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Should I tell my husband I cheated on him before he comes back from Iraq?
names kayla, well long story short i have been with my husband for 8 years and hes deployed right now. he will be home in 2 months though. my mama who was a best friend to me passed away this year on mothers day. well i have never been on my own i have always had my husband or a family members living with me. with that said i have recently cheated on my husband for the first time ever.i really dont have the answers to why i did what i did but i feel ugly for doing so. i share everything with this man but i dont know if i should wait to tell him when he comes home from iraq or should i tell him now?
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I completely agree with the others who have said that you should NOT tell the poor guy while he's in Iraq.
I'm not going to comment further...
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No!!! u should never tell your husben that u cheated on him!!!!but if hes the kind thats understanding that if you fall,let him down easy and break the news to him.
Good luck and dont fall!
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You're human and you made a human mistake. If you're sure you won't do it again , I wouldn't tell him anything. The only thing that will happen is you'll have a clear concious but nothing else. I hope the best for you and good luck.
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I think I know why you cheated. You were depressed, grieving and scared. Someone took advantage of you at a very vulnerable moment in your life. This does not excuse what happened only explains what happened.
I think your husband has a right to know, but not now. He is in harms way and needs to keep his wits about him if he is to stay alive. He can't fight and do what is being asked of him if he is upset or depressed over what has happened with you.
Right now my thoughts are that a lie of omission is in his best interest. Your job is to keep this to yourself, keep your letters to your husband upbeat and loving. Tell Mr. whoever that this was a mistake and to take a hike.
If you are feeling depressed and lonely since your mother passed this is natural and part of the grieving process. It is my understanding that the military has support groups for the dependants of deployed personnel. Take advantage of these support groups.
If what I think happened as to how the cheating happened your husband should understand. Until your husband returns you have time to grieve for your mother and time to grieve over your mistake. When your husband returns you will know how to tell him what happened.
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I dunno what your husband's like, or his combat experiences. but I'll tell you a few things about the dangerous ground upon which you tread. two stories stick out in my mind, one from a dude in 3rd ID, the other from a dude in 1st ID. the guy in 3rd ID was pretty comical to us at the time... he found out about his wife cheating on him when he was in iraq back in 05. when his unit got home, they had a huge reunion ceremony on the parade ground in stewart. they did the usual "Dismissed!" thing, and all of the wives ran out on the parade ground to meet their husbands. his wife ran up, and 'ol dude clocked her with an epic haymaker. she dropped like a sack of bricks, and he got dragged off by the MPs.
The guy in 1st ID, well that ended a lot worse. his wife told him about a week after he got back, so he grabbed a kitchen knife and slit her throat, then took a nosedive off the balcony to the pavement below.
My advice depends on your husband's personality. if he's got any tendency towards violence, never tell him. if he's really chill, and would forgive you, you should tell him before he gets home. I'm a very relaxed person, but if given the proper input and a means to express my anger physically, I would choke the fuck out of my cheating wife. if given enough time, like the two months you have, I'd accept it. and by "accept", I mean divorce.
take it from a soldier, you have just violated the golden rule. tread softly, and this may be resolved in your favor.
-Gunner
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You should tell him. It's his right to know & you won't feel guilty. If he really loves you, he'll understand & help you. If you need a companion while he's away, maybe you should get a pet, or have children, or go through the adoption process.
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I would tell him, He deserves to know the truth but whether you go through with it is all up to you.
You have two choices, Tell him and be upfront with it and deal with the possible consequences or have it be in the back of your mind your entire marriage and live with the guilt.
Technically, You owe it too your husband to be honest. Sometimes actions come with consequences, It was either meant to be or wasn't but I would tell him the truth.
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If you're going to tell him tell him now, so he can get used to it before he sees you. But are you sure you want to tell him? Are you ever going to see this guy you cheated on him with again? If this is just a one-time thing, and it's not like a mutual friend of you and your husband's or anything like that, you really ought to consider just letting it go. We all make mistakes. Perhaps just get tested for STDs if you think that's a possibility, and just concentrate on loving your husband and being faithful from here on out.
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