credit card bills and get a nice apartment. I want my girls to at least have a few nice things while they are in high school. They only have a few years school left. Right now, they can’t even have a sleep over because the house is so run down. At least if I use that extra $600 a month I don’t pay towards credit card bills, they can go to a movie, have cell phone, get a school annual, go on field trips… do the things normal kids do. When they are grown and out of the house, I can try to rebuild my credit and get a house for my grandchildren. But right now I’m so tired of having nothing and being embarrassed because my girls don’t have anything either. They really don’t. Any words of wisdom?
I understand that you wanted out of a bad marriage. That does not mean you had to sit still and be raped and pummeled by your husband one last time just to get out of the marriage.
A first visit to a lawyer COSTS YOU NOTHING. This is when the lawyer evaluates your case. If there is a monetary award outside of child support; such as alimony, the lawyer will take his fee from part of this award. If the court does not award alimony you owe the lawyer nothing. This is called taking the case on contingency.
If say you used only his lawyer and his lawyer did not advise you to get your own lawyer. There may be sanctions against the other lawyer that can bring monetary awards to you. IF you waived your right to your own attorney then the other lawyer should have asked you to sign a waiver. If you didn't then it didn't happen.
You really should speak with an attorney and see where your legal standing is. There is no cost to do this and you could end up in a much better place for your children. IF you won't do it for yourself; do it for them.
I don't understand why you are shouldering the debt from your divorce ex husband by yourself. IF this debt was incurred jointly then he should be required to shoulder at least half the debt If you were to file bankruptcy the credit card company would go after him for the share they would have to write of depending on the type of bankruptcy you file.
I suggest you see a lawyer and discuss this. I have heard from many women who were not represented by their own lawyers in a divorce and got shafted. If this is you then see a lawyer most will see you the first time at no charge. IF they can help you and there is a recovery they can make for you they may take the case on contingency. Even if you were represented speak with a new lawyer to see if a modification of settlement can be done especially in the area of child support.
While you're with the lawyer discuss bankruptcy. To just stop paying your credit card bills is really the wrong thing to do. They will hound you from morning to night if you go in this direction. What you can do is pay them something each month, less than what they ask for, maybe 50% or 25% until your lawyer can work something out with them or you need to file bankruptcy protection.
Given the economic times we have been through bankruptcy does not have the stigma it once had. As many people with excellent credit ratings suddenly found the need for protection in this manner. I happen to know a Police Officer who had to do so and within two years she was able to buy a home and in less than six months she was able to finance a new, brand new car.
My suggestion is to talk to a lawyer.
Hi! I'm a transgender teen (female to make) I haven't come out or anything yet but I know I'll have to. I asked another question in regards to coming out a few days ago, but this is a whole different topic. I'll obvioudly have to pick a name when I transition. I've been considering Gabe, Ben, and Lance. But I feel SO guilty changing my name because my mother always talks about how ever since she was little she's always wanted a girl named Laura Grace and that's why she gave me, her firstborn daughter, that name. She always talks about how I "have the best name out of the bunch" ("the bunch" being my 5 other siblings). She's so proud of my name because it's a mix of her favorite boom character (Laura) and the grandmother who she always looked up to (Grace). She loves my name. Everytime I consider bringing up the subject of being caked something else, I feel a crushing guilt about how much my mother loves my name. How do I change my name in the future without crushing her? She has no idea that Im transgender and im afraid to take her daughter away.
I may have answered your last question. If I did I gave you some resources to call for help with your problem. These resources are still good for todays question and what I am about to ask you.
In your last question you mention you are 14 which puts you in the early stages of puberty and sexual awareness. Transgender is todays hot button of sexuality but it is not something you wake up one morning and say you are. Just lie being Gay or Lesbian being transgender is how you were born and you would have known this a long time ago.
You may not have known the word when you were say 4 or 5 but you would have known at that time that you were not like other little girls that you identified more with little boys. You would have been confused and most likely not have been able to express this to your parents. You would have been uncomfortable wearing dresses and fought with mom to wear pants.
Based on what you have written today and your last question my concern is you are confused on your sexual identity possibly a bit scared to be a girl sexually and not having any lesbian feeling you have settled on todays hot button, "Transgender".
"I'm not a psychologist and I could be wrong. I have been answer question on the website for a long time and my instincts tell me I may be right. About 85% to 90% of the time I am right based on the feed back I do get.
IF I am correct there is nothing wrong with being 14 and confused about your sexual identity. In todays world you are forced to identify with many things long before you need to. Knowing who you are sexually is something you need time to identify and grow into especially if you have nothing in your past to tell you that you are gay or lesbian or in the wrong body. You still have to learn to identify with your sexuality. Just knowing that physically you are a man or a woman and that you identify with your physical self does not mean you automatically know who you are sexually.
What I recommend is you first make sure you are truly Transgender and not sexually confused as I suspect you may be. To do this requires some courage on your part to ask you parents to allow you to see a psychologist who can help you sort this out. If you are truly transgender at some point if you wish to transgender you are going to need to see a psychologist anyway before you can have the surgery.
Once you are absolutely sure you are transgender and if you still need help with today's question. Contact the resources I have given you. They are far more qualified to help you with these questions then we are. You would not be the first person to have these problems and they will be able to offer suggestions.
What is the side effect of xasten
You should check with your doctor immediately if any of these side effects occur when taking dexamethasone:
More common •Aggression
•agitation
•anxiety
•blurred vision
•decrease in the amount of urine
•dizziness
•fast, slow, pounding, or irregular heartbeat or pulse
•headache
•irritability
•mental depression
•mood changes
•nervousness
•noisy, rattling breathing
•numbness or tingling in the arms or legs
•pounding in the ears
•shortness of breath
•swelling of the fingers, hands, feet, or lower legs
•trouble thinking, speaking, or walking
•troubled breathing at rest
•weight gain
So my parents and I have been pretty unhappy about where we have lived for awhile. Our house is nice and the neighborhood is as well, but being so close to family and all of the other things that have happened in this city have made it miserable. Every time I bring up moving they say that they will work on it, but they don't at all. Please help!!! disclaimer: no i am not a child who just wants her way, it is truly something that would benefit everyone. (as my parents have too much stress with work and family)
I know you mean well though I doubt you can convince your parents to move. The why of it has to do with circumstances you are probably not aware of?
Such things that come into the decision making process are:
1. Their jobs; how far can they move without jeopardizing their jobs with long commutes.
2. The cost of commuting to work; how does this affect the budget.
3. Their current mortgage. Is the house worth what is owed on the mortgage or less then what is owe on the mortgage. It is possible if your home is less than 10 years old your parents got caught up in the recent mortgage problems and may be what is called upside down on the mortgage.
4. Then there are schools and property taxes that have to be taken into consideration as well.
5. Are you living where you are because your grandparents need your parents close to them?
Unless we are forced to move for employment reasons it is not easy to make a decision to pick up and move. Then of course there are the actual costs of moving. You need money for the down payment on a new house which is 10 to 20 percent of the purchase price. Then there is cost of moving from one house to the other.
It is not as easy as it seems to just pick up and move. I'm sure life might be easier if you did move away from the family if they are the cause of the stress your parents are under. Moving though may not end the stress it may just add to it; something to consider as well.
You don't speak about the "other things" so I cannot speak to them. Since I don't know your age I cannot speak to why your parents say to you that they "will work on it." It just may be easier to placate you with that answer than to have an adult discussion with you as to why moving is not an option.
Your parents may also feel that why they are not willing to move is not something you need to know. The only way to find this out is to ask them directly. A question you may want to think about asking if you really want to know if your parents are dragging their feet on this suggestion or simply placating you with an answer and ignoring your suggestion.
I've been with my girlfriend for 8 months now and I think I am ready to actually do it with her she says she is ready but she always refuses I don't force her I love her very much I respect their I take care of her but as a person I believe it's Time, I im 16 and so is shewe are very mature so my question is how can I convince her to actually do it with her?
First you do not convince, beg or force a girl to have sex with you. Doing so is sexual harassment, possibly rape both of which is a crime that you can be charged with.
When a girl says no to sex it means no and you MUST stop asking or pushing her to have sex with you. You cannot say anything to the effect of, "If you love me you will have sex with me." To do so is sexual harassment.
You two may be very mature but being 16 is still too young to be having sex. There are many other ways to enjoy your sexualities short of intercourse more appropriate for your age that do not expose the girl to an unwanted pregnancy. Condoms are only 85% effective in preventing pregnancy. While those may be good odds in Vegas they are not good odds for 16 year olds in the bedroom.
I would suggest you stop trying to have sex with your girlfriend for at least another year or so. Stick to Fingering, hand jobs and blowjobs for now.
I am an 18 year old female interested in beginning some sort of relationship with my ex boyfriend's twin brother. My relationship with my ex boyfriend was fairly serious but we no longer speak and my feelings for him have subsided. However, I have recently become interested in his brother. I have also heard through the grapevine that his brother feels the same way towards me but is wary of the situation. How should I approach this?
You are not the first couple to have desires for an ex's sibling. Yes it will be awkward at first but if you and the ex are actually over each other there is no reason why you and the brother should not explore a relationship.
Sure in this day and age it is very possible that you and the ex may have a sexual knowledge of one another. How would this be different than dating the ex of say one of your girlfriends who may also have sexual knowledge of the guy your now dating. This is the only area I can see where there would be any type of stumbling block between you and the brother.
If you can both put this behind you then there is no reason not to date or even eventually marry. Everyone has a past; when two people get together the past is history and only their future together is relevant. I say go ahead and date the brother and see where it leads to. Being twins they could be very much alike or polar opposites.
So I am 17 my gf being 16 things are a little complex. So to cut the middle story out I am not gonna beat around the bush I want to take her virginity. I am a lesbian. She like the idea of sex and stuff it's just me penetrating her just turns her off. To answer questions. She is ready I am ready i am not used to dating virgins I have a strapon I wish to use with her it is named tiger she likes to give oral with tiger cause she knows I like it. Problems: she told me she rarely gets wet, we have done some things like dry hump I can come she has never came, what if she bleeds, what if she breaks up with me, where do I take her first time, what if I hurt her worse then normal, what is gonna happen,
Please help a baby lesbian out
No homophobia !!!!
The attached article is meant for guys but it will work just as well for you. Whether you're taking a girls virginity or a guy the mechanics are and the cautions are the same.
The name Tiger for your dildo makes me thing it may be an oversized one. This is where you have it over a guy. A guy can do nothing about the size of his penis bit try and be gentle. I would suggest you find a dildo that is average or under average size when taking your GF virginity as it will be a bit more comfortable for her.
Since she has a problem getting wet spend plenty of time on foreplay and use a lube such as KY Jelly, available at most drug stores, as an extra lubricant on the dildo.
Be patient not matter what you do the first penetration is going to hurt. Remember your first time, and she probably will bleed if her Hymen is still intact. This is normal.
Do not rush her into this. Make sure she is comfortable not only in where you are or the position and what you chosen to put her on. Make sure you are safe from being intrude upon. all of this will help lessen her anxiety and make for a better experience for her.
If you are patient and pay attention to her and her concerns the other things you worry about should not come to pass. Just remember what it was like for you and don't do the things you didn't like. Also on the first penetration stop and allow her to get accustomed to having something in her before you start humping on her.
http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Take-a-Girls-Virginity---A-Guide-for-Guys&id=5915601
Hi! I'm Laura (hoping to change my name to Ben or something more masculine though) and I'll be turning 14 in a few weeks! I'm a biological female but I'm wishing to become a male. I haven't said anything to anyone about it yet, but I have asked my parents if I can cut my hair, saying that ling hair is "too much work to maintain". They agreed.... That is until I told them just how short I wanted to cut it. I want to get it really short in the back with some bangs in the front or something like that. My mother supported my decision but my father is a whole other story. He said some thkngs that were meant to be hurtful like calling me a boy and asking if I wanted to be called luke now (keep im mind he wasn't asking if I wanted to be a boy in a supportive way or anything, he was mocking me). It hurt a little bit, but I have thick skin. He says I'm not getting it cut, and whatever he says goes. All of this happened about two weeks ago and I haven't brought it up since. What can I do? I hate my girly appearance and I know that if he won't even let me cut my hair, I certainly can't bring up the idea of transgender.
Lets start with there is nothing wrong with being Transgender. The problem is with your parents. I say this a someone one who is old enough to be your grandfather. Now my views on sex and sexuality are a lot more liberal than most parents or grandparents. I'm a lot more open minded than most for as I've taken the time to educate myself in this area.
You did not wake up one morning and say to yourself that you are a Transgendered person. You were born this way and have had these feelings just about since birth. When you entered puberty is when the full meaning of how your sexuality and your body didn't agree. Will you some day actually change your body to fit the gender you feel you are? That is something you will eventually decide. For now you have at least 4 years before you can even have that surgery although in two years if you wish you and start the process.
Below are home websites you should look at for help. The first one also has a hotline call. It is the Trevor project and it is there to help with just the type of problems you face. their number is 1-800-488-7386.
The second will take you to a page on another website that will give you some insight on how to approach your parent s and what you can do in the interim until they are ready to accept you as you are.
Don't be too hard on your parents for Transgender while not something new is in reality something that just recently has come to the attention of mainstream America and most of the rest of the world.
People your parents age and older do not know what to make of this. In general when we face the unknown we are distrusting of it, scared and in instances such as Transgender, Gays and lesbians we feel we did something wrong which scares us even more. Scientists and doctors are just now starting to look at the why and unlocking the reasons. It can be very confusing if you are not into accepting scientific conclusions which many my age and old are again untrusting of.
Your father sees you as his little girl. He wants to see you grown up and married with a family of your own. Even still if you were to grow up and have a family of your own (as a women) you would in his eyes always be his little girl.
This is how it has been forever with dads and their daughters. What you want to do in cutting your hair scares him without a reason for doing so. Talk to the people at the Trevor project and ask for their help in telling your parents for it is going to be harder for you to live a lie. The harder it becomes the more chance you will become depressed.
Depression is everything it is advertised as and not a place you want to go. I hope I have helped you.
http://www.thetrevorproject.org/
http://www.gay-therapy-ct.com/advice-for-transgender-teens.html
how do I tell a girl no to a date and that I'm a gay guy?
Should I assume you are still in the closet about your sexuality? If so and you are not ready to tell people your gay you don't have to tell this girl just to get her to stop asking you out.
Girls tell guys all the time that the guy is not their type when rejecting dates from them. I do not see a reason why a guy could not say the same thing to a girl. Now this may come as shock to a girl as it is expect a guy will date any girl who gives any hint that sex will be at the end of a date.
She may ask just what type of girl is your type. My answer to that would be in your instance, "I will know her when I see her." It is a non-committal answer for which there is no follow up question.
On the other side of the coin I do know several Gay and lesbians people who do go out with friends that are straight for an evening of fun and companionship. If course the people I know are aware the other is gay or a lesbian and the evening is purely that of friendship there is no sexual expectations at the end of the evening.
If you know this girl and believe she would keep your confidence and would like to have a nice evening with her as a companion. Then you could tell her you’re gay, though not for the reason to not date but to keep her as a friend. It is entirely your choice there is nothing that says you need to tell her or you have to accept a date to keep your sexuality a secret.