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not living life because of my mom.
My whole life I've lived under my mom. I haven't made barely any decisions on my own. I just finished my first semester of my freshman year in college at a university close to my home because my mom is forcing me to live with her. I'm absolutely in LOVE with this school down in Florida (I live in New York) and she refuses to let me go. All of my friends left and I feel like I'm the only one left, I feel like I'm not even in college and I'm not getting the experience either. This school is exactly what I'm looking for and she just doesn't understand. She won't let me grow up. I'm 19 years old. I've tried sitting her down and talking to her but she just gets up and walks away or starts screaming at me and is just so rude. She won't even listen. I really don't want to miss out, you only go to college once. What should I do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I agree 100% with what Jamiel has written.
I will add only this. If you mother is paying for your education she may only be able to afford the lower in state tuition that the school you are attending offers.
The only thing you are missing out on is the party or social side of college. You are getting the educational benefits of college regardless of which school you attend. Should I be correct that mom is footing the bill for your eduction and you truly want to attend the other school then you need to make some choices.
Do you want to graduate college with a loan larger than some mortgages. That means spending the first 10 to 15 years of your career paying of student loans.
If you can accept that fact then instead of arguing with your mother, talk to her. Find out if I am correct in that the school you are attending is all she can afford. She may want to save you from graduating with the debt she and your father may have. Your college debt will weigh heavily against everything in your life until it is paid off, from car loans to the purchase of a house. You need to have a balance in your debt to earnings and asset ratio to qualify for loans. The larger your school loans are the more income you will need to qualify for other loans.
I may very well be wrong in my assumption, but mom may not be trying to ruin your life, she just may be trying to save you from mistakes she made when she was your age. So talk, not scream at mom. See just what mom may be trying to do for you that you may just be unwilling to hear.
Have a Happy New Year.
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Welcome to the real world! This just might be your first taste of what it means to be independent.
No one likes conflict. Few things cause greater stress in a family than when when children leave home. Just like fledgelings leaving the nest, young adults eventually must spread their wings and take flight.
Are you ready to take that flight? If you are, I say go for it. What is holding you back? Grown-ups don't need permission from others to make a decision. That being said, you also have to be ready for the consequences of whatever path you choose.
Many times in life we want the best of both worlds. Freedom and independence in Florida with friends and a school you love sounds great. Will you be supporting yourself financially? Do you have experience in paying bills, buying groceries, and handling a budget? If you want the freedom to live your own life, you must be ready to take on ALL the responsibilities that comes with it.
Unfortunately, you probably will not have everything in this world. You will have to choose between your mother's support/favor and your own wishes of independence. Maybe you could exercise those wings more before you take flight. Being an adult is not about having everything your way, but rather living contentedly even when you don't. That my friend is the mark of true maturity.
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