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I really appreciate anyone who decides to read this and help me, I don't really have anyone to talk to about this.
I've been in a relationship, on and off with a boy for two years now - I'm just about to turn 18, while he's just about to turn twenty. For most of our being together our relationship has been really unstable, him always unsure if he wanted to be with me. I look back at myself and wonder why I spent so many nights worrying and letting myself become so attached.
We had what was supposed to be our 'final breakup' right around New Year's eve. I was hurt, and we were split for a little over a month, and started talking again. Not too long after, we started actually becoming connected in all of the ways we hadn't been before. To be honest, right now I'd have to say that he's probably my best friend, and we share everything with eachother. This is probably the best our relationship has ever been, and I should be loving every minute of it.
The problem? While we were split, I got to know a friend of his, *Jeffery, really well. This is someone who has betrayed my boyfriend in the past, there are shaky feelings between them although they still see eachother occasionally. I got to know Jefferey better and better and really began to like him, and him me. I stopped talking to him for the most part because I was afraid that it would hurt my boyfriend, although we were not together at the time. After a short time I thought that I made a mistake, but by then me and my (then ex-)boyfriend had started to talk again. My boyfriend and I have been together since.
Lately, me and Jefferey have been seeing a lot of eachother through mutual friends. We still have feelings for eachother, and it has been driving me crazy. While things are going really well in my relationship with my boyfriend, I feel like I will always have this question in the back of my mind, "what if". Recently me and Jeffery were hanging out together, and he tried to kiss me. I didn't let him, and told him we shouldn't hang out anymore unless I break it off with my boyfriend. I feel like this was a horrible mistake, but I feel very insecure about breaking things off with my boyfriend, who has been so great to me during all of this. We have no secrets from eachother, and I did not cheat on him. I think that Jeffery might have 'given up' on trying to be with me, and I feel a little defeated and negative about myself. I feel like I should have been more decisive, but I don't know what to think. I wish I had gotten to know Jeffery more while I was single.
Thanks to anyone who read this long thing, and thanks doubly to anyone who offers advice. My mind is a mess over this.
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ok, here is a question to ask yourself. Are you and the boyfriend really in love or is your relationship more of a habit? Know what I mean, Are you just staying together because it's easy and all that? I just wonder because if you had really strong feelings of love for him I don't think you would be having feelings for Jeffrey. I may be wrong, and you certainly want to be comfortable in your relationship nothing wrong with that at all! Try to figure out what it is thats missing with the boyfriend because I think something is. This probably hasn't been a whole lot of help but maybe gives you something to think about. Good Luck. :)
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ok well me and this guy are friends and are going to a dance, well lately since we decided to go together he doesn't call me and we don't talk as much. I'm really shy and affraid we won't be as close what could I do about this? (link)
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You need to go ask him what is going on. If you usually talk, just go talk to him. Maybe he is being shy too! :)
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Hey ok well me and my boyfriend have been together for not too long since the 19th of April but i have known him all my life and i like him and all but theres a problem he is movin to Georgia and we live in Texas in the begining of summer and i got told by his best friend that he is dumpin me the day before he moves which is alright since i dont do long distant relationships anyhow and i got told to dump him this or next week so he dont get to it first so which should i do i need some help!
Love Kayla (link)
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I don't see any reason why you would have to be the first one to do the dumping. I think you two need to talk to each other and not let all your friends do the talking for you. You probably will have to stop dating when he leaves, I see no reason not to remain friends after that. Since he is a friend and the break up is more of a have to thing and not an I hate you thing, I think you can hang out until the moving van comes. :)
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im 14/f and i have never had a boyfriend or even a kiss. the thing is i want one but, when people like me i say no because i want the one that i like and thats all. the thing is how do i get the person i like to like me back? but they may like some one else.thanks
please dont delete (link)
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You should really try some of those that you haven't given much thought to. You don't have to go out with them more than once if you don't like them. You don't have to kiss them either. Plus if you date some of the other guys the one you like may start to notice you a little more. If you are determined to have only him...then you will just have to go up and start talking to him and hope he returns the feelings. :)
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i really like this guy... and i think he likes me to. the problem is we never c each other at school. he sugests that we talk on the fone, but im too shy to do that. i want something to happen between us, but how do i get over that shyness? (link)
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Seems to me talking on the phone would be a great way to get to know him without being face to face. You should really try talking to him before someone beats you to it. The only way to get over the shyness is to just ignore it and do it anyway. :)
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i like a guy a lot and we are going to brduate really soon. he knows i like him he says he likes me kind of but then he doesnt but he flirts with me a lot. but since were graduating really soon i want to try and like make a move on hime or something like he had said he was going to give me a kiss and im not sure if he is going to. i want to like make the first move but i dont know how. do you have any sugestions on how to do this like either how sould i make the first move or how should i get him to go though with it.
thanks so much (link)
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You just say hey guys name why don't you go with me to see star wars, or a movie of your choice. He will say yes or no. If yes then once the movie is over, or before talk about your feelings and see what he has to say. :)
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OK so i like this guy, Jeff ALOT. We have been friends FOREVER and now he is acting kind of strange... a couple months ago we had a school dance, we danced together and i was SOOOO happy. I thought he was going to ask me out.. he was giving me all the right signs.. slow dancing, not telling me who he likes when he ALWAYS does and waiting for me after every class but he never asked me out and still hasnt. Do you think i should tell him how i feel? i would make a totally BIG fool of my self telling him this and then him not liking me.... is this just a friend thing? ive tried to make the first move by hugging him but still nothing... plz help i like him.. ALOT! (link)
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Well, we already think he likes you. Weather or not he wants a more serious relationship is what you have to figure out. I think the best way is going to be to just ask him. We all have to risk looking like a fool once in awhile in order to find things out! He may be thinking the very same thing! Ask him to a movie or something, if you have to do it at school you might run out of time and you are going to need some time to talk it over. Good luck :)
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my friend has this boy friend who is cutting himself and inking it (pouring ink all over the cut) because he wants to die and he is in a mental hospital right now and my friend likes him alot because he cares about her more than her step dad cause he beats and rapes her. well my friend said if this guy dies she is going to kill herself and ive tried talking to her but she wont listen and she still wants to kill herself if her bf dies. plz help (link)
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She told her mom and she is still living with him? Says a lot about mom too. She needs to get out of the situation she is in. She needs to be staying with a relative or something. Have her tell a counsler at school or something and stop putting up with that. Mom is just as guilty as the step dad is sinec she keeps her in the situation.
The boyfriend doesn't care about her either. He has to many problems of his own that are wiping out any feelings he may have for her. If he cared he wouldn't be in the situation he's in. This girl is getting it from everywhere. Encourage her to get away from all of it. If she won't go to a counsler then do it for her.
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I went to a sleepover recently and got around three hours of sleep. The next day, my parents took me to a concert that they really wanted to go to, and it was terribly tiring for me, but I held through it. Suddenly, my mother decides to tell me that we are going to a dinner party, and I almost started crying because I was just so tired and I didn't want the guests to see me that way. Of course, I was stupid and decided to be moody and upset, and my mom gave me a lecture afterwards and told me that a lot of people at the party knew I was acting up, and the older girl at the party was being so sweet and nice even though she was probably tired too. I feel really guilty, even though I apologized to my mom, because these other people who saw me probably think I'm whack, and the other girl was so sweet and kind and inviting. Is there anything that will make me feel better? (link)
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Send a note explain and apologize for your behavior. They will hopefully understand and not hold it against you, and you will feel better. Ask mom about it...It will show her your maturity. :)
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I have been living with my aunt carla for 5 years now, and about 2-3 months ago her 2 older boys moved out.. when they did me and my aunt got along really good , but about a month ago both of them moved back.. now i always fight w/ her and i cant stand it.. she gets stressed over my 2 cousins that moved back and expects me to do everything in the house because 'the boys are lazy ' but i always say ' they live here, just like i do , they should also do stuff to help out ' and my aunt was like they both work.. but now one of my cousins quit his job and all he does is put my aunt in a bad mood & so that makes her always mad @ me ! ne ways.. my aunt carla wants me to move in with my aunt barbara.. i love my aunt barbara, and get along with her so much better but she doesnt seem like shes in a good finanical place right now... another reason why i dont like it where i live is that if i wana go out in my back yard and tan one of my cousins will come out and say im fat and all this other stuff, like im a whore ! it brings me down alot, even though it shouldnt.. but if i lived with my other aunt i wouldnt have that problem.. i love my aunt carla, but i cant stand living with her sons any more.. any advice ? (link)
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If Aunt Barbara wants you to move in with her then go for it. She knows weather or not she can finacially do it. Don't worry over adult problems. Go where you'll be happiest! :)
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well there is this boy that told me he likes me, but i only liked him as a friend then....and now that i saw him again, he acted totally the same but then somehow i am madly in love with him now...i am pretty sure that he still like me but i am not really sure...how can i know...and also, he doesn't go to the same skool as me so would it be bad or weird if i was his gf? (link)
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So long as your able to see him now and then It's okay. If you are of an age where school dances and all that would have to be put aside because your boyfriend can't attend then it could be a problem. It wouldn't be weird or bad you just don't want to be sitting on the sidelines while your friends are out having fun.
If you like him though, maybe it can be worked out. You need to ask him what his feelings are and make your decission ffrom there. Good luck. :)
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There's this boy i really like but... i have a boyfriend and im going to be going out with him for 6 months this friday and I already had sex with him and I really like this kid named josh and we have 2 classes together and he’s in my grade. My friend asked him if he liked and and he was like ummmmmmmmmm ummmmmmm ummmm and asked who? And she said my name and he said ummmm no. how do I know if he likes me.??????!!!!!! Really need to know!! He’s moving to California in July and all I want is just a lil piece of him lol and I like in ny so we would NEVER see each other (link)
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If you know something is a no win situation then your better off leaving it alone. You will only get more attatched and hurt later. Besides, he said no. Leave it at that and turn your full attention to the one who does care about you. :)
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i dont usually do this but ok..im in love with this one guy that i've been with for 11 months, and he claims he is in love with me, but when we get in an arguement he says he doesnt love me right now, which is weird bc i thought that if you was in love with someoen you would love them unconditionally, he makes all the rules and doesnt let me have input on anything.every timei talk to him i end up crying bc he hurts me so bad emotionally..the only time he acts good to me is when he is about to get something(you know what i mean) after that he's back to his normal self.what should i do? i try leaving him but i always get weak and run back to him.i love him alot and i dnt know what i should do.i try telling him how i feel and he gets pissed so i just keep it to myself..im getting really close with this other guy who feels the same way about me as i do my guy, and i dont know what i should do, i love the guy im with, not the one who treats me like a goddess,..*confused*..what should i do..sorry its so long..forgive me lol (link)
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Write him a letter. Get everything you out in the open. I say to write to him because you can do that and not be interrupted by him. It is easy to lose you train of thought when someone is right back at you at every comment. Then make him read it. After that have a long discussion about your needs. If he then blows it off as unimportant...dump him. You deserve better. Being mentally abused is just as bad as being physically abused. If all he wants is a f*** buddy he can use his hand. Get tough! Good luck. :)
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Help im realy bored i do nothing all day except watch T.v and i have allready browsed the intire internet help!can you think of something to do I am realy realy bored!You may think that in exagerating but im not its realy an emergency.
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (link)
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Okay, You could read a book
play solitaire
play games online
put together a puzzle
take online quizzes and IQ tests for fun
take trivia quiz online
write email to everyone you know
Type in "things to do when your bored" in your browser (you'd be surprised)
If you aren't an advisor here and are over 13...sign up
hope that helped a little!
Have a great day!!
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Do you guys think it's okay to think that no matter what you do to me, if you apologize and are sincere about it, I will forgive you. That's how I've always been. I just feel that it take courage to apologize to someone after you've hurt them and if you do do it then you are truly sorry. I know sometimes people just throw around the "I'm sorry's" but most don't. Everyone makes mistakes (I know I do) and they need to be forgiven. What do you guys think of that? (link)
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I think if it is truly a sincere apology then thats what I do. You are right though that "I'm sorry" is thrown around to the point of meaning hardly anything. So is "I love you" in a lot of cases. I do believe that there is very little that cannot be forgiven if the apology is sincere. :)
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I've spent the past 7 months recooperating from my last break up, my boyfriend really meant a lot to me.
Now I finally decided I'm back up for dating, and just when I decide that, I meet the most amazing boy. We spent the night together. He was so sweet, and he had all the qualities I've been looking for. When I was around him, I felt like I could just live in the moment forever, he actually made me feel like I was worth something.
He gave me his number and asked me to call him, and so I did. But he didn't pick up, three times I left messages, and he hasn't responded. I've sent him text messages, and it will take him hours to respond, mainly with only one word answers like "Cool", "Ok", "Yea", and answers like that.
I want to know, what do you guys think I should do? It's been 2 days since I last called or text messaged him. Should I try again? Or should I just give up all hope?
This was the best way for me to feel better to. (scarcasm) Finally recover from a break up, meet someone, then have them ignore me. (link)
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I think missa8305 hit the nail right on the head. That is exactly what I was going to say. Get to know them first and make them persue you a little. If they really like you, they will wait. :)
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I was with my girlfriend for 2 years when she got pregnant. It wasn't a planned pregnancy but we decided that we would deal with it. The first week that she brought that baby home things were good. We got a little apartment and I was working full time during the day and she would work a couple hours at night just until I could support us with only my job. Well one day I got home from work and she was gone. She left a note saying that she wasn't ready for a child and that she's leaving our daughter with me. It's been a week since then. I've been doing the best I can but I don't know the first thing about being a parent and I have no one to ask about it. I grew up in foster homes my whole life. I love my little girl to death but I just don't know what to do anymore. She doesn't stop crying. I've tried feeding her, changing her, rocking her, everything that I can think and she keeps crying. I brought her to the doctor and he said that there is nothing physically wrong wtih her. I don't know what to do. If anyone has idea of what could be causing this please let me know. I would also appreciate it if any one knows anything about taking care of a 3 week old baby. Please help me.
Jack (link)
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Send one to my inbox anytime. Babys tend to pick up on what your feeling. If your stressed that probably isn't helping much! She may have a touch of colic. Is she going to the bathroom ok? I mean pooping? Is it normal or is it hard like a rock? I'm trying not to sound stupid but if it is, get some baby orange juice. Put just a little bit...maybe a tablespoon in a bottle of water (baby bottle). She may be having gas pains. And that will help her go. My son had colic and cried 24/7 until someone FINALLY told me to do that. I bout went nuts. Anyway, don't use much of the juice because it's very high in acid and not good to give her very much until she's a little older. Sure hope it helps. :)
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a girl at my school has been going through a very tough time lately. her dad left 3 weeks ago and she just found out that she might be pragnant. this would be much easier if she WASN'T 13!!! but she is and we are best friends. im the only one that knows about the pregnant thing. what do i tell her i rate high for a real answer
thanx (link)
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She needs to find out for sure. Then she needs to talk to mom. She will also need a best friend to lean on. :)
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K today this guy i like , came up to me and hugged me. He held me for atleast 5 minutes. Then when we got of the buss after school, he kept huggin me, and he asked me if he could hold my hand , and i said yes. So he did, then he asked if he could kiss me , and i didnt know what to say. So i kept quiet. Then my friends walked me home from their house, and he followed us. My friends are saying he likes me, but I dont think he does. What should i do?!?!?!?! i rate high. Please help. oo and hes 15/m and im 14/f (link)
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Why would you think he doesn't like you! He does.
Most boys son't go around hugging and kissing girls they don't like. Unless they are a real pervert or something. He doesn't sound like one of those! Ask him tomorrow. He does. :)
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does having sex in a pool lessen your chances or getting pregnant? (link)
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nope. :)
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