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advice with my difficult manager
So I am 18 and I'm a college student working a part-time retail job to help pay for school, etc. I actually really like my job and love the people I work with...my managers on the otherhand...ehhh.
So one of my managers is 22. Since we are close in age, we sort of bonded. This is her first manager job and she's not the best...she doesn't know anything about running a store...but I still gave her a chance.. As the months went by, we got pretty close, she opened the door to joking around, etc. So one day, I made a joke(don't want to talk about) and she went behind my back and HR ended up writing me up for the joke. I felt so crushed, cause my manager was the one to open the door to joking. So I did apologize to my manager for the joke. We were good. I kept a distance from her and just continued on with my work. Well she noticed that I was sort of distnat with her so I told her that I was hurt by her. She didn't apologize or anything(I guess I really didn't expect her to)
So work just got awkward, some days she would either be really stand offish with me, or super nice to me! This has been going on for about 2 months now. A month ago, I did talk to her about it and she didn't say anything about it. So Whatever, I just let it go. But work is just weird now, like it makes me feel awkward and like I did something.
So about a month and a half ago, a different HR suggested that whenever I need to talk to my manager in her office that someone has to be present...totally stupid and came out of nowhere, I didn't even get an explanation for it. So now the stand offish crap and super nice crap is still going on...I just act like I don't notice it. But deep down, it really crushes me. I wanna have a good relationship with my boss, but her weird moods make it hard to do so... I do love my job and my co workers, and I don't wanna leave just cause of my manager, but now we barely even talk...not even about work things... I just feel so lost and helpless, and not being able to talk to my manager in her office without someone else present really bothers me...a lot.
So yesterday, I went into work to make a return, and my manager was there, so she stopped me and asked me about a issue that happened today with a different manager and one of my co workers(it was their issue but I saw it happen, I wasnt’ really involved)…so i told her what happened and kept it professional and was positive…
Then I told her this "I hope you know that I am trying and that you see that. I hope that one day we will be able to talk one day just one on one, that is something I would like to do. I just hope you see I'm trying" etc. I
was off the clock, so could I get in trouble for that Im actually really scared..what do you think will happen?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Razhie is right never assume anything. You now what happens when you break down the word assume, it makes an ass / u / me.
For whatever reasons HR put that rule into effect it protects both you and your manager. Many companies make managers out of those people who have been their the longest or who are good with paperwork. It does not mean they are people persons or make good people managers. HR may be aware of this and have put this rule into effect because she is a bad manager.
As to your actual question what happens outside of work should stay outside of work. From what you have written I don't see where you said anything she could get upset over. There are only a few weeks left to the summer so just try to hang in there and you will be back in school.
Next summer if she is still the manager of that store apply someplace else to work.
A thought just occured to me. It may be that you going to college and she being a working girl who may not have gone to college may make her jealous of you. IF this is the case there is nothing you can do about it and makes her a very small person. Just finish out the summer and co on to school and get you education.
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You should consider that perhaps, the reason you have been asked not to speak to your boss alone, is because HR is concerned about HER behaviour, not yours. If they are aware or concerned about her moodiness. If they didn't tell you WHY they had this new rule, you shouldn't assume it's because you did something wrong. That might not be the case.
I don't think you'll get in any trouble for speaking to her off the clock like that, but honestly, it might be best for you to try and find another job. There is a lot of needless stress for you at this one. It's nice to be friends with your boss, but it's not necessary.
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