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Am I overreacting, or does he just not understand?
My boyfriend is a good guy, but he does a lot of stuff that I'm really not okay with. I've tried talking to him about it, but the thing is, he honestly doesn't see any of it as a big deal. He thinks I'm overreacting.
First, we hadn't been dating very long when a guy he was friends with made a joke about him having an STD (my boyfriend has slept with a lot of women). My boyfriend got upset, said that he may have acted like he was joking but he really wasn't, and said he didn't want me to talk to him anymore because it would cause problems (he doesn't have an STD, we got tested). So, I stopped talking to this guy. My boyfriend works with a girl who used to be my best friend, but went around saying I was a whore and I cheated on my ex with two different guys (totally not true). Naturally, I was mad and we don't talk anymore, but my boyfriend talks to her all the time at work. He says it's because they work together and he doesn't want her going to the HR department all the time, which I understand, but it's not like they're required to talk at their job, and if there were just talking about work it might be okay, but he's told me some of the things they talk about and it's like they're old friends or something.
Second, he has this gorgeous ex girlfriend. He talks about her a lot, always says how perfect she is. He said they broke up because he didn't feel good enough for her and never really felt comfortable around her, but they were really good friends before they dated, so they stayed friends. I have no problems with them being friends, but he's ALWAYS talking about how perfect she is. He tells her he loves her and he misses her and she's so amazing, and he never says those things to me. I guess I'm just jealous, but it hurts to hear him say those things to her when he won't say them to me, his girlfriend. He's always there for her when she needs him, but it's like anytime I try to talk to him about stuff that's bothering me, he acts like it's no big deal and I'm overreacting. He tells me he doesn't want to be with her, but I just can't help but get upset over it.
Sorry for ranting, but I'm really confused. If I'm overreacting, please tell me, because I really don't know.
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Okay. Go ahead and read this last paragraph you wrote.
"Second, he has this gorgeous ex girlfriend. He talks about her a lot, always says how perfect she is. He said they broke up because he didn't feel good enough for her and never really felt comfortable around her, but they were really good friends before they dated, so they stayed friends. I have no problems with them being friends, but he's ALWAYS talking about how perfect she is. He tells her he loves her and he misses her and she's so amazing, and he never says those things to me. I guess I'm just jealous, but it hurts to hear him say those things to her when he won't say them to me, his girlfriend. He's always there for her when she needs him, but it's like anytime I try to talk to him about stuff that's bothering me, he acts like it's no big deal and I'm overreacting. He tells me he doesn't want to be with her, but I just can't help but get upset over it."
THIS IS NOT OKAY. There is nothing at all about this situation that indicates you are over reacting in anyway. If anything you aren't reacting enough or even at all. You need to have a serious talk with him about this. Let him know he's wrong and out of line by telling this crap to his ex and that it hurts. Even if he was telling the same things to it still is never okay to tell your ex these things. If his reaction is anything less than him telling you he's sorry and he'll stop...dump him! Because honestly it sounds like hes using you as just a rebound and you're just there until something better comes along or his ex decides she wants him back. If she decides she does, I can almost guarantee you will be left in a trail of dust.
Screw this guy! You deserve somebody that isn't still caught up with their ex and is dedicated to you. Why waste your time? There are plenty of better guys out there. Have fun and don't stress over this jerk.
Good luck!
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He's an asshole. You should break up with him.
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I don't think you're overreacting. I mean maybe the girl at work wasn't too bad, but I wouldn't be happy either. I definitely wouldn't be happy with him talking to his ex girlfriend like that. If he won't even say those things to you and keeps telling her all this stuff, then he isn't worth it. I'd break up with him, if not, at least talk to him. If he just doesn't listen, then it really is not worth it. You deserve a guy who would tell YOU how wonderful and amazing you are and be there for you when you need him. Dump this guy and show him what he's missing. You deserve soo much better.
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No... I think you know you are not being treated very well. You've picked the wrong guy. He obviously has feelings for his ex and doesn't appreciate you like you deserve. It sounds like its time to move on and take this as a lesson learned.
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you're not overreacting actually i think you know the truth but you dont want to admit it but it happens to most girls the fact that your boyfriend still talks about his ex and says how perfect she is says that he's not over her and if she gives him another chance he would take it with open arms with his friends making jokes like that shows they have no respect for you meaning that he bad mouths you behind your back its pretty clear that this guy is gonna cause you alot of pain so dump his ass before it gets worse i know its hard but it will really benefit you in the long run
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