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my 7 year old sister has a crush on my 20 year old cousin
Something really weird happened recently my 7 year old sister came to me and asked why when she thinks about our cousin her panties get wet (our cousin is 20) so i asked her what she thinks about when that happens to her she said she thinks about him when we go to the beach with him. obviously there's more but i feel sickened to even think that my little sister has a crush on him anyway i told her that she should never think about that ever again then she started crying and told me she thought she could trust me then she stormed off to her room so i was wondering what i should do now should i tell him or should i tell my mom i just don't even know.
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It is a bit early for your sister to be having this type of reaction to having a crush on someone. Though having a crush on someone is not all that unusual. You need to do two things;
First: Go to your sister and explain that she is not wrong in having a crush on someone older than her. What is wrong is that having a crush on a family member. Now this is where you have to explain something that might be hard for a seven year old to understand. Try telling her what is wrong is more of an adult thing that when will understand when she is older. If she still doesn't understand and you are religious or church goers just say the Bible says so. But don't say it is a sin.
Second: Since this is a sign that puberty may becoming on you need to tell your mother. Seven years old is too young for a girl to be going through puberty. There are external and internal reason why this could be happening. External ones could even be affecting you without you knowing it.
What you tell your mother is your sister told you something in confidence that you need to tell her but only because you think your sister needs to see a doctor not that she has done anything wrong and you hope she will keep your confidence. Then tell her what your sister said.
It is important to your sister health and general welfare that you discuss this with your mother today. Take her aside, into her bedroom or yours and tell her. I'm certain your mother will know what to do.
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i agree with the other poster, its natural to start to feel things for her that are confusing, hes of the opposite sex and right now thats all that matters for her.
i would go back and tell her that shes not a freak or weird and that youll never tell anyone else and that shes allowed to have the feelings she has just not about family members. and try to be nice about it because the hurt feelings with trust may last ALOT longer then even the conversation she had with you about your cousin and you dont want her to NOT trust you. so i would think more about repairing that. the other thing will blow over and i wouldnt make a big deal about it, shes just young and confused right now.
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I imagine it is rather a shock. It would possibly be less surprising if she was twelve or thirteen (when crushes on all sorts of people from cousins to rockstars and movie stars are very common). There's no need to feel sickened though, so try to avoid that. It's a bit of a crush/hero worship thing and not a sign that there is anything wrong with sis. She won't have a strongly formed idea about what's appropriate at seven. In fact it's rather young to make any sort of rational appeal to her other than how you have done, by telling she shouldn't. Which has upset her a bit. But explaining in depth would mean explaining a lot of things to her that you won't want to start explaining, so I see your problem. I feel pretty sure that after her tantrum it will all blow over and she'll find plenty of other stuff to amuse her before long. She won't understand issues of a sexual nature at seven (and rightly so) but she definitely WILL have some opinions about trust. So I don't think you should break the trust she has shown in you by telling your mom. Not unless things look like developing in a way that cause you real concern anyway. I doubt they will (assuming your cousin hasn't any intention of manipulating the situation...I'm not suggesting anything about him of course so don't be offended). It sounds like a childhood phase that will quickly be forgotten to me. You probably wouldn't worry if she spent hours looking at pictures of a pop star and idolising him, and there would be something of a naively 'sexual' element in that too.
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