Gender:
MaleMember Since:
June 18, 2009Answers:
8136Last Update:
May 26, 2019Visitors:
139630Favorite Columnists
karenR
AyyItsKristen
Erinn_the_bamf
Xui
storageanddisposal
lvr
Smartone
bewise
GradingCurve
anonymous99
HildaJrCarter
more...
Main Categories:
General Sex Questions
Abusive Relationships
Cooking
View All
about
My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
I would like to know how to bring and please another woman for the first time with my husband?
This is not an easy question to answer without delving into your sex life with your husband. What I will say is this.
Having a threesome may sound exciting or maybe your doing so to please your husband. Maybe you are looking satisfy a fantasy he has as many men have them or you think this may be a way to spice up your marriage. Before you do so stop and think about it. Group sex is not a way to repair a sex life or a marriage that may be on the rocks. There are times a fantasy is better left a fantasy.
Is the women a friend or a stranger. Would you be more comfortable if the woman was a stranger to both of you or a friend of one or both of you. This is another question to answer. Would your husband be more comfortable with a friend or a stranger or someone you both know.
If you do go through with this then I suggest you and the other lady discuss what and how you are going to do things. Find out her likes, dislikes and no-no's. Have a plane as to what and how don't wing it. Let her know what your husband likes and if this is his fantasy just what his fantasy is.
My suggestion is that you do not do this for the majority of the time it turns out bad. Then we end up with questions on where did we/I go wrong and how do we/I repair this.
I am 17 years old. I have a month old baby & we both live with my dad. the babies dad is around and he's a great dad. He takes him when I have to work which is very helpful. He's definitely gotten his life together since my son was born. He has a job & plans on helping me with anything I need help with. But the problem is my dad is constantly putting his nose in our business when it comes to my son. For example I go to work from 4 to 11 & my sons dad picks me and the baby up takes me to work and watches him till I get off. My dad doesn't like my son out that late but he's a BABY! He doesn't know if it's day or night. Why does it matter? And it's our baby. It's what we have to do to provide for our son. I have to WORK. But my dad saids I don't but I don't want to depend on him I like having my own money and taking care of things on my own. He's always trying to tel us what to do with our son. How can I address to him in a respectful way to stop? I'm only 17 but I know when it comes to my child & my sons dad is 20 he's know too. We got this but my dad won't back off. and now he wants me to put my child's dad on child support but i don't feel the need to do that. I don't want to but my dad insist! Yes I am leaving under his roof but im barely an expense to him. I pay for my own clothes, food, & rides to work. Not only that I pay for my sons formula, diapers, wipes, etc anything he needs!! Please help I don't know what to do!!! I WANT TO MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS
First there is one thing I so agree with your dad on and that is court ordered child support. Without that order at anytime you child's father can walk away from his responsibilities. What the court will order are three very important things that are needed for the health and well being of you son.
1. A sum of money each month until the child is 18. The boy is his responsibility and he must bear the burden of the financial responsibility of raising him until the child is 18.
2. Health insurance. This is very important. The court will order him to maintain a health insurance policy for the boy, either through his employer or stand alone until the boy is 18. If you also have health insurance through work this is a plus and it will lower your health costs as your insurance on your son will pick up what your husbands does not pay such as copays.
3. Last is he must maintain a Life insurance policy in the aggregate amount equal to what he would pay in child support until the child is 18.
These three things are very important. I know right now he may be doing the right thing. If there are no plans for you two to marry and even if there are; until you are you must put the baby first. If there are no plans to marry he could at anytime move away, marry someone else and just walk away from you and your son. Things change over time and you need the protection of the court order for your son's well being.
As for the other things you write about I agree with you that your father should let you raise your child. The problem is you are not legally an adult yet and will not be until your 18 which makes your dad legally responsible for you and his grandson.
I can think of many respectful ways to talk to your dad though the facts remain he has the ultimate responsibility for you and his grandson at the moment. You could try to explain to him nicely that your understand he still sees you as a child, his child. Though you are a mother now and as a mother certain instincts of motherhood come with it. You appreciate his caring but you are ultimately the one who must make the decisions with the boys father as what is right for the boy.
Also do as I have said and tell him you are willing to speak to a lawyer about child support and custody rights. Visitation for the father and if you want the father's parents as your son is there grandson too.
Hi, I'm 14 (almost 15), and I want to be a proffesional singer when I grow up (I know, SO unrealistic *sarcasm*). Anyway, I took singing lessons a year ago, and I quit on my own will because I didn't like the songs I had to sing to stretch my voice.
I know that is a REALLY REALLY stupid reason to quit, and I realized it quick after. I asked my mom if I could take singing lessons again and she said no.
One, for the fact that I myself quit them, and two, my mom just gave birth to my baby brother and he's two weeks old and she doesn't want "screaming" (my singing) in the house (I have a loud voice).
My mom told me if I can find someone who has their own studio, I can take the lessons.
I literally went to the tenth google page to find someone in my area who can coach me, but literally NO ONE has a studio, they're all teachers that need to come to your house to teach you.
Please help, I don't know what to do anymore, and I know this is all my fault but I'm really desperate. Please help?
P.S.- I have done school choir before, nd I didn't like it because it doesn't suit my voice. MY voice isn't light and airy, my voice is very loud, and it's suited more for pop/rock/jazz.
I'm sure there is a question her but I'm not seeing it. What would you like help with?
i only finger one or 2 time by my self would that effect me i really worried can and no im not in a relationship and im 18
You cannot get pregnant from fingering yourself. You can only get pregnant from sexual intercourse with a man. His penis must penetrate your vagina and ejaculate sperm into you.
Fingering yourself or masturbating as it is properly called is not harmful and as you have probably found out quite pleasant. Masturbating is also very good for you as it relieves sexual tension. You can finger yourself and remain a virgin as a virgin is described as anyone who has not had sexual intercourse. Virginity is lost the moment a boy penetrates your vagina with his penis. If your Hymen is intact then virginity is lost as soon as he breaks through the Hyman.
Many of today's women lose the hymen from active lifestyles. Not having a hymen does not mean you have lost your virginity.
If you find fingering yourself pleasant and wish to continue then do so. No harm can come to you and you cannot get pregnant. I suggest you do so in the privacy of your bedroom with the door closed and locked so you are not disturbed.
During my last year of school, when everyone else was revising for their exams and preparing for university, I was spending all of my time reading fanfiction. Suddenly, it's August 2014 and I've managed to get into university despite intentionally sabotaging three of my exams because I didn't have the guts to tell my parents I had no desire to go to uni in September.
For six months I dragged myself to uni everyday to go to classes for a degree I didn't want to do. Whilst my classmates were making notes and asking questions, I was doodling (despite my total lack of artistic prowess) and staring blankly out of the window. Eventually I started willing myself to be sick so I had an excuse not to show up for class. Slowly, I stopped attending and instead spent my days hidden under my winter duvet pondering my pitiful existence and why I felt so unfulfilled. I was easily spending four hours a day doing nothing but watching the ceiling.
So, after a year of this torture I dropped out. It's been seven months since I left and I still feel immensely unhappy. I have a Saturday job but that's it since no one is hiring where I live and I can't yet drive to apply anywhere else. So what do I do? I occasionally think about going back to university to do a different degree but I can't decide what, and I don't want to end up on another course that I don't enjoy. Despite what my family think, I don't want to spend all my time in bed thinking about the futility of life but that's all I feel capable of right now. I try drag myself out of this pit but then I blink and I've spent five hours face down on the floor because I just couldn't get up. Everything feels pointless but I don't want it to feel that way. I want to find something I love and to go out and chase it. I want to got to uni or get a job and be happy but I don't know what will make me happy, and I can't afford to not know (student finance won't pay for me to mess up again). So I suppose my question is, what next? How do I work out my next step? How do I find the thing that makes me happy? What do I do with my life? How do I stop everything feeling so meaningless?
I'm not certain what country your from but I believe you may be from a country that has National Health Insurance. If so you need to find a psychologist who will see you under the National Health Insurance program for I believe your lack of motivation is related to a form of depression. Just why you are depressed will come out in therapy sessions with the psychologist and with his or her help you will overcome the problem.
Once you overcome what is troubling you then you can focus on what you want to with your life( Since you have not direction, not your fault something to talk over with the psychologist) there are test you can take that will tell you what you are best suited for. Based on these tests you can then decide what courses to take at Uni.
Don't be surprised if the test points you in a direction you least expect. I took this test probably when I was your age. The test indicated a career in Sales and Marketing. I considered myself a shy introverted person there was no way I could be successful in that career. Well it is 40 years later and I have just retired from a very successful 30 year career in sales and marketing. What I have learned over the years is that there are times people and yes test will see or reveal things in us that we will never see in ourselves.
MY advice is to see you family doctor and get screened for depression. It is a simple verbal test. Then find a psychologist your comfortable with to get at the root cause of your depression if found to be depressed. When the psychologist feels your ready take a test to see what you are best suited to do in life.
my girlfriend and I broke up a week ago and I want to die life just doesn't matter anymore
Hey guy no girl is worth killing yourself over. Trust me we have all been where you are right now and survived. You don't realize I right now but she has done you a big favor by letting you go.she is giving you the chance to get back in the game and meet new women. A women who will truly appreciate who you are and love you for who and what you are.
You did not give your age but I am going to assume your a teenager. Most teenagers have multiple girlfriends or boyfriend while in high school. It is all part of the social atmosphere of school.
If your older in college or even out in the world count yourself very lucky that she left you. She was probably trying to make you over into her idea of what a husband should be and not being successful. Had she been you would have been miserable and writing to us as to how that happened and what to do about it.
Whichever is the case take the words my mother would give me. "There are plenty of fish in the sea, Bait your hook and go fishing." "There is someone out there waiting to meet you." For me there was and I met her 45 years ago and we have been together ever since.
Me and my crush used to work together now we work for diff companies….I’m 31 female and my crush is 41 male well he flirts all the time with me, passes by my office daily, touches me in some form so I asked him was he single he said yes and smiled at me. I didn’t believe him, I said you are too cute to be single he smiled again…well I got some guts and asked him.to lunch and he said we’ll see well, that never happened…I found it odd since he picks on me daily and flirts and stares at me…so I did some research and found out he is engaged and has been for three years, which I don’t understand why he lied…. well ever since I asked him to lunch and that hasn’t happened I’ve noticed when he sees me with other men or people in general he gets jealous hearted and he just stares at me with this hurt sometimes angry look on his face. I’ve never told him I know he is engaged, because if I do he will know I was digging on his Facebook page, and I don’t want him to think of me as a stalker…I love talking to him etc…..but I really don’t know if I should say something at all or just leave this all alone and let him regret his actions….and me and him talk when we talk…my mom says that any man that isn’t married is single…so he can date whom he wants…..he isn’t obligated to anyone….I think too me it seems like since he can’t have me in the manner that he wants, it hurts him every time he sees me, or he knows I know he is engaged and may be wondering why I haven’t said anything to him… he doesn’t pass by my office anymore nor have we spoken since he has seen me talking to other men/and or getting rides from males that I know been about a week now. (he never asked me who they were either).they are family members btw.., he has slowly started coming back around….still flits etc, and stares at me. if I’m out during lunchtime he will wait for me so we can walk back to the office together etc….even some of our mutual work “friends” think we are dating but we aren’t. just the other day i seen him and he stood in my work doorway smirking at me, with a very divious look in his eyes...im starting to feel uneasy now... I don’t understand him, if there are no feelings for me in any shape or form, and he doesn’t like me like that, nor want me for a g/f then why is he acting this way?
It has been many decades since I've dated, four and a half to be exact. Even so I do not believe something's have changed. If you are engaged it means you have made a commitment to someone and you are no longer free to date as you please. You are in what I call the pre-marriage phase of a committed relationship.
As long as he is engaged to someone he is not available to anyone to date even if you wanted to date him which I don't feel you do. He is in a way stalking and sexually harassing you at the office (im starting to feel uneasy now) You could if you want go to the HR department and report this. Once you do they should have procedures to prevent him from continuing.
You could also just go up to him and say to him, "I'm told you are engaged and I do not appreciate the looks you give me when I'm with other men or the flirting." "I'm sure your fiancé would not appreciate hearing your flirting with me either." "I know in her place I would not appreciate finding this out." "So stay away and stop stalking or staring at me or she may just find out the hard way."
Don't tell how you found out he's engaged. By saying you heard it insinuates someone told you that is all you need to say. If he tells you to stay away from his fiancé. Just say there are other ways she could find out without my telling her directly, I would never tell someone something like this directly but you might have to if you don't stop.
Of course put what I've written in your own words. If he is smart he will understand that his job is in jeopardy if you have to carry out your threat and go to HR. You should not have to spell it out for him or make the threat directly to him.
So I asked a previous question about being nervous about a presentation for a specific class.
It's not just this class that makes me nervous. Anytime I have to present anything, even if its just to a small group, I get anxious. I had one class that was all people I knew well and got along with, and even there I got anxious when I had to present. When teachers ask me to give answers in class, I can feel my face go hot and my voice diminish to almost nothing. If the teacher asks me to speak louder, my voice kind of cracks and doesn't want to adjust in volume.
Is there anything I can do about this? My mom doesn't really seem to think its a big deal, and its not something I can really bring up with my dad, just due to the nature of our relationship. I have talked to a couple of my best friends about it, and they sympathize but have no advice for me. I am too shy/scared/almost ashamed? to talk to any of my teachers about this, because they all know me as a smart girl who almost always has the answers. I feel like to approach any of them with this issue would be letting them down. I don't know what to do...Is there any way to become less shy?
Anxiety is real just ask anyone with claustrophobia which is one of the most common anxieties. They will tell you they know the walls are not closing in on them but they are.
Having an anxiety or phobia is nothing to be ashamed about. Letting that phobia or anxiety control you is wrong, especially when there are so many ways to overcome them.
IF my previous advice was not helpful then you might need professional help to overcome this phobia which by the way is very, very common. It should be overcome now so that when you finish college and go out into the business world it does not hold you back.
I understand your mom does not think it this is a big deal and neither did my mom which is why I had to work so hard to overcome it in the business world. I do not want you to have to do as I have had to do for there is no reason for it.
If mom won't listen to you and you cannot talk to dad then you need to talk with a trusted teacher. The fact that your a good student and have what is called a social anxiety disorder will not be letting them down. A good teacher, one you trust is there to help you succeed. Having anxiety attacks will not allow you to succeed and they will want to help you.
If you don't want to talk to a teacher talk to your guidance counselor or school principal. Another choice would be to talk to your family doctor. Any of these professionals are people mom would I'm sure listen to and take seriously and follow their advice as to how to help you overcome this problem.
Do not do as I did and hide this problem. Talk to someone (an adult) you trust and ask for help. Doing so will make you better and you will be better for doing so.
In your opinion whats the youngest age you should be having sex
This is a very good question. Unfortunately it does not have a simple answer for it is not something that is linked to a chronological age. Sex has more to do with maturity than age though maturity does come with age. A bit confusing I will say and it is also different for everyone. It is also different for boy then it is for girls.
As a parent and grandparent I'm suppose to tell you that sex is suppose to wait until you are married. TO do so would be hypocritical of me and most parents and grandparents my age and younger.
What I will tell you is sex is not a sporting event. It is a very intimate thing especially for the female. It is her body that gets invaded or penetrated and it is she that gets pregnant.
Based on everything I have learned in all my years of gaining wisdom on this subject I will offer this advice. You are too young at ages 16 and under, this I know for certain. At ages 16 to 18 if you understand the consequences of sexual intercourse, take the appropriate precautions and are not shamed or shame your partner into consenting; then let your conscience be your guide. Once you 18 you are legally an adult and entitled to a sex life.
I'm more liberal on my views of sex and teenagers than most parents. This is what I told my son and my nieces when it was time to tell them about sex. Take it for what it is worth. Just remember there are alternatives to sex such as masturbation to dampen raging hormones. Contrary to what you may be told masturbation is not wrong and it is even a healthy way to relieve sexual tension.
Hey, I am born female but identify as genderfluid. But I'm sick of it, I'm sick of the constant fluctuation of my gender and I'm sick of always having to state my pronouns and explain what it means. I don't want to be genderfluid, I want to be a boy or a girl, I don't want to be a mixture of both! But I can't be transgender as I don't fully feel like a boy but I'm not cisgender as I defiantly don't always feel like a girl, it's so frustrating and I don't know what to do! If anyone has any advice to help me out that would be really appreciated, but I don't want any transphobic replies or rude or insulting things said, thank you.
As A moderator I have access to the age you register as which is shown as 14. At this age puberty is well in play and gender identity can be fluid or confusing. Right now we are also placing a lot of emphasis on the transgender identity which for someone like yourself adds to the confusion.
Biologically your a girl and since you do not wish to transgender to a boy a girl is what you are biologically and how you would most identify to the rest of the world. Now gender identity and sexual preference or sexual identity are different and are not truly linked to each other. You may be Gay or Bisexual or possibly Heterosexual having sex only with your opposite biological sex. Right now it is really too early to make that determination.
From my point of view, which is what you are asking for, gender identity is something we are focusing to much on at the moment. I believe you will become more comfortable in a couple of years with your gender identity when you are older and have the maturity to figure out your sexual identity.
As you experiment with your sexual identity you will become more comfortable with or identify with a gender identity. While sexual identity is not linked to gender identity it may help you become more comfortable with one. Frankly I think because of the attention being given to gender identification right now young people are more concerned than need be. We all may have questioned this back before gender identity was a public issue but it was not spoken about openly. Eventually as I have said it became less of an issue for most of us as our sexual identity became clearer.
If this remains a problem the talking with a Psychologist may help you. My advice for the moment is to relax be yourself and let life lead you where you are suppose to be.
Help please I dont know what to do. I'm being blackmailed. I am a 19yr old male and she said she was 20yrs. I sent a nude picture of myself with my face in it to a girl on Kik and she said if I don't pay her money she would post it on Ellen show website and try to have her show it on CNN or something like. And ruin my life. She wants me to pay her $100 and if I do she said she would delete the picture. Im scared that she will post it and ruin my life. I can't tell my family because they would be upset at me and cause more issues. Please someone help me I don't know what to do.
Blackmail is illegal and she can go to prison if caught. She can be caught because you have to get the money to her somehow and that is how she will be caught. You will either meet her in person, mail her the money or send it to a PayPal account. There is no other way I know of to get her the money other than possibly through a third part.
In any case whichever way she chooses to have you send money in some form and manner and she will be caught. So my advise is to call the police and file charges. The police will then explain how they wish you to handle this so they can make an arrest.
Hopefully she said this to you in an email. If not the police will advise you on what way and how to respond to her so that they can have an airtight case against her.
So I have to do a presentation in my Grade 12 Chemistry course, and the teacher says a significant part of our mark will be based on preparedness and engaging-ness of presentation. Basically, what he meant is that I have to be really excited and happy up there, and be able to answer pretty much any question people ask me.
The problem is, I am super shy. When I get up there my voice goes really quiet, and no matter how prepared I am, I stutter and can't seem to remember what I was all going to say. This is going to make me look like I'm not prepared, no matter how hard I try.
Also, I am presenting with people who have naturally loud voices and exciting personalities, which will contrast me and make me seem even less prepared.
Any advice on how to deal with this?
Oh boy do I know how you feel. Knowing that would you find it strange I have spent most of my adult life doing just what scares us the most. Before I retired I worked in Sale and Sales & Marketing. On any given day I could be putting on presentations from one to five times a day. Sometimes these presentations would be one on one and others to small or large groups.
The one on one presentations of course are easy. The group presentations are harder. How I overcame the problem in a group was to find that one pair of eyes that friendly and welcoming. It never failed that there would be that one pair of eyes in this room full of strangers that I could find. When I did I spoke to that person or in reality I nearly focused on that set of eyes.
You will be talking to a group of classmates. I'm positive you can find one friendly set of eyes you can focus on to talk to while giving your presentation. Focus on that friend and ignore the others in the room while making your presentation.
Once you find that set of eyes assume you are talking to him or her across a room or your talking to your grandfather who may be hard of hearing. This will help you speak louder.
Trust me when I say it works for it has worked for me. What you have is called stage fright and may well known performers have it as well. They use the same methods to get past the stage fright.
My brother in-law is a big fan of a young singer by the name of Jackie Evancho. She is I believe about 15 years old. He goes to many of her concerts flying across the country to attend. He has met her and spoken with her on numerous occasions. When she is singing he is sitting right down front where she can see him and he swears she can see him. He swears she is singing to him. What she is doing is using the trick I just explain to control her stage fright be looking him while performing.
The alternative is to talk to your teacher and tell him how scared you are to stand up in front of the class. Maybe have mom or dad call if you want.
Stage fright is real and it can be paralyzing. If you have that much anxiety then your teacher needs to be told.
This is my first time having sex with anyone and I am a 26 female and I started the birth control patch about 2 weeks ago and I wanted to know how long it takes get into your sysytem ?
None of us are doctors and I'm fairly certain none of us pharmacists either. As such it would be wrong of us to try and answer this question.
I would suggest you do one of the following.
1. Talk with the pharmacist who dispensed the medication to you. There is information available to them that may allow them to answer the question.
2. The package the patches come in have the maker's name and the trade name for the medication. You could go on the web with this information by typing in either the trade name of the patch or going to the manufacturer's website to find that information.
My sister has had a tough time recently. She got sacked but not through fault of her own. She doesn't have friends to go out with so she suggested we see the fireworks tomorrow night (every year Nov 5th here in England ) because she finishes her job then.
However my boyfriend whom I've not seen in weeks is coming to see me and we're planning to see the fireworks.
Neither knows the other wants to come. They get on to a point but I'd rather it be me and my boyfriend on a romantic date. However I really don't want to upset my sister as she has no one else because she doesn't make as much effort with ppl. We're twins incidentally.
What should I do? What I want or support my sis ?
Your twins so there could be a solution you have not looked at. that might allow for the best of both worlds for you.
You of course invite your sister along because I'm sure losing her job is going to cause her to be at a low point, especially on her last day. Since your boyfriend does know her and his friends may know you the fact that you are twins might make it easier for him to fix up a blind date for her.
Explain to your boyfriend her problem and ask him to try and a buddy to be her date for the evening.
I have been really hesitant to post this because of fear of being told I am manipulating someone's "kindness" into something sinister or that I am reading too far into this, but ultimately this situation has escalated recently and I am feeling uncomfortable with it all.
To give some background, I just recently turned fifteen years old. I am a female in the 9th grade. I go to a Christian co-op (school alternative for homeschoolers, feel free to Google it) and take classes once a week. Now, I really enjoy it and have made a lot of friends there. The school is held at a church I have attended for over a decade. I used to look forward to school and it's in a safe place I have always associated with happiness and calmness, but not anymore. That's when this guy comes into play.
Let's call him "Max". Max is a senior at my school and is in one of my classes. Max is very popular in school. Max has always made me feel uncomfortable because of the way he looks at me and generally acts towards me in comparison to other people. Obviously looking at me isn't the only thing he does, but he stares at me relentlessly in class, never breaks eye contact, and smirks at me frequently. Until recently that is all he has done. About a month ago, right after my 15th birthday, he acting strangely. Let me elaborate ...
•Max has a very strange way of addressing ages, years and birthdays now. The first time he saw me after my birthday, he asked me, "When did you turn?" I was confused by this question and what it meant as he repeated it over and over until I realized he meant what age I had become. When another student (who is a junior male if it matters) mentioned they had a birthday soon as well, he only said, "How many?" If personally asked how old he is, he does not say an exact age but only says he "turned three months ago". After he turned fifteen he asked how long after I "turned" did I get my permit, and if I had fun "turning". I have never outright confronted him about it and have no idea what the purpose of this is. He apparently does not value time or acknowledging different ages or maturities.
•If I say bye or hello to someone else anywhere near him, I must also say it to him or he gets visually and verbally angry. Sometimes I have to say goodbye or hello to him ten times or he will act like I've done something horrible to him in front of all my friends.
•He offers me rides home and no matter how many times I reject him, he does not stop. He knows that I walk home despite the fact that I have never told him this. He leaves school one class period before I do, so he should not in any circumstance know how I get home.
•I have a twin sister who attends all my classes with me and Max does not acknowledge her presence or speak to her. We are identical if it matters.
•He got my phone number through a group project and now frequently texts me at all hours of the day or night. He tells me I am "beautiful" and the way I wear my hair down is "pretty", and that he hates girls who wear their hair up. He texts me late at night, anywhere from 11pm to 1am asking if I am awake. He also randomly texts me "Mmmmmmm" for no reason.
•He follows me to my lunch table, free periods and gets directly behind me when I am in line for lunch. Then he makes conversation with me, which always starts about something innocent such as cars and escalates. For example, he was telling me about his car and proceeded to say "The backseat is always clean". This is one of many sexually suggestive phrases he says.
•He sexualizes everything I do. When I get my lunch or bend down to grab something or touch my hair or smile, it's ALL apparently some sort of sexual action according to him.
That is just a generalized summary of his behavior before this past weekend.
Now, this past Halloween weekend, a huge Halloween party was held at a senior student's house and one of my friends was invited. She brought my twin sister and I along as guests. My friend arrived at the party half an hour earlier then me and called me to say Max was asking everyone where I was and Max also said he was going to be waiting outside at the door until I got there. When I arrived he was not there and was not seen until around an hour after, when he walked up behind me and told me I had "missed his amazing Halloween costume". He was dressed in normal clothes and showed me a picture of his costume on his phone. Then, in front of my friends, he called me "special" and proceed to
grab my hand and force me to touch him.
His shirt had graphics on the lower half of it and he was forcing me to trace them and trying to flatten my palm against his abdomen. I tugged my hands and became visually upset until a college student at the party walked over and told him to stop, at which point M invited me to his car. I was very angry at this point and the college student said that it wasn't happening. Max then said "he loved me" and left.
Now at this point he continues to text me. I am afraid to see him again. He is very popular in this school and has gone there for many years, and many of the teachers are like his family. This is my first year at the school and I barely know anyone. I am not sure who to tell in the school system. I want to continue going there but am afraid I will simply be told I am being ridiculous and exaggerating if I tell any teacher. The last thing I want to do is stop going to the school because of this. What should I do?
tl;dr A senior at my school texts me strange things late at night, forces me to touch him and says he loves me? What should I do?
The fax that Max is popular is why he has been getting away with what he is doing. I'm sure your not the first girl and you won't be the last girl he does this with. You or the next girl could also be the one he physically hurts if you do not put a stop to it.
The fact that you do not appreciate his advances makes them sexual harassment and it is illegal. Do not let his popularity stop you from doing what is needed to keep you safe. There are several things you can do to stop this. The one I would like you to do is the first one.
1. Tell your parents what is happening. Tell them everything just as you have written us and anything you may have left out. You have done nothing wrong here please remember that. You are being victimized and he and others like him pray on the fact that you feel you may have one something wrong or could get in trouble if you report him. You cannot get in trouble for being the victim.
Your parents then have choices they can make. They can address the issues with the school or they can help you make a police report.
2. You can and should discuss this with a trusted teacher and or the school principal. You have classes at a church. You could go to the pastor or priest and talk to him or her about what is happening.
3. You are old enough that you can go to the police on you own and make a report. While he is harassing you at school you can from your cell phone call 911 and ask for a police response to come and protect you. An officer will respond and an investigation will begin. Most likely Max will be suspended pending the outcome of the investigation.
Remember you are a victim her. I urge you to talk with your parents tonight so that you can go to school next week without fear.
I have a date Thursday with a guyi have been dating for 2 years he wants to have sex but I don't know how to yell him I can't because I am on my period
Every guy who has ever dated has had to face this problem. While I'm assuming this may be the first time you two may be having sex he is not unaware of a woman's biological function.
Simply tell him it is the wrong time of the month for you. I will tell also add this and you must decide for yourself if you want to. There are some men who like to have sex with a women when she is having her period. There is no reason not to other than it could be messy. Of course if you are suffering any discomfort from your period then of course you would not want to. Otherwise put some towels under you and enjoy yourselves. Of course if this is the first time the two of you are having sex it may not be the best time for you two to do so.
My girlfriend and I recently broke up last month. Note, this was neither of our fault. Something happened with her depression, and she didn't feel the same about us anymore. So I didn't give up, after the breakup I consisted attempts of getting us back together, which ultimately lead to the exclusion of her life completely. This caused me to have minor depression, and major thoughts of suicide considering I cannot get back with the my one love, the girl who saved my life once before. I'm afraid without her I'm most certainly going to lose control as I have already lost who I once was. Please, this is my only chance. I need help to find a way to get her back. And please don't refer me to any kinds of medical help because I'm not ready to open up to that kind of treatment. I just need my one true love back, without her I can't go on.
Two people in the throes of depression is a recipe for disaster as you are finding out. The real problem is the depression as it colors how both of you perceive things. One of you has to clear or cure your depression so that one of you is seeing things more clearly and can help the other to see things more clearly.
You say your not ready for any type of treatment, yet getting your own depressive issues under control is the quickest way you can try to get your girlfriend back. It is also very possible that if you are in therapy she will join you if she thinks she is helping you with your depression. By helping you she may just be helping herself.
My suggestion is you contact a good psychologist for talk therapy. You also may want to contact a Board Certified Psychiatrist for medication help. Suicidal thoughts are not good and if you are having them you should call 911.
A Board Certified Psychiatrist is the better doctor to treat the most common form of depression called Clinical Depression which is really more of a medical condition then mental one. Clinical depression is caused by a lack of certain hormones secreted into the brain. Because they are secreted into the brain the psychiatrist who has done a Fellowship in psychiatry to become Board Certified is the better doctor to treat depression.
What I'm saying in short is heal yourself first; then help her heal. You cannot be successful at what you want to do if both of you are suffering from the same ailment. talk with your psychologist as to at some point asking your girlfriend to join in your therapy sessions. If she agrees your halfway home.
I just don't want anybody to move here... now if you are coming from a 3rd world country and come to America for better opportunities then I TOTALLY accept that, but I'm talking about all the freaky freakaloo's from Europe or British land or whatever who come here because they want to "be cool" and "become American". No!! you can't "become" America. You either are or you aren't.
Just don't move here! Why do I feel like this? Just hate Europe and everything not American..
tigershark is somewhat correct in what was said about the American Indian and the British Colonials. If you have the time, and since history is no longer taught in most schools, read up on the history of America it is fascinating.
tigershark is wrong we did not kill of all of d the American Indian but we did a fairly good job of thinning the out. The American Indian is the only true American or Native American. The rest of us are descendants of Immigrants from many nationalities.
The people that hate us do not hate you and me specifically. They hate America and what it stands for. We have everything they don't have. We are also a superpower and have a tendency to throw our weight around. This is what other countries and people hate.
Don't be a hater too. Accept people at face value and learn for yourself who and what they are. It is much easier to make a friend that way then an enemy.
what does it mean
It means just what it says. In school there are required subjects for any degree and then there are subjects that you might take that are of interest or associated with the course you are studying for. An example would be if you were an English major. There might be a an interest in the Old English that you have and you take courses in that as well. This would be and area of special study and interest.
It is also possible to do research work in that same area and possibly publish a paper. Students who are studying science and medicine are constantly in the labs doing research for and with their professors. They are the ones that are finding new medicines and new cures.
Hi, we're good friends and known each other quite a while. He is single, I am not and he knows that. We do joke quite a lot. He texts me and says, don't tell your boyfriend that we fell in love, it is too soon. I was surprised because he jokes with me and others a lot. I don't know what's going through in his head? Only guys view, please. Cheers
Not knowing him at all I cannot truly know exactly what his meaning is. What I can tell you is this.
I'm married and we have friends that are married and single both male and female. I tease and make sexual remarks to both the married and single female friends alike. I'm harmless I would never cheat on my wife. They know this as does my wife; it is all just good natured fun.
Is it possible this person is like me and is just teasing you. The other alternative is that he is in love with you and maybe there is a misinterpretation or not of something you said or did that has caused him to send such a message to see your response.
I'm going to assume this is an unwanted text since you are questioning his motive. I would suggest you text him back with. "Hey I don't mind you teasing me like this when my husband is near but a text like this can be misinterpreted please do not send anything like this in the future."
Sending him a reply like this does two things; first, if it is an advance on his part you have rejected him in a nice way by accepting his advance as part of his normal teasing. Second, you have told him that this type of teasing is unacceptable and not to continue. This also sends a message that you are not interested in his advances.