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I can't handle the hate on my career choices
Hi! I'm a 13 year old girl in Year 9/9th Grade. It's coming up tovmy options now and I really want to be a Primary School teacher. I love kids and really want to give them the best starts in life.
But, the problem is, nobody wants to support me and always has to be a complete a** whenever they can about it. Not even my dad! Because he's a police officer, he thinks he's all high and mighty and below all other people. Please bear in mind that he has treated me like a trophy all my life, think of the embarrassment he would have to endure if I became a Primary School teacher! That was sarcasm by the way...
My friends all want to become doctors, vets and lawyers and always say that that is where all the failures end up. After all 'those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, teach at Primary.' Again, sarcasm.
But I really want to do this! I get straight A's in Year 9 and it's just over a quarter of the way through the year. I believe I can do it but everybody hates my decisions and always have to bring me down about it. It is actually starting to make me feel depressed now.
Any advice? Thanks in advance.
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I'm not sure I know exactly how you feel when everyone is against your career choice. I do know my father could not fathom my choice of becoming a member of our towns volunteer fire department and later he never understood why his grandson became a Paramedic/Firefighter.
What I can do is tell you what I have told others and what I have told my son. When choosing a career chose one that will make you happy. One that will make you eager to get out of bed in the morning, not one that will just make you rich. Money doesn't buy happiness.
Being a teacher, a doctor a lawyer or even a firefighter all are honorable professions. They are all good honest jobs and all have a place in our society. It takes a special kind of person to be anyone of these people and to try and force yourself to be anyone of these people because others think you should be is wrong.
Generally I try to find away to arbitrate in a situation like this though in this case you father is wrong. I don't have a problem with him treating you as a trophy; most fathers are that way with daughters. Most fathers see their daughters as their little girls even when they are all grown up and have families of their own.
Teaching is one of the most important professions we have. Teachers mold our future by teaching our future leaders. If this is the profession you want then go for it. Talk to your guidance counselor at school and arrange for the proper course to get into a teaching college.
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I dont know what its like for my family to hate my carrier choices but i DO know this. Children are ALWAYS going to be our future, SOMEONE had to teach them everything they know about this world before they can grow up to become decent people in this world.
Thats the real job of a teacher, youll grow up, teach and then after years have passed, youll see that little girl or little boy that sat in your class room on tv because they came up with some amazing invention that saves lives, or something like that! you have no reason to be ashamed or feel badly about wanting to be a teacher. The most amazing teachers have gone on to teach people who are now very important in this world, and hey if your lucky one day youll hear your name on tv from one of those kids THANKING YOU for being the kindest, funnest, most cool teacher they can ever remember during their school years! = )
ask your mother or father to think back on THEIR school years, and tell you who their favorite teachers where. The one who was understanding, cool, and a joy to be around, that one teacher that made getting up and going to school everyday NOT so miserable ya know?? ((sarcastic there))) ; )
then say "dont you wish there had been MORE of those types of teachers when you were in school mom and dad?? well i can be ALL the kids "favorite teacher"!!
weather they want to admit it or not teachers are important people and play an intricate part of this world.
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What they don't tell you when you're in school is that you really should enjoy what you do for a career. You will spend the majority of your time working when you're an adult, and hating your job will make your life terrible regardless of how much money it brings in.
People always have something to say about the job choices of others. What they tend to forget is that we need all types to make the world go 'round. If everyone was a doctor or lawyer, then who's supposed to teach their children? Who will snake their pipes? Who will build their houses? No one career is better than any other.
Everyone needs to balance the financial and emotional aspects of their career choice. Some may be happy with working a job where they hate what they're doing but make great money. Others may prefer a lower income but more flexibility and a job that they love. It's a choice we all make, and it looks like you're able to be realistic about it.
Parents are another thing. They want the best for their children, but don't always realize what that means. My parents were pretty upset when I left university to go to college, but now that I'm looking at graduating with great job prospects in a field that I love they're starting to come around. Your parents, much as they may want the best for you, don't have to live your life... you do! They can make decisions about whether to back you or not, and you'll have to live with the consequences of those decisions. That can suck. The freedom of doing what's right for you is its own reward and will have long-term payoffs.
I also wouldn't stress too much about it right now. You've got some years to go before you graduate. I was pretty darn sure what I wanted to do when I was your age, and am now in a completely different field. Your tastes may change with time and exposure to different things.
What I would try to do if you can is get some classroom experience. My high school offered a co-op program where you could get credits for doing a volunteer work placement. Many students worked at elementary schools in the area. You could also look at volunteering with a day care or your Sunday school if you go to church. Find out all that you can about what you plan to do, and you'll be less likely to take others' half baked ideas into consideration when making your decisions.
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I can understand a whole family having set deals and expectations for your career choice but you make it sound like all your peers, feel the same way!? Maybe I am wrong there. The only people I think who will give you support are people in the same vocation, that means other teachers and school counselors. Once you have someone on your side, it will be easier to follow your own dreams and resist the control and manipulating of family. If you have family members who put a higher priority in their pride in job than in love and support of you, then they have their priorities very mixed up but some people are like that. Just because they may be adults doesn't mean they have figured things out and are doing things the best way possible in raising you.
Talk to people at your school first. If you are a straight A student, you may be able to get in a program with the school if there is one to help tutor a classmate who is suffering in their grades and gives you some experience with teaching others. In a K to 8 school my daughters were in, the middle schoolers had an option to work with tutoring younger kids, being a buddy to disabled younger kids in the school and this was during school day, not after school. It was a good experience for them and made them more accepting and understanding of all people, even those their own age who have struggles.
Be honest and let school counselors know of the pressure and expectations at home and how it is making you feel depressed. I am sure there are steps they can take to help you. When I was in 8th grade, my middle school let you have a free period where you could donate your time somehow and I signed up as a teachers aide. I got to help a teacher of 7th graders in class during the day with anything she needed, correcting papers, decorating a display, etc... and I loved it. See if the school has a program like that and will let you be a teachers aide one period if all the major classes you need to take are met. If they can count teachers aide as an elective class, you've got it made.Thats how it was for me. This could help boost your esteem and give hope to your dreams without the family even having to know for now. But it would be helpful if a counselor were involved and could talk to your family. That would mean school counselors contacting the parents to have a talk with them on your behalf. Some times adults will listen to other adults over their own kids. It could backfire with parents giving even more pressure to tell you that this is not anyone elses business. If things get to a point of bullying in the family, verbal abuse or physical abuse to get you to fall in line with what they want, inform the school again and they can get CPS, Childrens protective services involved. You have as much a right to follow your dreams for being a teacher as Dad had to become a cop. You didn't say what Mom's idea's are for you. Or perhaps she just goes along with Dad to keep the peace with in that case alerts me to a possibility that Dad is a controller type of person who may tend to lean toward emotional abuse and verbal abuse to get his way. If this is the case and Mom decided to let him control her life, that doesn't mean you have to let him control your life. A parent will have the right to teach you and raise you in a way they believe will help you to become a wonderful well adjusted adult someday. That does not mean they have the right to take away your freedom of choice in things like the color and style of clothes you like to wear, how you like to style your hair, what you eat, or what your vocation is for examples. But these choices are not going to make any difference in who you become as an adult and do not affect your personality. Let me know how things go dear. If you have a family pastor or youth pastor, I would also talk to him. Any aunts and uncles or grandparents who do not feel like Dad does, talk to them and ask for their help and support too.
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