about

Hi I'm Dee. I'm 23 and married. I've worked in health care as well as office settings but am now a home-maker. I'm knowledgeable in a variety of subjects but don't mind doing a little research if asked about something I don't know about. Most of my friends come to me for advice. I read several advice columns and would like to help you also.

I'm not judgemental. Your life is yours to live it as you choose. I believe asking for advice is good, but ultimately the choice is yours. You WILL NOT find a hurtful or smartass answer here.

If you have a question that you would like to keep private, you can email me and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

advice

how can i make my butt smaller?

how can i make the top of my thighs small?

On mat or carpeted area, lie on your back.
Lift your right knee up to your chest.
Grasp your knee, wrapping both arms around it.
Hold for about 30 seconds with your head, shoulder and left leg all in relaxed positions.
Repeat with other leg.

Stand in front of a chair with your feet hip-wide apart and s-l-o-w-l-y squat until you 'just touch' the seat, then squeeze your buns together as you rise. This exercise works to tone the buns by working each bun towards your crack.

Put one leg behind you, then bend the knee of the opposite leg so that you can lunge forward. Be careful not to pull anything out of gear. As you lunge, touch to feel the pull.

Running, walking, stair-climbing, and leg lifts are other options.

Eating a healthy diet as well as drinking more water will also help.

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Hi. im not writing this question for people to tell me im unique and crap, but lately, ive just been feeling bad. I think im ugly. People always tell me that im ugly. its just my face..i mean my nose is just so weird that i feel so self conscious and whenever im with my friends it hurts me so much always seeing guys all flirting with them and stuff. ive never been asked out, and people always tell me that im ugly. i know its mean, and only sometimes i feel pretty. i know that if i feel beautiful, i am beautiful, and being confident is bueatiful, but i dont want that crap. i need some way to make me feel better about myself....any suggestions?

Pick one of your features that you think is attractive and play it up. A pretty smile, nice hair, shapely body, etc.

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My boyfriend and I are having a debate about whether or not sperm is still active when it hits the air. Sometimes after we have sex (we use a condum) sperm will be on me or him and he worries that it will travel into my vagina and make me pregnant. I've always heard that once sperm hits the air it's dead. Who's right?

He's right. Sperm generally remains active and able to impregnate you for around 48 hours. The best thing to do to prevent pregnancy is either for you to use some other form of birth control(birth control pill, the patch, etc) while he still uses a condom. Using a condom with spermicide (look at the label for nonoxynol-9) will also help. Making sure to clean up as soon as you finish having sex will help too.

Go to your local health department or planned parenthood office for more information on how to protect yourself.

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I would like to find my biological mother.

She left my little sister and I when we were very little. We saw her a few times while growing up, but most of the experiences ended in not such good ways. A lot of it is tied to the problem of her not being able to just tell us shes sorry for leaving.

We exchanged words about four years ago over that issue, and have not spoken since.

I want to find her because my grandmother - her mother is going to pass away and has been asking about her. None of her kids are here for her - and I doubt she even knows whats going on.

So I am asking for advice on how to go about doing this. I tried paying money for the more popular finding people sites, and mostly to no avail.

Your grandmother will most likely have your mother's social security number. You can use this to trace her location even if she's changed her last name. You could look at the addresses in order to see if she moves in a specific direction that will allow you to close the area of your search. Try your local phone book for a private detective. They usually have acess to more resources than the average person.

Hope this helps. Good luck in your search for your mother.

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So, I went in for a second interview & the manager really liked me so I got hired for a job but no more than 30 seconds later I was fired due to the only time I could arrive for work is 45 minutes after my shift starts due to the time my school lets out & drive time to get there. I can't work on Thursdays & Fridays because of Cheerleading related things. He guarenteed me a job in January when football season is over. He told me to call him if anything changed. I was thinking of calling him because I figured I could make it about 30 minutes late instead of 45 also, I could work on weekends if I couldn't get weekday hours. Should I call?

You could call. The manager may still give you the job since you can work weekends, and a lot of people refuse to work weekends. The best thing you can do is make sure on any other interviews to let the interviewer know up front that you can only work between certain hours.

Good luck with your job search.

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I get choked up asking this, but I need answers. My mom and dad have been married for 2 years. But last night, I was over at my dad's best friend, Bobby's house. Then the doorbell rang so Bobby went to get it. It turned out to my dad barefoot and cying SO hard. My mom wasn't with him, so i was scared that something had happened to her. He kept yelling "That unfaithful bitch, that unfaithful bitch!"
Then my dad and Bobby went into a back room so I couldn't hear them talking. I'm really scared. My dad isn't talking to me, and he stays all cooped up in the house and doesn't go to work and he makes me cook all the meals. He hasn't stopped crying yet and I'm SO scared!He hasn't told me the problem adn i really want to know! What happened last night? Why is my dad so sad? Where's my mom? When will my dad get over this? PLEASE HELP! I'll rate 5's for great answers.

It appears that your mom cheated on him or he thinks she did. From the sounds of it, they've split up. Your dad is so sad because it seems like your mom has hurt him deeply.

Talk to your dad and tell him how you feel and ask if there's anything you can do to help. If he won't talk to you, write him a note and put it where he's sure to find it. If he continues to not go to work or take care of you, talk to his friend Bobby or another trusted adult.

It takes time to get over a loved one's betrayal. Give your dad time and be there for him if he wants to talk.

Right now you're feeling hurt too since it appears you have, at least for the moment, lost both parents. Do not hold these feelings inside. Talk to a friend, a trusted adult, or even Bobby. Talking about it will help you get through it.

Good luck and my prayers are with you.

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alright so iv been dating this guy for almost 9 months now and me and him broke up about 15 times and the last time we broke up was bc he lied to me about stuff he did with a girl (back at the pond he kissed her and she touched his dick n all this) and he lied about it he swore on my life that nothing happened and he swore on our relationship. . . and i believed him of course then yesterday his cousin told me the truth . . . and i asked him about and he addmitted it i was like OMG! then we broke up and he said whateverrr!! really mean and i hung up and he didnt even call me back and i didnt believe his cousin i was like no he loves me too much he wouldnt lie. . . but he did lie! and he cried a lot and begged for me back for like 24 hours or so and i reallyyyyy love him with all my heart but during the almost 9 months like in the beginging he was soo nice then he just started lien to me a lot. . . and i found out and asked him about everything and he told me he wasnt hiding anything else and i believed him and that was after we dated for 5 months or so and he was really good after that then he flirted with a girl right in front of me which that hurt so bad!! then he called me a bitch and hit me 4 times but i really love him and this time i took him back bc i love him soo much. . . did i make a bad mistake??

If he's hitting you and calling you names, you need to run as far from him as you can get. You do not want to be with a guy who mistreats you and hits you.

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okay, I have tried thousands of deodarants including Exta-dry and none work for me! I want to be able to wear nice shirts and all that stuff but the only thing that stops me are my underarms what advice do you have for me? What deodarant do you suggest? You should know that a girl having sweaty armpits is not atractive. HELP ME OUT!!!!!!!!

When deodorants are not working, it's time to consult your doctor. Some people have overactive sweat glands which cause them to sweat profusely. They can give you a specially formulated antipersperant or medications that will help with this problem.

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So, my guy and I went ring shopping today and picked out rings.
The problem is gonna be my mom. He gave me an antique ring on valentine's day almost two years ago, and I've been wearing that one, but we picked one that will be sized to fit my left ring finger. Basically, we are engaged, but we're keeping it quiet until about halfway through college, when it'll be more acceptable to my parents.
This ring kind of looks like an engagement ring, but it's not a diamond. That's the only thing, though it is a single stone, which is symbolic enough. My mom is extremely against my getting married young (we're planning to get married in four or five years, so there's no rush at all, but my mom wouldn't understand that). I'm 17 and he's 19. I'll be 18 in October. Anyway, my mom's gonna freak out when she sees the ring on that finger, and essentially a wedding band on his.
What do I say to her?
Please, no smartass remarks. I'll just rate you down for stupidity.
Thanks in advance. =)

Since you are nearly 18, your mom should have no say-so. My husband's parents objected to us getting married so soon but we told them that we were both adults and while we appreciated their concern, it was our decision to make.

Sit down with your mom before she sees the ring and tell her that your guy bought you an engagement ring but you are not planning on getting married until after college. Listen to her calmly, then tell her gently that while you appreciate her concern, this is your choice to make but you will think about what she said.

It seems to me that you're making a very mature decision and your mom should support you, whether she agrees or not.

Good luck with your mom and your engagement.

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I talk to this other boy now hes 14 and we talk mostly on the computer. like the beginning of this month he iMed me and was like come over an said he likes me and he was gonna ask me out but he thought i was still in love with the boy i mentioned last time, so he waited. im not sure if he is for real tho bc hes got that reputation of being a player. so ive been to his house a couple times but whenever i go over there he wants me to give him head, or have sex. he says he loves me, and im his girl. i dont know wether to belive him or not. should i?

It sounds to me like this guy is using you for sex. Dump him fast and find a guy that loves you for yourself, not the fact that you put out on demand. If you like the other guy, go for it but take it slow and do not get in another relationship with a user.

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my friends are always getting the guys. ill plainly say that. i am pretty, or at least everyone thinks i am, and i personally think i have a great personality. i flirt, i try to act interested but the guys always seem to go for my freinds, even if it seems they are flirting with me, or like me. i mean, i have so much more to offer than my freinds. im going to a an art school for painting, i play the guitar, the piano and the drums, i am the life of the party, i paint, i write, i compose. but it seems that my freinds, who personaly i think are...i hate to use the word...posers(even though we arnt goth or anything, they just think they know art when they, exuse my french, dont know shit). but sometimes i wonder, am i just to mature, should i wait to find a guy, or for someone to find me? i just feel that people will give me a second look, but not want to waste their time or energy on a third. im really sorry if this question had no point. and im sorry for wasting you tome reading it. but can anyone help me get out of this shadow?

Since most teenage guys tend to be a little (sometimes a lot) immature, they may feel uncomfortable with you. Also, some guys are intimidated by smart and beautiful women.

Take your time. Engage in a little harmless flirting. Seek out a new circle of friends that share your interests. Don't try so hard to get a guy. When the right one comes along, you'll know it and he'll come to you. Trust me, it's worth the wait.

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ok so im the one who was curious about abortion even though there is only a very slim chance i can be pregnent (the boy could have gotten ejaculation on his hands, im not sure then he fingered me)

well, someone mentioned the morning after pill. i can just walk into plan parenthood and they will just give it to me? can someone tell me how it works?

The morning after pill can be taken up to 5 days after the fact, although it works better if taken within 72 hours. The morning after pill works by preventing you from ovulating, keep the egg or sperm from moving, block fertilization, or change the lining of your uterus so the fertilized egg can't implant. Go to the planned parenthood office and tell them you suspect you may be pregnant and they will run a pregnancy test on you to see if you are.

The chances of you being pregnant are slim but still a possibility. Are you having any symptoms? Nausea, breast tenderness, sensitivity to smell, being more emotional, having to pee a lot, etc are all symptoms of pregnancy.

To prevent a pregnancy scare in the future, have your boyfriend wash his hands before he fingers you. Also when you go to the planned parenthood office, ask them about contraceptives. They can help you decide which one will be best for you as well as often provide you with contraceptives at little or no cost.

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okay one of my best friends and i have dated before and we still care about each other even though we're not together anymore. we still care about each other a lot..but everytime i try to tell him that i still care about him and that no matter what happens to our relationship i'm always gonna be here for him..but everytime i try to tell him that he just pushes me away by saying whatever, sure, or mmmmhmmm...it's driving me crazy cause i'm always trying to make the situation better but he just makes it worse..it kills me to know that i'd do anything for him but he doesn't even care..if i had to i'd go lay infront of a car for him..i just wish he wouldn't push me away so much..PLEASE HELP!! i really love this kid!

I'm sorry to say but it sounds to me like either he's not interested or he thinks you're going overboard. Since you're friends, enjoy the friendship for a while. If he cares about you like you do him, you'll drift back into your relationship. Good luck.

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I have a crush on my best friend (opposite sex) i mean hes not my omg best best friend but hes my best guy friend and i like him. I really want him to know how i feel but im don't wanna lose the relationship i already have with him because the last guy i liked wouldnt talk to me at all so i feel really lucky to likesomeone who will talk to me and all. i know that if i tell him im shy so i will start acting weird around him then he probably will too

A relationship based on a friendship is a wonderful thing. Try saying "this is almost like a date" with a little laugh next time you're out somewhere together. If he's interested too, he'll probably take it to mean that you're interested. If he's not interested, it saves you embarassment since it can also come across as a joke. Good luck with your crush.

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Does anyone no any websites that I can like put a picture of myself on and like change my hair color,style,and eye color just to see what it looks like?

Thanks

Try http://www.matrix.com/tryon_hairstyles/ As best as I can tell it's free and it allows you to upload a picture of yourself.

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Hi, I shave my lower area but somehow it always get irritaed with bumps and everything. Is there any other way not to get these? Please help.

Try soaking in a bath before shaving. It will plump up the skin making it easier for the razor to cut the hairs. Before shaving, trim the hair with some scissors so there's less hair to get out of the way. Get a shave gel that's made ofr sensitive skin. These usually have aloe in them which soothes your skin. Make sure the razor you're using is not dull. A multi-blade razor helps a lot. Schick has a new razor called the quattro that has 4 blads and does a wonderful job. Try to avoid going over the same spot more than twice as it irritates the skin.
Hope this helps.

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So I’m engaged to be married in one year. I was raised Christian and although I don’t go to church or anything any more my I do still believe. My fiancé is an atheist. It’s really important to me (and to my family) to get married in the church but he says that would be ‘compromising his beliefs’ and doesn’t want to. I don’t care if we never step foot in a church again but my uncle is a priest and I can’t tell him that he can’t preside over my wedding! I’ve always known and respected that we don’t feel the same way about religion but I want to spend the rest of my life with this guy but I don’t know what to do about the wedding. Any advice?

You could compromise by having your wedding outside a church but still having your uncle preside over the wedding. I had a similar situation myself where I wanted the church wedding but my fiance didn't. We finally compromised by going to the courthouse for the ceremony but having a reading from the Bible as part of the ceremony.

Good luck.

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I plan on waiting till i get married to have sex. But why is it so hard to find a guy that feels the same? Like on TV, all the guys seem like pigs, and that they only love women to get sex out of them. I want a guy who feels the same why i do, but why r they so hard to find?

Not many people share your feelings on waiting for marriage. That includes women. Stick to your beliefs and don't let a guy convince you to change your mind. When your Mr. Right comes along, he'll share your feelings on sex or at least respect your decision to wait.
Good luck.

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ok so me and my best friend both like a guy and it so happens these guys are best friends but were going into highschool and we dont know if we will end up likeing somebody new..and they want to ask us out but we keep saying we dont know if we want a boyfriend rite now..so should we tell them we want a boyfriend and go out with them or just leave it be and wait for highschool or what?

If you're not ready for a boyfriend right now, then wait for a while. You can still date these guys without getting into a serious relationship. Take it slow and see whether you really like them and take it from there.

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My period was on last week and it just went off this week, now lil' drops of blood are still showing up. Is my period coming on again? And my stomach still hurts like cramps. What is wrong with me??? Help

Some women have break through bleeding between periods. It's completely natural. If the bleeding lasts more than a couple days or the flow gets really heavy, go see your doctor to rule out an underlying condition.

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