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confused about my feelings
My ex and I were in a long distance relationship for around 4 months. Since last 20 days or so he was distant and replied to my messages really late.. Usually after 2-3 days.
So I asked him what was happening... And he said, university was hectic and he said things are getting worse. I even asked him if it's this relationship or something else that was causing the problem. He said it's neither of it. But I realised hes doing this to get out of the relationship
I for some reason did not pursue him. I think my ego came in between and I didn't bother texting him again. He hasn't texted me in over 5 days now. I am moving on and don't feel like texting him. I don't think he even deserves to know that m moving on.I cannot text him first.
And he friends with my best friend and I see him online ( he said he's busy with university). So that's just proof enough that he doesn't want to face the music and tell me that he doesn't want to do this. So my question is Im just wondering why am I so indifferent to this? I mean the urge to text and call him just died so soon.
Is this a bad thing??
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Dear Confusion and Uncertainty,
Sometimes insecurities have a way of bringing things to our minds that make us think of things in the wrong way. But if you are worried so much on the relationship then just being honest and letting him know how you feel about it will help relieve that. If you feel that it's not working then move on but at least let him know that's what you want. Doing so without his knowledge only diminishes your character. but also in the meantime figure out what major insecurity whether from your present or past is causing you to feel this way and work on it because only then will you ever be able to have a stable relationship with anyone.
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Dear Confused,
It's NOT a bad thing and it's NOT your ego. I believe that your intuition and keen insight in interpreting his responses are correct and that your action (or lack thereof) are entirely appropriate.
I also don't see anything, in what you write, that's negative or "indifferent" Only a state of mild annoyance at this failure to be candid with you, combined with a realistic appraisal of the situation.
I'm sure, that in going forward, you'll maintain a positive attitude and will not do, say or write anything bad to/about him. It's just time to move on!
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Long distance romances are hard to maintain therefore they rarely work out especially for young people who want to have an active social life. The expression out of sight out of mind fits very well to what you have written.
I remember when I was in the military and a guy would get a "Dear John" Letter. If they got all broken up over it they would be sent to see the Chaplin. The Chaplin's would generally say something to the effect of, "out of sight out of mind," as to the reason behind the letter.
Out of sight out of mind is probably why you’re not all broken up over this. That and the fact that the romance or his indifference towards you has taken a period of time and you have accepted the fact that something is amiss with him. So no I do not think this is a bad thing just something you saw coming and accepted.
What I do believe is you need to send him a Dear John text message letting him know it is over between for he might feel he has you on a string and can pull you up when he is home on break if he is in need of a date. Keep it short just let him know that you have moved on and do not wish to see him or hear from him when he is home on break. In other words put the final touch on this and have the last word.
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You have to tell him how you feel. You can't just ignore him, you have to either break it off or just confront him about your issues and how you don't have to urge to talk to him and may not work out
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