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My friend is having boss troubles.
When I say my friend, I honestly mean my friend. Here's the situation...
Her boss calls her a lesbian. She sets her up in situations that she knows will get her in trouble, she makes her clock out and go across the street to go buy her lunch. She talks about her personal [sex] life all the time. (She's either a total whore or a pathological liar.) She's rude to the customers and she brings her friends into work. (And introduces my friend as a lesbian).
I know she's talked to her boss and it hasn't worked. She's also talked to her boss' boss, and she told my friend to "loosen up!"
I think this whole situation is totally unprofessional and inappropriate. And I really want to help my friend find a way to stop the harassment she's experiencing at work.
Thank you so much for any help you can give.
--Jack
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships?
I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
Normally I agree with Wittyusername here, in this instance I cannot as in many States it is illegal to tape a conversation without the other persons knowledge and approval. I advise against doing so.
Instead your friend should start logging every one of these incidents in a note book, time, date, place of conversation, who was there, who did the talking and anyone who may have been able to overhear the conversation. She of course should make note of what was said in the conversation. She should once again tell her boss that his/her comments are not appreciated and she considers them to be “sexual harassment”, the words sexual harassment must be stated. She then should note in her log the time, date and place when told him/her this. If the harassment continues she then goes again to her bosses boss and again files her complaint in writing, stating that she has told her boss, time, date and place, that she considers his/her comments to be sexual harassment and asked him/her to stop. She should also say that not only have the comments not stopped but they are making for a hostile work environment for her. Here again those exact words of “hostile work environment”, must be used. In the letter to her boss’s boss she should ask that this matter be attended to immediately or, if the company has an HR Department, she will have to take the matter up with the HR Department. If the Company does not have an HR Department then she will have to go to the owner or manger. If she is already dealing with the owner or manager; she again states as I write it, she has no recourse other than to file a claim of sexual harassment and hostile work environment with both the State and Federal EEOC Commissions. It is best to have a lawyer help with this filing.
Hopefully she will not have to go to the EEOC as this can be a long drawn out process; her employer may even fire her for doing so even though it is illegal to do so. The employer stance is they can always come up with enough charges to justify terminating an employee. What employers never learn is if the EEOC finds in the employees favor and the employee is terminated after notification of filing or going to file, the EEOC generally will award the employee back pay on top of any award.
Tell your friend every complaint about her boss from here on out must be in writing and to keep copies for herself. She must also keep that log with times, dates, and places of all conversations with her boss; Even conversations that have nothing to do with harassment but could be used against her in building a case for termination.
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The person below me has an excellent idea. Your friend can also contact the company headquarters because what her boss is doing is sexual harassment. But she might need some kind of proof being that the boss is the boss and your friend is just an employee. If she does contact the company headquarters, she needs to tell them that she likes her job and wants to continue working there but simply cannot work with the boss treating her the way she does and something needs to be done. She needs to tell them that she tried talking to the boss and the boss's boss but that didnt help and if no action is taking she will be forced to file a sexual harassment suit. If your friend is under 18, she should probably have a parent call. Either way, whoever calls needs to be firm. No one should have to work under these conditions. Hope I helped and I wish your friend the best of luck!
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:Edit:
I forget about state differences. In Texas it's perfectly legal to tape a conversation so long as one party is aware it's being recorded. It's just also legal for your employer to fire you for taping them cause of the whole "at will" thing.
Check your state. Might be legal, might not.
:/edit:
Go out, buy a small recorder. Have your friend wear it for a week or two, to build up a background bunch of crap from as many people as possible.
Then have her confront her boss politely about it. When the boss is an ass, take it up to the bosses boss, just like you've already done. If one of them starts doing something offensive or ridiculous, have her try to get them to talk about it.
Get every bit on tape. Take those tapes to a law firm and see if you've got a case for hostile work environment, harassment, etc.
If not, put in a call to the highest person you can find, preferably in human resources, and get them copies of the recordings.
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