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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
Will it be good for me to be in a foster home? because she is putting me in the city of ORLANDO , which is where i was raised in since i was 8 and i know most of the people there and my mom doesnt want me anymore i need advice =(
I'm sorry that your mom is abandoning you, for that purpose and that purpose only foster care may be better for you then what you presently have.
Being put in foster care may not be as easy as you mother may think. Child services, which run the foster care program, are first going to try and place you with a relative regardless of where that relative may be. Is there an Aunt, Uncle or Grandparent you would prefer to live with. If so be prepared to tell the social worker where to find them or how to contact them. Of course if you father is a live and you know where he is social services would want to contact him first.
Foster care can be very good with the right foster parents. Make sure you know how to contact your social worker. Make sure you know what is expected of you and your foster parents. Live up to what is expected of you. Many children have grown up in foster care and gone on to lead very successful lives. Like everything else in life you will get out of foster car what you put into it.
Once again I'm sorry your mother feels the need to abandon you, you will probably be better off in foster care.
I am in my first year of college and I live in a dorm with many other students so naturally bacteria and infections run amok.
In August, I caught a cold. It went away within a week or so. No problem.
In October, I got sick again, only this time, I was coughing up some nasty phlegm. I waited and battled with it, don't think I ever had a fever, for weeks. I got better slowly with a lot of sleep and cough medicine, but in November it came back (I'm guessing it never really left?). In November, my mother decided that since I had been sick for a long time I should take some antibiotics so she sent me some that she said would help me. Within 3 days of taking them I was completely better. I felt great. A week or so later I started noticing that I still had a little phlegm in my throat but it did not bother me at all I thought it was just remainder of what I had and it would go away. Now I am home on break (three weeks later) and two days ago my throat started KILLING me with pain. It hurt really bad, I took a Tylenol and stayed put for a bit, and it went away I carried on my usual business. I also started coughing and feeling sick randomly but it would go in and out. Just the pain in my throat is what hurts really bad sometimes. I'm also noticing the phlegm in my throat, not a lot, but enough.
Now my question is, will the antibiotic Ampicillin TR cure whatever bacterial (because I'm guessing this must be bacterial) infection I have? Can I take Ampicillin? Because my mother wants me to take it but I don't want it to be the wrong thing or to make the bacteria stronger or immune to antibiotics, I'm afraid that's what it did the first time I took it in November, but that wasn't Ampicillin it was some other form of it my mom says.
*Oh and just as a side note, we are not from the US originally and have several prescription medications for different symptoms from back home where you can buy them at a pharmacy legally without prescription. My mother always buys when she visits and brings it over (legally of course)
You should never take medication not perscribed for you by your doctor. in this country it is illegal to take medication dispensed without prescription even from your mother. The medication your mother bought back home haves been legal, i am not so sure it was legal to bring it into this country.
You need to see a doctor and be properly diagnosed and prescribed for.
My whole life I've lived under my mom. I haven't made barely any decisions on my own. I just finished my first semester of my freshman year in college at a university close to my home because my mom is forcing me to live with her. I'm absolutely in LOVE with this school down in Florida (I live in New York) and she refuses to let me go. All of my friends left and I feel like I'm the only one left, I feel like I'm not even in college and I'm not getting the experience either. This school is exactly what I'm looking for and she just doesn't understand. She won't let me grow up. I'm 19 years old. I've tried sitting her down and talking to her but she just gets up and walks away or starts screaming at me and is just so rude. She won't even listen. I really don't want to miss out, you only go to college once. What should I do?
I agree 100% with what Jamiel has written.
I will add only this. If you mother is paying for your education she may only be able to afford the lower in state tuition that the school you are attending offers.
The only thing you are missing out on is the party or social side of college. You are getting the educational benefits of college regardless of which school you attend. Should I be correct that mom is footing the bill for your eduction and you truly want to attend the other school then you need to make some choices.
Do you want to graduate college with a loan larger than some mortgages. That means spending the first 10 to 15 years of your career paying of student loans.
If you can accept that fact then instead of arguing with your mother, talk to her. Find out if I am correct in that the school you are attending is all she can afford. She may want to save you from graduating with the debt she and your father may have. Your college debt will weigh heavily against everything in your life until it is paid off, from car loans to the purchase of a house. You need to have a balance in your debt to earnings and asset ratio to qualify for loans. The larger your school loans are the more income you will need to qualify for other loans.
I may very well be wrong in my assumption, but mom may not be trying to ruin your life, she just may be trying to save you from mistakes she made when she was your age. So talk, not scream at mom. See just what mom may be trying to do for you that you may just be unwilling to hear.
Have a Happy New Year.
I screwed up big time. I did something that I know was wrong. I know I have lost the respect of someone who I care about. I've lost all their trust and I know they don't think highly of me like before. I'm torn to peices about this. I can't sleep or think straight. Please Help... I don't know what I can ever do. I know this is very vague but... I just.. I don't have a clue how to fix this.
Regaining someones respect and trust is probably the hardest thing you will ever do. Most importantly it is also the most worth while thing you will ever do.
You start by apologizing to this person and admitting whatever you did was wrong and stupid on your part. If there is any logical reason for what your did, say your were lured in to it, as in an affair, and you were just weak, then do so. You then tell this person you will do whatever it takes to earn their trust and respect back, then do it.
It is possible, depending on what has transpired that the situation is beyond repair. If we are talking about a parent remember one thing. You may have lost their trust and even their respect. But you will never ever lose a parents love.
This is the best I can do with what you have provided.
Good luck.
so lately im not sure why but ive been sexually frustrated like crazy! every night i get the feeling that i need to masturbate. but it doesnt feel as good as sex. im not willing to have sex with just anyone. and im too embarassed to go buy some sex toys. so i dont know what to do. please help! thanks!
It would help in answering your question if you had included your age.
In general, for a person of any age, masturbation is a good alternative to just jumping in bed with just anyone. If you're old enough to have sex then you know masturbation is part of foreplay, we just call it by other names; handjobs, fingering and so on.
As to sex toys: Her again these are nothing to be embarrassed about. If you are old enough to legally purchase them then go ahead and do so. Don't want to be seen going into a sex shop then order them over the web. Don't have a credit card; buy a pre-paid credit card to use. Whatever you purchase will be shipped to you in a plain wrapped package. Not even the service delivering will know what is inside.
I am probably old enough to be you grandfather and I give advice on this sight to tell it like it is. To tell things like parents may not. Sex is a beautiful thing between two consenting adults. It is not a sport to see how many partners you can bed. Frankly even at your age and being male I never saw the joy in running from bed to bed as some of my friends did. That is not love that is lust, which is what most young me get confused with.
It make not difference if you are male or female, if you cannot make love in a safe and comfortable place it is better not to make love at all as you cannot possibly enjoy something that is meant for enjoyment and beauty. To relieve the frustration masturbation is therefore the next best thing as you can arrange for safety and comfort to enjoy yourself, and if toys are needed, buy them. There is nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to sex, just as long as both or all parties are consenting.
By the way most religions, including the Catholic religion, approve of masturbation in case you were wondering.
Hello I am a 23 year old female. I have always had a difficult relationship with my mother that stems beyond the typical "curfew arguments, money for a prom limo ect..." My mother has the mind of both an adult and a child. When she was 10 she was forced to sell her belongings and move to a third world country, and she has never gotten over it. She has since spent the rest of her life trying to "gain back" everything she had to give away and more. She is obsessed with shopping at antique stores for toys that remind her of her childhood. She acts like a spoiled brat- throwing a fit if she does not have the most gifts under the Christmas tree. She spends all of her money on herself to fund her erratic shopping problem and even admits to giving gifts that she knows the reciever will not like (and instead buys things SHE wants) so she can "take the un-wanted gift off their hands." My mom is the most selfish person you will ever meet. She is terribly mean and condesending to my father (who works really hard teaching 8th graders just to have my mom spend all his money away.) My mother is truly a small, spoiled bratty child in her mind. She talks in baby-talk, she is never considerate of others as long as she comes out on top. Sometimes she is okay and seems to be able to have a decent conversation. Other times she is angry and scowling and irritated by everything and everyone and does not make sense when she talks. She slurrs her words like she is drunk. She does not have a drinking problem to my knowledge but she has had back surgery and takes painkillers like a pro (she has been hooked on them for 10 years) Also- she has had multiple affairs on my father (one with a 15 year old boy) and will never admit she was wrong. Her and I never got along and I moved away as soon as I turned 18. But now that I am older I am genuinly concerned and curious. What do you all think is the reason behind her erratic and hurtful behavior?
From what you have written, and I am in no way a professional, your mother has some of the signs of some one with manic depression. This is a wild ass guess on my part as I am going only on what you have said and my limited knowledge of depression.
I also find it worry some that she occasionally slurs her speech. She could be overdosing on her pain med, quite possible considering how long she has been on them; or it is symptomatic of other problems.
My advice is to speak with your mothers family doctor. Make the doctor aware of your concerns and ask if your mother can be referred to a psychiatrist and Neurosurgeon for full examinations. It would be best if your mothers doctors could find a reason to check her into a hospital for a few days then your mother would have no excuse not to be examined.
As to the back pain your mother suffers. This is something I can relate to as I suffer from chronic back pain as a result of an auto accident. There are Pain Centers that specialize in the treatment of all types of pain with out the use of Narcotic pain killers.I found the best pain centers is the one I use which is apart of teaching hospital. If you have a teaching hospital near you I would suggest you inquire if they have a pain center. They will both work to relieve moms pain and assist in weaning her off the narcotic meds.
The one thing that stands out to me is that your mom is in trouble and needs help. The problem for you will be getting her to accept help. Depression is a disease that requires a person to realize they are in trouble and ask for help before they accept help.
You are a good daughter for wanting to help your mother. I urge you to continue to try but bear in mind that you could also injure your own mental health in doing so. This is definitely a case of leafing a horse to water but not being able to force the horse to drink. In other words there may come a point where for your own best interest that you may have to say,I did my best and walk away.
Good luck & Happy New Year.
I am recently engaged, and also completely lost. Not in the planning, i am in control of all that. My husband to be's mother is more or less a nightmare. Unfortunately she found out about the engagement on facebook after we held the news from most of our friends and family for 2 days, because she and her boyfriend were too "busy" to call us back or pick up a phone. Let alone she may be his mother but is never really around, she lives in Indiana and i in NY. I feel like i should include her in the day, but how do i deal with her when she gives advice besides saying thanks thats a good idea, i'll write it down. Do i invite her boyfriend? or do i sit her with her ex husband and his girlfriend? His parents are not so much into the wedding that we have the idea for. I do not want an over the top wedding, but unlike his family, i also do not want a country hick wedding. HELP!!!! i need serious ideas.
Congratulations on your engagement.
Mothers and Mother in-laws to be can be very trying when it comes to weddings. My mother almost cost me my marriage be for it started. My wife and I wanted a very simple wedding. The fact we were working for an airline, our ideal wedding was to fly of to Las Vegas to get married. My mother pitched a fit. I say this to show you I know what you are facing.
Unless you future husband feels otherwise your future in-laws and their significant others should be invited to the wedding. At the reception they should probably be seated at different tables with members of their own family.
IF you and your future husband are paying for the wedding then you get to make all the choices and have the wedding you want. It is at this point where I recommend you hire a wedding planner, if affordable. When receiving advise from anyone you can then say I will discuss it with our wedding planner thus making the wedding planner the ogre and not you. This leaves you relaxed and able to enjoy your wedding.
No matter what you decide to do in regards to a wedding planner; this is your wedding, your paying for it, you get to make all the choices. If your future mother in-law doesn't like the choices you and your future husband make she has the option of staying home or attending.
This is going to be one of the biggest days in your married lives, second only to the birth of your children. Make sure you have the wedding of your dreams.
Does guys prefer hot sexy girls or cute girls? What about clumsy girls? Smart or stupid? Any additional information can be added :)) Also what kind of girls do you think is hot and what kind is cute?
There was a time when guys all wanted the stereotype dumb blond with a big chest. I don't think that is the case today. Today guys, older than the teenage adolescent who is only looking for sex, wants a women who is is intellectual equal. Someone who has something between her ears other than air.
Looks are secondary as long as she keeps herself well and in shape. We all have faults and if being clumsy is your fault the right guy will over look this. When it comes to sexy every guy has his own idea of sexy. There is the trashy almost streetwalker sexy and then there is the elegant sexy. Elegant sexy is where you dress as nice as you can, wear the right amount of make-up and fix your hair properly. Most guy, again those post puberty like elegant sexy.
To me cute and beauty are synonymous as they fall in to the eye of the beholder. One does not have to be a raving beauty if you take the time to get to know the person. The real person lies beneath the skin and that is where beauty and cute lie.
I put in a tampon on the last day of my period and kind of forgot about it. I know, I know. Weird. Anyway, I didn't really mess with myself down there and so I ended up wearing a tampon for 2 days straight. Last night, when the tampon was still inside me, I started to not feel good. Today I ended up starting the flu virus and been throwing up, running a fever, etc. So, I was thinking...if you leave a tampon in too long then it obviously can make you get things like flus. And people have been known to die of the flu. So, can you actually die from leaving a tampon in too long?
PS I did take the tampon out like an hour ago when I realized it.
Please follow CIAO77's advice immediately. Toxic Shock is a serious life threatening illness that befalls otherwise healthy women who do not change their Tampons when they should.
You need to call your doctor or visit an emergency room or urgent care facility immediately, even if you do not have any symptoms and are feeling fine. Also change your tampon if you have not already done so.
Several years ago their was a nationwide, almost epidemic, outbreak of toxic shock that killed many young women. The cause was traced to prolonged application of extra strength tampons. Manufactures changed their recommendations on how long these Tampons could be used before changing them because of this finding.
Do not wait, call your doctor or go to the hospital emergency room.
I got married 3 years ago. My wife and agreed not to share our past sexual history so that it didn't get in the way of our passion for each other. Two weeks ago I walked into the room while she was on the phone with her friend. I gathered from the conversation that they were discussing sex, which is no big deal. She threw out the number "39" once and I just ignored the whole thing. The next day we got into a heated discussion over her friend (who I think is bad news to hang around with all of the time since she has a habit of sleeping around and cheating on boyfriends; I just don't want my wife associated with a person like that) and my wife told me she's already slept with 39 men and "about" 10 women so she knows what she's "missing." (WHAT SHE SAID!)
I know the past is the past but it kind of bothers me because I had no idea she had such a long sexual history. We're both 25. It's just very surprising because she doesn't even SEEM like the type of person to sleep around so much.
I love her and she loves me. How can I just get over this old-news and move forward with our relationship? When I get to thinking about how many people have had my wife I get incredibly turned off and I'm afraid this sort of thing might happen in the bedroom while we're in a heated moment.
So, how do I move forward from it?
First I agree with Matt; marriage counselling with a good professional counselor to help you navigate this tricky road is what is needed. Second: I picked up on the fact that you did not mention the number of women you have had prior to marriage. to me this is a significant omission as it leaves open the realm of the old double standard; "It is okay for me to have as many women as I want before marriage as long as my comes to our marriage bed as pure as the driven snow."
I'm not going to comment on the number of men and women your wife has slept with; that is something to workout with the marriage counselor. What I will say is if you love each other you should leave the past in the past as the day you married you both started a new life on which to build a new history on together.
We all have pasts, some of us would like to put our pasts on display for others to see and some of us would prefer to leave our pasts where they belong; in the past. I would suggest for the purpose of your marriage you put your pasts where they belong, in the past, and build a new history together.
I know this is a little TMI for some people but surely there is somebody out there who doesn't get offended by natural bodily functions.
I started to have some cramping 4 days ago when I woke up from sleeping. The cramping felt like mild period cramping. For note, I get diarrhea on my period every month. So, when I went and had diarrhea that morning I thought I must be starting my period more than a week early (been under A LOT of stress). No period has come, by the way (but I'm not late).
The mild cramping subsided and for the next 4 days I proceeded to expel everything possible from my body through my butt. I didn't feel like a CONSTANT need to go poo, but, rather, it would come suddenly with intestinal cramping until I relieved myself.
So, it's been four days now and it seems like there's no end in sight. I've been drinking a lot of water and Powerade. I've been doing the BRAT (Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, Toast) diet to try to keep things inside. I'm thinking of going on and switching to the CRAM (Cereal, Rice, Apple sauce, and Milk) diet since I read it is more healthy for the body during this sort of thing.
My stomach itself doesn't feel upset. I'm not in pain. The bowel cramping only happens when I NEED to go suddenly. I don't FEEL sick. I have no vomiting and no fever. I haven't eaten anything out the norm that would make me think food poisoning (and I haven't eaten meat so nothing like that could have been undercooked).
So, should I see a doctor? If not yet, then when would it be most appropriate to see a doctor about sudden onset of unexplained diarrhea?
Yes, for several reasons. Diarrhea going on for this long can cause other problems such as dehydration and other electrolyte imbalances. The cause for this could be anything from not so simple food poisoning to a virus or infection.
Both of the diets you wrote about are good but if the diarrhea has continues unabated you need to see a doctor. Since today is Sunday I would suggest you consider going to a hospital Emergency Room or a walk-in Clinic or urgent care facility.
Should I send in an application to a job that I'm REALLY interested in but think I'm underqualified for? I found this particular job that I think sounds AWESOME. I told my mom about it and she said I should apply anyway because most jobs will train you how to do something before having you work for them. I don't want to look like an idiot applying for a job that I have no qualifications for or experience in though. What do you think?
There is no harm in trying. Us humans always under value ourselves, I know I have never seen in myself what my employers see or saw in me as I worked my way up to the positions I have wanted.
If I could make a suggestion: which would be to attach a cover letter to your application. Keep it short and to the point. The point being that you are interested in this position, that you bring with you little knowledge but a great deal of interest. enthusiasm and the ability to learn on the job. You might even use the wording I just supplied if it fits your personality.
In the second paragraph tell them a little about yourself, where you want to be in 5 and ten years from now as it applies to this position. Hopefully this will set you apart from some of the other candidates applying for this job. This will also tell them that you are a planner and have goals in life, something that is very important to today's employer. If they are going to take the time to train you they want to get something back for their investment.
In the last paragraph you need only a couple of lines. You thank them for their time in and tell them you look forward to meeting them.
Make sure your letter is grammatically correct, has no typo's or spelling errors. This is very important. Then as I said attach your letter to your application, by attach I mean staple so it does not become separated when the human resource person puts your application in a pile with the.
others.
Today's employers are looking for people that stand out, not stand out people. I once had a position where it was important people read my offer and remembered me when i called; so I attached a crisp new one dollar bill to the letter. When I called I would usually get the persons secretary, once I mentioned that my letter had a unique calling card printed by the U. S. Government on it. The secretary would usually put me through to who I wanted to talk to. This is what I mean by standing out, being unique when you approach something. Do not attach a dollar bill to your application as it will send the wrong message.
Good luck
I've been okay lately. I have been taking birth control for a while now and i do not think i'm pregnant.
my pee is clear, and once every two days it is yellow and only SLIGHTLY cloudy. (it is not near as cloudy as it was a year ago when i had my bladder infection)
whenever i laugh or sit a certain way. or scream or sneeze, (for the past week and a half) .. i have been feeling recurring pressure and slight pain (that feel a little like cramps) right where the two of my ovaries are and a little in the middle of them.
it only slightly burns when i pee like a bladder infection but not nearly as painful.
i dont even remember having the two ovaries hurt though whenever i used to have my bladder infection.
this seems like a new thing.
it's not an std because ive been with this one guy who is certainly faithful. so please don't even mention those.
thank you!
None of us on this website are doctors and cannot or should not be making or offering medical advice. We are not qualified to do so. Only your family doctor is qualified , or any doctor for that matter, to make a diagnoses.
You are old enough that you can have a private consultation with your doctor and anything you tell him or you are treated for must remain confidential between you and your doctor, THAT IS THE LAW. Your parents cannot be told unless you have given the doctor written permission to do so. Without that permission the doctor can lose his/her license to practice be fined $5,000 and spend 10 years in Jail.
This law is called HIPA, Health Information Privacy Act. This law covers anyone that has any medical dealings with you which would include, Paramedic, EMT, Nurses and different Technicians. As a fire department first responder I cannot even tell a patient loved ones what hospital they have been taken to unless the patient has given consent and the hospital cannot say if a patient is their without the patients consent.
So when you have a problem like this, and even though you may be using your parents insurance, they have no right to know what the problem is. So go see a doctor. Asking people like us for medical advice is like asking a blind person what color your shirt is.
I spent Thanksgiving alone, eating leftover spaghetti. I'm spending Christmas alone. I plan to spend New Year's alone. Both of my parents have passed away (car accident when I was 18) and I grew up as the only child. I don't have a lot of friends and I live by myself. I'm not really into big parties or clubs, but I feel bad when everybody talks about how great their Christmas (or whatever holiday) was and how they spent with with their family/friends and ate delicious foods.
What can I do on the holidays so that when somebody asks me at work about them it doesn't sound so dull and boring? All I ever say is, "Oh, it was fine. I spent the day alone and just relaxed," but everybody always makes a sad face and I know they feel sorry for me then. I wish I had something more to say so I could say something like, "...it was really fun!" or something. :\
So, any ideas for things I can start doing on the holidays so my life isn't so lifeless? I'm not really very social so it's not like I can somehow get invited to a special party, and I don't have family to get together and celebrate with. How can I change things so I don't have to be so embarrassed when people ask?
26/f
It appears a little grandfatherly advice is in order. Since I fit that description I will attempt to give you some.
Spending time alone on Holidays, especially Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter, which are generally family holidays really hurts. Problem is that no one but you can correct it. You have to step outside your comfort zone a bit if you truly wish to change things. How do you do this.
To start with make a list of what you interests are. What do you like to do. Do you like to go hiking, camping. Do you like to cook, are you in to art & crafts. List everything you like to do then research clubs in your area for singles that have similar interests. This is how you meet people and make friends by finding people who have similar interests. When you have similar interest you have a common ground from which to build on, unlike the bar scene where there is no common ground unless all your looking for is a quick night of sex, which does not sound like you.
There is also you Church or Temple. Most have something fr young people. There is also the local parks and recreation department which may sponsor events for young adults.
A small effort on your part to find an activity or group that you have a strong interest in will provide a great return, as long as you don't spend your time sitting in the corner. Mingle, introduce yourself. Try this, Hi, I'm Mindy, this is my first time here can you tell me a little about what goes on. This works well with men and women. Look for someone that appears active in the activity or club you are visiting for the firs time. These people generally love to help newcomers get acclimated into there activity.
I can guarantee if you take my advice your days of being alone are domed to the recycle bin of life.
My husband and I are from another country.We have a 2 year old daughter.He is very good to her.When she was 4 months old ,we went to his house for a week long stay.His parents,especially his mom tried to harm her physically.As I was extremely vigilant,she could'nt do anything,but still was vocal about her wishes.She said that she wanted to burn her fingers,put hard solid foods like pickles,guavas and insert them into her throat with her fingers,took her to an angry dog of a neighbor and asked the neighbor to free the dog from its leash.I kept my baby in my arms and told the neighbors not to do it.She wanted to scare her in a variety of other forms.Also when baby rolled up her legs, she put her legs down saying that she was immodest ,though baby was wearing diaper and shorts.She suggested tying up baby with a rope.Also,she told mu husband that the baby is very ugly though many people in the USA call her pretty.After that we did not go there for a stay.We did visit her and she was the same.Now my husband wants to stay there for a night with our 2 year old.He gets angry when I try to reason out with him.WHAT SHOULD I DO?should I go with the stay or not?
PLEASE ADVICE
I have read and heard about some strange cultural customs but this does not come close to fitting any of what I have ever seen or heard of. Keep your daughter away from this women at all costs.
I understand your husband wanting to visit his mother, after all she is his mother. You too are a mother as such your primary and over riding responsibility is to the safety of your child. I find it hard to believe your husband would endanger his child in this manner.
Tell your husband that you will not endanger your child by visiting his mother. You understand his need or desire to visit her and will not refuse him doing so. You will refuse to allow your daughter to visit and will stay at home with her when he feels the need to visit his mother.
If your husband asks why, which he probably will, we men have short memories, tell him you fear for your daughters safety around her mother and this is the only way you have of making sure your daughter is safe until she is old enough to defend herself.
Hey! I'm a fifteen year old sophomore girl. When I was in eighth grade I was at a friends house with a few people. At one point I went into the basement to get a soda and this guy followed me. He pressed me against a wall and covered my mouth and started grinding against me and kissing my neck. I've always been small and I couldn't push him off. He fingered me and told me to give him head but someone called down the stairs and he let me go. I didn't tell anyone... And I kind of just forgot about it. Freshman year I started dating this guy for about five months when he raped me. He apologized once and i just started crying. All he said was "its okay"and that's the only time we talked about it... We kept on dating for another three months and then broke up. Again. I never told anyone. Until recently.The guy I'm dating now I've been dating for six months an he's a junior, 17. We've been friends for years. Hes the best guy I know... And I've always loved him. I told him about those two stories ltonight. He really angry and I don't know why. All he said was "why didn't you tell someone?? Why didn't you tell me??" and he stormed out and drove away. I don't know what to do. I mean I understand kind of... I regret not telling anyone but I can't do anything about it now.. Im scared he hates me and I have no explanation for him... What do I do?? He won't answer his phone.
I'm going to take a different approach to your question.
Most states have a five year statute of limitation on rape. This means you can still report the rape if I am reading the correctly. I am going to ask you to do two things and I will explain why. First: I would like you to contact a group called RAINN, Which stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network. They have a 24/7 365 telephone hotline 1-800-656-HOPE. They also operate and online hotline. I think talking to one of their telephone counselors is best. Second: After speaking with the people at RAINN and TELLING THEM what happened, all the details, you need to take their advice and talk with your parents.
Why am I suggesting you do this? For one thing you are saying that you have forgotten about the rape, but you have not. Rape is a trauma perpetrated on you. No matter how far you bury it in your subconscious it will come back to haunt you when you least expect. Think about what just happened. Then think about years from now being in bed with your husband making love. You've never told your husband, but all it takes to bring back a memory is a certain smell, a touch or even a word and this happens during your love making and you freak out. How do you know explain this to your husband. Can this happen, yes. Will it happen, it has to others who have tried to deal with it by suppressing it. This is why you need to talk to people like RAINN and let them help you find a professional in your area to help you deal with what happened properly.
Why do you need to tell your parents? One reason is they really need to know so they can be helpful in dealing with this. Second they will need to help you with reporting this to law enforcement. This is going to come down to your word against his since you did not report it right away. All the evidence is gone. Fact is though is that if he raped you he has probably raped others and will rape again as long as he can get away with it. By reporting it to the police they can investigate and talk with other girls he has dated. If a pattern is seen he will be arrested.
You didn't say why you didn't report it and why you continued to date him. From what you wrote sounds like a typical abuser. He abuses and then apologizes, I'm sure he has done this to others as I said he fits the pattern of an abuser.
He is also guilty of false imprisonment when he held you against the wall and did not let you go. He behavior need to be changed. He needs a wake up call and the only way to do that is to report him to law enforcement. Please do this not just for yourself but for those that follow you.
i don't know what i'm allergic to because i am having bad reactions such as redness, dryness, on facial areas and i just know for sure its allergies. so i'm going to get an allergy test. Though I'm getting a skin test? What does that mean? What will they do the Docs.? In the mornish-day it's the worst and I'm wondering if i have a severe case of dust mites? i know its not food, pets, chemicals? Any ideas of what it is? And don't forget to answer the questions above. Thank You.
Allergies can be strange and hard to diagnose at times. They also appear at different ages. Some allergies manifest themselves at or after puberty when the body starts secreting new hormones. The skin test is the very best first step. Hopefully you are seeing an allergist, and it sounds like you are.
The skin test is nothing to be concerned about. Usually the skin test is done on an arm, some times on a thigh. Then using an overlay they scratch the skin surface using a needle with the allergen on it. sometimes they inject something just under the skin. Then they wait, some times the reaction is almost immediate sometimes it takes a day or two. The reason for the overlay is so they can identify which site is reacting if there is a reaction.
As to what it may be; it could be almost anything. Have you started using a different type of make-up recently? Try using hypoallergenic make up and see if that helps.
names kayla, well long story short i have been with my husband for 8 years and hes deployed right now. he will be home in 2 months though. my mama who was a best friend to me passed away this year on mothers day. well i have never been on my own i have always had my husband or a family members living with me. with that said i have recently cheated on my husband for the first time ever.i really dont have the answers to why i did what i did but i feel ugly for doing so. i share everything with this man but i dont know if i should wait to tell him when he comes home from iraq or should i tell him now?
I think I know why you cheated. You were depressed, grieving and scared. Someone took advantage of you at a very vulnerable moment in your life. This does not excuse what happened only explains what happened.
I think your husband has a right to know, but not now. He is in harms way and needs to keep his wits about him if he is to stay alive. He can't fight and do what is being asked of him if he is upset or depressed over what has happened with you.
Right now my thoughts are that a lie of omission is in his best interest. Your job is to keep this to yourself, keep your letters to your husband upbeat and loving. Tell Mr. whoever that this was a mistake and to take a hike.
If you are feeling depressed and lonely since your mother passed this is natural and part of the grieving process. It is my understanding that the military has support groups for the dependants of deployed personnel. Take advantage of these support groups.
If what I think happened as to how the cheating happened your husband should understand. Until your husband returns you have time to grieve for your mother and time to grieve over your mistake. When your husband returns you will know how to tell him what happened.
Ok here's question that might be hard to answer .maybe not .my problem is trying to get my wife to want sex as much as I do .you see I have to initate everything .but I want her to be in the mood and just grab me ,rub me,kiss on me ,or anything to that matter .I want to be wanted in that way where she just can't keep her hands off me .I'm a verry atractve man .so what is the problem .iv talked to her about it but all she can say is I am atracted to you .but saying and doing is two different thing .sometimes I fell like a looser or failure because I fell so rejected .my sex life is just not there .anymore and I'm only 39 .sure I can spice it up and do different things but that doesn't get me what I want .sure lll get sex but not how I want it to be .like you see on the soaps hot seamy well you get the idea .it just doesn't happen she just lies there and let me do all the work .so what's the point in that anyways .so if anyone has a clue what I'm talking about or has been in my shoes please by all means give me some pointers of what. Can do
Peeps has some good ideas, somethings for you to think about. You didn't say if you you had children and if your wife worked outside the home. I mention these things as they do have an effect on your love life.
For instance; If you have children, your wife will always be in the mom mode, listening for the children. A women can be very verbal during sex until the children come along then sex has to be quiet so as not to disturb or be overheard by the children.
Date night is a good way to over come this. Date night does not always have to be fancy dinners and expensive hotels. It can be burgers at a fast food place and a couple of hours at the no tell motel possibly like when you were dating.
Men's sexual desires increase with age as a woman's decrease with age. Sort of a miss match if you ask me. Usually comes right around menopause. If your wife is your same age she could be entering early stages of menopause.
If she works outside the home, has kids to raise, and take care of all the things around the house as well, she may be just to tired to enjoy sex, so she allows you your pleasure then goes to sleep when your done.
If this sounds like your house you can do one of two things. If affordable hire a cleaning service to take care of most of the house work. In the alternative ask your wife what house work she will trust you with. Put it just that way as if your wife is anything like mine she has a set way things are to be done and trust that I can only do some of them correctly. She may only ask you to change the beds and vacuum. Not hard tasks but means a lot to her.
As to getting your wife to be more dominate in your love life; that is something you two should have worked on when you first started having sex. I think your roles in the bedroom are set now. You can talk about it but up bringing, on her part, and her life role, may be to much to over come at this point.
I recently found out that I'm expecting. I'm 19 yrs old & really anxious about the consequences of vaginal childbirth on.. well.. my vagina. plus terrified of the pain of child birth. so if a C-section is an option, that's what I wanna go with, but obviously my boyfriend and I don't have a TON of spare cash laying around when we have to plan for a child. Soo I just wondered if C-sections cost money in Canada or not? I wasn't sure given that it isn't really 'necessary'. Personal experiences are appreciated
A C-Section is an unnecessary invasive procedure that is done only when necessary. Usually to save the life of the baby and or the mother. C-Sections are also done if the baby is two large to pass through the birth canal but not for the reasons you specified.
As for the pain there is a procedure called an epidural where the anesthesiologist places a catheter in your back next to your spine. This allows fro the passing of numbing drugs that numbs the nerves that transmits the pain you feel during child birth. With the nerves numbed you feel nothing It is a routine procedure that most doctors recommend and many mothers to be ask for.
As for the stretching....don't worry, it will return to it's original size.