|
Transgender Teen
Hi! I'm Laura (hoping to change my name to Ben or something more masculine though) and I'll be turning 14 in a few weeks! I'm a biological female but I'm wishing to become a male. I haven't said anything to anyone about it yet, but I have asked my parents if I can cut my hair, saying that ling hair is "too much work to maintain". They agreed.... That is until I told them just how short I wanted to cut it. I want to get it really short in the back with some bangs in the front or something like that. My mother supported my decision but my father is a whole other story. He said some thkngs that were meant to be hurtful like calling me a boy and asking if I wanted to be called luke now (keep im mind he wasn't asking if I wanted to be a boy in a supportive way or anything, he was mocking me). It hurt a little bit, but I have thick skin. He says I'm not getting it cut, and whatever he says goes. All of this happened about two weeks ago and I haven't brought it up since. What can I do? I hate my girly appearance and I know that if he won't even let me cut my hair, I certainly can't bring up the idea of transgender.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Doesn't Fit Any Of These Categories?
Yeah i say try to understand where your parents are coming from like the other poster said. this is a whole new thing for them. alot of parents dont expect their kid to grow up to be anything but normal. I say give them some time to digest one thing at a time. from you changing your hair style to your clothing choices and so on. take it slow so that they will be able to see where this is headed and that your obviously leaning more toward acting and dressing like a male.
then one day in a couple of years from now, as the 3 of you are sitting and talking you can try to break it to them that you feel uncomfortable living like a girl and everytime you try to put on female clothes you feel ridiculous and not like yourself. again give some more time to let this digest, if your mom is more understanding about this then lean more on her for support with this issue then your dad.
Your mom would probably be more honored that you would confide in her with such things as a mother to a daughter then anything else because your letting her in and trusting her with your feelings.
she might try to say "oh your still young you just need time to adjust to being a woman" or whatever but she will continue to see that your not "adjusting" and as time goes on she will understand and will talk to your dad about it in the best way she knows how. If theres anyone you can get on your side to try to root for you when it comes to this its your mom. she knows your father in ways you never will and will most likely know how to approach this topic with him. ; )
good luck and come back and let us know how its going as time goes on!
]
Lets start with there is nothing wrong with being Transgender. The problem is with your parents. I say this a someone one who is old enough to be your grandfather. Now my views on sex and sexuality are a lot more liberal than most parents or grandparents. I'm a lot more open minded than most for as I've taken the time to educate myself in this area.
You did not wake up one morning and say to yourself that you are a Transgendered person. You were born this way and have had these feelings just about since birth. When you entered puberty is when the full meaning of how your sexuality and your body didn't agree. Will you some day actually change your body to fit the gender you feel you are? That is something you will eventually decide. For now you have at least 4 years before you can even have that surgery although in two years if you wish you and start the process.
Below are home websites you should look at for help. The first one also has a hotline call. It is the Trevor project and it is there to help with just the type of problems you face. their number is 1-800-488-7386.
The second will take you to a page on another website that will give you some insight on how to approach your parent s and what you can do in the interim until they are ready to accept you as you are.
Don't be too hard on your parents for Transgender while not something new is in reality something that just recently has come to the attention of mainstream America and most of the rest of the world.
People your parents age and older do not know what to make of this. In general when we face the unknown we are distrusting of it, scared and in instances such as Transgender, Gays and lesbians we feel we did something wrong which scares us even more. Scientists and doctors are just now starting to look at the why and unlocking the reasons. It can be very confusing if you are not into accepting scientific conclusions which many my age and old are again untrusting of.
Your father sees you as his little girl. He wants to see you grown up and married with a family of your own. Even still if you were to grow up and have a family of your own (as a women) you would in his eyes always be his little girl.
This is how it has been forever with dads and their daughters. What you want to do in cutting your hair scares him without a reason for doing so. Talk to the people at the Trevor project and ask for their help in telling your parents for it is going to be harder for you to live a lie. The harder it becomes the more chance you will become depressed.
Depression is everything it is advertised as and not a place you want to go. I hope I have helped you.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
]
More Questions: |