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Never going to give you up
My girlfriend and I recently broke up last month. Note, this was neither of our fault. Something happened with her depression, and she didn't feel the same about us anymore. So I didn't give up, after the breakup I consisted attempts of getting us back together, which ultimately lead to the exclusion of her life completely. This caused me to have minor depression, and major thoughts of suicide considering I cannot get back with the my one love, the girl who saved my life once before. I'm afraid without her I'm most certainly going to lose control as I have already lost who I once was. Please, this is my only chance. I need help to find a way to get her back. And please don't refer me to any kinds of medical help because I'm not ready to open up to that kind of treatment. I just need my one true love back, without her I can't go on.
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Hey, I understand how serious this topic is. I've suffered from depression for two years and i've always been suicidal. I would like for you to take a minute and breathe. I understand that she was your everything but you will get over it. I broke up with my ex because he cheated on me and that was seven months ago. I've been single ever since. Trust me, you will get over her. I'm just now getting over him but i'm not fully healed. The only way I did it is to find someone else. I know i'm only 14 but I am currently engaged. Just don't give up on love but you have to give up on her. The more you dwell on her, the more pain you will go through. Gosh I know exactly what you're going through and it still hurts me to think of him. I don't know how to make it better but I'm trying. Ya know? Thank you for your time.
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I am so sorry you are going through this!
You are an amazing person for not giving up on your girlfriend however if she has moved on unfortunately you have to move on too.
Lots of times when we are in a relationship we get so consumed by the other person that we forget who we are with out that person.
I believe this is what you are going through .
We all need people but you have to love yourself and realize how important YOU are!
When breakups happen its a great time to find out who you are again and start doing things that you love to do!
This is important before you jump into another relationship.. Even if you are meant to be with your ex girlfriend again.
Here are some things to think about...
Do you want to be with someone that doesnt want to be with you?
If she took you back today...just because its something that YOU wanted.. How long do you think your happiness will last?
You love this girl so much because at one point in time she made you happy. You are not going to be happy for long because she is NOT going to make you happy because she is not going to be good to you.
Its normal to be depressed after a break up so dont expect this to go away immediately.
Just please take some time to work on feeling better.
You will find yourself again and once you are renewed you will attract an amazing partner.
Feel better and get some air! take a walk and enjoy your day! There are so many other things in life that you can focus on. Dont focus too much on the pain you are feeling.
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Stop it. It's unfair and cruel to try and force yourself on someone just because you are ill. You can't win her back by making your happiness her job. She deserves a partner who loves and respects her, not one who demands she make his life one worth living. That isn't her job. Your happiness and health isn't her job. That is your job.
You are mentally ill and you seem to know it. You need support and care that she cannot give you. Putting that burden on her is unkind, and also unproductive. She can't fix this for you. You have to fix this.
"Never giving up" doesn't prove your love. It's proves you don't care about what she feels or wants.
I'm sorry you aren't open to treatment yet - I truly am - because treatment is what will help you. Your demands on your ex girlfriend are irrational and unkind. They are symptom of your mental illness, not a cure. Until you are ready to accept real help, you are not ready to be in anything like a real relationship.
Your life is worth living. You are worthy of real help and assistance for your mental health, but you can't force someone to date you and it's wrong to try. Go get the help you need and deserve for people capable from giving it to you. As for your ex, it's time to love and respect her enough to accept her decision about what relationship she wants or doesn't want to be in.
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Two people in the throes of depression is a recipe for disaster as you are finding out. The real problem is the depression as it colors how both of you perceive things. One of you has to clear or cure your depression so that one of you is seeing things more clearly and can help the other to see things more clearly.
You say your not ready for any type of treatment, yet getting your own depressive issues under control is the quickest way you can try to get your girlfriend back. It is also very possible that if you are in therapy she will join you if she thinks she is helping you with your depression. By helping you she may just be helping herself.
My suggestion is you contact a good psychologist for talk therapy. You also may want to contact a Board Certified Psychiatrist for medication help. Suicidal thoughts are not good and if you are having them you should call 911.
A Board Certified Psychiatrist is the better doctor to treat the most common form of depression called Clinical Depression which is really more of a medical condition then mental one. Clinical depression is caused by a lack of certain hormones secreted into the brain. Because they are secreted into the brain the psychiatrist who has done a Fellowship in psychiatry to become Board Certified is the better doctor to treat depression.
What I'm saying in short is heal yourself first; then help her heal. You cannot be successful at what you want to do if both of you are suffering from the same ailment. talk with your psychologist as to at some point asking your girlfriend to join in your therapy sessions. If she agrees your halfway home.
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This is pretty difficult on your side, but you have to do this if you really want her back.
You have to pull her out of depression, you have to do your best effort to show her that you care. The only twist though, is you can't talk to her. Or at least, approach her and simply talk to her. If what you're saying is accurate, then she is barely human now, no offense intended, but yeah, people in the depression stage tend to think differently, they think they're alone and abandoned. So here's my advice, approach her, go to her room or whatever and tell her that you're there for her as her friend, assure her everyday or every hour (however bad her depression is) and that'll at least deflate her condition a bit.
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