about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I want to kill myself soon but I don't want to make a big mess for my family to clean up. I was hoping to think of something that was quick and painless but I can't find one that meets all of my criteria. My life is a wreck and I'm so tired of living. My boyfriend broke up with me, my best friend isn't my friend after all, and I can't find a job even. My mom doesn't know I'm suicidal even and I just don't want her to have to deal with a big bloody mess if I did something. So, what are some fast and nonmessy ways to commit suicide at home?

First; no one on this site is going to tell you how to commit suicide. Second; suicide is always messy either physically for the person trying to commit suicide or for those they leave behind. Third; most suicides are not successful. Life is not like that which is portrayed by Hollywood. For whatever reason you are contemplating suicide the chances are 90% against success and 100% for you ending up being in a worse condition then you are in now. The human body is designed to do everything it can to save itself. To do so it will start shutting down systems in order to continue to oxygenate the most vital systems with the Brain being the last system to be maintained. This is why in real life we will always try to resuscitate a drowning victim.

From what you have written you sound depressed. I have been where you are now and can tell you with 100% certainty things will get better. For the moment your perspective on life is skewed by the depression you are suffering. Once treated, most likely with medication and some talk therapy you will start to see things in a different perspective.

You sound actively suicidal; please pick up the phone and dial 911 or go to the nearest hospital emergency room. Do not worry about the cost of treatment, there are programs available to cover the medical costs.

You can also like you to call the National Suicide hot line. There number is: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). They operate 24/7 and are totally free and confidential. They have a network of crisis center around the country they can refer you to for help, probably one right in your home town or close to you. The call takers are trained professionals who are volunteers and are there to help you; so please give them a call, they can and will help you through this.

IF YOU HAVE PLANS TO IMMEDIATELY HURT YOURSELF PLEASE CALL 911 NOW. THINGS WILL GET BETTER ONCE YOU RECEIVE TREATMENT FOR THE DEPRESSION I BELIEVE YOU ARE SUFFERING.

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One of my relatives and the rest of my family have been in a fight for over five years. The relative moved out of town without telling anyone in my family except for me. She wanted me to know where she is if I need her, but for now wishes to have no contact with the rest. However the rest of my family have figured out that she's no longer at her old job. What do I do? I would just stay out of it except that the rest of my family is likely to grill me about her when they come to visit me in a few weeks. It is one of those dysfunctional family things and I can understand the relative's position but I am stuck in an impossible position with her wish that I pretend that I know nothing about where she is.

I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.

I agree to some of what RAZHIE has said: I would not tell your family that you know where she is. Instead I would say that you have a method of communicating with her and that she is healthy and happy though for now wishes to only communicate with you. Tell your family members you will be happy to pass along any message they may have but it must be something you can read as you do not have a mailing address or phone number. If asked how you communicate you can say by email and no you cannot give out the address or she will change it. This may or may not be the truth, if it is not the truth it is a little white lie meant to protect you, her and the rest of your family.

Tell the family member what you are going to tell the rest of the family. By no means should you tell them or give them the remotest idea of where she may be living. For whatever reason she has for not wanting to be in contact with the rest of the family if you supply any idea where she may be living it gives them a starting point in which to start locating her. Email goes worldwide without a fixed location required and is the best way to keep someone’s location private.

It is tough being in the middle of something of this nature. Do what feel you have too to protect yourself from a possible backlash from the rest of the family.

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i wnt to stop cutting myself but i dont know how i really need advice any reccomended support groups i dont care what it is as long as it helps me stop cause i dont want to hurt myself anymore
15f

I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
Panic attacks, cutting and low self esteem are all symptoms of depression for which you should seek a doctor’s help. Once under a doctor’s care it is possible you will see things in an entirely new prospective.
How do I know this? I too suffer from depression and fight every day from regressing back into the depressive ways of my past. With the aid of medication and the aid of a good therapist I have been able to keep my depression under control. I now see life in an entirely different light. I interpret thing entirely different than I have in the past. I find it amazing how depression affects ones impressions of just about everything.

What I would like you to do is calmly sit down with your mum or your dad and ask one of them to take you to the family doctor. Take the letter you have written us with you to the doctor and let him/her read it. I am positive that after reading your letter the doctor will prescribe some medication to help you feel better while arrangements are made for you to see the appropriate specialist.

These Hot line numbers are also available for you to call. One I recommend is at Boys & Girls Town. The Number there is: 1-800-448-3000. The call takers there are specifically trained to help you and to help you locate professionals in your area to deal with your depression. If you do not live in the U.S. there are similar organizations that can be found on-line in most countries.

You can also go to any hospital emergency room, again bring the letter with you that you have written us. Do not worry about the cost; there are programs to cover the cost. Once the doctor’s read what you have written they will know what they need to do for you to help you feel better.

Lastly if at any time you feel like cutting yourself, don’t. Instead pick up the phone and call 911. Tell the call taker what you are thinking of doing to yourself, they will send the appropriate emergency service to help you. Do not be afraid, they are there to help you.
There is help out there for you; you do not have to hurt yourself to feel something. Please call the hotline for advice. See your doctor or go to the emergency room for help.

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I don't understand how the courts could give coustody to the mother who commetid adultry but in my case that is what happend .I never cheated on my wife .I was always faithful to her just what it said in our vouls .and to top it all off I can't even see my daughter because she has a restraining order on me .she's afraid I would take off with her and never come back .witch I would never do but its real that's what she done and I have to pay child suport 500 a month for a child I can't see .I don't understand it she's hurting me and my daughter .my daughter was real close to me dadys girl I took care of her provided for her loved her and now I'm lost without her .they say life isn't fair but do I deserve this can anyone tell me

No you do not deserve what has happened. It is unfortunate but unless the mother is seen as totally unfit, meaning she is an alcoholic or on drugs, mentally unstable or physically unable to care for a child, the courts will always award custody to the mother. The law is always one or two steps behind the times although today in the case of child custody they have been leaning more towards joint custody more than single custody.

Since your wife has been granted a restraining order against you for whatever reason getting unrestricted visitation is going to nearly impossible. I would suggest you find a lawyer and have that lawyer petition for supervised visitation. Visitation supervised by someone from family services that can report to the court on the interaction between you and your daughter. A report from family services will have a lot more weight with the court. Your lawyer can also advise you on what you need to do, based on the reason(s) stated in the restraining order to convince the court that you are not a danger to yourself, your child or your ex wife.

It is a shame that a person can go into court, a place where truth is suppose to prevail, lie and cheat to get what they want no matter who they hurt. Lawyers are supposed to protect the system from perjury but turn a blind eye in the name of serving their clients best interest.

Good luck I hope you get to see your daughter.

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ok so my friendd is very sick she keeps making herself throw up and its sad like i want her to eat she thinks she fat and shes not even fat !!!!! not even kidding you this girl is like 135 that nt fat ! anyways so i went up to her today and i grabbed her hand and she felt so weak ! i wanted to cry because she shouldnt b doing this to herself bt i didnt i just told her that i loved her and i will always be here for her... i dont no what to do can someone help me? what should i say to her? and why do you think she keeps doing this to herself? and do you think that she will b able to go to this trip thats on friday???

I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.

If you are a "true friend" you will tell her parents what is going on with her. Bulimia is a life threatening condition in that the electrolites our bodies need get so out of balance thet even with medical intervention there is a good chance she can die.

Bulimia is a medical condition that is going to require a doctors help in overcoming; not only the condition itself but any harm she has already done to herself.

You may and most likely will loose her as a friend for a short time for telling her parents about what she is doing. If you are a "true friend" you will do this so that when she is better and see's that what you did was out of love not hate you will again be friends and even better friends for you will have saved her life.

Don't wait, tell her parents, tell a teacher, the school nurse or call 911 for her but tell someone and save her life.

Additional information: If this is your friend telling you her parents know and don'tknow what to do don't trust her to tell you the truth. If you have spoken to her parents and they have told you this then talk to your parents and ask them to contact the local child protective service office. Do this for your friend, you will be saving her life.

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OK! I am totally freaking out because I came home and the house was quiet and I was being stupid I guess and just walked right into my brothers room without knocking because I didn't think he was home and I wanted to borrow one of these sweatshirts he has that are really comfortable and he was totally jacking off like right there when I opened the door. I slammed the door and ran to my room because that is DISGUSTING. Now I can't even THINK about him without wanting to vomit. What do I do now? Do I confront him? Should I say something about him being a nasty perv? I KNOW HE KNOWS I SAW but he hasn't come out of his room and said anything to me. This is so gross.

I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.

Let me start by saying masturbation is totally normal. Most teenagers masturbate, be they boys or girl, to relieve the sexual tension brought on by the hormonal changes brought on by puberty. You do not say how old you are or if you are a boy or a girl so I will try to stay non-gender specific in what I relate here.

A recent report relates that as many as 90% of the population masturbate. Now this would include adults as well as teenagers and such acts as mutual masturbation, hand jobs, fingering and oral sex. One could define masturbation or mutual masturbation as any sexual activity other than intercourse. Males, especially teenage males, need to relive sexual tension more than females do. Masturbation is a natural way to relive this tension.

Most religions including the Catholic Religion condone masturbation; if this is so why do parents and church elders tell children it is wrong to masturbate? The only reason I can think of is the pleasure received from masturbating leads to wanting the pleasure of actual intercourse. In a sense there is a double standard here. As mutual and some people even use single masturbation as a form of foreplay, adults are telling children that something they do on a regular basis is wrong. Well if it is wrong or sinful for the children, would it not be wrong for the adults.

What my wife and I told our children is that masturbation or mutual masturbation is a safe way to satisfy desire without the chance of anyone getting pregnant. There is nothing dirty or disgusting about masturbation; it is a safe way to satisfy a natural urge. If you do not wish to masturbate that is up to you, you should not think any less about your brother for doing so. In fact you owe your brother an apology for walking into his room without first knocking and for any embarrassment you may have caused him. You may also want to add that he should lock his door the next time he decides he wants to masturbate.

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I want to be skinny really really bad and I read about anorexic. Thats what I want to do now and I didnt even eat anything today. My mom kept asking me why I wouldnt eat dinner. I kept telling her I was full but she didnt buy it and tried to make me eat some peas. How can I hide being anorexic from my parents? Because theyre going to be mad if they find out and theyll do something like force me to eat or something. I want to be skinny like the models and like Mary Kate Olsen was. Really really skinny.

I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.

Anorexia is not a diet; oh you will lose weight along with the electrolytes your body needs to function. Should and it is more like when these electrolytes get too out of balance you can and most likely will die. If I could make it any planer for you I would but that is as plain as it gets. Anorexia, Bulimia and any other eating disorders are not proper diets and only do harm.

A proper diet consists of three well balanced meals a day and two snacks plus proper exercise. There is no short cut to losing weight, like everything else you need to work at it. Unfortunately women do not lose weight as fast as men do, so they have to work harder and longer to lose any weight. There is an old adage that says “Nothing good comes easy”; losing weight is one of those things.

If you truly want to lose weight you should ask your doctor to refer you to a nutritionist who can help you with meal plans and the proper foods you should be eating. Many health food stores have staff nutritionists who can also help you.

Anorexia is not the answer; you will lose weight in so doing you will get deathly ill.

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When I say my friend, I honestly mean my friend. Here's the situation...

Her boss calls her a lesbian. She sets her up in situations that she knows will get her in trouble, she makes her clock out and go across the street to go buy her lunch. She talks about her personal [sex] life all the time. (She's either a total whore or a pathological liar.) She's rude to the customers and she brings her friends into work. (And introduces my friend as a lesbian).

I know she's talked to her boss and it hasn't worked. She's also talked to her boss' boss, and she told my friend to "loosen up!"

I think this whole situation is totally unprofessional and inappropriate. And I really want to help my friend find a way to stop the harassment she's experiencing at work.

Thank you so much for any help you can give.
--Jack

I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.

Normally I agree with Wittyusername here, in this instance I cannot as in many States it is illegal to tape a conversation without the other persons knowledge and approval. I advise against doing so.

Instead your friend should start logging every one of these incidents in a note book, time, date, place of conversation, who was there, who did the talking and anyone who may have been able to overhear the conversation. She of course should make note of what was said in the conversation. She should once again tell her boss that his/her comments are not appreciated and she considers them to be “sexual harassment”, the words sexual harassment must be stated. She then should note in her log the time, date and place when told him/her this. If the harassment continues she then goes again to her bosses boss and again files her complaint in writing, stating that she has told her boss, time, date and place, that she considers his/her comments to be sexual harassment and asked him/her to stop. She should also say that not only have the comments not stopped but they are making for a hostile work environment for her. Here again those exact words of “hostile work environment”, must be used. In the letter to her boss’s boss she should ask that this matter be attended to immediately or, if the company has an HR Department, she will have to take the matter up with the HR Department. If the Company does not have an HR Department then she will have to go to the owner or manger. If she is already dealing with the owner or manager; she again states as I write it, she has no recourse other than to file a claim of sexual harassment and hostile work environment with both the State and Federal EEOC Commissions. It is best to have a lawyer help with this filing.

Hopefully she will not have to go to the EEOC as this can be a long drawn out process; her employer may even fire her for doing so even though it is illegal to do so. The employer stance is they can always come up with enough charges to justify terminating an employee. What employers never learn is if the EEOC finds in the employees favor and the employee is terminated after notification of filing or going to file, the EEOC generally will award the employee back pay on top of any award.

Tell your friend every complaint about her boss from here on out must be in writing and to keep copies for herself. She must also keep that log with times, dates, and places of all conversations with her boss; Even conversations that have nothing to do with harassment but could be used against her in building a case for termination.

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Okay, so my mom just saw me publicly swear in a comment of a picture I was tagged in and now she's all up in my grill because I said the f word on Facebook. Aside from this, it's really annoying how all my family members are friends with me on Facebook. I seriously don't know what to do. I feel like I'm choking. I'm thinking about making a new account and just add family members there, but that'd be too obvious. What's the right thing to do?? Please help! I'd appreciate it bigtime.:(

Jada Lynne is right; it is a poor man/women who cannot get there point across without using curse words. Sure it is fine in a bar; if you are old enough to be there it might even be okay to use them in the privacy of your own home. It is not okay to use them where other people, people you are not talking to, may hear you and you should never write anything down you do not wish others to see or know about.

Facebook is a public square where depending on the settings you have set anyone can read what you have written. Future employers may judge you based on what you say and how they perceive you to be based on what they may see on facebook and other forums like it. Be honest with yourself, would you hire you if you looked at your facebook page.

I have a gentlemen I volunteer with who when speaking every other word out of his mouth is a curse word. He was twice warned of his foul mouth and if he could not express himself in less vulgar manner he would have to leave the organization. He feels that the way he speaks is how real men talk. If he only knew how many of the jobs he didn’t get were because the reference checks to our organization included the fact that he may be a great person and does what is asked of him very well, if only he could speak without cursing every other word. We all consider him a friend; several of us own businesses and he has asked to work for us. I will not hire him; I cannot perpetrate him on my customers. When he asks for a job I tell him I don’t hire friends or extended family.

The closer you get to college age the more you will be judged. I’m sure your mom knows all the curse words and had probably used more than a few herself. She is trying to watch out for you as she knows that whatever you write can and will be used to judge you. Even if it is just facebook, if you are writing something it will last forever in cyberspace. Remember one thing when writing anything, be it on paper or cyberspace; use your best grammar and spelling. Expect that someone other than the person(s) intended can or will see what you have written. That someone will be judging you based on how you write.

Long story short: You want to get into a good college keep the street language where it belongs, in the street away from others who may someday decide your future.

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I was applying to some jobs and this lady at one place was helping me out. She asked me what my social security number was so she could write it down on the application. I told her I didn't know and she told me I really needed to find out and that it's important. What is a social security number and where do I get one? Why is it important and why don't I already have one if it's so important?

Your parents must have your Social Security Card with your Social Security Number onit. They have needed your Social Security number to claim you as a dependent on their income taxes.

You do not need to show the card to any prospective employer but you do need to give them your Sosial Security number. They uses this number when filing their payrole taxes so that your account, which is like a bank account is properly credited with the taxes you pay and the money you earn during your life time.

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I don't know what to do with him! I found out from my bff that my bf made a facebook group thing about our relationshp. I went and red a few things on it and it is personal and nothing anybody should know but us so I told him I knew he had a secret he was keeping from me but not what it was so he would tell me or something but he didn't. i kinda thought that he posted stuff and didn't think it was bad and I wanted to give him chances to say so but he just said he didnt have no secrets so i went back to read the rest and he had made it private only so now it is hidden from me.

I guess what I am asking is if he didn't think this was wrong why did he hide it when i found out? He still denies everything and now i got no proof because i cant see it anymore!!! i have been crying about this and i feel betrayed like he has a secret life on facebook or something! should i stay with him if he isn't going to be honest and still hides things?

Sorry if this is too long!

I am probably not the right person to ask this question of as it has been some 40 years since I have dated. I would suggest you ask this question of xosodapopx3. She is probably closer to your age, which is something you should include in your question, and very well qualified to answer your question.

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My boyfriend REALLY wants to have anal sex with me and I told him he could next time we're alone but I'm so scared it will hurt. He said he heard it hurt a lot for girls to get anal their first time. My friend said butt sex is gross and so we don't talk about it and I can't ask for advice. How can I not be so scared of having anal sex? Will it REALLY hurt? And does it feel good? I don't know anything about it really except I can't get pregnant doing it.

I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.

First and foremost any sex between you and your boyfriend must be consensual between the both of you as well as for the enjoyment of both of you. As to anal sex itself; some women fully enjoy anal sex; it takes time to work up to it though. If you start by just letting him try to shove his dick up your anal cavity you are going to be tense and it is going to hurt. If your boyfriend is overly large and to forceful he can physically harm you. This is not to mean you will never be able to accommodate him if you don’t want to.

Like everything else anal sex is something you have to learn to do and enjoy. Start out by having your boyfriend finger you in your anus with a well lubricated finger. You can and should do the same to him. No it is not gay for him to be annually penetrated. His prostrate can be massaged through anal penetration and when you become skilled at finding and massaging his prostrate you can give him some mind blowing orgasms during intercourse and hand jobs or blowjobs. This will also let him know what you are feeling and hopefully allow him to be mindful when you are ready to take his dick up you anal cavity.

Once you are both comfortable with one finger insert two fingers and then three all well lubricated. You can then move on to small dildos until you can comfortably accept your boyfriend’s dick in your ass. I would suggest you work your way up to a dildo similar in size and shape to your boyfriend’s dick which you can later use in a strap on to fuck his ass with.

Like I said anal sex can be enjoyable for the both of you IF you take the time to learn how to do it right. It is not like losing your vaginal virginity. The anus is not designed to be penetrated in this manner and you have to train it and yourself to do so comfortably. IF YOU DO THIS RIGHT ANAL SEX CAN BE VERY ENJOYABLE BUT ALWAYS REMEMBER TO WEAR CONDOMS AND NEVER GO FROM THE ANUS TO THE VAGINA WITHOUT FIRST VIGOROUSLY AN THOROUGHLY WASHING YOUR BOYFRIENDS DICK AND GROIN AIR AS WELL AS HIS AND YOUR HANDS.

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I am losing my virginity this weekend and I know it's going to hurt a lot. I don't want it to because my boyfriend thinks I've had sex before. I've NEVER been fingered and NEVER masturbated. I never even wore a tampon. It'll really be my first time having sex in any way so it's a big deal for me to not sound like it hurts. My boyfriend already had sex with 4 girls before so he knows what to expect from somebody who isn't a virgin.

My question is what would be the least painful way to lose virginity. Like should he be on top then so he doesn't notice or is there an exercise I can do or what? Is there something I can put on me down there that will numb my vagina?

I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.

I found the following website while answering a very similar question for other young ladies. I believe you should review this website before making any decision about having sex, starting with “Am I ready?”

On the subject of are you ready: all I will say is sexual intercourse is a beautiful thing between two loving responsible people. At your age sex for you as a woman is different than fore the boy. You are more emotionally mature than a partner would at the same age by about 2 years. Sex for a woman most always have a loving relationship, meaning women usually do not hop in and out of bed. Where for a boy of the same age sex is more of a conquest, away to satisfy raging hormones.

The odds are against you marring the boy you give your virginity to, so be selective as to who you chose to be your first. Make sure you find someplace you can have your first sexual experience that is safe, relaxing and that you will be undisturbed. You should be on birth control for at least 30 days and always use a condom.

As someone who is old enough to be your grandparent I should be telling you to wait. I am sure your parents have already given you that advice and it is good advice. It is also hypocritical of most of us as most all of us my age and younger engaged in sex long before we were married. What I will say is there are ways of satisfying the sexual urge without having intercourse. There is masturbation, mutual masturbation, which is generally apart of foreplay, BJ’s and HJ’s. These forms of sex should be adequate for now to satisfy both you and your boyfriend without running the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy. Remember no birth control is 100% effective. End of lecture.

Before you make your decision please review the following website.

http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html.

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OK i need any idea's i'm usually good at this but i have writer's block so i'm stuck.

This isn't for school or anything, I got asked this on a site, so in order to get aproved i have to complete a writing proment about the sun in it's perspective. I have no idea where this goes so i put it in the random weridos.

I just need an idea that's all I can take it from there after. Please and ty

I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.

You could take the environmental approach and talk about how the pollution of the earth’s atmosphere is making it harder for me, the sun to do the job I am meant to do. The one I most like to do. How the earth’s inhabitants destroyed of the ozone layer and are now blaming me for all types of ailment starting with skin cancer.

Put yourself in the suns’ place and talk about how you would feel by all the things we humans are doing to make the suns job harder and blameful as well.

This is a great assignment, I would love to see your answer.

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I got my NY learner's permit a week ago. I'm 16. I've been doing pretty good with driving so far. The other day I was driving down a main street with a licensed adult (my mother) in the car, I was going about 10mph. The person in front of me, like all of the other cars, stopped short, causing me to hit the car in front of me in the rear because I wasn't able to break fast enough. My mom's car got the most damage (only a slightly bent hood and cracked grille)..the car in front of me got minor scratches on the rear of her car. We went to go apologize to the lady, she wasn't too thrilled with us (understandable), but overall wasn't a very kind person..you could just tell. Overall, it was nothing big. I called the cops, and they came...no one was hurt at all. They told me not to worry because "she has no major damages". Of course being the emotional person that I am, I start crying because #1) this was my first car accident, that I caused!, #2) I didnt want to be sewed. #3) it was my mom's new car! :(. And #4)I don't want my mother's insurance rates to go too high; she has State Farm (never had an accident that "she" caused before). The cops were very nice and then we got the car towed away and it's being fixed currently. The insurance won't cover it because my mother doesn't have collission, so I feel bad enough about that! When we called State Farm they said not to worry about it right now because no claim was filed by the other party. Well, just my luck, the lady who I bumped into put in a claim. A very weird one actually. She claimed that when I hit her she hit the car in front of her. Now, I found this weird because on the Police Report it states word for word "ONLY two cars involved" and "the person who was hit had ONLY minor damages to the rear of her car". Nothing on the front of the car! There's no mention whatsoever of a third party. The cops who I talked to didn't even mention it, even the paramedics who showed up told me not to worry because there was no major damage and no one was hurt. So, what the heck?! When we told State Farm that there was no mention of this third car, the guy laughed and said "not surprised" I'm guessing he figures that she may be lying. When the whole accident occurred, she was the only one who was being talked to along with my mom and I. So, why is she doing this? If she's lying, won't she be caught for fraud? There were witnesses around, and the police even recorded on the police report what happend and that only two cars were involved. The lady has State Farm too. So, I guess my major questions are: Has this ever happend to anybody you know or yourself? What do you think about this? Will my mother's rates go up? Will I still be able to get my license in 6 months like New York law says I can, even though I got in a minor accident? And, does this lady have anything to even fight about? She can claim the scratches I guess if she really wanted to but her car has barely any damage at all! and she's claiming she has damage in the front (I was only going 10 mph, so she must have been really close to the car in front of her to get any damage at all..)..meanwhile no one mentioned it to us and, again, the police report even states there were only two cars involved and that she only had rear end damage! Keep in mind, if there really is this "third car", it must have left (so obviously they weren't worried about there damage, if any),or it doesn't exist. It would've been mentioned don't you think? Ughh. Please answer, Thankyou!

I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.

You do not have anything to worry about. You will get your license, accidents happen, that’s why they are called accidents. The police report is your best witness, so while it is understandable, and commendable, that you are upset about this just let the Insurance Company handle this.

What is happening here has been going on for as long as there have been automobiles, Insurance Companies and teenage drivers. If the person you hit is claiming she hit the car in front of her the insurance company is going to want to know who that person is, why they did not include themselves in the police report and most importantly why she did not inform the police at the time of the accident. If the person you hit insists any damage to the front of her car is the result of the accident then they are going to rely on the accident report and any other information they can get from the officer(s) who responded. They will ask if the officer did a full walk around of the other car and if any other damage was noticed. Even though you both have the same insurance company the other driver still has to prove that any damage being claimed is the result of this accident. Insurance companies do not handed out money just because you make a claim.

As for your question about fraud; this is for the insurance company to worry about and prove, not something for you to worry about. The police report is going to be the major witness in the insurance companies investigation and evaluation of the claim as they the police are the unbiased witnesses and are also the trained on scene investigators for information gathering.

I would suggest one thing; Suggest to mom that she have collision added to her policy with a high deductible of say $500 to $1,000. The cost to do this is not much more or possibly the same as her insurance will be once you receive your license and are added to her policy. In the long run the cost of the collision insurance is negligible compared to the cost of repairing or replacing a brand new car.

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We need to find an apartment ASAP and it's not just about going to each one and taking a look. I was wondering if there were websites (just like that one rating doctors) that have people rating their apartments? I live an hour away from Toronto (don't want to reveal my location). My city is big, but not big enough to be posted on the news for weather reports. Thank you!

Not knowing where you live it is going to be hard to answer your question. I live in Maryland not far from Baltimore. If I google Apartments and town or Baltimore it returns listings of apartments available in those areas and surrounding areas. Many of the listing carry comments from renters in the apartments.

Hope this helps

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um me and my bf were having sex for the first time with each other and well he forgot his condom will this get me pregnate and can i use extra birth control to prevent this pregancy?

The Morning After Pill is your best chance at stopping conception at this time. The sooner you use it the better chance of it being effective.

In the future you should be on birth control for at least 30 days and your boyfriend should use a condom even though you are on biirth control.

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ive been begging my parents for years to let me see a counsler but they say ill be fine its gotten to the point where im scared of myslf and i dont wanna live ths way but i dont know what to do any suggestions???
15f

I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.

What bothers me the most are the words “I’m scared of myself”? Without any further explanation of what you mean by that I have to think the worst which is to say you feel you may hurt yourself or others. You say you a have asked your parents to allow you to see a counselor; have you said to your parents that you are afraid of yourself?

Since I am not totally sure of what you mean by I’m scared of myself I am going to give you a couple of websites and hotlines you can call for help. Also remember that if you are thinking of hurting yourself or someone else you can pick up the phone and dial 911 at any time. Tell the call taker what is bothering you or what you are thinking of doing. They will dispatch the appropriate help to wherever you are. Remember also that here in the U S all Fire Stations are safe havens that you can go to for help.

Given that this is back to school time I would suggest asking your parents to arrange for a back to school physical. Have one of your parents go with you to the doctors but ask to see the doctor alone; tell the doctor what is bothering you, including your statement about being scared of yourself. Ask to be screened for teenage depression. Once the doctor completes your physical and depression screening you can ask your parent(s) to join you for a consultation with the doctor. If your doctor feels you need counseling and or additional treatment by another doctor I am sure you parents will follow the doctors directions.

Your parents most likely feel you are going through a growth phase, one that most parents sometime wrongly feel is associated with hormonal imbalance brought on by puberty and something you will grow out of. This is all they know for it is how their parents handled them.

Should for some reason your parent not want to arrange for a physical then I would like you to call one of the following hot lines and check out their websites: 1-800-448-3000 Boys Town http://www.boystown.org/locations. Boys Town is not just for boys, they provide services to the entire family. Their 24/7 hotline is staffed by trained volunteers who will help you find someone locally to help you. 1-800-273-TALK (8255) is the Hot Line is for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. It will connect you to their Crisis center closest to your home. This hot line is also staffed 24/7 by trained volunteers who can help you fined http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/Default.aspx.

First ask your parents to arrange a doctor’s visit for you. Should they choose not to then please call one of the hotline I have recommended. I would suggest the National Suicide Prevention line. Why this one; simply because the operative word here is prevention.

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I am 13, and sexually active. DONT tell me off, becuase its MY life. I do use condoms, and I have only had sex with my current boyfriend, whom i have no intention of breaking up with. We love eachother very much, have a very healthy relationship (my mom agrees!), and sex was a wanted mutual agreement. I would like to tell my mom, because she thinks I tell her everything, but she says she would sign custody of me over to my strict Aunt if I lost my virginity (she would like me to wait until im married!!). She also says that its my life and one way or another, im going to do what I want, i just have to deal with the consequences, one of which being the Aunt issue (technically, thats saying i DONT have a choice). I dont know what I should do, because 1) I feel like I should tell her (but dont think i can) 2) I would like birth control but 3) I dont want to lose my boyfriend... Any advice??

I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.

I agree with much of what wittyusernamehere has written. What was not said although you stated you did not want to hear about it was having sex at your age. Based on what you have written I am going to offer some psychology 101 here.

Think about what you have written; in one line you write that your mom thinks you tell her everything which alludes to the two of you having a close relationship. In another line you write that mom will ship you off to a strict Aunt if she finds you are having sex before marriage. This says she does not trust you, is not well nurturing towards you and has made you fearful of confiding in her. This being said is it possible that you are confusing sex with your boyfriend for the love you are not getting from your mother?

At 13 years old you are really way too young to be having full intercourse. You should be movie dating and group dating. This is not your fault; this is your mothers fault for not setting stricter boundaries. Your body is fully capable of having sex, but neither you nor your body is fully mature enough to understand all the feeling and ramifications of intercourse. It’s complicated and I do not expect you to fully understand what I am saying. By having sex now you are also missing out on some of the best parts of teenage life.

In a sense you are an abused child having to live under the threat of being thrown out of your home to live with a strict Aunt. This is a kin to a boy being told to shape up or it off to a Military school. Talk to the people at the Planned Parenthood center about seeing a councilor who could help you. Talk to your school guidance councilor for help. Most importantly think about why you are engaging in sex. Are you substituting sex for the love and affection you do not see yourself getting at home?

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I've been dating My boyfriend for awhile. We always use condoms when We have sex. Always. I started on birth control pills about like maybe 6 or 7 months ago now. I always take them on time no matter what. I'm not stupid. My boyfriend and I had sex last month like usual. We used a condom every time and everything. Neither of Us thought any of the condoms We had used broke or busted or tore or whatever you call it. We had no cause to think I could get pregnant.

My period was late. I took a pregnancy test and it said + positive for pregnancy. I didn't have sex with anybody else. I read these things don't lie. Is this for real though? I mean, is it really possible to get pregnant when using birth control pills AND condoms? I mean WTF. Should I take another test or see a doctor?

Home tests can give a false positive as well as a false negative. The only true test is a blood test. Go to a clinic or a doctor for a blood test.

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