about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I want to drink more water because I get dehydrated but I don't want to drink it at school because it always makes me pee and I HATE using public bathrooms. So how do I get enough water for the day without having to pee at school?

Using public restrooms are a part of life. Doing so gets harder to avoid as you get older and go out in the world, dating, college and into the workforce. There are many different ways to address using public restrooms. Many have seat protectors you can place over the seat before sitting. If there is no seat protector you can use toilet paper to line the toilet seat.

TO do something as to harm yourself so you do not need to use the restroom while away from home is a problem that needs to be addressed professionally. You may be a bit of a germ a phoebe like Howie Mandel. This can be a real problem later in life if not addressed now.

I suggest you talk to your parents about this. Not staying hydrated so as not to use the restroom or trying to hold it in until you are home is harmful. Meeting with a psychologist may help you understand why you do this and help you get past this problem and live a more regular life.

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I dont want to study Engineering so my parents r not agreeing

There must be a reason they want you to study Engineering. One reason would be to follow in your father's foot steps and maybe join him in his company. This is admirable of them but do they understand that today to get an engineering license requires a Master Degree in Engineering is required.

If they are saying you take Engineering or we won't foot the bill for College; well they are being suborn and wrong. You don't say why you don't want to take Engineering. Have you explained to your parents why you do not want to study as they want? Have you told them what you wish to study?

They may think they are looking out for your best interest by forcing you to study a subject that will provide you with a great income. That is wonderful except for the fact that as my father once told me. "You can have all the money in the world and be miserable or you can work at something you love and make enough money to be comfortable and be happy."

You are 18 or about to turn 18. As an 18 year old you are legally an adult an no longer required to follow your parents wishes. They are no longer legally responsible for you either. If you wish you can strike out on your own and take whatever courses you wish using Pell grants, scholarships and student loans to get the education you want.

Should you decide to go this route I suggest going to a community college for the prerequisite courses and then transfer to a four year college for the core course. Doing this will save you a considerable amount of money; as I am assuming your parents will still allow you to live at home.

This is your life, you have to follow your instincts as to what you want from life. Just remember one thing. There are those people who fail to plan and those people who plan and fail. There is nothing wrong with planning and failing as long as you learn from your failure and make the correction and continue to your goal.

My father in-laws doctor followed his parents wishes and became an Engineer, he was miserable. When they passed away he went to medical school, which is what he always wanted to do. At 40 years of age he was the oldest resident in the program. He never regretted for a minute the hard work of the resident program. He became a great doctor. His only regret was he didn't have the back bone to stand up to his parents and follow his heart.

The choice is yours not your parents. It may be harder to get the degree you want. If so it will be more meaningful when you get that degree and you will be happy in what you do in life.

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I need to die to get out of my current situation. I need to do it fast and it has to be efficient. I tried to hang myself but after hanging there a moment I couldn't go through with it. I do not own a gun and I don't have pills just laying around so I need something household and efficient.

You have come to the wrong place for an answer to that question. We are here to help people solve problems. In all the years I have been doing this I have yet to see a problem we could not offer a solution too. Suicide is not an answer it is the wrong solution.

Just for the record after 35 years in the fire service I can tell you I have seen them all. There is no fast and efficient way to die. They are all slow and painful which is why fortunately most suicide attempts fail.

If you will write us back with your problem I'm sure one of us can offer a solution. You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Life Line. No matter what problems you are dealing with, they want to help you find a reason to keep living. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7. The call is free and totally confidential.

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hi when I was younger my dad and mom split up and I lived with my mom over the past 2 years my dad married my step mom and has two children witch are my step sisters and since i was 8 I have been able to fly back and forth every summer to visit my sisters but now im 13 years old and my dad and my step mom got a divorce and I barely see my sisters anymore and I also have problems at my home with my mom problem is my moms boyfriend she has been with for 3 years wont stop drinking and coming home and yells at her now right now my mom has about been I think 13 weeks pregnant and her boyfriend still wont stop drinking and now that im becoming a adult I want to live with my sisters really bad and ive been in a lot of stress because I will miss my mom but I really feel uncomfortable with her boyfriend over the past 3 years and she wont listen to me the other reason is I want to start my career early so I have a bigger success in life when I get older like modeling or acting and other stuff I haven't talked to my mom about this yet but I really want to be here for my sisters and I want to ask her but all my life she said no and no and no over an over and im too afraid to ask what should I do pls help :(

Where to start as there are some problems with what you are thinking that you have not considered. There is also some solutions that you can follow to help yourself and your mom.

Lets start with going to live with your stepsisters. Your stepmother has no legal responsibility for you. She may love you and she may have treated you as her own when you visited but legally she cannot be responsible for you. In order for you to live with her You mother, biological father and stepmother would have to enter into a legal guardianship arrangement where in your stepmother would take on the legal responsibility of parenting you.

Can such an arrangement happen? Yes it can but it has to happen between the adults it is not something you can legally start. Your biological father is still legally responsible for you until your 18 regardless of where he lives.

If you would prefer to live with your father's second wife I would suggest you contact him and tell him that you are not comfortable around your moms boyfriend. If you fear that in a drunken rage the boyfriend may harm you in some way say so to you father. You can also tell him how you miss your stepsisters and how you would like to live closer to them. Then you ask to come live with him. If that's not possible, then ask him if it is possible to live with your former stepmother.

If it is not possible to go live with him it is not because he doesn't love you. It would be because your mother was given legal custody of you in the divorce. In order for you to go live with your dad you mom would have to agree or dad would have to go to court to prove she was unfit.

Last if none of the above is possible and you are concerned for your safety you can go to the police and ask for help. They will help you contact child protective services (CPS) IF CPS finds you moms boyfriend is not fit to live with you and your mom he will be told to leave or they will take you from her. If they do then your dad would be asked to take custody of you or another relative. This would also be a time you could ask to be placed with you step mom and if she agreed CPS would make it happen.

These are your options, they are limited but they will work for you in the end. If you are ever afraid or if you mom's boyfriend ever hurts you, this includes threatening you. You have every right to call 911 and ask for help. You do not need permission to call for help.

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I am 17 and I know that i am bi but how do i tell my family. i have already come out to my friends, but dont know how to come out to my family

Before you decide on how to tell them first ask yourself these question.

This is who you are, your sexuality. Who in your family actually needs to know? Why do they need to know? Do you think it will change how they feel about you?

If telling your family that you are bisexual will change how they feel about you then they don't need to know. Your sexuality is who you are and much different than being gay. While there is nothing wrong with being gay; family members are much more apt to pick up on it than they would on being bi.

My thoughts are that if telling any member of your family you are bi then the rest of the family will learn of it eventually, this is almost a given. To me the over riding question is by informing your family of your sexuality change your relationship with them in any way. If the answer is yes then don't. Also you are still a minor and subject to parental rule which if your parents would not be accepting of your sexuality could make the time until your 18 very hard on every one especially you.

Once you have thought about the questions I have asked you to think about. If you decide that you must tell your family you start with your parents. Sit them down and tell it as it is. "Mom, dad I need for you to know this about me; I'm bisexual." Then shut your mouth and wait for their reaction.

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So I am 18 and I'm a college student working a part-time retail job to help pay for school, etc. I actually really like my job and love the people I work with...my managers on the otherhand...ehhh.

So one of my managers is 22. Since we are close in age, we sort of bonded. This is her first manager job and she's not the best...she doesn't know anything about running a store...but I still gave her a chance.. As the months went by, we got pretty close, she opened the door to joking around, etc. So one day, I made a joke(don't want to talk about) and she went behind my back and HR ended up writing me up for the joke. I felt so crushed, cause my manager was the one to open the door to joking. So I did apologize to my manager for the joke. We were good. I kept a distance from her and just continued on with my work. Well she noticed that I was sort of distnat with her so I told her that I was hurt by her. She didn't apologize or anything(I guess I really didn't expect her to)

So work just got awkward, some days she would either be really stand offish with me, or super nice to me! This has been going on for about 2 months now. A month ago, I did talk to her about it and she didn't say anything about it. So Whatever, I just let it go. But work is just weird now, like it makes me feel awkward and like I did something.

So about a month and a half ago, a different HR suggested that whenever I need to talk to my manager in her office that someone has to be present...totally stupid and came out of nowhere, I didn't even get an explanation for it. So now the stand offish crap and super nice crap is still going on...I just act like I don't notice it. But deep down, it really crushes me. I wanna have a good relationship with my boss, but her weird moods make it hard to do so... I do love my job and my co workers, and I don't wanna leave just cause of my manager, but now we barely even talk...not even about work things... I just feel so lost and helpless, and not being able to talk to my manager in her office without someone else present really bothers me...a lot.

So yesterday, I went into work to make a return, and my manager was there, so she stopped me and asked me about a issue that happened today with a different manager and one of my co workers(it was their issue but I saw it happen, I wasnt’ really involved)…so i told her what happened and kept it professional and was positive…

Then I told her this "I hope you know that I am trying and that you see that. I hope that one day we will be able to talk one day just one on one, that is something I would like to do. I just hope you see I'm trying" etc. I
was off the clock, so could I get in trouble for that Im actually really scared..what do you think will happen?

Razhie is right never assume anything. You now what happens when you break down the word assume, it makes an ass / u / me.

For whatever reasons HR put that rule into effect it protects both you and your manager. Many companies make managers out of those people who have been their the longest or who are good with paperwork. It does not mean they are people persons or make good people managers. HR may be aware of this and have put this rule into effect because she is a bad manager.

As to your actual question what happens outside of work should stay outside of work. From what you have written I don't see where you said anything she could get upset over. There are only a few weeks left to the summer so just try to hang in there and you will be back in school.

Next summer if she is still the manager of that store apply someplace else to work.

A thought just occured to me. It may be that you going to college and she being a working girl who may not have gone to college may make her jealous of you. IF this is the case there is nothing you can do about it and makes her a very small person. Just finish out the summer and co on to school and get you education.

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16\f

Okay so I'm on the pill (the 28 day pack) to help control my periods because they used to be really heavy and I normally get my period on the Wednesday before I would normally start my new pack. I'm literally about to start my new pack but my period isn't here? Like I think it started but there's barely any blood yet I'm bloated. And I haven't missed any pills this month, I take it at the same time each day and I haven't had intercourse so is there something wrong with me?

It is probably nothing to worry about. There are any number of reasons for missing a period other than pregnancy and since you have not had intercourse pregnancy is not the problem. Stress is the highest on the list followed by exercise as reasons for missing a period. Also for some one still in puberty it is not unusual a period now and them as different hormones are released.

If it makes you feel any better contact the doctor who prescribed the pills and ask if you should be concerned. I am fairly certain the doctor will say there is no reason for concern. I'm more certain upon hearing this from the doctor you will feel much better about missing your period. Most of all though try to relax and not get any more stressed out or you might miss another one.

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I dont know if its normal, i masterbate about 4 times a week, every time i do i watch porn, i love it and it fees so good. But is this normal. Im am 16 years old and im a boy

Most boys your age masturbate 3 to 4 times a day. Generally while watching porn or looking at porn magazines. It is absolutely normal and healthy for you to do so.

Okay if I'm telling you it is normal then why might your parents be telling you the opposite. Simple, and just for the record I'm old enough to be your grandfather. Parents tell their children masturbation is bad or a sin because it does feel good. In fact it feels so good that they fear you will want to have real sex and that scares them that you will have sex before you are mature enough to handle it.

As parents this is our greatest fear. Parents of the boy worry about the boy getting some girl pregnant and of course the girls parents worry their daughter will get pregnant. Of course their are way to prevent pregnancy and to teach safe sex. To do so though would be as much as giving permission to have sex therefore most parents don't do that.

So relax and continue to masturbate when you feel the need. Masturbation is a safe and satisfying way to relieve sexual tension.

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I know this question is somewhat weird but I just wanted to know if there is a way to find unanswered questions on this website. I even altered the sort mode to "unanswered questions first" but still can't find a question with no answers at all. I really love giving advice to people because I love helping out; it really cheers me up. That's the reason I signed up for this website but even the questions on the column on the right (Be the FIRST to answer these) have an answer/answers. I don't want to answer one of these questions because usually the answer which is already given is quite long and it already says everything I would say to answer the question so I find it pointless to confuse the person who asked the questions by repeating the same answer. Could someone please help me with this?

What Razhie has written is good advice. I can add little to what she has said other to say it in a slightly different manner which is really what I want to say to you.

When I come across a question that has multiple answers I first read the answers. Sometimes, though not often, I find that the advice given is not correct or contains some errors. I will then correct the misinformation. If there is no misinformation I look to see if I can give the answer to the question in a different manner on that might make understandable to the writer. If so I answer the question.

Some questions need multiple answers like suicide questions.. We rarely hear back from these people though I feel fortunate that I have heard back from a couple thanking me for what I wrote to them. It is my feeling the more of us that answer suicide type questions with positive and even repetitive question the better the possibility that we save this life. After a lifetime in the fire service life saving is a high priority of mine.

My advice is if you have something to say even if it is the same advice other have given say it. The manner in which you say may be just different enough to be meaningful to the writer.

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Basically, my boyfriend of two years invites me to lots of different events. We live 40 minutes drive apart and on the most part I go to events/occasions, like a birthday meal on his side or a wedding for someone only he knows.
But whenever I don't want to go to one of these events-for example a wedding-he kicks off and gets upset. He hates it if I refuse to go and says he'll break up with me. Am I in the wrong? Surely I have the right to say no to things I don't want to go to? Its not like I refuse EVERYTHING only one or two things. And we've been together for two years but he makes it sound like I'm expected to be there-and asks the host to invite me and him-and THEN says the host was looking forward to seeing me.
I feel like I don't have a choice...

You are not being unreasonable. As I see it you are dating, you are not living together and you are not engaged. Even if you were living together engaged or married you have every right to say no to going to certain events where you might feel uncomfortable. Even married couples occasionally go to family events alone. While the family may question where there spouse is they certainly have no reason to question why a girlfriend or boyfriend may be missing.

You boyfriend is being controlling when he say "go or I will break up with you." If he is like this now imagine what it will be like if you two decide to marry. It could and probably be far worse with you having to account for every minute you are not with him as this is how controlling people are.

You need to TELL your boyfriend that the next time he receives an invitation that you are not invited to that he needs to ask you first if you want to attend before asking the host or hostess to invite you. If he does not do this and you are invited after he is politely turn down the invitation. when your boyfriend say you either go or he will break up with you call his bluff and stay home.

IF he does break up with you then he really does not deserve you and you deserve some one better than him. You deserve someone that will honor you and treat you as an equal partner. From what you have written I don't see him being that type of person and the type he is can't be changed as it is a character flaw.

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i am a 25 year old single mom, i was working a job for five years, and i wasn't making much, so i found another job where i make more money... i was so happy, the happiest i been in a long time once i got the job, i was sad to leave the old job because i was cool with everyone, they all loved me. but now working at this new job i just feel like the outcast, most people don't speak to me, they have attitudes mostly, and when i need help, most of them are impatient, and sometimes rude to me. barely anyone even talks to me, some people may do a little, i even overheard some ppl talking bout me... and it hurts, and it's hard, because i am a hard working person, and i want a better life for my daughter and i. i mean, I've always been a loner kinda person, in high school, but like i was loved on my other job... and now i feel so awkward, so alone at a place im at five days a week, eight hours a day.. i'm not a quitter, i don't wanna give up... but this is hard u know, what should i do? no better question is, what would you do?

So you're the new kid on the block so to speak and finding it hard to break into the existing clicks. I think most of us have been there and have the mental scars to prove it.

Not knowing what type of work you do or how many people there are in the office I'm somewhat hampered in suggestions to make. If you are good at baking you could try bringing in a cake, cupcakes or even cookies to be shared during the coffee breaks or just to put out near the coffee pot. Someone I'm sure will ask who brought them and they will discover it is the new girl.

You could look at the calendar to see what holidays are coming up. The calendar is filled with little known holidays that are never celebrated like Italians Fisherman's day. You could try to organize a potluck lunch to celebrate. August has five full weekends, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays. This will not happen again for decades definitely something to celebrate. If you are fortunate enough to be paid every two weeks the month has an extra payday in it as well another thing to celebrate. Then there is also the option of inviting some of the people you would like to know better to your home for cocktail or dinner.

These are just some of the things I can think of. Listen to what they talk about and be creative in trying to immerse yourself into their clicks. You have to go from being a loner to being more outgoing and that will take time and effort on your part.

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Something really weird happened recently my 7 year old sister came to me and asked why when she thinks about our cousin her panties get wet (our cousin is 20) so i asked her what she thinks about when that happens to her she said she thinks about him when we go to the beach with him. obviously there's more but i feel sickened to even think that my little sister has a crush on him anyway i told her that she should never think about that ever again then she started crying and told me she thought she could trust me then she stormed off to her room so i was wondering what i should do now should i tell him or should i tell my mom i just don't even know.

It is a bit early for your sister to be having this type of reaction to having a crush on someone. Though having a crush on someone is not all that unusual. You need to do two things;

First: Go to your sister and explain that she is not wrong in having a crush on someone older than her. What is wrong is that having a crush on a family member. Now this is where you have to explain something that might be hard for a seven year old to understand. Try telling her what is wrong is more of an adult thing that when will understand when she is older. If she still doesn't understand and you are religious or church goers just say the Bible says so. But don't say it is a sin.

Second: Since this is a sign that puberty may becoming on you need to tell your mother. Seven years old is too young for a girl to be going through puberty. There are external and internal reason why this could be happening. External ones could even be affecting you without you knowing it.

What you tell your mother is your sister told you something in confidence that you need to tell her but only because you think your sister needs to see a doctor not that she has done anything wrong and you hope she will keep your confidence. Then tell her what your sister said.

It is important to your sister health and general welfare that you discuss this with your mother today. Take her aside, into her bedroom or yours and tell her. I'm certain your mother will know what to do.

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So I am 28 weeks pregnant. My baby's father and I are no longer together. We broke up last year of May, he found a new girlfriend. I was doing fine, then he came back around this year of January and we started talking again, and as soon as that happened I got pregnant. Me and him both have deep feelings for eachother, I do still love him. Im still in love with him due to the fact i really havent been able to get over him because I really thought we were going to be together, but he doesnt want me anymore he wants someone else. My question is am i wrong for not wanting the baby to go around him and his girlfriend just yet because im not over him. I wont keep him from seeing his son, but i just am not quite ready to let my baby go around another woman. And also take into consideration he has been lying to me through this whole pregnancy, he tells me he wants to be with me but he cant because he is using the other girl for her car and she helps him get around to his job. But now he texts me and tells me that he really just wants to be with her. and he was just lying to me because he didnt want to hurt my feelings.. but now im just trying to get over him i jus want us to raise our son and be good parents. but am i wrong for not wanting our son to be around the girlfriend yet?

Right or wrong is not the consideration at the moment. There are certain legal considerations that have to be allowed for whether you or he like them or not.

First: For the next 18 years he is legally required to support his son. Now every state has slightly different laws as to how much monetary support he must provide to you and what other support in the way of health insurance and life insurance he must have to cover these items until his son turns 18. Once the boy turn 18 he is no longer legally required to support him.

What you must do now is see a lawyer and have custody papers drawn up where in all of this is worked out and ordered by the courts. He may be saying now he is willing to support his son though without a court order he can walk away at any time

Second: As the father of the child he is also legally entitled to unsupervised visitation unless there are legal reasons for not granting unsupervised visitation. During this visitation if he wants to bring his son to his home where another woman is living with him there is nothing you can do unless it is spelled out in the court orders you obtain. So it is important that you see a lawyer and get the child support and visitation orders worked out now, before the baby is born.

Don't be surprised or insulted if through his lawyer there is a request for paternity. This is a common practice and a delaying his lawyer may invoke if your OB does not want to do one know or if his lawyer wants a blood test. Let your lawyer do the talking. If you can't afford a lawyer contact the clerk of the courts at your District Court about having a lawyer appointed to you. Some Lawyers will even offer you a payment plan as well.

My advice is now is not the time to worry if your are right or wrong. Now is the time to make sure you do what is need to insure your baby gets everything he is legally entitled to from his father. As part of the custody negotiations you can discuss visitation and any you might have any limitations you may want to place. Once agreed to they will be ordered by the Court. This is the right and legal way to go about this. Do not take the father's word that he will always be there for his son. Get the court order.

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STD from blow jobs

If your asking can you get an STD from a blow job the answer is yes. You can both give and get an STD from giving or receiving a blow job.

One of the most common STDS that are both given and received in a blow job is Herpes. A cold sore is a form of Herpes. It is not the same type of Herpes usually considered as an STD but if the person giving the BJ has a BJ or oral sex the virus can be transmitted to the person receiving oral sex.

Best advice I can give concerning cold sores. If you or your partner have a cold sore; refrain from kissing or oral sex until it is healed and gone. Even though it is a different type of the Herpes virus you do not want it on your private parts.

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I want to start packing lunch next year (I'm going to highschool) but I don't want to have a plain peanut butter and jelly everyday. I want it to be healthy but not repetitive. But my parents are also on a budget. Plus I don't want my lunch food to get eaten by my family. And I also don't want my mom to have to rush to the store every night before school to get my lunch. So do you have any tips for packing lunch? Or ever lunch recipes?

Being on a budget means mom probably cannot buy lunches specific for you for every school day without busting her food budget. Without knowing what your food likes and dislikes are it is also hard to make suggestions as to what you could pack for lunch. I understand having PB&J every day is more than boring though it is far better than having nothing at all to eat.

With those limitations to work with what I suggest is you sit down with mom and discuss what she can do to pack a lunch for you other than PB&J. What she can buy when she shops that won't break her grocery budget of foods that can be packed for you and possibly other members of the family as well. When something can be shared by other family members it becomes less expensive as it will feed more than one.

Start by making a list, actually write it down, of what you would like to take for lunch. Tuna Fish and Egg Salad sandwiches can be packed along with cold juice cartons. The juice cartons will keep the sandwiches cold enough so they don't spoil before lunch. These two are fairly inexpensive for mom to make for you. Leftovers are also something that most of the time can be made into a sandwich, Hamburgers and meatballs make wonderful sandwiches. Salads are another good lunch to take to school. If mom has any Tub Aware you can put the salad in that along with almost anything left over from dinner sliced over the salad. Salad dressing can go in a small separate container. Add in a roll or slice of bread, a juice carton or milk and you have a great lunch.

What I'm trying to say is you can be very creative without breaking the budget. Just take the time to sit with mom and talk about what is possible to take to school.

If mom is constantly making PB&J it also may be because that is all she has time to make. You're going into high school which would make you 13 or 14 years old. Your old enough to pack your own lunches before going to bed. Doing this ensures you get a lunch you want and not what mom has time to throw together in the morning or before she goes to bed. Think about it.

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Hi guys! I'm twenty and my boyfriend is twenty two. He and I are going away for the first time in August and I'm so nervous about it. We've been dating for a couple of months now, I've gotten quite acclimated to his friend group and vice versa-he with mine. So, anyway, his friends are all planning a big beach trip and he asked me to go along. We're renting a beach house that sleeps ten so the more people we get, the better it will be for everyone money wise. Anyway, I'm excited for it since it's a bunch of people that I like and get along with. But I'm so nervous that it's going to be our first time away together. I know in relationships, there's a first for everything but this is kind of a big deal.

I'm guessing we would share a room in the house and that kind of thing but that would be the first time that we would be sleeping in the same bed and even having a "sleepover". I know that the night time is really the only time that we will be alone too, with so many friends going and sharing a house, there's going to be someone everywhere besides our shared room.

My parents are strict, so he hasn't every stayed over my house for a night. I'm the little girl in my family so they're both just protective of me, but they both really like him and his group of friends, which is why they're letting me go away to the beach with them.

I'm especially nervous since the couple of days we are utilizing to go to the beach are the three days before my birthday and everyone that is going to the beach, is going to my birthday. We're all already planning to get rooms, we're having my birthday at the casino and since it's my 21st, I don't trust myself, nor any of my friends to drive home afterwards so we're all getting a couple hotel rooms for the night. And with my over thinking, I've come to the conclusion that if the beach days go bad or they're awkward, sleeping arrangement wise, I feel like my birthday is going to be awkward as well with the sleeping arrangements.

I like him a lot, I do. I'm making him seem strange with how awkward I know he's going to be but he isn't awkward in any other regard, I just don't think he wants to overstep his boundaries, he still wants to be a gentleman which I do respect. I think it's just him realizing that we aren't going to have our own, separate houses to go back to when we're done hanging out, when we're tired and ready for bed, we have to go back to the same room for the entire night.

Anyway, I guess my question to all of this is: how do I get over feeling like this so I don't ruin the two trips with my over thinking? I've been told that my over thinking has ruined things in the past and I don't want to do that here. How do I just go to the beach and be with him and all of his friends and enjoy the time with them and have it not be weird at the end of the night? Any help is appreciated, if you yourself dealt with a similar situation your first time away with your significant other.

Thanks!

After reading everything you have written I believe the overriding question is, will you have sex with him at the beach house or will he expect you to have sex with him since you will be sleeping in the same bed?

You don't say if you're a virgin or not, I have a feeling you may be. Even if you're not the elephant in the room is sex so why not get that question out of the way before you get to the beach.

First you're over 18 legally an adult responsible for your own actions. If you want a sex life it is your choice to have one or not to have one. The same goes for going to the beach with your boyfriend; your parents really have no say in what you do anymore. It is great that you wish to honor them by asking their advice but in the end it is your choice they cannot punish you for going or not going or having a sex life.

Now the question of sex. If you want to have sex with him then say so. You may not want your first time, with him or if you are a virgin, to be in a house full of other people. That would be understandable. The first time you have sex or the first time you have sex with someone you would want your privacy. Even though you would have your own room two places where your privacy is not totally private are beach houses and cruise ship cabins. These walls are thin and the people in the next room can hear everything that goes on generally speaking.

If you do want to have sex with him a better place would be at the casino where I'm sure you will be more comfortable and have more privacy. If you are a virgin and wish to remain one then tell him so. IF you want to wait for a more private location to have sex with him tell him that.

You can sleep in the same bed and not have sex as long as you have no expectation of sex. My wife's roommate had boyfriends spend the night all the time. When she was not going to have sex with them they slept in the same bed with two sets of blankets. She slept under one, he slept on top of that one and under the other. They could cuddle, kiss and make out but the blankets acted as an old fashion bungling board separating them.

Short answer to your question so as not to over think or ruin this for you and him. Remove the elephant in the room and discuss whether or not you will have sex with him at the beach house. Once the expectations are known you can both have a good time. If you are not going to have sex with him tell him why especially if you are one who wishes to wait for marriage. If he truly loves you he will understand.

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I feel like a terrible granddaughter right now. My paternal grandfather is currently in the hospital. His mouth keeps on filling up with blood and it's making him gag. Judging from the last time that we spoke to him, the doctors have no idea what is going on.

For most of my life I was not close to him. In my opinion, he never really made much of an effort to be in my life. He was someone who never called and who I rarely saw. Honestly, I never thought that he loved me. My sister feels the same way.

There were times that he really hurt me. For example, when he did not attend my high school graduation dinner, after telling me that he would attend. Instead he chose to stay at home with his puppy when my godmother (my aunt) was going to pick him up.

When I was speaking on the phone to him, he told me, "So, I was speaking to your sister today, and I heard that the two of you think that I am a lousy grandfather." I could tell that he was hurt by that. Hearing that I knew that he loved us, and he is my grandfather, so I obviously love him too.

How can I show that I do love him, and that I do forgive him? Life is short and I want a relationship with my grandpa, who I know now loves me. I can see him a lot more now, because I am graduating out of college soon and I plan on getting an apartment close by to where he lives. He's in good spirits, a true fighter, and everyone thinks that he will pull through.

My long-term boyfriend and I are going to the hospital to visit him, and he will be the first one on my dad's side of the family (the side that I am closest to) to meet him. I am hoping that he likes my boyfriend as much as I do and grows to love him as family.

This is a tough question to answer. Hopefully the doctors will correct whatever is wrong with your grandfather and you will have the time to show him that you do love him.

By introducing him to you boyfriend as the first member of the family outside your immediate family you are showing him how much he means to you. When you introduce your boyfriend make sure to tell him he is the first extended member of the family to meet him and that you wanted him to be the first one to meet him.

It is hard to say why you felt your grandfather did not love you. There could be a valid reason why he chose to stay home rather than come to your graduation dinner so on this you might give him the benefit of the doubt.

Your grandfather might be like my wife's father was. He believed that it was the parent's job to parent not the grandparent and he took a hands off approach. When we visited he did not play with my son but when he was older they would talk. Now we did find out that he did have a favorite among his three grandchildren which was of course the child of his daughter. We found this out by looking at how prominently awards and things my son earned were displayed over those of his cousins. It wasn't right and my wife even spoke to her dad about it. But that was the way he was.

As with his children he rewarded excellence. When my son did things he was proud of he rewarded him in his own way. I don't know your grandfather but is it possible my father in-law and your grandfather are alike. If so it is not that he didn't love you he just had what we could call old world ways about him. Not like grandparents depicted in TV shows from Hollywood.

My suggestion is you really don't have to tell him you love him, especially after your sister has said otherwise. You show him by making time for him. Invite him to your apartment when you move in, even if you are living with your boyfriend. Go and get him if you have to and have him spend an afternoon with you and cook him a dinner he likes.

You and your boyfriend could plan some outings with your grandfather to places he might enjoy going or just a picnic by a lake or the seaside depending on where you live.

Doing is the best way to show someone you love them. In this case making time for a grandparent is the best way to show your love for them. As in our busy the busy day to day world we live in it is our grandparents that often get forgotten.

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I don't know what I am.ever since I was young I knew what sex was and I always wanted to have it. I wanted to do it with boys and girls and I find them both attractive I watched porn at 10 and started masterbating at 12. If I see a boys or girls butt it turns me on and I want to experience sex with them both but im 13. I need help im scared of the shame plus im young and my hormones are raging.

Relax your normal. If you were gay you would have none this long before puberty started. What you are experiencing is normal for young people in the early stages of puberty.

Wanting to experience sex with someone of your same sex is not being gay. It is being safe. Sex or experimenting sexually with the same sex is safe and less embarrassing than with the opposite sex. It is a way to learn about sex between two people. For the most part boys will give each other hand jobs. Some may even go as far to give each other blow jobs but that's the limit. I'm not sure exactly what girls do but it is similar.

Once you are comfortable sexually with your own sex you are ready to move on to experimenting with the opposite sex. It usually starts with make out session and moves on from their. Eventually you get comfortable enough to have intercourse with the opposite sex

Having the feelings you have now does not mean your gay or even bi. It means you are experimenting and learning about your sexuality.

Your raging hormones are normal and by masturbating you are doing what is normal to cool them down. Don't be so hard on yourself for being a normal 13 year old just enjoy being 13. Don't put any labels on yourself or let anyone put them on you.

You need time and you need to experiment with your sexuality to know who you are sexually. Gay you're not. Could you be bi, time will tell and if you are it is no big deal, it is who you are. Just relax and enjoy life.

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Hi I work at a car repair shop. Sometimes customers refuse to get work done on their car even if it is a severe safety hazard. I like to type on the invoice that the customer has been made aware of such and such and declined repairs and that the company is not responsible for anything that happens to the vehicle in result of what was found wrong with it once it leaves the shop. I tried finding legal pages online to see how to exactly word it but I was getting annoyed trying to search the web. Could anyone help me with how to word this and what wording to use (correct and legal) that shows my company is not liable for anything that happens once that car leaves my shop. Thanks

The best answer is to have a lawyer write something that will stand up in court. Trying to be your own lawyer is like trying to be your own doctor it will cost you more in the end.

For a simple declaration I would say a lawyer would probably charge between $200 and $300. Tell the lawyer you need something simple that you can easily explain to the customer and you can list below the items that are a safety hazard or make the vehicle unsafe to drive.

This should be printable on your shop computer with two copies. one of which you or the technician delivering the car signs. The other the customer and you sign that you keep for your records with the repair order.

The statement is fairly simple though it has to be legally worded if it is to stand up in court. Word it improperly and you may as well not bothered to have the customer sign it. Lawyers live by the written word. You wouldn't want a lawyer repairing cars you should not try being a lawyer. Stick to what you do best and let the lawyer do what needs to be done to protect you.

In the long run it will be money well spent if you are ever sued for work not done.

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Hi, Im over 18 I don't want to say how old but ill say I'm over 18 not by much though. But anyways. I saw a couple pictures of girls that were under 18 like between 13-17 that were sexy pictures like of their butts in really short shorts or bikinis or underwear or like highschool cheerleaders up skirt pictures and I kind of grew a liking to looking at them. I'm just wondering before I get myself in trouble..if I were to save any of these pictures to my phone or computer, could I get in trouble? Girls under 18 but none of the pictures are naked or showing any private parts. underwear and bra are the least clothing no nudes. Could I get in trouble if caught with these?

Whether these pictures are pornographic or not; or if they are illegal depends on the manner in which they were taken. Picture taken of females up their skirts without their consent is called "Up Skirting" and is illegal. There are porn sites that cater to this fetish and the pictures are supposed to be of women over 18.

If these pictures are of girls in the ages you write of then they are child pornography as girls of this age are under the age of consent. Any underage girl who willingly participates cannot legally consent to having these pictures taken which makes these pictures child pornography. If anyone you know is sending you these pictures they are guilty of distribution of Child pornography and you are guilty of receiving. All are prosecutable offenses with serious jail time.

My advice, don't save them and if you are receiving them from anyone tell them to stop or unsubscribe from the site.

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