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Everything Teen-What you need to know but can't ask

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homemaker

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ncblondieadvice

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July 12, 2005

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May 23, 2006

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about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

I was wondering
Is it true if you blow dry your hair and straigthen it like everday that by the time your 25 your hair will fall out?
I usually do that everyday except for on weekends.
Will my hair fall out?

It won't make you hair fall out. However, it will make your hair more prone to damage, breakage, and split ends. If you can, try to allow your hair to air dry and only straighten it when necessary. If you're not able to do that, I highly recommend you invest in a good quality shampoo and conditioner for processed or damaged hair.

I've always been the type to worry about STDs but I went a little far with my boyfriend and we have preformed oral on each other. Even though I might have the chance of already having caught something is it ok for me to ask him to be tested? Where might he get tested?

It's never too late to be tested, especially now that you've moved forward in your relationship. Just let him know that you'd like for both of you to be tested before the relationship moves any further. Your family doctor, health department or planned parenthood office can do the testing. Some areas also have confidential testing centers. Check your phone book for information.

okay so when ever i use tampons they make me feelreally sick. im putting them in right because i cant feel anything but they make me feel really ill! and my period is quite heavy so its always annoying to have to go to the toilet all the time.

why do they make me feel sooo ill? ive tried different makes and absorbancies of them etc so i dont think its anything to do with that.

If tampons are making you sick, you need to see your family doctor or gynecologist so they can determine why. You may be one of the women that are unable to use tampons due to a reaction. Until then, I would recommend using pads. I know they're more of a hassle, but it's better than being sick.

I recently found a 2 books in my library.
I probably have them from my grandparents, but i didn`t know about them.
A friend (the same one that directed me to this site) told me they might be valuable.
The books are:
1. "Pe culmile disperarii" (On the Heights of Despair), Bucharest, "Fundatia regala pt. Literatura si arta" publishers, 1934.
2. "Cartea amagirilor" (The book of deceptions), "Cugetarea" publishers,
Bucharest, 1936
Both books are in romanian and are the first editions of the philosopher`s first books.
I`m really curious how much they`re worth.
Can you help me out?

I would suggest doing a little online research to get an idea of their value. A couple links for you to try.
http://www.bookfinder.com/
http://www.abebooks.com/

You can also try to locate a rare book dealer to get an appraisal. You can find them by checking your local phone book or visiting http://www.abaa.org/ to search for a bookseller in your area. While on the ABAA website, you may also want to check out the "For Collectors" tab. It has loads of information on how to evaluate your books and how to find the value.

I think I have polycyrstic ovary syndrom. I have a lot of hair around my nipples. Like a lot of hair! I know polycyrstic ovary syndrom is treatable, but how can you treat it? Do you have to go to the doctor, or are there over the cunter drugs for it? Help please!

Is the excess hair your only symptom or do you have others as well? PCOS is generally accompanied by other symptoms as well. You need to be checked out by your family doctor or gynecologist to know for sure. I suggest going as soon as possible because if you do have it, it may lead to some problems if left untreated. It is treatable, but needs to be treated by a doctor. Prescription medication may be necessary. I'm including a couple links to sites with information for you to read.
http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/girls/pcos.html
http://www.4woman.gov/faq/pcos.htm
http://www.pcosupport.org/

okay. Sorry if this is long but.. I just went to the Doctor's yesturday and he told me a bunch of things wrong with me like..
*I might have,
*Lime Disease
*Mano[spelling?]
*Dislexit
*I have Asthma
*I have Dislexia
*I have ADD & ADHD
*I have to go see a shrink

Okay wow alot of things known in just one check up, right? . Well idk what to do. Becuase i might have depression and stuff. And i feel like a problem child in the family since my brother doesnt have anything wrong with him and neither do my parents. Which sucks. So i guess i just need someone to talk too and i just need help.

PS. I'm 13 if that changes anything? .

Wow that's a lot to deal with at once. It's understandable that you'd be upset with that list of possibilities. Just remember that none of this is your fault and it can all be treated. Also, this is probably a preliminary diagnosis and the doctor will most likely be running more tests to get to the bottom of what's going on.

It may help you to learn about these conditions. For me, I can handle bad news easier if I know all the details. Try http://www.webmd.com to look them up. Your doctor can also give you more information regarding the conditions and how they're treated.

As for seeing a shrink, don't let it get you down. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone that's outside the situation. They may be able to offer a view you hadn't considered yet.

Heres my new mail plan:
breakfast: bagel with cream cheese;;
lunch:sandwich ( whole grain bread ), one serving ( in a little bag ) of sunchips, maybe a fruit, and a whole grain crunchy bar thingy..( nature valley )
snack after school; blueberries
lunch; whatever, but in perportion and nothing way out there

2 glasses of milk a day
icetea/water ( unlimitied diet tea )

60 minutes of gazelle a week
3 exercise videos ( firm;pilates;yoga)
and one walk

will this help me lose weight?

any tips or advice? thanks in advance

much love

I think you're off to a good start by making a plan. Remember to vary your plan a bit so you don't get bored with it or in a weight-loss rut. I noticed a few things you might want to look at.

The bagel and cream cheese can pack a lot of calories. You may want to either switch to a plain bagel or try a different option for breakfast. A healthy cereal with fruit, an omelet packed with veggies, or whole wheat toast with yogurt might be options to try.

As for lunch, you may want to check the label on the Sunchips and the nature valley bar. Even though they tend to have healthier ingredients, sometimes they sneak in added fat. Fresh veggies may be something you can add. Also, when making the sandwich, remember to watch how it's prepared. Too much mayo or high calorie sandwich makings can turn it into a calorie nightmare.

Make sure you include foods from every food group so your body gets all the vitamins and minerals it needs. Go to http://mypyramid.gov/ and enter your information to get details of how much of each food group your body needs. You may also want to supplement with a good quality multi-vitamin.

To keep track of your progress, judge by how your clothes fit, rather than the numbers on the scale. The scale doesn't differentiate between fat and muscle. Your eyes will. If you must weigh yourself, do so only once a week. Try to do it at the same time of day and wearing similar clothing as the last time.

Don't totally deny yourself treats if you're craving them. Wait about ten minutes after the craving starts to make sure it's really what you want. Then, if you still want it, look for a lower-calorie choice to try. For instance, when craving chocolate, try a miniature candy bar or low-fat chocolate pudding. Another option is trying Viactiv chocolates. They not only soothe a chocolate craving, but also give you needed calcium.

Good luck.

i have a bachelor degree in managment. i use to live in canada and studied french when in highschool. so i speak it fluently. does anyone no how to go about finding a job as a french teacher for the highschool level or middle school level. and would i need a certain teaching certificate to do such.. how would i find out jobs in or around my school district... thannxx so much!!

I believe you do have to have a teaching certificate to be able to teach. Your best bet would be to contact your local board of education. They can give you detailed information on the qualifications needed and also offer suggestions on finding a position in your school district if you are qualified. Good luck.

I know that this is really long and confusing, but I really need help, so please read this!!!!!

There is this group of 5 girls, and we're not a clique but we are really good friends; Girl 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. So I will be girl # 3. 1 has just announced to this guy that she likes him. She is veryyyyy shy, and I used to be her very best friend. 2 is now hanging around with all these guys, forming another group of just guys, constantly flirting with them, almost turning into a slut. SHe used to be #4's best friend. 1 and 2 are now revolving their entire lives around this one boy, who really isn't anything special, and are basically ignoring us. One of the guys they have recently befriended is a complete pervert; you can imagine how that makes me, 4 and 5 feel. 1 and 2 are now constantly going to the mall with these guys, but not only that, they aren't inviting me, 4 and 5. Last Friday, we were walking home, without 1, so we were sort of in rows talking; me with 2, and 4 and 5 together (sorry if this is a bit confusing). My house is the first one we stop at, and then 5. 4 recently told me that when me and 5 left, 2 didn't wait for 4 but just kept walking, about 100 ft ahead of her, without even looking back ignoring her. These two girls have been best friends since 6th grade, and this is the first time that this has happened since. Now she is basically ignoring all of us, and walking to school today she ditched us for someone younger than us (1 wasn't walking with us). Why are they so mad? Do they have reason to be so mad?

So far, I think the only reason that they are so mad at us is because we aren't really supportive of them constantly spending time with that one boy and ignoring us. Talking on IM, 1 didn't respond to me because she was talking on the phone to the boy. 2 asked me if she was talking to me, and I said, no, shes probably talking to that boy. She doesn't stop talking to him. Then 2 got really insulted and said, "so? What's wrong with that? I talk to Tom (another boy who is also very annoying and completely perverted) all the time and we're not even going out. Yes, me and 4 know that, and we don't really apporve. She is talking to him so much that she missed a cancellation we had to make, because she was on the phone and we couldn't reach her. 1 also spends all of her time talking to the other boy, at least 5 hours a day, on the phone

Should we talk to them? Or should we just give up on their friendship, as now their lives are completely revolting around these idiot, perverted boys?

I will really appreciate and rate any answers.

This was a bit confusing, but I think I understand what you're getting at. I would suggest sitting down with your friends and talking to them. Tell them that you miss the closeness you all shared before and want to spend more time together like you used to. Leave out the whole issue with the guys as it's bound to be an upsetting issue. Make the issue about the loss of closeness in your friendship. If they value the friendship like you do, they'll understand your feelings and try to work out a compromise that makes everyone happy.

hey i'm a guy, and one of my friends got pregnant. the whole school found out and eventually her parents did too. right now shes feeling terrible and her parents flipped out on her. i heard her talking to some of her friends and said she was considering getting an abortion. i asked her about it and she said shes worried and afraid its a bad idea. what should i tell her about it? i mean i don't think she should get one, but how do i help her with what she wants to know? thanks

I think the most important thing you can offer her now is your support and friendship. Unfortunately, many people look down on pregnant teens, especially those that choose abortion. I don't necessarily agree with abortion unless there are special circumstances (for instance rape or if the pregnancy is dangerous to the mother's health), but I do believe it's a personal choice. If she asks your opinion, let her know how you feel and why you feel that way. However, tell her that whatever she decides, it's her choice and you'll be there for her.

If she hasn't already, encourage her to visit her family doctor, health department or planned parenthood office. They can explain her options so she can make an informed choice.

You can do some research online to find loads of information regarding abortion. However, since abortion tends to be a hot issue, be aware that some sites may offer a biased view. I'm giving you a link to a page that offers some information in what I think is an unbiased manner. It explains how each type is done, side effects, possible health risks, cost, what to expect, etc.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/pp2/portal/medicalinfo/abortion/

Ok, My computer was running super-slow and so I went and checked my "Add or Remove" Programs and I had a list full of this Security Update Crap. I was so pissed and now when I try to remove it it gives me a list of stuff that has to be deleted with it. Any Information/Ideas?

Your computer needs those security updates to help protect it. They're usually automatically downloaded by Windows Update. Try running a disk cleanup and disk defragmenter. Both can be found by clicking start-programs-accessories-system tools.

I would also recommend updating and running your antivirus program to make sure it's not a virus slowing down your computer. Last, I suggest checking your computer for spyware by running Spybot and Ad-Aware. Both of these programs are free to use and very user-friendly. I'm including links to download Spybot and Ad-Aware as well as a link to a free virus scanner in case you don't have one.
http://www.safer-networking.org/en/download/index.html
http://www.lavasoftusa.com/software/adaware/
http://housecall.trendmicro.com/

I Have been feeling depressed for almost a year now, and I have read nearly all the articles posted about depression, but none of them really help me. I took the first step of talking to a trusted adult, who was one of my former teachers. She tried to help me by calling my mom and referring me to different counselors. But this made my mom very angry. My mom refuses to let me see a counselor, and she is not allowing me to have contact with my teacher either. I don't understand why, but I think it's because my mom feels like I am placing blame on her for my issues. Now I feel so alone because I have no one to talk to. I want to call my teacher, but my mom would be very angry if she found out. What else is there left for me to do if counseling is not an option? I fear I will keep getting more and more depressed like I have been. Please respond to my question, I really need your help!

Sometimes people aren't comfortable with the idea of something being wrong with their loved one. Your mom may be in denial. Try sitting down with her to explain how you're feeling and make sure she knows that you're not blaming her. Ask if she'll consider letting you see your family doctor. They can explain what's going on to your mom and help her to understand the options of treatment.

You might try talking to your school counselor. Explain the situation with your mom to the counselor so they understand that discussing it with her isn't going to help.

You can also try a youth crisis hotline. They're toll-free (so it won't show up on the phone bill) and available 24/7/365. 1-800-448-3000

I wrote and performed music for twenty years. Had fun, played with great people. I'm now 43, don't want to perform or write anymore, but don't know what to do next. I'm still an intellectually curious type; read all the time (which is thoroughly enjoyable up to a point) and listen to underground rock, old jazz, newly discovered classical, all that, but I NEED focus. I sit around all the time, and still use mind alterers, and don't know what the hell to do with myself! Any suggestions? Please, no religious freaks. Let me rephrase: no religion-oriented suggestions whatsoever. That includes AA.
Otherwise, advise away!
-Jack

Have you considered offering your services, either on a fee or volunteer basis, to teach young musicians? With twenty years of experience, I'm sure you have a lot to offer a learning musician. It would allow you to still be around music, but from a different perspective.

14/f

I am taking classes currently for babysitting, but I want to know more. I am going to start posting my number up for jobs, so what should I expect?? (from people calling all the way to what i should do with the younger children.)

If you're going to post a flyer, mention any experience you have, the class you're currently taking, if you've had any first aid or CPR training, the days and hours you're available, if you have references, etc. If you have experience, you can ask those parents if they'll provide a reference. CPR and first aid training is a major plus. If your babysitting class doesn't cover that training, I highly recommend taking a class to get your CPR and first aid certification. Parents like to know that their children are safe when they leave them and also that the babysitter can handle an emergency if it comes up.

You need to determine how much you'll charge beforehand so you're not caught off-guard when someone asks. You also need to work out the age range you can handle and the number of children you can handle at one time. Small children tend to need more attention so you may want to limit the number you'll take care of at one time.

I would suggest putting together a babysitting kit with some activities for various age ranges as well as a basic first aid kit. You would be surprised how many homes do not have a first aid kit and that way you're prepared in case someone gets hurt. For activities, it doesn't have to be expensive. You can pick up coloring books and craft supplies at the dollar store fairly cheap. Just make sure the activity meets the children's ages. I'm giving you a couple links to websites with activities for children.
http://www.safesitter.org/Babysitters_Page/NewActivities.htm
http://www.urbanext.uiuc.edu/babysitting/activities.html

I would also recommend buying a notebook to keep information about your jobs in. Include the parents' names, address, phone number, children's names and ages, any allergies, special diets, likes and dislikes, etc. You also need something to help you keep up with your babysitting jobs. A calendar or day planner works well.

I recommend arriving 15-30 minutes early for your babysitting job. It will give you time to talk to the parents about the children so you're familiar with their needs. Make sure that you have contact information and emergency numbers before the parents leave the house. Most parents have post this on the fridge or beside the phone beforehand, but it's always a good idea to ask in case they've forgotten.

I'm giving you a few links to websites that have forms and information for babysitters. Good luck.
http://youthonline.ca/babysitting/
http://abcteach.com/directory/babysitting/index.shtml

Alright, damn this is a long but interesting story. Ok, there are these two people who i have known for like 9 years now (I'm 17), and they have both completely changed from when i like first met em in like second grade. One is a boy another is a girl. The guy has been my best friend ever since who knows when, and the girl is my neighbor that i have known forever. Anyways, they both have real personality disorders, and ususally go around screwing up their relationships, and they are so full of themselves that they dont give a damn about anyone else, even though they say they care about their friends, a lot. Anyways, the guy i think has a Borderline Personality Disorder (go look it up), and the girl is just crazy in the same way but a bit different. Over the years as they have been maturing, they have been developing these disorders, and yeah no good has been comin out of em. The girl goes around talking to every single guy she can get a hold of, (and pulling out bullshit about how she says she loves em when she really doesnt, she gets bored after like a week with someone, and her boyfriends are random people that she finds outa no where) while the guy goes up to a girl and expresses his love, and if they dont love him he threatens to kill himself and stupid shit. Now its sophmore and junior year, and these two are together now, kind of half ass. The guy expresses his love for her, while she acts like she likes him but she really doesnt like him that way. Then guy asks her out, and she gets surprised about it and says she doesnt like him like that. Of course, then the guy threatens to kill himself for her love. They get in fights, and they bitch, and make up OVER AND OVER!! IT IS OLD, AND IT NEEDS TO STOP! I am sick and tired of them screwing up everyone's lives because of them two, (THEY DO THIS SHIT TO EVERYONE) i gotta find a way to make em stop being retarded but i dont know how.

Unfortunately, I have to agree with the other poster. There's not a lot you can do about this other than let it run its course. Eventually, one or both of them will see that this relationship is going nowhere and end it. You could try talking to them separately about your concerns that it's an unhealthy relationship, but you run a big risk of making one, if not both, of them angry with you for interfering.

One thing I would recommend is telling someone the next time the guy threatens to kill himself. He may just be bluffing in order to guilt the girl back into going out with him again, but it's better to be safe than sorry in a situation like this.

okay well i am on a diet and ive only been drinking water and 2% milk but are there any other drinks out there that are okay for me to drink besides like diet pop (under 80 calories and 10g of sugar per 8 oz.)

and i dont like orange juice (i think that fits under my thing)

You can try unsweetened tea. If you can handle the taste, try unsweetened grapefruit juice. Try flavored water. V8 is another option, especially the low-sodium version.

This isn't really a drink suggestion, just a tip to help with water retention. Watch your sodium intake. Salt actually makes you retain more water.

OK im a 14 year old girl. I November my gramma died, and a week later my parents got a divorce. I have an older sister who is perfect and gets awesome grades and is really pretty and popular. Like it isnt hard enough just being a freshman in high school, i have all of this to deal with. I have always felt like im stuck in the shadow of my sister. I was especially close to my gramma, and i still am afraid to accept the fact that shes gone. My parents getting a divorce has been really hard, because i was really close to my dad, and now he doesnt live with me. It just seems like this is all building up, so im really moody. Everyone tells me i need to talk to someone, because hiding isnt good. But i dont feel like there is anyone in the world who can understand what I'm going through. It seems like i cant relate to anybody. What should I do? Do i really need to talk to someone?

PS-I am a very good Catholic, so i believe in God and pray to him, and i am at church all the time. But i dont even feel close to God anymore.

I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this right now. Like the others, I would suggest talking to someone about it. Have you considered talking to your spiritual leader or a school counselor? If you don't feel comfortable talking to someone, I would recommend getting a journal and writing down your feelings. It helps to get the feelings out, whether you're talking or writing.

I am 13 and my sister is 28, married and has 1 child. She is very clean, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke (Anymore). But she is depressed. She is in debt, and her husband is never home because of his job. He is a truck driver, so it's usually her and her baby which is 2 years old.

Every week that her husbands not home I have to go spend the night with her. It feels like a second home. One night, not to long ago, I went to her house to spend the night (of course) and she was crying. I asked her why and she started to tell me but didn't and I took it as if she was depressed or that she was alone and afraid because I wasn't there.

People have tried to steal things from her and her husband many times. Her neightbor thinks they sell drugs and take the money to buy all of the things she has. Which isn't true of course. She's in debt. My sister and I have never argued. I like to make her laugh because it makes me feel good that she can accually have fun.

Another thing is her weight. She's shorter than me and she is a little chubby. Everytime she see's herself in old photos she says she wishes she could look like that. One night I didn't want to spend the night with her and my mom made me go. The next day I found out that she was crying because she thought that I wasn't comming out. I really don't know what to do anymore. Can anyone offer any help?

First of all, she needs to report the attempted thefts if she hasn't done so already. It isn't right that they're stealing from her just because they think she has money. If she doesn't do something to stop it, it's probably going to keep happening.

My dad was a trucker and my husband works 80-90 hours a week so I can understand your sister's loneliness. Encourage her to meet some new friends. A good place to start would be the wives of the other truckers. If the child is in a playgroup, she can also try getting to know the other mothers. If she has childcare, volunteer work may also be an option.

Since she's upset about her weight, encourage her to exercise. Walking is great exercise and easy to do, even with a small child. Just grab a stroller for the little one and go for a walk around the block.

For the debt problem, she may want to consider a credit counseling agency. Many of them are nonprofit and can help her work out a budget so she can get out of debt. Check your local yellow pages to see what your town offers.

Let your mom know about your sister if you haven't already. She may be able to offer some help to your sister, even if it's just babysitting so your sister can have a girl's night out.

I'm on my period right now and I have extremely bad cramps so bad. Like, on a scale 1-10, it's worse than 10! What can I do??!

You can take an over the counter pain reliever. Try to find one specifically for period pain, such as Midol or Pamprin. A warm compress on the area may help as well. Playtex and Thermacare both offer a self-warming stick-on heat patch. I prefer the Playtex one because it seems to last longer. A warm bath may also help. If you can, try to walk around. I've found that it helps to relieve my cramps.

If your cramps are seriously painful and interfering with your life, you may want to consider talking to your gynecologist or family doctor. There are some prescription medications that can help.

to tanning lotions help speed up the tanning process when your tanning in a tanning bed? thanks for answering me

Depending on the ingredients, they may help speed up the process. For instance, one with oils will help your skin be more attractive to the heat. Just be careful when choosing a lotion. Some might work too well for you and you'll end up with a painful burn.

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