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My Sister Has Problems...
I am 13 and my sister is 28, married and has 1 child. She is very clean, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke (Anymore). But she is depressed. She is in debt, and her husband is never home because of his job. He is a truck driver, so it's usually her and her baby which is 2 years old.
Every week that her husbands not home I have to go spend the night with her. It feels like a second home. One night, not to long ago, I went to her house to spend the night (of course) and she was crying. I asked her why and she started to tell me but didn't and I took it as if she was depressed or that she was alone and afraid because I wasn't there.
People have tried to steal things from her and her husband many times. Her neightbor thinks they sell drugs and take the money to buy all of the things she has. Which isn't true of course. She's in debt. My sister and I have never argued. I like to make her laugh because it makes me feel good that she can accually have fun.
Another thing is her weight. She's shorter than me and she is a little chubby. Everytime she see's herself in old photos she says she wishes she could look like that. One night I didn't want to spend the night with her and my mom made me go. The next day I found out that she was crying because she thought that I wasn't comming out. I really don't know what to do anymore. Can anyone offer any help?
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I think this is a big problem -- too big for you to really help with alone. You need to talk to your sister's husband -- either call him or something, or wait till he comes home next -- and tell him about the problem. If your sister is suicidal as you are saying, the husband needs to take action to help his wife. It may involve quitting his job and getting one that doesn't have so much travel. Or she could get into counseling. Either way, it's not something you can do for your sister alone. Talk to her husband and other family members and if she has any close friends, talk to them too, before it's too late.
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Hi, I can relate to your problem. I have a sister to who acts the same way. The best thing I can say is to just be a loving sister and help her to get thourgh her situaction. I hope we have helped!!!
- Jasmine & Sheri
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its realy hard to have a husband who is always on the road. I know this from experiance. My dad is a truck driver and my mom tends to feel the same was. All she has to remamber is that she has a baby and she should be happy that she has a part of him with her all the time. She may not be depressed. its just that she is lonely and dosen't have anyone to talk to. You should tell her husband how she feels and maybe he can talk to her about it and see what it is that is buuging her so much.
About being in debt, things will turn around for her soon she just has to give it some time. After having a child it is always hard to get back on track with bills and everthing else.
I hope my advice helped. So good luck and tell your sister to keep her head up it will soon get better.
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she should really get some couseling. i sorta know what she is going through and its really hard. my dad works form 2 am- 6 pm isnt really making alot of money and his business went bankrupt so he could loose his job and things have been very ruff like my whole life but its sorta like we hit rock bottom now
maybe she should get couseling. there are many places out there that can help people out in her situation for free. there are also places all over the country called drop in centers which are like day cares for woman who just need a quick break from life and i believe they also have couseling mainly to prevent from stress and that building up so much that the child gets abused (not that your sister would do that though)
Or maybe your sister could move back in with you and your mom. i know that the last thing she would want to do but maybe she can do it till she gets back on her feet and/or her husband gets a new job where he is around more. also it will help her save money and be around people and feel more secure
also i know this sounds weird but maybe you 2 can join a gym together (talk your mom into getting you 2 passes) besides the fact that she wants to loose weight i found working out really helps you emotionally it releives stress and lets you think clearly. and even if you cant afford it check out local ymcas or a highschool pool that has community swim on weekends and you can just go and releave stress that way for like what $4 a person
and you really need to talk to her and tell her how you feel. you cant let her emotions run your life
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First of all, she needs to report the attempted thefts if she hasn't done so already. It isn't right that they're stealing from her just because they think she has money. If she doesn't do something to stop it, it's probably going to keep happening.
My dad was a trucker and my husband works 80-90 hours a week so I can understand your sister's loneliness. Encourage her to meet some new friends. A good place to start would be the wives of the other truckers. If the child is in a playgroup, she can also try getting to know the other mothers. If she has childcare, volunteer work may also be an option.
Since she's upset about her weight, encourage her to exercise. Walking is great exercise and easy to do, even with a small child. Just grab a stroller for the little one and go for a walk around the block.
For the debt problem, she may want to consider a credit counseling agency. Many of them are nonprofit and can help her work out a budget so she can get out of debt. Check your local yellow pages to see what your town offers.
Let your mom know about your sister if you haven't already. She may be able to offer some help to your sister, even if it's just babysitting so your sister can have a girl's night out.
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Why don't you talk to your mom about taking her out on a girl's night out? You could stay at a hotel, do plenty of 'girl' activities, and things like that. Take plenty of pictures and give her some, so she knows that she's fine just the way she is, and she doesn't have to change into the perfect person all the magazine's are showing. Maybe you're mom could watch her kid? That might help lighten the mood, and let her share some great memories with you on your own night out...
hope that helps a little..
<3 Liz
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Have you tried to talk to your sister? Tell her that it makes you upset, whenever she cries in front of you. You can't blame her - she just wants company. But if my sister made me stay at her house every single night her fiance wasn't there, I would be really pissed. & Of course she'd never force me to do that. Tell her, that you really care for her, but you don't feel that she should cry in front of you, because you get worried by it. =[
Also, try talking to your mom. See if maybe your sister & her child can stay the night at your house, instead of staying over there so you don't have to go there all the time. Tell your mom that you don't think it's fair that you have to go to her house everytime her husband isn't there. She's just dependent on you, you're probably the only person that she likes being around whenever her husband isn't there.. which isn't a very good thing. The only thing you can do is ask her why she's so dependent on you, and why she gets upset whenever you don't go over & stuff. Get your mom to talk to her toooo! =]
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