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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

so i been on the shot since january 09 and every since then me & my boyfriend has been having unprotected sex allll the time and everytime i go to get a pap or get the shot the pregnancy test comes up negative but lately ive been real sleepy and feeling sick not actually throwing up but i feel super sick then i goes away. ive been also real emo the past few days like ill just be sitting there and feel like crying for no reason. my tummy isnt really getting bigger cause its already a little pudge but all i wanna kno is whats the chances of me being pregnant or am i just going through a depression? also i dont have my period since i started the shot and after my most recent shot in july i stopped spotting. well thanks in advance =]

I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.

In this day and age of STD’s and HIV having unprotected sex is with your boyfriend is very risky. Unprotected sex is for long term monogamous relationships. Do you know who your boy friends past sex partners have been? Every time you have unprotected sex with your boyfriend you are also having sex with any other partner he has had unprotected sex with.

Yes condoms do decrease some of the feelings and some of the pleasure that goes along with them, but not the overall enjoyment. There is plenty of time for unprotected sex once you are in a long term committed relationship or married. For now it is best for both you and your boyfriend that you use a condom. Experiment with the different condoms on the market to find one that gives you both the most pleasure.

As a parent I should be writing and telling you not to be having sex, but that would be hypocritical. The difference today as to when I was 17 is HIV. When I was your age all we had to worry about was STD’s and pregnancy and STD’s were usually in the realm of street walkers and call girls.

You have college and a family of your own to look forward to, an STD can leave you sterile and HVI can shorten your life span. So use condoms for your own protection. If your boyfriend refuses, then he is out for his own pleasure and I would say is not much of a future life partner.

Ok, well I'm thinking of getting what I heard is a prepaid debit card. It is getting kind of annoying asking my parents to use their credit and in return I pay them the cost of what I'm getting because they not always agree even if I pay at full price. Anyways what is it? How do I use it? And where can I get one? There is a Walgreens near where I live and I heard they have prepaid debit cards there called the Green Dot. Can I use that? And what are the fees to a prepaid debit card? I prefer very detailed responses because I am pretty new to this kind of stuff. Basically I just need one to buy stuff on Ebay and maybe use it for my Xbox Live subscription. Also if I buy one and when I need to put cash in it do I just bring the card to the place where I bought it and pay them the amount I want?

I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.

Not being too familiar with the prepaid debit card I went on line to do some research for you. Below is the web address to the site I found that had the most information.

www.findcredit.com/credit-card/prepaid-debit-cards.html.

A prepaid debit card is not a credit card but can be used like one. What happens is you deposit a sum of money in an account that the card draws against when you make a purchase. Each of the cards has different limitations and different ways you can add to your account. Some can be added to at retail locations others can have direct deposits made from your employer and some will accept transfers’ from other cards or bank accounts.

I suggest you look at each of the cards shown on the website I am sending you to look at. Find the card that best fits your needs and apply for that one. There may be age restrictions so be prepared to ask your parent(s) to cosign for the card. I ‘m sure what I’m about to say is not what you want to hear but I will say it any way. At age 14 your parents are legally responsible for everything you do so it is best you consult with them and get their approval before you apply for any debit card.

I live in Des Moines Iowa. I have previously lived in NY, Michigan and Idaho. This is the first time I have tasted water that had such a weird flavor. Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about bad water like in Fl that just tastes like it came out of the sewer... the water is ok, it just has a totally different flavor than I am used to. I wasn't sure if it was my brita so I tasted it out of the tap and it tastes the same. I am in a new apartment complex and everything is clean so it's not the pipes... haha this is going to sound strange but it seems like is should taste better: it has a soft texture, it goes down very smooth, it leaves no sharp feeling in your throat when you are done...but, it has a weird flavor...is this maybe like "soft" water and I am just accustomed to drinking "hard" water? Will I eventually get used to it? Has anyone else felt this way? I let my guy taste it and he thought it tasted weird too and when you compare it to let's say some bottled water like Aquafina or Dasani the taste difference is very very very obvious. Thank you for your views.

I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.

The last time I was in Iowa I was visiting Cedar Rapids and did not notice any real difference in the water then what I was use to getting from bottled water. The new pipes in your building could be affecting the taste of the water. If you are unsure of the waters quality or safety you could take a sample of the water to the water company for testing.

Give the water company a call; tell them what you have written here. They will either send someone out or as I have suggested ask you to bring them a sample.

I am 25 years old and pregnant with my second child. I have never been on birth control because I am very against putting any hormones into my body that aren't there already. I have used the pull out method most of my sexual life and the only two times I have gotten pregnant were the times my partner did not pull out. I do realize however that this is not a reliable form of birth control and I am fine with having two children, and do not want another one anytime in the near future if ever. I am sorta afraid of the copper iud since I have heard horror stories, and my partner will not wear a condom (it doesnt pay for me to try...he just won't so do not suggest it). I would like to know what other options i have out there. Probably not many lol as my standards are quite high. thanks!

I find that I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.

If you are absolutely sure you do not want to have any more children the best form of birth control that has no known side effects or chemicals are Vasectomies’ or Tubal Ligations. Both of these are considered to be permanent forms of birth control as reversals are not guaranteed or recommended.

As to just which partner should have the appropriate procedure is something the two of you should decide together then consult with your doctor(s). Both procedures are done on an outpatient basis with some Urologists performing the Vasectomy in their office and others opting for outpatient surgical Centers. Tubal Ligations are done under general Anastasia at outpatient surgical Centers. In most cases only two or three days of bed rest is need before returning to work.

My mother recently had her thyroids removed (both), and we have a question concerning medicines that she may or may not be able to take.

If you've noticed on some medicines (over-the-counter types such a cold and cough medication, etc.), it says "ask a doctor before use if you have a thyroid disease". Can she take this medication? Technically, she doesn't even have thyroids, so we were confused. I think she plans on asking her doctor at the next visit, but does anyone know about this?

Thanks.

To the best of my knowledge none of the advisors are Doctors therefore are not qualified to answer this question. Your mother needs to speak with her doctor to learn what over the counter medications she can and cannot take. The pharmacist who has dispensed the medication your mother is taking to replace the actions of her thyroid may also be able to advice her if she is unable to contact her doctor.

All of us on this website are here because we want to help people when and where we can. Medical questions are best left to the professionals who we are not, which in this case is the best answer any of us can provide you.

Has anyone else had HPV? My doctor just called me today and said I'm in an early stage of HPV, she said don't worry because it's very common. I know there isn't a cure and I'm just really scared .. has anyone else been through it?

I find that I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.

As a male I haven’t gone through what you are at the moment worried about. I did do some research for you that hopefully will allow you to calm down some and be less fearful. The following URL will take you to Wikipedia’s’ section on HPV wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_papillomavirus. From what I read your doctor is being very thorough in ordering a colonoscopy as the Anus is another place HPV can be found in both men and women.

Your doctor told you not to worry, from what I read I would tend to agree with that opinion. The article stated that 90% of the infections cleared in 2 years and 70% in 1 year. Read the article yourself, I only looked at the first page. Decide for yourself if you have reason to be overly worried at this time. As I said from what little I read, I tend to agree with your doctor and ask you not to worry until or when you are told you have something to worry about.

For future reference, never be afraid to ask questions of your doctor. You have every right to know your medical condition and to have it explained to you in terms you understand.

my boyfriend is pissing blood and for some reason his parents think i step out of your relationship and cheat, when in fact hes the one who cheats on me.. but anyways hes pissing blood like maybe 5 times a month its been happening since april.. and they think i gave him an std.. ive only slept with 2 people.. him and a virgin and the virgin it was his first time doing everything and i still had him get tested and he was clean.. ive been with my boyfriend 9 months.. so if he had an std and gave it to me would i know by now? i dont have any symptoms i know aids can take years to come up so i mean any other ones? he's had 23 sexual partners and hes 19 and im 17

I find that I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.

First and most important you need to be examined by your doctor and be tested for STD’s as well as HIV. Second since you know your boyfriend has had other partners and is prone to cheating on you, you should not be having unprotected sex with him. In fact if I was your father I would be doing my best to convince you to reconsider your relationship with your boyfriend.

As to your boyfriend pissing blood: If you can actually see blood in his urine he needs to be seen by a Urologist immediately. An STD is only one of many causes for blood in ones urine. He could have a tear someplace in his urinary track or a major urinary infection. A Urologist is the specialist who is best qualified to find out the cause of the bleeding. If your boyfriend has not already seen a doctor he should see one immediately or go to the nearest hospital emergency room for evaluation and treatment.

i dont really know how to explain myself.
i feel im rude to people.
when im not trying to be,
it could be cause im jsut having a crappy day, but its hurting other peoples feelings.
im very confused at this whole situation and the rest of my life.
please help.

As someone older than most of the advisor my answers may be somewhat different than those received and those you will receive.

At your age being rude could be just the result of going through puberty, a hormonal thing. You may be thinking wait a minute I’ve already gone through puberty and gotten my period so this can’t be right.

Your body goes through puberty in stages sort of. You may have gotten your period but your body is still adjusting to the hormonal changes. These changes can cause you to be rude or bitchy as some what put it. The fact that you have noticed this is a good thing.

What to do about it: If this continues much longer I would suggest talking to a GYN or your family doctor about this. It is possible there are some medications that will help you with the hormonal changes.

Im sorry if you dont answer questions that relate with sex, delete this if you arent comfortable.
anyways, since you are older and more experienced, I was wondering something about guys (21, f) so I have never had sex, and I dont plan to until marriage or engagement. But when you want to give a guy a blowjob before sex, do you blow him until he cums? For me, I feel like if he orally simulates me for so long that i get an orgasm, I get satisfied and turned off (not like uninterested, but I litterally dont feel like I would want to have sex.)
Thanks.

The satisfaction for the male in a blow job is climaxing. So the answer to your question is yes you should complete the act especially if you do not plan to have intercourse with him. It is also not unusual that once you have an orgasm you are sexually satisfied and want only to cuddle. That is why once you start to have intercourse it is to find out if your partner is capable of multiple climaxes. It sounds like you are not multiply orgasmic and you need to let your partner know this.

I admire your ideal of remaining a virgin until your married or engaged. There are still many men out there who believe that a women’s virginity is the most precious gift she can give a man.

Yesterday night i was drunk and puked. AT first shot all the alcohols came out and just aftr that red stuff came out. I believe its blood.i was puking blood for 1 min.

Prior to that i had worked out for 2 hrs. Sauna and Steam bath left me really tired. I was very hungry but did not eat and started drinking.

ALso i have been skipping breakfast for 2 months.Is this wat caused the prob?
PLease advice..

I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.

I see two problems in what you have written. I will start with the blood in you vomit. Whenever you have signs of internal bleeding it is best to have it checked out by a doctor or nurse practitioner. None of us on this website are medical professionals and should not be making medical diagnoses. We are also the wrong people to be asking about medical problems, only your doctor who knows your physical make up or a doctor who can do a complete physical can determine the cause of anything that is medically wrong with you.

You need to see a doctor and have this bleeding problem checked out. If you are under 18 ask tell your parents what happened and ask one of them to accompany you to the doctor. You can leave out the fact that you were drinking when talking to your parents if you feel you need to but you need to tell the doctor. I will not address the underage drinking as I am sure your doctor will.

The second problem is working out and skipping meals. When working out you need a proper diet to keep your body in balance. By working out you are not just burning fat you are burning off electrolytes and other things your body needs. An over simplification is to look at your body as a car engine. You may have plenty of oil in the crankcase, but if you do not refill the gas tank eventually the engine will stop running.

Go to the doctor and get the blood thing checked out. While you’re there ask your doctor about a diet for you to follow for your workout routine.

This was kinda of split between two categories so sorry if you feel its in the wrong place.

So to start with I've never really been a petite girl. I'm 5'5" give or take an inch. I've inherited a large frame from my dad's side to start with. I realize I'm never going to look like Eva Longoria but I'd just like to not feel so huge anymore. When I went through puberty I had a little extra weight because I didn't do much outside cheer practice. I think I was about 145 lbs then. Freshman year I was still that big. Sophomore year I quit cheer and ate less. I lost weight and got down to 128 was my lowest. To me that's still not as small as I'd like to be, but it's the smallest I was. I've always thought of myself as fat. End of high school I weighed like 138.

When I met my boyfriend 7 months ago I weighed 144, I was already trying to lose weight because I was self-conscious about it. He doesn't think I'm fat but honestly I don't care what he thinks. This is something I think about constantly every day. It's always on my mind. Since I met him I lost my old job and had to get a job as a waitress. At the restaurant I get free food when I'm working, and they don't have the healthiest things to eat there. I'm limited in what I can eat because I'm a vegetarian.

Since I've started working there I've gained 10 lbs. This has not helped my self image AT ALL. I'm disgusted with myself. This is the biggest I've ever been and I hate it. I'm to the point that I've been looking at anorexia websites for tips. I know that sounds horrible and I'm not proud of it but I don't know what else to do.

It's like I sit here and tell myself this is the last straw, I'm gonna eat like 1 banana all day tomorrow that's it. (I know that's not healthy but at this point I don't care). I tell myself all these efforts I'm going to make but then when it comes time that I'm hungry the fact that I'm trying to lose weight doesn't even cross my mind. I look for something quick and easy instead of taking the time to cut up an apple for a snack. SOMETIMES I'll remember and those times I eat super healthy. But I can't seem to get myself to make the effort to lose weight.

Now the reason this is in the category this is in is because I can't bring myself to be intimate with my boyfriend at all. When I was smaller I never had a problem with other guys but now that I'm this big that's all I can think about when he asks me. Like that's all he would see is my fat rolls and I'm so disgusting don't look at me. So I'll make up excuses like I just don't feel comfortable with my roommate in the next room and blah blah. So then when my roommate goes out then I have to come up with some other excuse like I'm on my period or I have cramps....It's getting ridiculous. We've been dating for 7 months and we haven't had sex yet because I can't bring myself to do it.

I need to lose this weight NOW so I can get over this I'm sick of hating myself.

I don't care how unhealthy it is I don't care about anything anymore I just want to be thin.

***I need some tips of how to remind myself not to eat unhealthy.

I dont want to write it on my hand, and I can't write a note in the kitchen because my roommate (who weighs like 90lbs and eats like a teenage boy) will see it and I'm embarrassed about it. If it's something physical it needs to be something I can leave in my room.

***I also need some tips of how to force myself to get into the gym or force myself to do a small workout at home. I don't have any workout equipment at home (unless you count the Wii Fit lol) but I could go buy some weights or maybe a yoga dvd? Do you think that would help? I don't want to waste money if it wont help.

And does anybody have any advice on how I can get over this self-consciousness with my boyfriend? I really want to enjoy our physical relationship but right now I can't and it's causing a lot of fights between us.

I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.

Your obsession with your weight and your obsession interfering with your enjoyment of life is more concerning to me then your weight issue itself. When you obsess over something and allow that obsession to interfere with the everyday enjoyment of life, are two of the classic signs of depression. Depression alone can be the cause of your weight gain. How do I know this? I suffer from Depression due to injuries resulting from an auto accident.

Crash diets and all those fad diets won’t work especially for someone who may be suffering from depression. The frustration factor is just too high and the end result is you will not lose any weight and main gain some.

According to diet finds.com, at your height you are a few pounds below the high side of the weight scale for your height. You say you are big bone and big framed so this weight area is probably not as bad as you are making it out to be. According to the chart the target weight for height is 136 pounds. I would add another 5 to 10 pounds for being large framed and large boned.

Suggestions: The first thing you should do is find out if you are suffering from some form of depression. Start with your family doctor he/she will most likely refer you to another doctor for evaluation and possible medication. That doctor will also refer you to a therapist to help you get to the root cause(s) of the problem and how to deal with it.

Next, start trying to enjoy life. Let your boyfriend be intimate with you. If you will feel more comfortable keep your bedroom dark. Just remember one thing: Your boyfriend was attracted to you by more than just outer beauty. Remember the old saying, “beauty is only skin deep”. Your boyfriend wants to make love to you the person not you the body. After 7 months of companionship without sex I think you should understand he is in love with you the person not you the body.

Thanks to Hollywood and Madison Avenue we all want bodies like the models, actors and actresses. Fact is most of them do not have the bodies we see in the magazines thanks to airbrushing, camera tricks and let’s not forget plastic surgery. So please take my advice and see a doctor, stop worrying about your weight and start enjoying life.

my friend just told me that she has cut her wrist twice in the past week and she has tried to make herself throwup. She keeps telling me how she wants to die, and when I confront her about it she says how she would never do that, but how am I supposed to believe her? I care a lot about her, probably more than my own life, but I don't want anything to happen to her and it be my fault that I didn't tell anyone. I'm the only one she trusted to tell this to, and I really don't know if I can keep my promise not to tell anyone. Shouldn't I keep my promise to her though? We are all going to be juniors in high school, and I thought this was going to be a great year for us, but now I just want my friend to stop hurting herself. Please help me out, I don't know what to do to help her.

I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.

When someone does what your friend has done to herself it is a cry for help. The fact that she confided in you and asked you to keep her secret is also a cry for help as she trusts you and your judgment to do the right thing.

What I suggest you do is talk to your parents tell them what your friend has told you. Ask your parents to call your friends parents to tell them what has been told to you. Should your parents not want to get involved or for some reason you do not want to involve your parents, you could go to another trusted adult and ask them to contact her parents. If you are unable or do not want to talk with someone you know you can always talk to your local police. If you live in the US you can also go to your local Fire Station for help. All Fire Stations in the US are Safe Havens; Tell them what you have written here and they will contact the appropriate agency to check into your friends well being.

Will your friend be upset with you for revealing her secret? At first, then after she gets the treatment she needs she will understand your concern was for her safety and well being. When someone does what you friend is doing to herself it is because of a deeper hurt that she cannot or will not bring to the surface. She may or may not be totally aware of just what the hurt is; this is a classic sign of depression which can be treated with medications to help her feel better. Then through therapy with a trained therapist she can work to find out or workout what it is that is causing this deep hurt and how to handle it properly.

I'm 15, I'm a girl, I'm in love with a 28 year old man, he is in love with me, we have never done anything, not even kissed, but we go on dates and meet up about 3 or 4 times a week.

Is this wrong? And does he just want sex? Because that is what I'd normally think, but we've been dating a few months and he's never so much as suggested anything. And we were friends for ages before that too. I don't know what to do.

And I know I'm young, and people say I'm to young to be in love, but I've never felt like this before.

I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.

How many different ways do you need to be told this relationship is wrong? Lets’ start with the legal definition of wrong: The man you are dating is 13 years your senior; in many States just the fact you are dating could constitute statutory rape even though you have not had sex. If you two have crossed any State lines together, without your parents’ permission, this is a violation of the Mann Act which is a Federal Law. Then of course they can throw in contributing to the delinquency of a minor, possible kidnapping charges and a host of other charges depending on the State you live in.

If this man is not a sexual predator, which I believe him to be, then something must be wrong with him as a normal 28 year old man does not date a 15 year old girl. He has to want something from you he cannot get from a woman his own age. Eventually he is going to want sex from you, just when, where and how is yet to be determined.

Most likely it is your sexual inexperience he is after and just what his plans may be I have no idea. What I do know is that you are in danger and need to stay away from this man. You need to tell your parents about him and about your relationship with him. As I said above I believe this man to be a predator and your parents will most likely agree with me. They will know what action to take to protect you.

You wrote us because your instincts tell you something is wrong. Follow your instincts and follow my advice to inform your parents. Have I tried to scare you with what I have written here? The answer is a definite yes. As I have said I believe you to be in danger, maybe not immediate danger but you are in danger every time you see this man.

so my grandpa is getting surgery on his neck he didnt wanna talk about it but there is a chance that he could get paralized. that terrifies me. a treat to him like that has made me realize i wouldntnt even be where i am now without him(i lived with my grandparents half of my life) I really want him to know i appreciate everything hes done for me and my brother but i dont know how to i stay over at their house almost everyweekend but theyre usually watching something i dont like so i dont normally sit in the living room with them i mostly just sit in there back room and get on the computer. How can i show him that i really appreciate him? please dont say give him a card or something like that

Being close to your grandfather’s age I would think I could tell you what he probably feels. I believe he already knows how appreciative you are for everything he has done for you and your brother just by how well you and your brother have grown in to adolescence. The fact that you visit every weekend means a lot to him. Your presence in his home is comfort in itself and the fact that you don’t nag him to watch something he does not enjoy shows your respect and admiration for him and everything he has done for you.

Now that he is going into the hospital you can be of great comfort to him by being there with him as he enters the hospital to prepare for the surgery. Tell him you will be waiting for him when the operation is over and greet him with a big smile and a hug, if the doctors allow a hug, when he is brought back to his room.

Most of all just tell your grandfather how much you love him. I know that is all I would want. I do not need material things from my grandchildren to show their love. I would much prefer something they made with their own two hands; a card, cookies or a cake. Something that shows love that is what would do it for me and I am pretty sure your grandfather would appreciate the same things.

I hope my answer helps and I hope all goes well with your grandfathers’ surgery.

I'm 13 and just a few days ago i realized i had some sort of skin irritation on my leg. it's red and sometimes itchy but i can barely notice it. i only noticed it when i went in the jacuzzi water, because it hurt.
here's a picture of it (warning: its pretty gross)
http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s107/alisakwok88/Photo880.jpg
what can i do to soothe it? is it because of the chlorine in pool water or because it's dry?

I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.

From what I can see in the picture the rash looks like some form of contact dermatitis. The pain and itching would increase when getting into a Jacuzzi or swimming pool because of the chlorine which is a form of bleach. There are some over the counter medications that will relieve the pain and itching. You can ask the Pharmacist to recommend one. You should consult with a doctor before trying any over the counter medications.

Before you run off to the drug store you should show the rash to your mother or father. You need to tell them how long it has been going on and let them make the decision as to whether they need to take you to the doctor or if they should consult with the doctor by phone or if they need to consult with the doctor at all.

Never hide medical problems for your parents or try to cure yourself with over the counter medications without parental supervision. Doing so at your age is just asking for trouble. Worse is asking people like us, who are not medical professionals to advise you on medical issues. Other than your parents only a Doctor or someone else licensed to practice medicine should be consulted on medical issues. Getting the wrong advice, even on something which seems so simple, can lead to far greater medical problems. While I am on the subject I might as well throw this in too: Never ever take a prescription medicine that has not been prescribed for you. Only your doctor knows your physical make up and what medications your body will tolerate.

Just a side note; we parents are not the enemy. Our main purpose in life is to raise are children and to look after their well being while doing so. We raise our children mostly by teaching by example. When you do not come to us with these problems and the problems grows into a bigger problem we get angry because we are scared by the possible outcomes, then we are mad at you. Keep this in mind next time you think you should hide something from your parents.

Show the rash to your parents and let them decide if you need to see a doctor.

ok, i cant get my past out of my head. ive been through alot of shyt in my life.
heres how it starts:

when i was younger my mom took me out of state away from my dad. my mom tried filling my head with crap like my dad was going to kill us if he finds us. and so i didnt see him for about 9 years.
before i saw my dad:
i lived in shelter after shelter, never in a stable home.
my mom use to beat me when i was asleep and awake, everyday i went to school bruised up...one day i got tierd of my mom beating me so i hit her back and she called the cops(this happened twice)
i always got in fights at school(i always won(just sayig) and i got suspended for it. one time i punched this chicks face in so bad, her parent pressed charges(the charges droped because the chick moved away). i always skiped school and class.
I use to make my self throw up...not because i didnt like the way my body looked, but because of some of the shyt that happening.
when i was in 5th or 6th grade i almost died...i kept getting strip-throat and it turned into mono and both sides of my neck were swollin' litterally the size of tenis balls, i went to the hospital...i was in there for about a month and a half they gave me some meds and then i had to goback cause i had a servere reaction i was in the hospital again for another 2 weeks or so...

then i moved in with my dad and all seemed to get better!!!:)

that pretty much it...
i cant get all this shyt out head...
help me!!!
what do i do???? im desperate for the right answer to make me not think about my past!!!

HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.

From what you have written it sounds as if you were an abused by your mother. This is something you are not going to get out of your head by exercise or finding something else to occupy your thoughts.

What I believe you need is professional help to learn to deal with the abuse. The first thing you need to do is talk with your father. If he does not already know what you went through with your mother then you need to tell him and to tell him what is going through your thoughts and how you feel. Then you can call the National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) for help and advice.

There is also a website I found for victims of child abuse. The URL is: http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ovc/help/ca.htm#1. You may find some useful information here to help you.

Most importantly you need to find a therapist trained in Child Abuse to help you. This is something that has happened to you, you cannot will it away, ignore it or pretend it did not happen. What you can do, and thankfully you are no longer living in the position of daily abuse by your mother, is learn how to put what has happened in the proper perspective and deal with this. The abuse your mother gave you was not your fault. You did nothing to deserve it. Whatever she said, whatever she told you, you did to justify her abuse of you was wrong and an out and out lie. Her verbal attacks as well as the physical attacks were just forms of the abuse that you did nothing to bring upon yourself.

In therapy you will learn how to put all of this in the proper prospective as well as to speak with someone who will keep everything you tell them confidential. Once you have learned to deal with your past it will not bother you in the future and you can move ahead with your life. So talk to your father and ask him to help you get the help you need.

why does my lowr right side hurt it hurts when i lay to my side and it hurts if i lay down or sit or walk could it be my apendix im really scared

I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.

Pain is the bodies’ way of telling you something is wrong, it should not be ignored. Asking non-professionals to make a medical diagnosis is like asking a bus driver to fly a 747. The results are not going to be pretty.

You need to tell your parents what is wrong and how long it has been going on. Let them make the decision as to whether they need to take you to the doctor or if they should consult with the doctor by phone. Never hide medical problems from your parents or try to cure yourself with over the counter medications without parental supervision. Doing so is just asking for trouble at your age.

Just a side note; we parents are not the enemy. Our main purpose in life is to raise our children and to look after their well being while doing so. It may seem to you that we are smothering you while doing so. The problem here is that it is hard for most of us to realize our babies are growing up. Suggestion, my kids used this on me, talk calmly with your parents and remind them that you are now an adolescent and need to spread your wings a bit. Tell them they have raised you to understand right from wrong and you promise to try and not let them down if they will allow you a little freedom.

Talk to your parents about that pain in your side and have a doctor check it out.

14/f almost 15

I've been cutting since I was in 8th grade. I'm going to be a sophomore. I hid it from my parents forever. A couple months ago I like had some weird panic attack or breakdown or something. I was crying like almost screaming. My brother came knocking on the door asking if I was ok. Then my dad started banging on it and almost broke the door down and I was screaming, "OK I'll open it!" I did and my dad grabbed me and looked at me. I was all cut up. I mean my thighs and my arms were horrible. Then he took me out to my mom and they both were screaming at me. I wasn't still bleeding so they didn't want me to the hospital.

Before that I was crying to my friend on the phone. She ended up coming over begging my dad to let her see me.

My dad took everything away from me. My phone, my computer, my mp3. He even took away my church and wanted to keep me away from my friend that came to help me. He hates her. And doesn't want me to have anything to do with her.

I don't understand. I don't know what to do at this point. They expected me to stop after all that. Like taking my stuff away is gonna help. Not seeing anybody for the whole summer?!

What am I supposed to do? I cut myself before because of everything. To be honest I didn't hate my life. I just mostly hated myself. I thought I was ugly, fat, stupid, ect. I know I'm not but I made myself believe it. Because that's what my parents told me. It made me feel horrible. Then my mom had drinking problems going on. My brother was stealing things and I was failing a couple subjects in school and...it just came along to me.

My dad thought I was suicidal. When he was yelling at me he mentioned that he would help me kill myself because he doesn't care if I was dead because if I'm gonna do this to our family it was my choice. Then in another lecture he said the same thing.

Now all I do is cry every night. That's not what I want. Really. All I have is my friends. I actually have time to get on the computer when my parents are at work. So I always wondered what happened to unconditional love. That night when he was talking to me he told me I could tell him any problems that are going on. How am I supposed to tell him anything when he just tells me its ok to die. He mostly said "yeah I would be upset later on but I would realize that's what she wanted anyways" This makes me feel so bad.

Anyways, they just... I just don't know what to do at this point. My friend told me she went through the same thing but her parents got her help. I was told I had depression. It makes sense but I just haven't really talk to anyone about this except my friends.

I know my dad cares...sorta. I thought he did but after hearing that he would be ok if I was dead then it makes me not care about him anymore.

I just keep getting made fun of in my family. My mom calls me bad. My dad calls me stupid, crazy, and once, he called me a zombie. This doesn't make me feel great.

Anybody know what I can do?

I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.

Panic attacks, cutting and low self esteem are all symptoms of depression for which you should seek a doctor’s help. Once under a doctor’s care it is possible you will see things in an entirely new prospective.

When your father finally caught you cutting yourself he did not see this as a cry for help, he reacted poorly by punishing you instead of seeking medical help for you. I too believe you suffer from some form of depression and therefore, while I believe what you have written, I also have to understand that some of what you have written could be misinterpreted by you because of the depression.

How do I know this? I too suffer from depression and fight every day from regressing back into the depressive ways of my past. With the aid of medication and the aid of a good therapist I have been able to keep my depression under control. I now see life in an entirely different light. I interpret thing entirely different than I have in the past. I find it amazing how depression affects ones impressions of just about everything.

What I would like you to do is calmly sit down with your parents and ask them to take you to the family doctor. Take the letter you have written us with you to the doctor and let him/her read it. I am positive that after reading your letter the doctor will prescribe some medication to help you feel better while arrangements are made for you to see the appropriate specialist.

If you are absolutely certain, or after talking with your parents, that they will not help you or take you to the doctor there are a couple of other things you can do. The first thing is, and you can do this now or at anytime, is to call the hot line at Boys & Girls Town. The Number there is: 1-800-448-3000. The call takers there are specifically trained to help you and to help you locate professionals in your area to deal with your depression. You can also go to any hospital emergency room, again bring the letter with you that you have written us. Do not worry about the cost; there are programs to cover the cost. Once the doctor’s read what you have written they will know what they need to do for you to help you feel better.

Lastly if at any time you feel like cutting yourself, don’t. Instead pick up the phone and call 911. Tell the call take what you are thinking of doing to yourself, they will send the appropriate emergency service to help you. Yes, most likely the service sent will be the Police and Fire Department. Do not be afraid, they are there to help you.

There is help out there for you; you do not have to hurt yourself to feel something. Please call the hotline for advice. See your doctor or go to the emergency room for help.

so i have this 'step-mom' who isn't actually my step-mom i just tell people that she is. she is actually my fathers girlfriend whom he has a child with who is therefore my half-brother. so even though her and my father ar not married i call her my step-mom and ive known her for about three years. anyway, she used to be really nice to me, like even a couple weeks ago she was still nice to me, but lately she's been a complete bitch. i'm really sick right now and im getting surgery in a couple days, and when she gets home from work she comes in and yells at me for not doing anything and about how everythings dirty and how i didnt do anything all day and i just sat there and watched tv. what am i supposed to do, im freaking sick and i cant walk!!! she doesnt even look at me anymore, never talks or anything. my dad hasnt said anything about it either. she left on a trip with my half brother about an hour ago and didnt even let me say bye to him, and she didnt even say bye to me, she just left. what did i do to her? i dont know what i should do anymore, i try to be nice any chance i can but she blows me off. any suggestions?

I find that I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.

I can’t really be sure of this but it may be the fact that you are sick and taking your fathers attention away from her and their child. If I am right and this is the case she is not much of an adult. As any parent with more than one child and a spouse can attest to; it is possible to have enough love and attention to go around. Of course when one of the children or the other adult is ill that person is going to receive an inordinate amount of attention for the duration of their illness. That is just the way things are suppose to be and in most families everyone understands this.

Of course there could be other reasons why your “step-mom” may be acting the way she is towards you. It just may be that she can’t handle the fact you are ill and she will have to be your primary caregiver. Having no other way to tell you or your father this she chose to pick a fight with you, again not much of an adult way to handle things. Then of course there may be a problem between her and your father and she has chosen to take out on you.

The best thing to do in this situation is to have a private talk with your father and tell him how you feel and how you feel your step-mother is treating you. The fact that you are going to have surgery means you have to be well rested and calm prior to the surgery. If your step-mom is doing things to upset you I would think your father would want to know about it.

Good luck with the surgery and I hope the surgery corrects whatever is wrong.

when i turn on the car it will run good for like 20 minutes after that it turns off and when i try to turn it on it seems like gas doesnt pass, but i alredy change the gas pump 3 times and still does the same problem what else could be?

Since it runs to begin with it sounds like it is one of two problems. Clogged gas or air filters. If you can't remember when the last time any of the filters were changed I would change the gas filter, PC Valve and air filters. Make sure to change all the gas filters. Some gars have in-line and in-tank filters. The other problem I am thinking of is a vacumn problem and is a bit more complicated to solve and should be checked out bya certified mechanic.

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