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Gender: Male
Occupation: Information Professional
Age: 42
Member Since: January 22, 2010
Answers: 87
Last Update: February 3, 2011
Visitors: 5718
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I am 15 and a girl. I am having trouble at school. My friendship group are very Geeky, however i am not. I just moved last term but now i have realised I got myself into the wrong group.
There is a popular group who all the boys like and they are all close and good friends.
How do i brake from my current group and join what we call "the populars"
Please help!
From, currently geeky teen. (link)
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Just go on up to individual members of this group - the "populars" - and engage them in regular conversation, about classes, teachers, boys, upcoming events, whatever. It's a cliche to say "just be yourself', but it's a cliche because it's true. If you're relaxed and confident about who you are, people usually respond to that positively.
One thing you DON'T want to do is try to fit in with these popular girls by making fun of or bullying your 'geeky' friends. You will lose any chance of being their friend again, ever, and even the popular girls will see through what you're doing eventually. You may not want to hang out with the geeks anymore, but that doesn't mean you have to be mean to them.
Lastly, focus on what YOU like to do and where you like to go. It's fine to be popular, but don't let it eat up your time and personality! People respond to strong, positive individuals - so be one.
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so i started off this one year program as this really chill awsome girl, then i started going out and drinking a lot and i slowly but sureley started really sluttying it up.
i hookedup with an entire group of friends and ir eally wrecked my name.
i really really want to change and get my friends back and let people see the girl they loved at the beginning.
how do i do this? (link)
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Everyone's right about quitting drinking or at least drinking less. But about having 'hooked up' with a group of friends - I don't know that you have to be all that ashamed of that part of it. After all, anyone who hooked up with you is just as guilty of... whatever it is, as you are. If your name is "wrecked," then theirs should be too.
But of course, their names aren't 'wrecked', and yours shouldn't be either. Don't waste time on regret. If you lied to anyone, apologize for that, not for the sex. Just be a straightforward, honest and kind person from here on out (the best you can, just like anyone), and stick with the friends that stick by you.
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Hi. I'm Penny, 17 years old, college freshman.
So, last week I think I realized that I liked my classmate. We've been classmates since the school year started and I've been sort of liking him on and off. So, anyways, now that I've established the fact that I liked him, I decided to try my best to engage in conversation.
So the other day, we were together in school because we were both headed to the same building. So it was just us two. Alone. I'd ask him a question and then he'd just answer and then it'd be quiet again. I kept going at it but it still ended the same way. We decided to eat a little before getting to class and well, whenever I said something, he'd just answer, and then it'd be quiet and then it'd be awkward. I felt so defeated it's almost as if I wanted to give up (but I don't intend to).
Anyways, there. I don't really know what to do. I've studied in an exclusive girls school for four years of high school and I think I've forgotten how to act around guys.
Aside from this, our relationship is kind of complex. I don't know if we're like friends or merely classmates. But we've been around together lately 'cause we have 3 classes together. He tends to make fun of me sometimes (and he does it to other people too, unfortunately). I tend to make fun of him as well. And somehow it's kinda weird to transition from that into idk something else? Well, idk. This is why I need advice.
So, please help me?:( I really wanna know how to handle the situation (and maybe someone could give me flirting tips and tips on what to talk about, etc.). Thanks in advance!
xoxo (link)
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It's possible he's just shy. But you can only give him so many chances before you have to just give up; if he won't talk to you - if he just closes down every attempt at conversation - well, either he's not interested in getting to know you better, or else he's just not trying hard enough to overcome his own shyness. Either way, there's just nowhere to go.
Maybe before you give up on him (as a romantic prospect), you could ask him out for a dinner date unrelated to class. That's if you're really attracted to him. If that seems like more than you want to do right now, well - maybe make a few more attempts and then just put him the 'acquaintance' zone. Don't worry - more guys will come along.
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My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly a year now, and as we get closer and closer I find more and more things to love about him. He has been telling me he had something he had to tell me but every time he would try it would be really hard for him and he would just say he would tell me another time. Well last night we finally talked. The story is way too complex to share all the details, so in a nutshell, his ex-girlfriend he was with for 3 years had an abortion. She is bipolar and he had reason to believe she wasn't even telling the truth. He went along with it until the day she actually took care of it.... I could tell by the way he was telling me and by him crying that he feels so guilty. This girl was cheating with him on another guy and so he will never even know for sure if it was his baby or not. But the fact that there is a chance that it could have been his just eats away at him. He told me he felt like I needed to know in case it ever came up down the road. He just sat there crying and saying how he was a bad person and how he should have stopped her...... what can I do to help him with this guilt? I have no experience with this matter and I have no idea what to say....... I really want to help him.... (link)
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I think he will be all right. Just listen when he talks. But - and not to sound harsh here - he needs to stand behind his own decisions. He made them for a reason. He could have insisted on a paternity test. He could have forcefully presented adoption as an option and offered to support his ex through that process. But he didn't. Remind him of this - not to make him feel bad, but to make him aware that this was what he thought was best at the time, and a good argument can be made that if she had kept the baby, she would have gone on to raise it, and that would have been one more kid - possibly his - being raised by a screwed-up, bipolar mom.
He didn't necessarily make a bad decision. Tell him that, and otherwise just let him get it out. He'll be OK.
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Im 18/f and I've been dating my boyfriend for a few months. I still live at home with my parents because Im a Senior in highschool. I have a job, and I've always made good grades.
What I don't understand is my parents. They say I need to learn how to make decisions on my own, and take responsibilty and what not, and I try. They don't let me. For my 18th birthday, my mom let me get a Hotel room with my boyfriend; (my dad didn't know he was staying) and for New Years, BOTH of my parents knew I was stayin at a Hotel with my boyfriend, ONLY. They didn't care.
Well, my boyfriends mom recently asked me if I would be allowed to stay the night; and when I asked my parents, they didn't even hear me out, they said NO immediately. It doesn't make any sense. They will let me stay at a hotel with NO adult, but not at his house or my house WITH adults there. Im 18 years old. I want to be treated like an adult, so I'll be somewhat prepared for when IM on my own. What should I do to make them see it from my point of view? I see it from theres because they don't want me to get knocked up or whatever, but Im not. Im smarter than that. My life is about to begin, im not going to screw it up now. I know the real world isn't easy, But I'd rather get just a lil taste of it now, than go head first, on my own, clueless, ya know?
(link)
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I can relate to what you're going through. I'm a parent, but my kids (10 and 6) aren't to that stage yet, thank goodness. The reason I can relate is because I remember being a young adult, living in my parents' house. And yes, it is awkward. I used to stay up there (I had a room to myself upstairs) with a girlfriend until quite late, and then the next day there were all these awkward looks, and strained questions, and it was just awful!
The fact is that they're just feeling their way here, just like you. The thought of your sex life makes them uncomfortable, just like the thought of THEIR sex life probably would make you uncomfortable, if you really had to think about it at all. As far as a night at the boyfriend's - they probably want to project a more cautious, straight-laced-parent image to your boyfriend's parents. And that's understandable. They gave you a gift of a hotel night with your boyfriend. Give them a gift back by (for now) delaying a night at your boyfriend's house.
All this silliness is only going to last another year or two at most. Be patient with them, and let them know - one adult to another - that you sympathize with their having to deal with a daughter who's suddenly on the verge of being independent. That attitude will help them relax faster.
Best of luck to you AND your parents!
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I'm a baby and can't tell the girl that I like, that I like her. That's because I'm a girl, and have never been with a girl or liked a girl in this way. Nobody knows, so I'm so scared of somebody finding out. So, I wrote her a message on Facebook explaining my situation. I made a fake account and told her that I didn't want to tell her who I was yet, because I needed to know how she felt about the whole situation. My question is though, is there any way she could find out it's me. I mean, I know she couldn't just because we never talk at school- she knows who I am but our school is HUGE. I'm just wondering if there's any way on Facebook she could find out who I am? (link)
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The facebook idea is clever, but I'm wondering if it will work. She might get paranoid and think that someone will take her "yes, I'd be interested" response and post it all over some public part of that page or another page.
If she doesn't respond, here's another idea; start a gmail account with some screen name not connected to you (and make sure not to register it under your real name) and send it to her email, advising her to create her own anonymous gmail account to reply to you, minus incriminating details like names, school, etc., if she's interested. That way, her reply could never be reproduced and held against her. She should feel free to be honest under those conditions.
Good luck! Hope you get her. But if you don't, there's plenty of fish in the sea.
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i've had my period for 4 years now, (i'm 18), and i've had about 4 extremely bad periods. i don't even know how to explain it. its like someone put my uterus in a blender and put it on the highest notch. i can't walk, i can't talk, i can't eat, i'm throwing up, i can't sleep, the pain is intolerable, and all i can manage to do is writhe on my bathroom floor and scream as if i'm in labor. but like i said, that's only happened 4 times since i started, at least that i can remember. well, my last period was on december 11th and it was one of the bad ones. a friend was over and my mom had to take her home at 7 in the morning. i didn't want her to hear me screaming.
and now i'm supposed to be starting my period this weekend and i'm fucking terrified. i don't know if i can handle another period like that. and soon i'm going to be graduating highschool and getting a job and such and how am i supposed to keep a job if i have to miss a day because my periods are that horrible? is there anything i can do? (link)
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I guess the obvious advice is to see a gynecologist, but it's probably also the best one. It's possible your painful periods are both incurable and also pose no health risks, but wouldn't it be good to have a doctor's opinion about that?
If it turns out that nothing can be done AND those periods aren't causing you any lasting damage... well, I guess you've got some decisions to make - either find the right medication(s) and live with the pain, or just say f*ck it and get a hysterectomy. But see a gynecologist, for goodness dake! Maybe there's another solution to this problem.
Best of luck!
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ok so my boyfriend and i are about to have sex for the first time , i'm a virgin, he's not and he has had many sexual partners 16, and i wanna have sex with him BUT i wanna ask him to get an STD test since im worried. i dont know ANYTHING about std test like how are they perform? do you ask for a special kind? or specific test? or do you just go ask for an std test and that includes getting tested for all diseases??
so 1. what kind of test should he ask for, do you have to specify which diseases you wanna get tested for?
2. how can i ask my boyfriend to get a test done without sounding rude cause he has had a bad past lots of girls including trips to amsterdam if you know what i mean ...
i am gonna ask him to get the test but i wanna make sure it isnt in vain and that im not missing on something like i dont know if you should ask to get tested for specific diseases or what
please help! (link)
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Hitler the Goat has it about right, except for the HPV test - there isn't one for men. So have your bf do herpes, syphilis, Hep A, B & C and HIV. You don't really have to worry about the others, as they aren't non-symptomatic; i.e. he'd know if he had them.
As for how to broach the subject... just tell him you'd take them yourself if you weren't a virgin. By the way, about that - have you ever received or performed oral sex? If you have, you can feel justified in getting an HIV, Herpes or Syphilis test (even though your chances of infection are pretty low), and that might make it seem more fair.
Anyway, good luck, and congrats on having the wisdom and courage to be careful!
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How do i give a good hand job ? I feel stupid when i do it and he dosen't get off. (link)
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Well, I don't want to get too graphic here, but there are a few principles to observe. One is that you should genuinely enjoy the way he feels and actually like doing it, and you should let him know that. You should use both hands, and get you hands all over the entire area, and you should grip firmly (but not too hard), and don't go too fast.
The thing to remember, though, is that guys sometimes don't get off with just hands. If he's masturbated recently, for example, there's a good chance he's just not going to come. And that's okay! If you're making him feel good, he should appreciate that, and appreciate you. After a while, you can just stop and move on to other things. No need to feel stupid.
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i am a girl and i am 14 i have a boyfriend but i also have a friend and its a girl who i like a lot but i am in love with my boyfreind does that make me bisexul ? (link)
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The only thing that "makes" you bisexual is your experience of your own sexuality over time. And that's the point - there hasn't been enough time here. Even if you were to have a sexual relationship with your girlfriend (and I'm not saying you should push that, if you think she doesn't want that), that doesn't necessarily "make" you bisexual. Why?
Well, picture yourself thirty years from now - you've never been with another girl, and you've had many long, satisfying relationships with men, and your brief affair with your girlfriend when you were 14 is a distant memory. Does that sound like a "bisexual" woman to you?
Don't get me wrong - I'm not trying to predict how your life is going to turn out. The point is that sexuality - girls' sexuality especially - is somewhat fluid, and is determined by the sum total of experiences and feelings over many years. You don't have to worry about it at any point! Just be honest with yourself about what you feel, and honest with those around you (to the extent that you think they're ready to hear it). You will be fine!
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Hey guys!
So, I'm trying to lose some weight - particularly around my whole belly area. I've been jogging for about a week now daily for about 30 minutes per day (which is kind of more like 'jalking'). I cut down on my calorie intake so it's about 1500 per day with lots of water. I was never a huge over-eater but I could have eaten better and less food. So, the changes to my body are that I'm exercising daily when I wasn't exercising at all before and I'm eating better.
I want to know if this is going to help me lose weight at all. I definatley feel like I'm getting a bit fitter each day as I can jog longer and longer and keep expanding my route. My tummy muscles are the most sore at the moment, feeling as if they have definitely been worked which I'm hoping is a good sign.
In addition, I'm an 18 year old female living in Australia and I weigh about 75 kilos and I am around 5'4 tall.
Since I'm trying to lose weight in my belly area, will jogging be very effective with that? I've read that the tummy area is where you lose weight first so I'm hoping that's true. A part from wanting to be healthier and thinner, I'm trying to lose up to 5 kilos by 4 weeks time. It's a lot I know, I'm hoping it will be at least 3 kios with how I'm going. What do you think?
One of my motivations currently is to fit properly into my birthday dress. It fits but it's really tight on this part just under my breasts. Going the way I am, will I be able to lose say about 1/2 to 1 inch off this area in a month?
Thanks so much guys! :) (link)
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Your weight-loss goal here is acheivable, but just a little on the high end, and there could be a problem there; fast weight loss often leads to fast regaining of weight. People sometimes call this "yo-yo dieting." I know you're eager to lose the weight, but it really is better to lose it slowly. Develop those habits of smaller meals, more fiber, and daily exercise, but don't try to do it all at once.
As far as "targeting" specific areas of the body for weight loss - I'm afraid that's almost impossible. The fat distribution on your body is entirely determined by genetics. You can control, to a degree, the areas you want to build muscle, but you can't really control exactly where to burn fat. All you can do is get into the best shape you can, and see how your body looks when it has less fat. On the plus side, it's bound to look better!
Don't go too crazy with the weight loss though - stay above 53 kilos! Not all fat is bad. :)
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Hey there. I'm fifteen/f and my boyfriend is 16. Our two month anniversary was something like 2 days ago, he's awesome, cute, etc. but he's my first boyfriend and I have no idea how to approach the topic with my parents. I'm pretty sure that I'm allowed to date, even though we don't have any concrete "rules", but I'm just petrified to broach the subject with my parents. I'm really close with my parents, we talk about common interests and stuff, but not really about personal stuff and I'm sure telling them would be really awkward. I'm just afraid they'll tease me (they will) and that they'll want to meet him and embarrass me and such and such. I'm just worried that when I tell them they'll (especially my mom) be really hurt that I didn't tell her as soon as it happened. Can anyone help? This is really, really stressing me out... (link)
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Seriously, it really will be all right. Heck, you could just print out this question (and these responses if you like) and hand it to your mom.
If you don't want to do that, you could gloss over the fact that you've been seeing him for a couple of months ("mom, dad, there's this guy I met recently...") and thus avoid that part. But don't be afraid of any teasing they might do! That's better than a pained, serious discussion, isn't it? You can let them know you're easing into the relationship thing, and they'll be happy you're not rushing things or acting too grown-up all of a sudden. It'll be fine! Your parents (and boyfriend) sound great. Good luck!
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I'm a fifteen year old girl, sophomore. So the other night I was at a party (a little tipsy, definitely not drunk) a guy (junior, 17) kept trying to give me drinks but this guy has always been really creepy so I was avoiding him all night. Long story short, he wouldn't leave me alone, followed me to the bathroom and basically attacked me. Trying to kiss me and feel me up but I was able to get out of the bathroom and I ran outside. Almost everyone at the party was drinking so I called this guy I've kind of been dating (junior, 17) who wasn't feeling well and didn't go to the party. I told him I needed him to come get mr he asked why but I said I just needed him to come and he came to pick me up. Is it bad that I didn't tell him what happened?? I mean it's not like the other guy actually diddd anything. Well he did but I mean it's not like he got his hands into anything or that we made out, it lasted like five seconds and the guy that I'm kind of seeing and I are not actually official... I just dont want himto freak out cause I know he already hated the kid that tried to get on me. Should I tell him or is it really just better to leave it alone...? (link)
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Well... that's kind of a tricky one, but for now I would come down on the side of - leave it alone. For now. But keep an eye on this guy - I mean the jerk who groped on you. If you run into him at a party again, watch his behavior, and make sure you have a ride available when you need it (which should really be a rule for everyone at a party!)
Also, do your girlfriends a favor and let them know that this guy can get a little rough. You'll be helping them out. And if you hear about him doing anything else like this to any other girls - not just you - I think then it's time to tell authority figures that he might be a rapist-in-training.
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i'm 21 f and a few weeks ago found out i was pregnant my bf and i were really excited (were planning to get married anyway) it was such a great feeling but my family wasn;t on board with the idea it was stressing me out witch my bf said to calm down since that wasn't good for the baby. well long story short two days ago i lost my baby. my bf and i are really upset i blame all the stress and i did take a tumble down the stairs as well. i feel so down and upset is it just gref of am i depressed? please help if its depression i would like to seek help (link)
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It's a form of grief you're experiencing. I'm sorry about your loss, by the way. But you'll bounce back. You've just got to find someone to talk to about it, let yourself cry, realize you didn't do anything wrong, and then finally get back into living and having fun again. It won't happen overnight, but it won't take forever either.
You should plan to become pregnant again, but next time, do it on your terms - when you and your boyfriend are in a more stable situation - maritally, emotionally and financially. That might be two, three, even four years from now. But that's okay! Don't rush having kids. A LOT of first babies are miscarriages; chances are you'll succeed next time, or the time after that.
Best of luck.
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Okay; 18/f && 17/m; Last Thursday, I let my boyfriend stick it in because he's a virgin and wanted to see what it would feel like; after a couple of thrust, he pulled out because he felt like he could nut if he kept going; the whole thing only lasted a minute and a half max. It wasnt long at all. I was freaking out becaue I thought he could have pre-nutted in me, and not known, and I could be pregnant.
Well today I noticed Im ovulating. I wasn't sure if I could be pregnant from Thursday and still ovulate, or if me ovulating is a sign im not pregnant?
Helpp? (link)
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Hello. It's a promising sign, but unfortunately not certain. To find out, I'm afraid you only have two choices: 1) get and take a home pregnancy test (or get one at your docotor's), or 2) wait to see if you get your period.
I'm afraid those really are your only options. Best of luck to you in any case, and use a condom next time!
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i have some shell i collected and dont know what to do with them.i want to make something or do something with them.what should i do with them/ (link)
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Sort them by size and color, then glue them to a piece of poster-board in patterns that you like. A shell mosaic! Very pretty. Try it and see what you get!
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Hi, i broke up with my boyfriend a year ago. he sheeted on me when he left to the Dominican republic. when he came back i asked him who was that girl and he told me that was his cousin. it was all a lie. when he went back ovethere he got a different girl. now he's with her. now he is back to his town and he was telling e how much he misses me. 2 days ago he came walking to my house and it was very cold out. he came because he wanted to see me. he told me he has changed. i asked him why is he doing this when he has a girl in Dominican republic. he said he is just waiting for her to do something a guy so he can break up with her. he told me that he is going to come to my house tomorrow. i am confused because if he comes he knows he is going to see my mother. he always asks for her..which is good..but am confused with him. he tells me he loves me and that he cant stop thinking about me but i dot know if this is true. please help me out. am 18 years old. If you were in this position what will you do? (link)
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If you want him to date you and only you, then say so. And if you think he's lying then dump him - again - and don't take him back.
Easier said than done, I know, but he sounds like he's being a confusing, untrustworthy person right now. So either dump him now, or give him an ultimatum, and see if he can stick to it. Either way, I have a feeling you'll be looking for someone else before too long. But that's okay! You're young, and life is long. Date, laugh and have fun. Be honest with people and demand they be honest with you.
Best of luck!
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Okay i love my girlfriend so so much but i don't know if i can believe her but i know i love her and i believe she loves me but like i really want to know if she is a virgin or not cause when we first met she told me she wasn't a virgin and she is bisexual and then she told show she had sex and told me how many guys and u know i had a little problems with that cause i usually dated girls that are virgins cause i am one myself and i told her that so she knew i didnt like girls that much wasn't a virgin but i will try to work with it but then 5 months past and she was keep messing up so we broke up and i started going out with another girl and out of no where she texts me and says FYI im still a virgin and i figured she said it cause she knew i liked girls that were and she knew i was going out with a girl that was and she wanted me back so then me and that girl broke up cause we wasn't working out so me and vanessa got back together cause i did really miss her but now to this day i still dont know if she is a virgin like i asked her tons of times but she keeps saying she is a virgin but i dont believe her but i love her so much i just need to know if she is a virgin but i dont know if i should believe her cuz she lied to me before Please help somebody this thought goes thru my head everyday :( (link)
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Look, whether she's a virgin or not isn't important. It just isn't. Her LYING about it - that IS important. And you're right not to want to date a girl who lies to you.
But you're partly to blame here. She obviously really likes you - so much that she's lying about (not) having had sex before. It's your pressure - your requirement of virginity in the girls you date - that's making her want to lie. You need to cut that out. The older you get, the less likely you are to find virgins to date. Sooner or later, you're going to have to relax about this, and I think you should do it now.
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My best friend, who I completely consider my brother, is considering suicide. I've told him over and over that he can talk to me anytime. I don't care. And that I don't care about anyone else, I'm always here for him. I love him to death. But he keeps thinking about it. I no longer know what to do to help. Please give me advice! (link)
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You've simply got to alert others to your friend's condition. He may view it as a violation of privacy or a breach of confidence, but it doesn't matter; he needs to have others weigh in and let him know he has their support and care as well as yours. Teachers, coaches, parents, aunts, uncles, other friends. Find whoever actually cares.
There's a good chance that he WANTS to be helped. After all, if he didn't want to be helped or talked out of it, he wouldn't tell you or anybody about his plans; he'd just do it. But he hasn't, and that means he must have some hope, some spark of happiness left that can possibly be fanned into flame.
Do all you can for him, but don't try to do it all yourself. Get help, get him help. Best of luck to you both.
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so it just hit me that its SO hard for me to say no when it comes to making out and being fingered. i have absolutely no problem saying no to people that i've only hung out with a few times and don't really know. but looking back on my last 3 hook-ups, they were all with my really close guy friends. at first i didn't want to do anything with them but once you start making out with them it just all goes from there. i feel so bad because they all leaned into me to kiss me and they're such sweet guys so i felt too bad if i pulled away. how can i fix this problem? :/
also, these 3 guys aren't just guy friends, they're guys i've known for years and i trust. but they're so sweet to me i'd never want to hurt their feelings. (link)
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You should be able to tell guys exactly how you feel without feeling ashamed or guilty. You can say "thanks, but no thanks" in a nice way. Tell guys you're friends with that you think they're attractive and everything (that will help make them feel better) but you've decided you just don't want to do anything sexual with them - they're too important to you as a friend to jeopardize that.
Any guy who's not a jerk will be able to accept that (or will at least act like he does). Then, things won't be so confusing anymore and you can focus on the one (or two, or however many) guy(s) you actually DO want to kiss, etc.
Good luck!
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