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If you cannot convince them, confuse them.

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When I was 13 I found out that I have a sister that had been put up for adoption. I had grown up thinking that I had two sisters and it was devistating to think that I had another one that I may never know and be able to love. So, I swore that one day I would find her. Back in March I did find her. I had searched for so long that I really felt that I would never find her and when I did I was afraid that since I grea up in a dysfunctional family and we weren't wealthy or anything that we wouldn't be good enough for her. Well, she is wonderful. We went through the DNA testing and when we found out it was just amazing. She came out for a visit in April and since then I have gone to see her twice. We live in seperate states. The two sisters and I that grew up together have the same father but she (2nd to the oldest) has a different father. My father is dead now (long story) but our mother is still living. Mom has a long history of drug abuse and she does not want my Sister to know about it.

This is my question. I think that she is noticing that Mom isn't as close to her as she is our oldest and youngest sisters. They e-mail and Mom calls about once a month or so but she and I talk weekly and on the internet every night. The other two sisters rarely e-mail her and they don't call her. I know that she doesn't feel as connected to the family as she would like to and I feel responsible because I was the one that went looking for her. There are times that she tells me that it really hurts her feelings and I am not sure what to say.

I love her so much, she is just fantastic and had a terrible life growing up. Her adopted Dad wound up in prison and her adopted Mom comitted suicide when she was a teenager. I know that she has abandonment issues because of all of that and now I am scared that meeting her bio family is just adding to those issues because of their distance. I wouldn't take for knowing and having the chance to be in my sister's life and her in mine but sometimes I feel so guilty for causing her even more grief.

Did I do the right thing by finding her or was I just being selfish because I missed her so much being in my life? I am just afraid that my love for her just isn't enough to make up for all of the time that she has done without and now that she has found her bio family that maybe the dream of what they were was better than what we are.

Confusing and long I know but anyone with input would be appreciated.

You didnt do anything wrong... cuz it sounded like she doesnt really have anyone either... & its really hard to NOT know who ur bio family is... whether u get along with them or not... dont worry about how ur mom & sisters act towards her... having you in her life is going to make a BIG impact... always be there for her & let her know... no matter what they say you will always love her... there are plenty of selfish people out there in the world that act like that... YOU arent one of them... keep in touch with her... make her feel like shes YOUR sister...

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hey i was just wondering if there are any good waysz to loose wait fast . lol no starvinq lol or any other dangerous thinqs...plz reply thank you.

PS: i mean like a qood diet. or soemthinq qood to loose wait :)

proportion control... u can eat anything u wanna eat... you just shouldnt eat too much of ANYTHING... suppose u want pizza... only have one slice... & have a salad with it... chicken breast dont have too much fat in em... & they taste pretty good... subway is a good way to lose weight too... & they say drinkin 1% milk helps you lose weight

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well theres this guy...we'll just call him bill...well i rlly like bill and i think he likes me too...he's moving to florida and the end of the school year which is in june...im really upset b/c i rlly liked him...i want to leave him with a good im pression today so that he'll go crazy and like me even more...i was thinkin of my friend askin to take a picture of us and then after she'll be like wait one more..and when she counts to three ill kiss his cheak in the picture...what do u think?

yeah that soundz like a really sweet idea... & you could mail him a cute frame later to put the picture inside..

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Ok everyone. I a having a problem, and I don’t know how to deal with it. Last night I was out with the girls, and I was depressed, with absolutely no reason to be depressed, I even had an energy drink which normally makes me crazy, but I was all staring out the window. I am not having guy problems, cuz me and my bf have a past and are back together. And he kissed me for the first time a few days ago and I see him everyday and he makes me happy. My home life is better than It has been, I have NO REASON to be depressed, but I am. A friend said maybe I am so overwhelmed with love for him that my body is overtaken by the love and happiness that my body cant handle it and I go into a depression…is that possible? Or is there maybe something else causing it? Please help me in any way you can. If your advice is good, I will rate you.

Sometimes people are depressed for no reason... its a chemical imbalance in ur brain... it happenz to me sumtimes too... i get down for no reason... the best thing for you to do is see a therapist... if you want u can talk to ur counselor & they can set up an apointment if your school has one...

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i'm in eighth grade and my mom doesnt think girls my age should have boyfriends. im not really close with her either. and ive never had a bf either. i dont know what to tell her if i get asked out..? please help, thx !

the reason why she thinks girls ur age shouldnt date is because older=mature... Show her that u are mature & responsible... all the things she usually asks you to do... start doing them without being asked... try to get good grades... if she sees you are maturing & you get asked out... shes more likely to let u go...

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:/ well..ive been going through a lot lately. Im still not exactly sure whay happened...but one day after school my mom told me that dad went to the hospitol cuz hes depressed.A day later he got transferred to this phychiatric hospitol. (nothing like the padded walls where ppl are extremely crazy) but its a place for ppl who are depressed and stay there and see phychiatrists and stuff. I viisited him once but i acted coldly towards him...things were awkward plus i was scared. What can i do to make him feel better? I dont want to slip into depression also...how long could he be there for? Also..my Math A regents is coming up in jan. and i seriously need help in that...its jus so much goin on right now..

a LOT & i mean a LOT of people suffer from severe depression... sum of it is caused by sumthing... & sumtimes it happenz for no reason... you need to let ur dad know that ur there from him... concentrate on school... if u start to feel like u are depressed talk to a counselor... they'll help you out...

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ok. There's this guy I like let's put his name "Andy". And I really really like Andy. And my friend Daniella told Andy that I like him. So now Andy knows I like him. And now my whole church knows I like him. But the other day when Andy, Daniella, Danny, Luke, and I were hanging out, I told them I was over my crush on Andy. Then Andy goes, "Why the hell do girls say they're over a crush on one guy and onto to another crush? Is it to make their old crush jealous?" I got upset, slapped him, and ran into the church bathroom. Does he like me or is he just an a$$hole? Please answer. I'm a 13 year old girl and he's (Andy)a 18 year old boy (I dunno if that makes a difference.) I rate good! Signed- SaD gIrL

well hes 18... so i doubt that he was sayin that to be an immature asshole... maybe he said that cuz he had feelings for you... or he was just curious why girls jump from one guy to another... if u want to fix things wit him tell him u are sorry... tell him how you feel... & tell him that u like him ( if u still do )... ask him how he feels & whats on his mind... ur not going to figure anything out untill u talk to him

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How many hours of sleep should a 14 year old girl get each night?
Thanks--

about 8-10...

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I'm getting mysterious love notes.
On Monday I found one in my locker that says that "this boy" lovesme sosososososososo much. He also said that he's in two of my classes.

Then today (Thursday)I found another one in my locker. It said I was the most special, cutest, and sweetest person in the world. He said his love burns for me like the white hot embers of the sun.

What should I do about this?
I know all the boys that are in two of my classes, and I know none of them are guys that I'll never want to go out with. How do I handle this?

You should always get to know a guy before u turn him down... cuz u never know how much fun sum1 is untill u chill wit em... as soon as u find out who it is... tell him ur not sure how u feel about it him... chill wit him & if u dont end up liking him tell him str8 up...

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ok my boyfriend called at like 7-7:30pm last night and said he would call me back..at around 9-10 he normally calls to say goodnight an all that good stuff but he never called again last night and we only talked for like 30 sec. and today he had a f.ball game and he normally calls b4 then but we havent talked at all and if hes not gunna call b4 his game then he'll call in the morning and he didnt?!!.. whats does his "signs" mean???

It probably just means hes busy... you should pick up the phone & call him... ask him how his day has been... & if anything is wrong... You wont find out unless u ask him...

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Okay during the summer i lost my virginity to this guy, well tonite i went over to his house and we are like best friends now but i miss him and i really want him.. it makes me sad to see him cuz he is always talking to girls and never talks to me about what happened should i tell him how i feel or not

Of course u should tell him... u gave up sumthing really important for him... you have the rite to express the way u feel

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I was born studdering. I didn't say my first sentance until I was 3. I still have it but its not as bad. I usually do it when I get nervous or I don't talk for a while. What are some things I can do it get rid of it?? I've had speech therapists but that didn't help.

Read out loud... that should help... maybe u should see a different speech therapist...it will go away as u get older

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my friend got her braces off like 3 months ago and she never wears her retainer and shes like well its not like there gonna make me get braces again or something. has anyone ever had to GET THEM AGAIN or know someone who had to get them again? thanx

yes... if u dont wear ur retainer ur teeth will move baQ into place... its happened to a lot of my friends... many of them have gotten braces again... she should wear her retainer all the time for a yr... & once in a while after that... they give it to u for a purpose...

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Okay so I met this guy online like a couple weeks ago or so. And I really feel like I'm falling for him, I love him so much. Do you think this is crazy or actually possible that I can be in love with him?

sumtimes its better to get to know sum1 online... cuz u are judging them on their personality & not on their looks... on the other hand it could be really bad cuz they person may not be showing u their tru self thru a comp... & even if they are u cant get to know sum1 that well thru a comp... chatting... & chillen in real life are different... just like chillen wit sum & living with them is different... u should try not to fall for people thru the internet... it usually isnt a good idea

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how do u grow ur hair out fast?

Ive taken cosmetology... & sorry to say there really isnt any way to make ur hair grow fast... ur hair grows according to what stage it is in... it grows fast if its in the growing stage... & not so fast if its in the resting stage... yes believe it or not there are stages... the only way that ur hair will grow faster is if u have a cold or flu... what u can try doing is have sum1 massage almond oil into ur scalp... it will improve circulation & ur hair will grow out healthier... it may grow out faster... it may not... ooo & that whole pony tail stuff... ur hair doesnt grow faster when u put it in a pony tail... it just seems that way cuz u shed less hair since its tied up... trust me i learned that in cosmetology...

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I have a friend...let's call her "Megan". Megan and I are pretty cool. We hang out at school, between classes and after school on occasions. I have no problem going places with her, spending the night at her place...stuff like that. We're pretty good friends. She just has this really annoying habit of always trying to ruin someone else's good time.

Like, in an argument, when she's wrong and you're right, she'll scramble for any possible reason to say you're still wrong. Or if something good happens to you, she'll always say something to make you feel terrible about it. I hope that makes sense. It bothers me a lot and I've tried telling her it's annoying, but she still does it.

I don't want to stop being friends with her. She's cool most of the time. This is just starting to get to me. Why can't she let anyone else have a little sunshine sometimes? :(

soundz like sumthing is bothering her & shes takin it out on you... tell her that shes been acting weird lately... & is sumthing bothering her... let her know that you'll be there for her to help her if sumthing is up

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When i burn my music to a CD-RW, my computer closes the cd, there for making it a cd-r. how can i stop it from closing the cd?

it should give u that option... look around... and if u cant find it... than try another program

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Hey i was wondering if anyone knew of any good shampoos for curly hair. My hair is pretty soft but i want it to be really soft and for it to look soft and shiny. I tried dove and that works ok but if anyone knows of any good ones for curly hair..or just in general that'd great thnkx :-)

i used to have curly... & i noticed that using a certian shampoo doesnt really make much of a difference... ( i have also taken Cosmetology ) the key to get soft hair is conditioner... ALWAYS use a moisterising conditioner... & leave it in for like 5 mintes... ( sumtimes it helps if u leave it in for like half an hour ) so try doing that... & it should help... u should also try frizz ease... that helps reduce frizz but makes ur hair kindy greasy... that stuff is kinda expensive... theres another serum called Curls Up that u can try... it works just like frizz ease... it just cost less... you can get it from Wal*mart...

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hey ok my sisters 30 birthday is sunday. im going over to her house saturday because she just got married and shes having a wedding party and showing her video of the wedding and pictures! anyways, i have NO idea what to get her!! shes outgoing and she has blonde hair lol. she has 2 kids. and her husband has 3. umm she has 3 ear piercings, and she had a belly and nose piercing. i HARDLY EVER get to see her like once every 2 months. we talk alot tho. any good ideas? thanks.

well since she recently got married u can get her a decoration piece... or u can get her a cute belly ring, earings, a clubbing top, matching lamps, DVD player, DVD of a new movie, one of those bath sets with bath gel, lotion, soap, etc, or u can get her a CD,

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hey wuts up people my friend like this grl in my high school. He saiz shes nice and stuff like that but i never see him hanging out with her and i happen to be friends with her and she barely knows who he is. I think he just likes her because she is like the leader of the cheerleading squad or wutever its called. Someone give me a way to tell this kid hes retarded and he only like sher cuz shes a cheerlead in a *nice* way

Tell him that he barely knows her... & its not good to like sum1 without knowing them... you dont even know what they are like... sum people cant stand they way others act... regardless if that person is attractive or not... and that can be a big turn off... let him know all that... cuz once he gets to know her he might not end up liking her...

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