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I'm scared of anal for the first time
My boyfriend REALLY wants to have anal sex with me and I told him he could next time we're alone but I'm so scared it will hurt. He said he heard it hurt a lot for girls to get anal their first time. My friend said butt sex is gross and so we don't talk about it and I can't ask for advice. How can I not be so scared of having anal sex? Will it REALLY hurt? And does it feel good? I don't know anything about it really except I can't get pregnant doing it.
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To each his (or her) own, but I have to say....EXIT ONLY!
If you do decide to participate, make sure you use a condom and to not go from anal sex to vaginal sex without disposing of that condom and having your boyfriend wash well.
The anus is full of bacteria and you should not transfer anything from that area to the vagina. Having sex in the anus often results in anal tears, which allows bacteria to enter the body, increasing your risk of health problems.
Only you can decide this... but here's something for you to ponder on while making up your own mind.
Your boyfriend has heard that it hurts a lot for the receiving party in reference to having anal sex, and yet he still wants you to try it. What does that say about how he really feels about you?
I believe you should tell him this... here's the deal big boy. I'll pick up a nice vibrator and some lube and we'll try it on YOU first. If you love it... I'll try it.
My guess is...that'll shut him up lol...
You do what you want but ONLY if you are wanting to and are comfortable with it.
Just be very careful and safe about whatever you decide.
Best wishes,
Jada
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Anal sex is not something everybody does. For those that love it, they know how to do it properly, and they work up to it slowly and it involves a lot of trust. But you don't need to feel like you have to do it.
Honestly, so long as you're scared, I wouldn't do it. Fear makes people tighten their muscles up. Tightness will cause pain, no matter how much lube you use.
I would suggest talking to him about your fears openly and honestly. Ask him questions. Share your ideas. This can't be something you both go into without adequate conversation.
If he gets mad that you want to wait and hold back till your comfortable, dump his ass, because YOUR ass belongs to you, not him, and you get to make 100% of all decisions involving it.
If he's a good guy, he'll be patient, understanding, won't pressure you and will be more than happy to talk it over and wait until you're ready. And if you never get ready, that's fine too. Nowhere is it written that a woman must accept things in her anus. I wonder if you boyfriend would be comfortable with something going into his.
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I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you may have received and may continue to receive from others.
First and foremost any sex between you and your boyfriend must be consensual between the both of you as well as for the enjoyment of both of you. As to anal sex itself; some women fully enjoy anal sex; it takes time to work up to it though. If you start by just letting him try to shove his dick up your anal cavity you are going to be tense and it is going to hurt. If your boyfriend is overly large and to forceful he can physically harm you. This is not to mean you will never be able to accommodate him if you don’t want to.
Like everything else anal sex is something you have to learn to do and enjoy. Start out by having your boyfriend finger you in your anus with a well lubricated finger. You can and should do the same to him. No it is not gay for him to be annually penetrated. His prostrate can be massaged through anal penetration and when you become skilled at finding and massaging his prostrate you can give him some mind blowing orgasms during intercourse and hand jobs or blowjobs. This will also let him know what you are feeling and hopefully allow him to be mindful when you are ready to take his dick up you anal cavity.
Once you are both comfortable with one finger insert two fingers and then three all well lubricated. You can then move on to small dildos until you can comfortably accept your boyfriend’s dick in your ass. I would suggest you work your way up to a dildo similar in size and shape to your boyfriend’s dick which you can later use in a strap on to fuck his ass with.
Like I said anal sex can be enjoyable for the both of you IF you take the time to learn how to do it right. It is not like losing your vaginal virginity. The anus is not designed to be penetrated in this manner and you have to train it and yourself to do so comfortably. IF YOU DO THIS RIGHT ANAL SEX CAN BE VERY ENJOYABLE BUT ALWAYS REMEMBER TO WEAR CONDOMS AND NEVER GO FROM THE ANUS TO THE VAGINA WITHOUT FIRST VIGOROUSLY AN THOROUGHLY WASHING YOUR BOYFRIENDS DICK AND GROIN AIR AS WELL AS HIS AND YOUR HANDS.
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If you plan on having anal for the first time make sure you use extra lube like ky jelly and take it slow .it could hurt a little bit but can fell good at the same time .usualy a woman will masterbate while the guy is giving anal because it increases the sensativity and makes it more plesurable for her .and always make sure that you are in control if its too much for you to handle then its time to quit .its like being a vergin and having intecourse for the first time hope this helps
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It does hurt, and you shouldn't expect to be able to manage it the very first time you try.
Think of how many times you probably got fingered, played with and had oral before you tried having vaginal sex. Most people build up to vaginal sex, and you have to take the same slow build up to anal.
So please, don't think "Oh we'll just have anal sex." For most people, it takes some time to work up to having straight anal sex and learning about that part of their body.
If you want to do this, your boyfriend must be dedicated to helping you gently warm up to it, you must have proper store bought lube, and you should read some serious advice.
You can google, anal sex advice for women and you'll come up with a lot. Keep your eyes open for advice by a woman named Tristan. She is a the queen of anal sex advice.
In the end though, if you don't want to do this, or aren't ready, you should speak up and tell him know. There really is a risk of hurting very bad, especially if your male partner doesn't know what he is doing, or worse, doesn't know he must know what he is doing.
Anal sex shouldn't be expected, especially in a less experienced sexual relationship, so if you aren't comfortable reading about it, talking about it, or doing it, please say tell your boyfriend so.
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it will definitely hurt you your first time, very much so. my boyfriend and i were having drunk sex once and it slipped into the wrong hole. only the tip went in, but excruciating pain took over my entire back and legs. i couldn't finish the sex, and i couldn't move or walk for about 5 minutes, and that was just from the tip.
no, it will probably never feel good for you. the only reason it feels good for boys is because its a very very very tight space (and the tighter, the better) and their gspot is actually located in their prostate. since your gspot isn't located there, i doubt you'll get any pleasure out of it.
all i can say is try to "loosen up" a little bit, i'm not going to explain how to do that because i'll get booted, but use your imagination.
anal sex is gross to almost everybody except gays and pornstars, so be sure to tell your boyfriend that if you DO NOT like it he MUST stop IMMEDIATELY. if he cares about you, he won't enjoy seeing you in pain. and you will be.
have fun, i guess? and take care.
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