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Don't know what to do about gender.
Hey, I am born female but identify as genderfluid. But I'm sick of it, I'm sick of the constant fluctuation of my gender and I'm sick of always having to state my pronouns and explain what it means. I don't want to be genderfluid, I want to be a boy or a girl, I don't want to be a mixture of both! But I can't be transgender as I don't fully feel like a boy but I'm not cisgender as I defiantly don't always feel like a girl, it's so frustrating and I don't know what to do! If anyone has any advice to help me out that would be really appreciated, but I don't want any transphobic replies or rude or insulting things said, thank you.
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I don't know if this will help you but I will share about me to see if this sounds like something that works for you.
Before i do, I come from a Christian background as the other advicegiver but have moved on to travel territory the church labels as wrong, evil or sin and used to believe without thinking for myself. Its thats attitude that kept me 30 yrs with an abusive husband 'waiting for God to heal my marriage' as the church taught but one Day God told me, that He gave everyone a free will and so he wont take control of and force my husband to treat me well cus that takes away his choice. I was told I had a choice to leave or stay. Now that I was thinking for myself with Gods explanation to not feel guilt, of course, I left the ex. What I'm saying is that church doctrine and what is interpreted from the Bible just doesnt always work as the church intends and in many cases does make sense as its not a spiritual issue but a physical or world issue beyond our control. I still believe that our world has become so toxic that many are born with physcial or mental differences that they did not choose and that to me includes how you were born feeling. So dont ever feel its your fault.
As to what to do about it? In my new path, I came to accept that there is reincarnation and have read books of those who under hynosis remember past lives and from many sources I've read that souls can tend to have a preferance for one sex but will take turns living lives as both. I know that although being female that I have lived as a male before. I catch myself standing like a man at one point but later I am moving and posing like a woman. As far as sex goes, it wasn't untilk with my 2nd husband, a very openminded, sexual guy who is comfortable in his own skin that we both experienced something that we both had never experienced before. I had to say something because at the time, I thought I imagined it. In energy form, it felt like I had a penis and was entering my husband. Once I mentioned it afterwards, he told me he had felt it too and like on a spiritual or energy level he'd felt a penis and that he was receiving and liked the feel of it. I don't know if that is possible for others, just whats happened with us. We are both secure in our selves and our sexuality, so for the most part, we enjoy and embrace the sex we were born with. But at times when our soul is remembering what its like to be the opposite sex and has a yearning for a taste of that, we allow ourselves to enjoy whatever traits might be opposite for our gender. That keeps a healthy balance as far as yin-yang energy. It would take an exceptional man/male who is okay with switching and able to feel the subtle differences in energies. Past lives are always going to be with us and influence us in some ways. Fighting it makes one very unhappy and unsettled in life. Accepting that you may have lived as a male before and being able to enjoy those times in private when you let your inner male out, is nothing wrong at all, very freeing instead. I used to have dreams where I was the male having sex or being a muscled warrier killing invaders to my village by bare hands to protect loved ones. The killing part bugged me and it wasnt until I came to embrace the fact I had lived as a male in a past life that I was freed of the dreams/nightmares. This may not help but I felt it worth to mention as you would live and dress in female or mannish clothes and go by female pronouns, embrace that you have a female body and are able to bring life into the world but have a partner who is okay with allowing you the time at home to embrace anything of the male side. Once you are okay with it, I feel one gender will subside, no longer battling with your feminine side to be in the forefront and be okay with getting the treat to come out on occasions where you decided when you when to feel your maleish side come out.
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Hey there. I'm a total Christian and I stick to my beliefs. You should decide to be a girl since you were born a girl. I do not understand your frustration with this subject but I do understand the whole world of frustration, meaning, I can only imagine how you feel. All I can really say is stick with being a girl because that's how you were born and God doesn't make mistakes. Everything happens for a reason, I promise. Thanks for your time.
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As A moderator I have access to the age you register as which is shown as 14. At this age puberty is well in play and gender identity can be fluid or confusing. Right now we are also placing a lot of emphasis on the transgender identity which for someone like yourself adds to the confusion.
Biologically your a girl and since you do not wish to transgender to a boy a girl is what you are biologically and how you would most identify to the rest of the world. Now gender identity and sexual preference or sexual identity are different and are not truly linked to each other. You may be Gay or Bisexual or possibly Heterosexual having sex only with your opposite biological sex. Right now it is really too early to make that determination.
From my point of view, which is what you are asking for, gender identity is something we are focusing to much on at the moment. I believe you will become more comfortable in a couple of years with your gender identity when you are older and have the maturity to figure out your sexual identity.
As you experiment with your sexual identity you will become more comfortable with or identify with a gender identity. While sexual identity is not linked to gender identity it may help you become more comfortable with one. Frankly I think because of the attention being given to gender identification right now young people are more concerned than need be. We all may have questioned this back before gender identity was a public issue but it was not spoken about openly. Eventually as I have said it became less of an issue for most of us as our sexual identity became clearer.
If this remains a problem the talking with a Psychologist may help you. My advice for the moment is to relax be yourself and let life lead you where you are suppose to be.
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