how do i get over everything thats happened to me in my relationship?
Question Posted Monday October 11 2010, 7:29 pm
ive been cheated on and lied to and promised it wouldnt happen and i dont know if it is happening, i dont know what to do. i just want things to work after 3years. i feel like if he wanted to be single and do his own thing he has the option and yet it seems like he stays and doesnt tell me everything and i don't how to trust and let go. i really want to, i want to try but its hard.
Beana1981 answered Monday October 11 2010, 11:05 pm: Girlfriend, I am going through almost the EXACT same thing right now! The lies never stop! I would also say sit him down and talk it over with him. Ive tried rationalizing with mine, it just doesnt work. I hope you have better luck. If that doesnt work, then you need to get away, cause if you catch him lying again and again, and you continuously take him back, whats to stop him? He sees you will keep giving in, so he will keep doing it, but next time, he'll cover his tracks better. 3 years is a long time and Im pretty sure you mean alot to him after that long of a time so I think if you sit him down and just lay it out and BE FIRM, it may scare him enough to change. Unfortunately I did not have the same luck with mine, but hopefully your guy isnt as big a JERK as mine is! :) Whats kinda funny is I can sit here and give you advice, but yet I cant take my own for myself. Good luck! [ Beana1981's advice column | Ask Beana1981 A Question ]
Sweet_LiL_Angel answered Monday October 11 2010, 9:59 pm: It is hard. My husband lied to be. talked to his ex on the phone. etc. I sat him down and I told him if the lies did not stop if he didn't start telling me the truth then I was done with our marriage and i was going to move out. I told him if things still didnt change i wasnt going to try and work things out. You cant make someone change if they dont want to. it does not matter how hard you try. tell him how you feel tell him you want to trust him you want to believe him but you dont feel he is taking you seriously. then you have to try hard to not accuse him because if you do he wont try. if you truely have a gut feeling after trying all of this it just isnt worth it. 3 years it alot to throw away but its a lifes lesson [ Sweet_LiL_Angel's advice column | Ask Sweet_LiL_Angel A Question ]
snowboardbabe answered Monday October 11 2010, 9:32 pm: well , unfortauntley it is hard , and theres no question about it , but hey do not worry about it , it is normal to feel tat way , and it will , but you should sit down and think about it , if it seems he isn't telling you everything , sit down with him and see what is going on , the best way is to talk it out , instead of thinking and questioning about it , if you really want to , then do it and it is hard to do that , but trust me if you really put yourself to do it , I am sure you will be able to succeed with it , and let it work , but you have to be able to trust and let go. Trusting an individual is really hard so you have to have a backup plan to be able to like not get hurt , and letting go , you have to be around your friends , and be able to cope with yourself. If you want to let go , get into the habit with other guys and get that ONE guy off your mind , surround yourself with things that make you happy , you need to give yourself time , because if you don't you will just end up getting hurt again.
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