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Gender:

Female

Location:

Bay Area, CA

Occupation:

Retail/Student

Age:

24

Member Since:

May 26, 2004

Answers:

1610

Last Update:

January 10, 2015

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Favorite Columnists

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H0LLY_W00D_FAME

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about

Hello! I am studying esthetics at an Aveda Institute after spending years in retail. I am proof that nothing turns out how you think it will, and that's a good thing. When you think you've got it figured out, you don't. Life would be boring otherwise, right?
Makeup, skincare, and psychology are my passions and I'm also happy to give advice on relationships, particularly for teenagers (so many things I wish I could have told myself a decade ago!) I'm happy to help fellow abuse survivors as well.
I'm a diehard SF Giants fan and also enjoy watching the Sharks and Niners. Addicted to music, especially The Gaslight Anthem. Oh, and my name is Krista. :)

advice

Does anyone actually know why the Christina Aguilera/Chingy tour was cancelled? I was scheduled to go, and then the news stated that it had been cancelled. I heard that it's because Christina is undergoing a voice operation for more than 6 months. Is this the real reason? If anyone has any information, I'd love to hear it. Thanks tons. xox Mariah

Yeah, she had some sort of voice problem.

There's this girl I thought was my friend, and she and I and a bunch of other people were talking, and someone said they didn't "get" the stock market, and she agreed. I asked what wasn't to get. The girl started asking me all these questions about the stock market, and when I would take the slightest time to think about my answer, she would give me this LOOK. Now she won't stop quizzing me about different aspects of the stock market, and trying to "prove me wrong," saying "Maybe you don't know as much as you think. Keep your mouth shut next time" and things like that. Why is she doing this? She's NEVER done anything like this to me before.

She's mad you know something she doesn't. Asking "what isn't there to get?" is kind of stuck up, though. Try to avoid statements like that in the future. You are kind of making of a big deal out of it though, don't worry so much.

I liked this one guy for a little over a year. I was at a dance on Friday & was having fun, but then a slow song came on & he went & danced with this girl that I really dislike. As he was dancing w/ her, he kept smiling at me and staring at me. After that, I was dancing w/ a few of my friends, and he kept moving around so that he could see me. Then he went off during another slow song and danced with a total slut. He stared at me during that one, too. I'm really confused. What does it all mean?

First off, dancing isn't a big deal to guys. Second, he's j-e-a-l-o-u-s! He likes you. Give him one more chance by asking him out, but don't stress over it.

i babysit for this young couple, and they have 2 kids, the guy is like 21 and he is sooooooooo cute, and ive become friends with him, and the other night we were talking and he leaned in to kiss me, so we kissed and then he like got up and said it was time he took me home, he isnt happily married, he only married her cuz she was pregnant and i have a crush on him, im 17 by the way, what should i do???????......Alisha

It doesn't matter whether or not they're happily married. They're still married. Do you really want the reputation of a mistress? No one likes that kind of person. Get over him unless you want a reputation as a slut. Sorry to be so harsh but I hate hate hate people like that, a woman like that ruined my family and I hate her so much. Do you really want to upset the kids by a divorce? Cuz they WILL hate you eventually...Don't do it!

how do lesbians have sex?

erm...well....they don't get further than oral.

Im redoing my room this summer, and im goin to paint it and get new things for it and i was wondering what color of pink ur room is and where u shop for the things in ur room? ThaNx LoTz :)

Oh Smart One, ur on the sex board. Try Home DEcorating or something like it.
BTW pbteen.com has gr8 furniture. :)

17/f
Hey!
oookkk i need major advice lol cause my friends def. dont give me any. i really like this guy, but he does a lot of stuff i dont like. he smokes a lot, drinks to much (i like to drink but he drinks all the time) and hes just kinda known as a "bad boy". a lot of people tell me i could do a lot better. he gets into trouble a lot and starts fights with people, but im really comfortable with him and i like the way he makes me feel. i dont know what balances out more or if its worth going through stuff he does... and if i should keep being with him cause i really like him but i really dont wanna get stuck in his drama and the stuff he does. i dont want to lead him on either... so if i should get away from him i need to. hes a really nice guy and he has a lot of friends and i know he would never hurt me... but the things he does really bothers me... and i dont like to see him get hurt or get in fights. I NEED MAJOR ADVICE!!!
-kelly

I know how you feel- I used to have a boyfriend who was a drug dealer. It can be confusing. Ignore people's opinion- YOU like him! You have to let him know that you won't drink a lot or smoke, and that you don't want any pressure to. If he blows you off, forget it. ALso tell him that it bothers you when he fights because you care about him....ask him if he'd like to see you get hurt. All in all, if he respects you, go for it. If not, sorry. Good luck!

in 5th grade i moved up north. and i met this boy named mark, who happened to be my neighbor. the first time i saw him, i had a crush on him. i mean im a girl who never even thought about boys, until i saw him. i found out later he liked me and we went out in 6th grade-- for 9 months, then i broke up with him because he never talked to me like he used to. and he understood where i was coming from, and yet we still liked each other-- a lot. in 7th grade, we went out, and then his friend came riding around the block saying that he didn't want to go out with me. the same year, i decided to give him another chance, but he dumped me again. then there i was sitting there with a broken heart. and i promised myself as well as my best friend that i would never ever go out with him again. well soon enough, in 8th grade, i gave him another chance, i thought he would change-- but he didn't. we went out for about 3-4 months. i was at my neighbor's house, and i found out he liked lisa behind my back. i found this conversation at his house, and it was all this perverted crap with her. i was furious. so of course we broke up-- again. this time was different, we didn't talk for about 3 months. then slowly we started becoming friends again, and 5 more months after that we got closer and i kissed him. and we also cuddled a lot. all my feelings started rushing back. i mean he was the first guy i ever liked, and cared about. a few days later he asked me out-- and i had the guts to say no. it hurt me so bad, because i liked him soo much, but i couldn't stand getting another heart break. that night i found out he started telling people he liked my best friend. my bestfriend & i both knew that he was just trying to get revenge on me because i turned him down. and later we found out that it was all just an act. he was mad at me for awhile, and i didn't blame him for being mad because i would be too. and then we became close friends again, and just recently we have became friends with benefits. he likes this other girl(lets call her *A*). and me too. but A would never go out with him. but now i regret saying no to him, because he is telling people that he will never ask me out again because i rejected him. but i really do like him, im just scared to get hurt again. do you think i should just forget him-- cuz highschool is next year(remember i have to see him everyday of summer because he is my neighbor and friends with my brother). should i give him one last chance? i really need your opinion on this. i have been confused for years, and i just can't seem to let him go. do you have any tips? anything would help at this point.

-confused

Phew, long question! lol. Well, first off, he probably didn't talk to you when you guys were about to break up because he was bercous/shy. Also how do you know his friend was telling the truth? Also maybe he wasn't trying to get revenge on you. I think you both need to leave your friends out of this and discuss things. Let him know what you feel. I'm guessing you're confused right now. Tell him you don't want to be hurt again, and give him a chance to explain. Take tihngs from there. He might even be pretending to like A to make you jealous! (I know, guys are weird.) Don't obsess over him, and distract yourself if things don't work out. (A day of chocolates, Kleenex, sleeping, and movies usually works.) Good luck!

im 16 and my bf is 17 and his penis is about 5.5
inches long and it takes a few minutes for his penis to get hard is this a normal thing?
He's a bit insecure about his size is there anything i can do to help him?

I can understand why he'd be insecure about that. He might think he's "unmanly" because of this problem. The best thing to do is for him to see a doctor. Even if nothing is wrong, he can still feel more secure by asking his doctor questions. Meanwhile, hold off on having sex for a bit and just concentrate on seeing each other. Support him (sounds cliche i know) and don't make a big deal out of it. This kind of thing is quite normal. GOod luck!

i have been with this guy (lets call him 'N') for almost a year now. i am only 14 years old, and i think i love this guy. i mean i can't stop thinking about him. and i get this funny feeling everytime i see him. im happy all the time, and i can't seem to stop smiling. i can talk with N about anything and i know he feels the same way. his friends come up to me telling me how he always says the nicest things about me-- and stuff. but am i too young to fall in love?

It may sound cliche, but you're never too young to be in love. He sounds like a great guy so don't worry and just enjoy your relationship!

Some people think teens are depressing
But im not im just expressing
My thought and feelings
Bout people and all the killings
But what about all the news
About drunks filled with booze
So if a lil poem is bad
then what about the sad
Look at this pity war
Is it me or is this for
someone to be put in history
For what
......a mystery?

Too cliche.

As the question says. :) Not to toot my own horn or anything like that, but I consider myself a good writer, as do my teachers. Essays, articles, parodies and reports get consistently excellent marks. However, I've desired to write creative stories, specifically fanfiction, for a long time, but I'm having trouble writing anything. Last time I've written fanfic was at 14; now I'm 17, and I'm afraid I've lost any spontaneity and skill I might've had. I don't believe imagination to be the problem, but I have trouble writing them out onto paper/computer, and I also have the problem of being too self-critical, so I'm constantly editing and deleting things (which doesn't do much for progress!). Does anybody have any suggestions to help?

The best way to write that kind of things is to go on role-playing boards. Neopets.com (a virtual pet site) has great rp boards! YOu can use my old account, username dolphingirl_kmn_1990 and password: passwordneopetshappy (just paste and don't worry if it doesnt all show up). Click on boards on the yellow sidebar, then click role playing, then start your own topic! Start with a character description and make sure the subject is specific. Every time you fill up a page, copy and paste the whole thing into wordpad. Find a spot for a good ending. Now get rid of all the signatures, pictures, etc. and edit it so its gramatically correct and spelled right. Fix it up to make it look like a story, divide it into chapters, add the ending, and save. repeat this a couple of times until you find something you like. good luck!

How do you publish your own stories?

Well, first write one! Come up with a basic idea and plot line, although many people work better with just a description of the main person and work from there. I recomend writing it in WordPad and spell checking it in Word. Give it a nice title (if you want a cover i can make one- ive taken a lot of photoshop classes). Ask a librarian at your local library if they accept writing (put it in like a report cover). If yes go ahead! Also submit to magazines like YM and GL and enter writing contestss.

__Takes my breath away__

Sitting next to him,
I like to say,
that he takes my breath away,
To the Lord,
I pray,
because he takes my breath away,
In my mind,
over and over I play,
"He takes my breath away",
his name is no use,
for all I say,
Is that he takes my breath away,
He's taken, I know,
but be it as it may,
he still takes my breath away.

-100. Worst poem ive ever heard.

im thinking of having sex... oh it might help... im turning 15 and im a grl... what do you think

Make sure you really care about the person, like you've been going out with him for several months. Use protection!

I have been beging for an earing for about 3 years now. im 14 and in 8th grade i reall really want it but there is just no way that i can convince my parents i dont know what to do please someone help me in ways to convince them ive tried school grades are good chores for free and even going shopping for them once in awhile i dont know what to do anymore.....

Explain everything to them. Tell them where you want the earring, why, and all the costs. Tell them what you told me- you are responsible, do your chores, and have good grades. Do you go to a junior high? Ask for it as an 8th grade graduation gift. Good luck!

I've been trying to convince my parents to get me a cell phone forever. I've tried the "everybody has one" method and the "reasons I need one" method but they wont crack. How do I convince them to let me get one? I have my reasons(good ones too) for needing one.

Thanks 4 the help

Okay, you're going to need to do some serious convincing. Does your computer have PowerPoint? If yes, make a slide show. Heres an example of order of slides:
- Title
- Background information and stats
- Pros
- Cons
- Cost total
- Information on the phone you want
- End

Explain that you would pay for the plan if they paid for the phone.
Use ClipArt and animation effects to make your slide show look nice. Present it at a time when your parents aren't busy. On the end page it's a good idea to put something like "please consider" then ask them about a week later.

I have used this for getting instant messaging, aol teen controls, a room redo for my birthday, and guitar lessons instead of piano. Good luck!

There is this boy... lets call him Andy! I really like Andy... but how can I tell him again? I went out with him before because he liked me... but that was only for a day! He has a girlfriend that is like really nice to me and I dont want to break them up... And I dont want his girlfriend to get mad at me and not want to talk to me ever again! I know they love eachother because on their shirts his girlfriend wrote I love Andy and Andy wrote I love (his girlfriend) Just because i am afraid to talk to him does that mean i dont like him? Whenever i talk to him i talk all like flirty but i dont know if we have anything. I really dont want to break him and his girlfriend up but IIIIIII really like him.... I think.... :(....... AHH HELP!!!!

You need some time to get over him. Distract yourself by doing things with friends and just not thinking of him. If you do, think about how crazy he is to not like you. Think of him like Orlando Bloom- hot, but unattainable. Then get over it. No more flirting! That's just plain mean. If you feel like you're completely over him at some point, go ahead and be friends. Until the, hands off. GOod luck!
-Kristen

I've really liked this one guy for about two years and I've finally got the courage to start flirting with him. We became friends and everything was going great. I could tell that he had a small crush on me (and that's what I wanted) however, all of a sudden my best friend starts to talk to him. My best friend is a lot prettier, funnier, more athletic, and smarter than me so of course the guy that I like starts chasing after her right away. Once I find this out I asked her if she liked him. She said yes and she was thinking about asking him out soon. I can't help but think that my best friend has stolen him from me because she's known that I've liked him for over two years. I feel jealous, betrayed, rejected... many other negative things. Should I fight over the guy? Forgive my friend? Drop the whole thing and pretend that nothing ever happened? Please help!

your fellow advicenator,
sp4rklingr4in

A true friend would ask your opinion instead of telling you. Say something like, "Look, I don't feel that great about your asking NAME out- I really like him. Is it okay if you hold off for a while?" Otherwise you can end up really hurt.
If she laughs and says, "Oh come on, you don't really think he likes you, do you? Anyway you're not my friend if you're not happy for me!" ditch her.
If she says, "mmmph...maybe." wait a while.
If she says, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you and I realize I was wrong. I'll wait." keep her!
Good luck!

I have many best friends. As a sometimes tom-boyish girl, atleast half of them are guys. I'm 13, as of the 6th of May. Anyways, one of my friends, I've been friends with for about 3 years now. We had a relationship as "boyfriend and girlfriend" for one year, then kind of stepped out of it. Then, it started again. He lives very far away, though. Over 50miles away. Then, there's my 2nd best guy friend at school.. I've really started to like him as more than a friend (and have told him). But neither of the guy friends know of the other. I am pretty much void of anything but friend feelings for the first guy, but I'm afraid to tell him. I don't want to hurt him or anything, but its haunting me, thinking each night how he thinks I care so much for him (and, don't get me wrong, I do care for him alot, just.. we're just friends, nothing more). I'm afraid of becoming more than friends with the guy at school, because it could ruin our friendship if nothing good comes of it.. So I'm just confused. I don't have any idea of what to do.

Sorry to say this but you gotta be honest. Call Friend #1 (lol) and tell him what you told me. Something like, "I'm sorry but I think we should just be friends. I know this may hurt, and I'm very sorry. I just think it would be better. I care so much for you as a friend that I don't want to ruin our friendship. Is that okay?" I know it sounds corny, so edit it to make it sound more like you! This would be better in a letter or email. As for friend #2, hang out with him for a while. Eventually, start doing more one-on-one things. Sooner or later it will be the right time to ask to the movies, etc. From there, "I've been thinking about it for a while, and I really think that we should be more than friends. What do you think?" (Again, modify) Good luck!

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