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Mother in law
My husband and I are from another country.We have a 2 year old daughter.He is very good to her.When she was 4 months old ,we went to his house for a week long stay.His parents,especially his mom tried to harm her physically.As I was extremely vigilant,she could'nt do anything,but still was vocal about her wishes.She said that she wanted to burn her fingers,put hard solid foods like pickles,guavas and insert them into her throat with her fingers,took her to an angry dog of a neighbor and asked the neighbor to free the dog from its leash.I kept my baby in my arms and told the neighbors not to do it.She wanted to scare her in a variety of other forms.Also when baby rolled up her legs, she put her legs down saying that she was immodest ,though baby was wearing diaper and shorts.She suggested tying up baby with a rope.Also,she told mu husband that the baby is very ugly though many people in the USA call her pretty.After that we did not go there for a stay.We did visit her and she was the same.Now my husband wants to stay there for a night with our 2 year old.He gets angry when I try to reason out with him.WHAT SHOULD I DO?should I go with the stay or not?
PLEASE ADVICE
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I have read and heard about some strange cultural customs but this does not come close to fitting any of what I have ever seen or heard of. Keep your daughter away from this women at all costs.
I understand your husband wanting to visit his mother, after all she is his mother. You too are a mother as such your primary and over riding responsibility is to the safety of your child. I find it hard to believe your husband would endanger his child in this manner.
Tell your husband that you will not endanger your child by visiting his mother. You understand his need or desire to visit her and will not refuse him doing so. You will refuse to allow your daughter to visit and will stay at home with her when he feels the need to visit his mother.
If your husband asks why, which he probably will, we men have short memories, tell him you fear for your daughters safety around her mother and this is the only way you have of making sure your daughter is safe until she is old enough to defend herself.
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Your baby's care comes first before anything. If your husband is okay with his mother telling you she wants to physically harm your child then that's just nuts. Clearly, she's taking out her anger with you on your child who is completely innocent. Why don't you try talking to his parents and see what the problem they have with you is. They're using your child as a way to getting to you. If things don't reason out, just tell your husband that you're not going. Don't try to stop him from seeing his parents, after all, those are the people that rasied him. But you need to do what's best for your child.
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you need to not go for the safety of your daughter not over night. I would be terrifed that woman is nuts. you need to explain to your husband she may kill her if you go there
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All forms of attempted act are abuse. Mentally, Physically, and Emotionally. It's WRONG. ( I, Personally would record the conversation and report it to the local police department)
Sit your husband down and discuss this, Let him know that it is wrong, You don't want your daughter around his mother for the sake of her safety. IF you can't reason with him and you do decide to stay a night I would find a baby sitter. Someone you trust, To watch your daughter for the night DO NOT bring her over there. I would let your husband know that his mother is a danger to your daughter and how you do not want her around the daughter. If your husband can't reason with you and put his daughter's safety first then you may want to think about whether you really can stay married to your husband. As the truth, You marry your husband...You marry his family. Your daughter comes first, That's how it should always be no matter the circumstances.
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