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Is it bad that I didn't tell him what happened??
I'm a fifteen year old girl, sophomore. So the other night I was at a party (a little tipsy, definitely not drunk) a guy (junior, 17) kept trying to give me drinks but this guy has always been really creepy so I was avoiding him all night. Long story short, he wouldn't leave me alone, followed me to the bathroom and basically attacked me. Trying to kiss me and feel me up but I was able to get out of the bathroom and I ran outside. Almost everyone at the party was drinking so I called this guy I've kind of been dating (junior, 17) who wasn't feeling well and didn't go to the party. I told him I needed him to come get mr he asked why but I said I just needed him to come and he came to pick me up. Is it bad that I didn't tell him what happened?? I mean it's not like the other guy actually diddd anything. Well he did but I mean it's not like he got his hands into anything or that we made out, it lasted like five seconds and the guy that I'm kind of seeing and I are not actually official... I just dont want himto freak out cause I know he already hated the kid that tried to get on me. Should I tell him or is it really just better to leave it alone...?
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Let's face it this guy is a grade A creep with a real problem. He probably wanted to ply you with drinks that may or may not be laced with something so he can take advantage.
If you said NO and pushed him off or tried to when he followed you into the bathroom it means nothing was with your consent. It's assault. I'm no law expert but I *think* he can be charged unless you hear differently for attacking you.
Tell your parents first as you have to get adults you trust to handle this as you can't do it alone. Tell your boyfriend how frightened you were and didn't know what to do and who to tell and if you should as it just happened. I know he will support you.
If he fights the other guy it's not your fault as you can't control what anyone else does including him. Regardless tell anyone who will listen from parents to teachers... Also, just because you were drinking doe not mean you consented to anyone or were looking for trouble like this. Assault is assault if this was unwanted or done without you being aware.
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Yes.
Tell your boyfriend.
Hell... tell everyone.
Two reasons...
One.
Eventually you boyfriend will find out, assuming you are planning on staying with him for a while. That you kept this from him would be insulting and may even break you up. Imagine you found out that early in your relationship some girl made moves on him and he never told you.
Two.
The most important reason to tell your boyfriend... and other people... this guy who attacked you and (let's be honest) may have raped you now feels he got away with it.
Whether it's police getting involved, or him getting his ass kicked, of just everyone knowing what a dirtbag this guy is... he needs to be exposed or he's just going to do it again to someone who might not be as lucky as you.
Forget your embarassment or what drama it may cause with your boyfriend... think about this dirtbag thinking he got away with it... think about the next girl.
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You were assaulted. What that boy did to you was a crime, it was assault, pure and simple.
You don't owe to the guy you are sorta seeing to telling him what happened, but you do owe it to yourself to go talk to a counselor or a teacher, someone you can trust.
You don't need to be embarrassed, or worry about the guy you are seeing finding out. You don't need to hide it from him. You have to trust that he can behave responsibly with this information, and not to anything stupid. You can be angry, very angry, and you can bring this to the attention of an adult, hopefully someone who can talk some sense into the guy who assaulted you at least.
Better you bring it to adult's attention now, and this guy finds out how not okay what he did you was, then this guy tries to hurt another girl, or worse, does hurt someone.
I know it feels like a big deal what your love interest might think or feel, but it's really a much bigger deal that you take care of yourself, get the support you need, and that someone at least informs that jackass that he could go to jail for pulling that shit. It's totally up to you if you want to confide in the guy you are seeing or not, but you should talk to an adult and make sure you get the support you need to deal with this experience.
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I don't really know if it matters if you tell him or not. It's not like you were cheating on him, because first of all, you two aren't official and second, the other guy was the one that was trying to get all over you. So you won't be in trouble either way. So you can tell him or you don't have to. In my opinion, it doesn't really matter. He might want to kill the kid that did that to you but I don't think he'd get mad at you for any reason.
I don't know the guy so I don't know if he'd freak out or what he'd do.
Well like the person below me said, I think you should tell your girls, just in case any get in some situation with that guy. Just so they know ahead of time that he isn't good news.
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Well... that's kind of a tricky one, but for now I would come down on the side of - leave it alone. For now. But keep an eye on this guy - I mean the jerk who groped on you. If you run into him at a party again, watch his behavior, and make sure you have a ride available when you need it (which should really be a rule for everyone at a party!)
Also, do your girlfriends a favor and let them know that this guy can get a little rough. You'll be helping them out. And if you hear about him doing anything else like this to any other girls - not just you - I think then it's time to tell authority figures that he might be a rapist-in-training.
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