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I'm 16 years old and a junior in high school. I like giving advice so feel free to ask me any questions. Everybody has been through different situations and I could try and help you by what I've gone through. Ask away :)
Gender: Female
Member Since: November 13, 2006
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Last Update: October 30, 2010
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18/F

Hi. I have a problem with guys. They just don't want to seem to date me or even hang out with me. I have never had a boyfriend, a kiss, a hug, or even held hands with a guy that I am not related to. I am now a freshman in college. I have been told I am cute/pretty/hott, I have a good figure, and my personality is great. (I hate saying this, even on here, because I'm not comfortable taking compliments or even sharing them, even with anonymous strangers.) I have made a great group of friends here at college which is new for me too. I have never had such a great group of friends who actually care about me like they do. I just don't understand why guys don't want to date me. Is there anything I can do to catch a guy's attention? You might want to know that I am rather shy and dress kind of conservatively (but I'm not afraid to show a little clevage). Can anybody help me please understand why I haven't had a boyfriend even though people keep telling me I'm so great??

Thanks in advance!! :D (link)
Well I'm sure there are guys that would want to date you. If you start to get interested in a guy then try to find some way to talk to them and be cool with them and maybe become friends. Usually, when you're friends with a guy and you guys are into each other, a relationship would be better. Don't change who you are for any guy though. Pretty much, be yourself and show guys that you are worth their time. Don't stress about it too much. Good luck!


We broke up earlier so he can get back on track with his life/career. He thought a relationship was a distraction. His family doesn't like me, so when they found out we broke up. They were happy. They thought I was a bad influence on him, because for some reason he would do stuff for me and not for them. I guess... They're intimidated by me? By the power I have towards their son? But anyways, he recently told me that he still loves me because ever since we broke up he couldn't stop thinking about me. We decided to be in a "secret" relationship, but towards his parents he's single?? So we're keeping it away from his parents, and we're limiting the time we see each other. Then, just now... I told him I was scared he was going to leave me again, he said he's trying really hard to regain his feelings back towards me. What? Who tries to regain their feelings back for someone? Does that even work? I know he needs time to get everything organized.

My friends say that he's obviously confused about his life, but he obviously still really likes me because I'm his first personal girlfriend that he actually loved. And he didn't want to lose that, especially since he keeps calling me nicknames and hugs me, kisses me, holds my hand in front of other people.

But the one thing that confuses me, regaining his feelings? He said, yes he still loves me, that's why he said he was going to come back to me. Uhhhh... (link)
He's obviously confused. I think he still does care about you and like you. Just give him time and hopefully he'll figure out what he wants. It'd be tough on the guy if his parents didn't approve of his girlfriend. So that weight is also on him.
I think the whole regaining his feelings would confuse me as well. He said he still loves you but he's probably just confused about what he wants and what he needs. Well, just give him some time to figure everything out and don't bug him about it. If he wants to be with you, then he will.


I've always claimed to be a Christian, and I do know some basics like everyone does.

However, for the first time tomorrow I am attending Sunday school and a service. In the past I had just prayed and the like at home. I'm honestly a bit scared, because I know I don't have as much knowledge as I should. It's so hard for me to remember everything.

I don't want to be completely lost in the Sunday school lessons, so can anyone help me by giving me quick lessons/things to read that most people would expect me to know? (link)
Don't worry about all that. No one is gonna expect you to know a lot anyway. It's not like they are gonna come up to you and start asking you questions. It's good that you pray and all that. Church is mostly gonna teach you about the Bible and the lessons in it. So if you do have any questions you can just ask. They won't think any lower of you because you don't know much. Majority of churches are welcome to new people. They don't expect people to know everything about the Bible because they are Christian. So don't worry about it, you'll be fine :)


so my boyfriend and i have been going out for about three months and on friday he tells me that he's going out with friends for the weekend so he thinks something is gonna happen( meaning he might mess around with another chick) and he says if anything happens he will be honest with me about it so i'm like wtf is he being honest saying he cares or is he just taking me for granted
please help (link)
Wow..he kinda sounds like a jerk. He's telling you he might cheat on you ahead of time. I think he is being honest, but the honesty is about him telling you he's gonna be with you but hook up with other people. I don't think you'd want a guy like that. Find someone better. Good luck!


Lately I have begun to lose faith in my religion and it's starting to bother me because I feel less protected, less comfortable. Kind of alone? What do you do when you lose faith in your religion? Any tips?
(I won't say my religion because I don't particularly think it matters... I'm sure a lot of people from a lot of different religions lose faith after a bit, but come back to it.) (link)
Lots of people start losing their faith. I can use the example of Christianity. People start pulling away from God because they start losing faith. They don't feel close to God and they don't read their Bible. So like the person below me said, get into whatever you do for your religion. You shouldn't put your faith into actual religion. I don't know what religion you are but like if you believe in God then you should put your faith in Him than the actual religion. But you get what I mean. Good luck!


I really don't know what to do anymore. This year started out a little bad at school, but I started pulling up my grades and doing better and I'm almost done making up the classes I failed last year and I'm doing this mostly because my mom wants me to. (No, I'm not doing this for myself, otherwise, I wouldn't be doing it at all.)
My mom only nods and says 'good job'. Nothing much else. If she's not off on her own, she's screaming at me, which doesn't help.
And (Yes, I posted something a while ago about a doctor's appointment) now my arms are going numb, from the wrist to the elbow. I know writing all day every day for the past 5 years has something to do with it, but I think the stress is adding to it. My school friends aren't helping at all either and in fact making it worse.
I really don't know what to do and I've been thinking some things that I really don't want to think about. I really need help, please! (link)
You can make it through this. At least you are doing this for your mom but you should also do this for yourself. I'm pretty sure you know this, but in the long run it will be soo much better because you tried. Your mom could just be looking out for you because she knows it is just gonna get harder the older you get. Hang in there and focus on your future. Just because your mom says good job doesn't mean she doesn't care. My parents don't say anything to me when I do good, but if I do bad, I'm in soo much trouble. You'll be ok. I really don't know what to say about your arms but maybe try and find some way to relieve that stress. Find some ways to relax. Good luck!


Hi, Ive broken up with my boyfriend recently (about 2 months ago) and im having a really hard time dealing with it. He has a drinking problem and is not very "trustworthy" when it comes to faithfulness. Of course he's begged for second (and third) chances, all which ive given to him, and now he wants another one. Im being firm by saying no, and now he is turning it around on me saying he's "tried" and thats it. All he ever wants to do is "SAY" he's sorry. He never wants to "DO" anything to show me. He said nothing he ever says is good enough for me. Please help :( (link)
You've already given him chances. Yes, forgive him. But don't take this guy back. You've already made your decision and if he is not trustworthy, he's not trustworthy. You already answered your question. Don't deal with him anymore, you deserve way better. You know when it's time to let go. :)


ive been cheated on and lied to and promised it wouldnt happen and i dont know if it is happening, i dont know what to do. i just want things to work after 3years. i feel like if he wanted to be single and do his own thing he has the option and yet it seems like he stays and doesnt tell me everything and i don't how to trust and let go. i really want to, i want to try but its hard. (link)
You need to sit down and talk to this guy. If you tell him that you want all this to stop and he does, then it is all good. If he doesn't, you need to let him go. You deserve soo much better than that. Everybody does. Find yourself someone better who will love you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Good luck!


I am 16 years old female. It's my sophomore year of highschool and I am becoming depressed. I have a younger brother and sister that are twins. They are freshman in highschool and i hate it. Exspecially since my sister is like a mini me, only people think shes prettier and it just seems like shes better than me at everything. Like school, sports ect. We both hangout with the same type of friends. Sometimes I feel like my friends like her better than me. During my freshman year in highschool the upperclassman guys all thought i was really cute and were trying to get to know me and stuff. Now it seems like they would rather talk/hangout with her and not only is it embaressing but it really hurts. I am already selfconsious about my looks as it is. I even left school one day crying because someone tried to give me a compliment but it turned into a bigger insult by saying alot of people think my sisters prettier than me. It's making me want to disapear. I dont know what to do anymore. Please help me :'( (link)
I totally get how you'd feel this way. It makes complete sense. Well your friends love you and it may seem like they like your sister better but I mean they have known you longer. If it bothers you so much then find some more friends. Friends that aren't always around your sister. If it would help any you should talk to your friends and tell them how you are feeling about your sister. The guys will come and go. I doubt they think you're not pretty. I mean yeah, they are most likely thinking your sister is pretty too. But do you think what they thought of you changed? Doubt that, you're still a really pretty girl.
Well don't focus on this kind of stuff. Boys aren't gonna be there forever and your sister will be. Don't be jealous of her because there are things you are better at than your sister. Love your sister and enjoy her while you can while you're young. She looks up to you so be happy about that. Good luck!


I've known this kid since 5th grade and i used to have a huge crush on him. But now we're in 11th grade and we actually hang out, he lives a few blocks away and he walks to meet me all the time. I slept at my friends house one night and slept in his arms, I always sit on his lap even though theres an open seat next to us, and sometimes we'll hold hands across intersections (like we're 5 years old, but its cute :) lol) The night i fell asleep in his arms, we talked for 6 1/2 hours straight about anything, and we weren't even bored. Our conversations were always interesting, and we dont even have to be kissing or anything, we can just hang out, cause we havent even kissed yet.

He recently told one of my good friends that he likes me, and he wanted him to ask me if i liked him too. I do, kind of. But the only thing holding me back is one of my really good friends. She's dated him on and off for a few years and they finally officially broke up a month or two ago. She's really broken up about it and still really likes him, but he couldn't care less, cause that's just how he is (and i understand that cause im similar to him in that way). I feel really bad that he likes me, and i kinda like him back, because of my good friend. I dont want to hurt her feelings cause she's always sooo nice. But that's what he didnt like about her. She was too nice. I don't know what to do. I'm starting to really like him, and get over my ex boyfriend, but i just dont want to hurt my friend.

does anyone know what i should do? (link)
I totally agree with the person below. You should talk to your friend about this. Make sure she is totally ok about the two of you. If she's not then what do you care about more? Friendship or this guy? I'm hoping you're friends but it is your choice. But think about it for a good while that what you are choosing to do is for the best. You don't want to lose a friend over a guy do you?
I would just talk to her and see how that goes. Good luck!


If I have sex before marriage, even if it's with the man I love and no I will marry and spend the rest of my life with.. where would that leave me with god?
Hell?
(link)
Ok so a sin is a sin. Everyone sins. It is your choice. It's good that you are at least planning to spend the rest of your life with this guy.
You won't go to hell because of a sin. Jesus already died for our sins so we can go to heaven. The price is already paid. God won't turn His back on you. Don't believe any of that. God is always with you. It will hurt Him though, you know, say when you're a teenager and you go off and do something bad, you're parents will be upset but they still love you but they would be hurt.
So yeah, it's simple but it's your choice in the end.


on the inside, i am an insecure person. people who really truly know me know that, many do not. i am constantly saying negative things about myself. people think that im doing it to get positive feedback and responses. to me, ive always put myself down since i can remember. the only reason i do it is because it makes me feel comfortable to point out my flaws before someone else has time to criticize them. how can i try to control myself from saying these things. its basically a reflex at this point. and i have been working on my insecurities over the years, and although they have dwindled, when it comes down to it, i am just a self conscious person at my core. basically, i just need some advice. how do i stop myself from criticizing myself openly? how can i ever really like myself? thanks (link)
Well you just need to teach yourself not to say things like that. Do it for the sake of other people and for yourself.
There is one girl I know, she talks negatively about herself all the time. It can get really annoying because she isn't that bad. It can bring people down too. Just your attitude alone can bring people down and effect them so alot of people need to watch themselves.
I'm not saying you're annoying or anything, just making sure you know this before it gets to the point of too much.
Everybody is self conscious and has things about them they'd like to change or don't like. You just need to deal with them and accept that you're not perfect and no one else is. Just think to yourself the good things and just try to teach yourself to watch what you say. Good luck!


Okay so I know that whole "it's only awkward if you make it awkward" phrase will probably apply here, but anyhow: I have a crush on a guy in my class. I'm 99% sure that he likes me back (he constantly stares at me and does all that body language stuff). But the problem here is that I never really get a chance to talk to him. I say little more than "hi" to him everyday, somethings a few sentences if I'm lucky. But online I've talked to him for hours. I'm afraid that I'm getting into the bad habit of not talking to him in person and that it might become awkward? We're going to the same party next week and I want to know how to talk to him without being all weird. He always makes me feel nervous at first, but when we start talking it becomes easier. Any tips would help. Also, what should I wear? It's not really formal but I want to look cute :). Thanks! (link)
Well I used to be the same way with the guys I liked. But you've already talked to him alot online so he's probably also wondering why you guys don't talk so much in person. So you guys should and I'm pretty sure you both want to. So this is probably obvious, but it did work for me. I tried talking to him like he was one of my friends, not the guy that I have a huge crush on. So try that. Since you guys are going to the same party it's an even better chance to talk to him. So before this party comes around talk to him a little bit more during the week so it wouldn't be ask awkward as it could be. Don't stress about it or worry about it too much because it will show through and make you even more nervous. It's ok if awkward moments come around, just act cool about it.
And about what to wear, just wear something that you think is really cute and you feel completely comfortable in. If you feel pretty, you'll feel more confident in talking to him.


Hi (link)
Well I guess you're pretty lucky you only have a year of PE. I had to take it for two years. Honestly, I liked PE because it was more of an easy A.
I wasn't the star player at all either. I can be quiet and shy and but if I'm with my friends I can be completely normal and everything.
Don't stress over something like this though, you're gonna have better things to stress over and PE shouldn't be one of them. Being accepted can seem hard but it's only for a year. You'll get used to it. I'm pretty sure you'll make new friends too. This is actually a pretty good opportunity to make new friends! The beginning of sophomore year I didn't have any friend in my PE class but I ended up making some really good friends. I'm sure you're not the only one who isn't the best so don't feel like you're the only one who isn't that athletic and all.


I think I may have blown things with this guy. We dated for about 3 months and he lives in a different town anywhere from 20 to 30 minutes away, depending on traffic. It made it difficult to have a relationship since we couldn’t see each other, so I ended up breaking up with him. He had broken up with me once before, but only for like 3 days; he ended up driving his broken-ass car to come get me because he wanted me back. After that, the stress on our relationship continued anyway. He never really talked to me. I’m not clingy or possessive, so I’d never bother him like a crazy bitch, but it secretly drove me crazy that I’d go several days without hearing from him. Him not talking to me on a regular basis is why I ultimately decided to break up with him. I made several attempts to ask why, and what I could do to fix whatever I was doing “wrong”. It never went anywhere. After I broke up with him, I told him I still wanted to keep in touch so that maybe later on things would work out between us. I have insanely strong feelings for him. I’ve known him for about 3 years now, and I’ve always liked him and he’s always liked me too. So now that we’ve dated, my feelings have sky-rocketed pretty much. We’ve continued to talk, but I ended up wanting him back, and I told him a few days ago that I did. I did the whole throw-yourself-out-there technique that most movies portray, and it totally DID NOT work. All it did was push him away, and I even think it made me look a little “psycho”, if you know what I mean by that. I just wanted to tell him exactly how I felt in hopes that he’d be absolutely honest with me about what he thought about it. He said “you’re so dramatic”. It was just my way of revealing myself completely, and opening up because I’ve never felt like this about a guy and I’m so afraid of losing it. I feel like I’ll never find this feeling again. My past relationships have been so bad I’m trying to protect myself from things repeating. Maybe that’s a factor in the way I’ve been acting. So I waited a day or two after that to give him a break from me, and I apologized. I was totally genuine in what I said, I really meant it. I said “Can we start over? I’m really sorry for forcing my past experiences onto you. The way I’ve been acting lately isn’t like me at all, I just want a fresh new start” and he said “Let me think about it”. So I’m not going to talk to him at all. I don’t want to do anything to ruin my chances; I’m giving him all the space he needs to think about it and wait until, or IF, he talks to me. I wish he’d just tell me what’s going on in his head instead of one-word, or one-sentence answers; I hate that.
But be honest, from the information I’ve given have I blown it? Is he at least thinking about me, or considering my apology to some extent? I’m open in fixing in myself whatever need be fixed. I won’t change myself, but I want to better myself. If there’s anything I can do to change for the better and lose old baggage from past relationships so things can work with him, I’ll do it. No hesitation. I’m even okay with just being friends for now. I did say “start over” and I mean just that.
The suspense is driving me insane, please ease my suffering if you can.
(link)
There are several different things you can do here. It's all your choice though. I've had this kind of problem with a guy before too, I gave him space but it never went anywhere. I decided to not text him or anything and let him text me when he was ready. I felt really pathetic cause I felt like I was waiting around for him. Really bad idea. Don't do that because if he doesn't come around, then you just feel really down and like you wasted your time on nothing.
My own personal opinion is to move on from this guy. Which I know will be really hard but I'm pretty sure you can do it.
You can message him if you want but if you're already feeling like you're pushing him away, you don't want to do it more right? You might just feel upset after you do it if he doesn't respond the way you want him to.
I honestly don't think you have blown it completely. You don't sound obsessive or anything. I'm pretty sure he thinks about you and could be considering your apology. I don't know the guy so I wouldn't know what's up with him.
So my advice is move on or at least don't wait around for him. You already told him that you want to start over. You did your part, you said your apology. It's his turn now. So whatever happens should be for the best. I doubt he will be the only guy you'd have strong feelings for. Don't worry about that.


19/f. i can't believe im sitting here complaining about this. but anyways i was friends with a girl. let's call her Jane. Jane and i worked together, and we had a math class semester. we hung out for a while and i told her a few embarrassing secrets about me. Well anyways she was rude to me sometimes and i was too and it kind of hurt so i told her and she said she was joking and she didn't mean to hurt me. well anyways Jane and i spent two weekends in a row. then she had to go to San Antonio so we didn't hangout that weekend. the next weekend i asked her if she wanted to hangout but she said her mom took her phone, so i said okay. Then i got a text from her phone saying why don't you go to Dairy Queen and buy a hamburger. And i had told her about this boy i met there and went on a date with and we hooked up, and then she started talking to him on facebook because she wanted to see who he was, so i was like fine, and she became friends with him. and that text was a reference to me being skinny obviously. I asked her about that text and she told me that Fred did it. She said he took her phone and was texting people. I was mad but then i got over it. I felt stupid though for telling her my secrets. then i asked her like maybe a few weeks later if she wanted to hangout and she said she doesn't know what she's doing. but then i saw her facebook status and some girl asked her if she wanted to hangout on Friday and she said yes. now i had a problem with this for a while but then i said whatever they're other people out there and we hung out a lot anyways. so Jane has this gay friend she hung out with a lot. At school he saw me and said oh hey your Jane's friend and i was like yeah and felt awkward, because i hadn't talked to them in so long, and i was mad because i remembered that text he sent. I wasn't sure if it was him, but anyways today Fred saw me again and Jane was with him and he said really loudly hey Jane look it's your best friend and she turned around and i was like hey and i felt weird and Jane just started laughing in my face. and i was so embarrassed i walked away and she was like um okay? and i heard her saying something but fred was like shh. so i don't know what her problem is. i mean i hadn't seen her in so long and when she saw me she was so rude. i mean she had no reason to be. so why would she do that? i mean she had no reason what so ever. (link)
Well it's kinda hard to tell about her but if you're unsure that she is trustworthy or saying things behind your back then you should talk to her. If she tells you it was a misunderstanding then see where it goes from there. I mean us girls usually jump to conclusions on about pretty much everything so who knows what really happened. So talk to her. If she told you it was a misunderstanding but still acted the same, ect. Then she isn't a really good friend. I mean you could either just stop being her friend or just have her as a friend but not as close as you used to be and not spilling all your secrets to her. So I hope everything works out!


My boyfriend is a good guy, but he does a lot of stuff that I'm really not okay with. I've tried talking to him about it, but the thing is, he honestly doesn't see any of it as a big deal. He thinks I'm overreacting.

First, we hadn't been dating very long when a guy he was friends with made a joke about him having an STD (my boyfriend has slept with a lot of women). My boyfriend got upset, said that he may have acted like he was joking but he really wasn't, and said he didn't want me to talk to him anymore because it would cause problems (he doesn't have an STD, we got tested). So, I stopped talking to this guy. My boyfriend works with a girl who used to be my best friend, but went around saying I was a whore and I cheated on my ex with two different guys (totally not true). Naturally, I was mad and we don't talk anymore, but my boyfriend talks to her all the time at work. He says it's because they work together and he doesn't want her going to the HR department all the time, which I understand, but it's not like they're required to talk at their job, and if there were just talking about work it might be okay, but he's told me some of the things they talk about and it's like they're old friends or something.

Second, he has this gorgeous ex girlfriend. He talks about her a lot, always says how perfect she is. He said they broke up because he didn't feel good enough for her and never really felt comfortable around her, but they were really good friends before they dated, so they stayed friends. I have no problems with them being friends, but he's ALWAYS talking about how perfect she is. He tells her he loves her and he misses her and she's so amazing, and he never says those things to me. I guess I'm just jealous, but it hurts to hear him say those things to her when he won't say them to me, his girlfriend. He's always there for her when she needs him, but it's like anytime I try to talk to him about stuff that's bothering me, he acts like it's no big deal and I'm overreacting. He tells me he doesn't want to be with her, but I just can't help but get upset over it.

Sorry for ranting, but I'm really confused. If I'm overreacting, please tell me, because I really don't know. (link)
I don't think you're overreacting. I mean maybe the girl at work wasn't too bad, but I wouldn't be happy either. I definitely wouldn't be happy with him talking to his ex girlfriend like that. If he won't even say those things to you and keeps telling her all this stuff, then he isn't worth it. I'd break up with him, if not, at least talk to him. If he just doesn't listen, then it really is not worth it. You deserve a guy who would tell YOU how wonderful and amazing you are and be there for you when you need him. Dump this guy and show him what he's missing. You deserve soo much better.


Ok well here's the problem first I don't have any friends I don't hang out and my dog is my best friend .and you are probably thinking what the hell .but I think I am antisocial .I don't have nothing in comon with people .actualy people eritate me its like what people do doesn't make any since. So I just keep to myself I can't say that I'm happy but its just the way that I am so does this make me antisocial ? No clue !! (link)
I wouldn't consider you antisocial. Cause I think you want friends, right? Nothing is wrong with having a dog as a best friend :) They're awesome but having regular friends is good too. I guess it seems like the people around you irritate you because you don't really have anything in common with them. You should find something people that have the same interests as you so you might not find them as irritating.


I haven't been drinking enough water lately and I feel like I'm really dehydrated and my skin feels dry even. I was wondering if there was anything I could drink or do that would get me hydrated fast? When I asked my mom she looked at me like I was crazy so maybe water is the only thing but I wanted to ask you guys first. Thankyou (link)
Drinking more water. Also gatorade would be good because of the electrolytes.
I have a friend who gets dehydrated really fast and she gets dizzy and feels like she is about to pass out. She had to go to the doctors for that and they found that something was wrong. Well, she was on the verge of being there. I forgot what the name was for it..but she was almost at that point. So maybe see the doctor if it gets worse and keep drinking water.


Okay, so my mom just saw me publicly swear in a comment of a picture I was tagged in and now she's all up in my grill because I said the f word on Facebook. Aside from this, it's really annoying how all my family members are friends with me on Facebook. I seriously don't know what to do. I feel like I'm choking. I'm thinking about making a new account and just add family members there, but that'd be too obvious. What's the right thing to do?? Please help! I'd appreciate it bigtime.:( (link)
Just like the others said before. Don't use it. Facebook is a public place, obviously, and if you don't want certain people seeing what you say then just don't say it.




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