Member Since: December 28, 2010
Answers: 3
Last Update: December 28, 2010
Visitors: 895
|
| |
|
I'm M/15. I have been addicted to porn for a while. It soon escalated to transexual porn. I feel like its making me anti social. I like girls but I don't talk to them as much as I used to. I feel like I'll never get a girlfriend. Stupid dam internet. Every time I finish mastrabating to it, I feel evil & disgraceful, & disgusted with myself. I have been able to go weeks before a relapse. I also realise that when I used to be with a girl, I would never even think about porn. When I do see a girl I know & like, I just say hi & walk on, I used to be able to talk & laugh, but this past year I've turned into a disgusting, lonely bastard with no life. Once I went about 3 weeks by sabotaging my internet connection, BUT ofcourse I relapsed. :( What have I become? Maybe a new year's resolution... (link)
|
Don't start January 1st. Start Today!
Addictions are very common these days. We live in a world so full of tragedy and despair, all humans look for a way out or a relief. Don't make sex your outlet!
The fact you feel unclean after you masturbate shows that its unhealthy and damaging. I would recommend not only setting a goal of living a porn-free life, but also conquering the horrific habit of self-abuse.
Masturbation and pornography are your get-aways from reality. Living in fantasy will only weaken your defenses to combat real life issues. What will you do if you feel you can't defend yourself? Most addicts escape once more to their dream world- forming a vicious cycle.
Yet, young friend, there is hope. You can break that cycle! Many have done it successfully. You are fifteen. What a perfect opportunity to develop some skills and strategies that will benefit you from now on. Self-control; Self-restraint; Will-power; Courage.
I commend you for your three weeks of cleanliness. Twenty-one days is quite an achievement. Many addicts can't survive 20 minutes without a hit or drink. This convinces me that you have what it takes to overcome your personal demons.
God will help you, but only if your first help yourself. Make concrete changes now that will help you in your battle. Is your computer in your bedroom? Why not put it in a more public place of the house? You will feel less tempted to access porn if someone else responsible is around.
Have you ever written a journal? Try writing about the negative effects of your masturbation and porn-viewing. Write in it every day. Anything that triggers you or helps you, write it down. When you have a relapse, analyze what lead up to it. Omit no details. Be honest with yourself. This will help identify patterns of behavior that hurt you and those that help you.
Keep a record on a calendar of each day you remain clean. Every ten days reward yourself. When you have tempting thoughts or desires, don't just push them out of your mind. They will only back, and always stronger than before. Rather then trying to rid yourself of those desires, face them head on. Reason with your conscience. "If I do this, how will I feel after-wards? Is the guilt really worth it? But, if I don't, can't I count that as a triumph?"
There is an excellent website that has many suggestions about how to overcome sexual addictions. www.sexualcontrol.com
There you can download the book, The Most Personal Addiction, by Joe Zychilk.
I have confidence in you. You have already taken a first step- asking for help. You will win! Talk to your parents or a responsible adult about your secret. You may be surprised of their understanding and love. Relapses may occur. But they don't indicate failure. It just means you haven't reached the finished line yet. Keep running and you will succeed.
|
|
My whole life I've lived under my mom. I haven't made barely any decisions on my own. I just finished my first semester of my freshman year in college at a university close to my home because my mom is forcing me to live with her. I'm absolutely in LOVE with this school down in Florida (I live in New York) and she refuses to let me go. All of my friends left and I feel like I'm the only one left, I feel like I'm not even in college and I'm not getting the experience either. This school is exactly what I'm looking for and she just doesn't understand. She won't let me grow up. I'm 19 years old. I've tried sitting her down and talking to her but she just gets up and walks away or starts screaming at me and is just so rude. She won't even listen. I really don't want to miss out, you only go to college once. What should I do? (link)
|
Welcome to the real world! This just might be your first taste of what it means to be independent.
No one likes conflict. Few things cause greater stress in a family than when when children leave home. Just like fledgelings leaving the nest, young adults eventually must spread their wings and take flight.
Are you ready to take that flight? If you are, I say go for it. What is holding you back? Grown-ups don't need permission from others to make a decision. That being said, you also have to be ready for the consequences of whatever path you choose.
Many times in life we want the best of both worlds. Freedom and independence in Florida with friends and a school you love sounds great. Will you be supporting yourself financially? Do you have experience in paying bills, buying groceries, and handling a budget? If you want the freedom to live your own life, you must be ready to take on ALL the responsibilities that comes with it.
Unfortunately, you probably will not have everything in this world. You will have to choose between your mother's support/favor and your own wishes of independence. Maybe you could exercise those wings more before you take flight. Being an adult is not about having everything your way, but rather living contentedly even when you don't. That my friend is the mark of true maturity.
|
|
Well my cousin smokes weed. let's call him Jake. He did it when he was like 16-18 then he stopped. He is now 20. We were at our Christmas dinner and Jake asked my other cousins let's call them Sammie and Lucy to go smoke in their car. Well they said ok and let him do it and I was texting Lucy and she said that he was smoking weed. I am scared that he will get my brothe into it that is 16 Years old. Let's call him Garry. Well Garry looks up to Jake and he changes his personality a bit when Jake is arround. My brother Garry says he would ne'er get into it because it's stupid but I feel like if he was asked by Jake to do it then he would say yes and take A puff or aomething. What should I do!? (link)
|
Have you thought about talking with a responsible adult? Our friends and especially family, can have a profound effect on the way we act. It is very important that you let one of your parents or other adult family members know what is happening.
Its hard to tell on others. But saving someone's life is far more important than being called a snitch. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Smoking weed is a crime. Buying it, selling, sharing it, are all illegal. Don't be passive about any form of drug abuse.
Talk to your brother, "Garry" about what it means to be a role model. Make him think about whether cousin "Jake" is an example worth copying. Anyone who would invite you to have part in a self-destructive behavior has no true genuine love for you or your well-being. It doesn't matter if he is your blood.
Be selective when it comes to who you hang around. Your friends will affect you. Make wise choices when it comes to your companions. Cousins and other peers can either make you or break you. Don't allow your brother or others to be broken by Jake's horrible frame of mind. Get help- either a parent, a trusted aunt or uncle, even a teacher.
|
|