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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

im a teenage boy, and i go to highschool full of hot girls. and since i see like 50 hot girls in a 6-hour time period at school, all that horniness builds up and i go home instantly and masturbate. And this happens everyday. Is this normal? And is it normal for me to imagine a specific girl at school when i am masturbating? Is this all normal?

According to a recent study I read the average teenage boy masturbates between 3 and 5 times a day. so there is nothing wrong with your masturbating once a day.

Hi im 14 and im 30 weeks pregnant , due in about 5 weeks. My boyfriend dumped me when i found out so hes out of the picture. But this guy ive been seeing for 2 months now says he is fully commited to my baby and is willing to be a father. Should i trust him?

You're 14 and 5 weeks away from bringing a child into this world.

If you were that immature to have sex and not take the proper precautions to prevent a pregnancy; how do you expect anyone to believe you have the maturity to raise a child. The question you should be asking is not whether this boy should be a father to your child; you should be asking what are the best options you have for the best interest of the child.

Included in the information with this question is what your parents are saying? What the biological fathers parents are saying? What you have done to make sure the biological father lives up to his responsibilities should you have your parents support for keeping this baby?

I see none of this, only should a guy, age unknown be allowed to be the father. What you should be doing is seeing a lawyer to either arrange for adoption, which would involve the cooperation of the biological father I believe, since he is known to you, or having the legal paper work done to insure that the biological father is legally bound to his responsibilities as the father.

Hey guys i want to put some post its on my bathroom mirror with little inspirational sayings or something to do with positive thinking. Just little reminders. So far i have "positive attitude creates positive results" "Where there is no struggle there is no strength" and "obstacles are what you see when you lose sight of your goal" Does anybody have any other suggestions.. Your help is greatly appreciated and i do rate :)

Here is one that I have used for years:

"The only person that I have to be better than is the person I a today."

What this means is that it matters not what the other person does or has. It only matters that I improve myself; that I learn something today that will make me a better person tomorrow.

I used this saying in my sales career. My managers always said you needed to sell something everyday. I didn't worry about selling something everyday, I knew I would meet or exceed my quotas'. I wanted to learn something new every day. Mostly I wanted to learn something new about my customers that I could use to sell what I was selling. If I learned something new then I was a better person when I returned home then when I left in the morning.

Please do not answer with "go see a doctor" because I am planning on going as soon as I can make an appt, I just want to see if anyone has had these same symptoms or if someone knows what I could have. Today all of a sudden I was suffering from severe upper left abdominal pain, like a little bit under the ribs and on the side. It was probably the worst abdomen pain I have ever had, and it was extremely hard to get up or walk around. They took me to the school health clinic where the doctor, who I feel did not examine me very well beforehand, injected me with Sertal Forte complex (thats what its called in spanish, I dont know if there is a different brand in english) And that seemed to help a little bit, my left side is still pretty sore but it took the edge off. I have also been dizzy and faint, very pale and I have had a bad headache all day. The doctor said it was probably colitis, but from what I have heard colitis is most common with diarrea and I havent had any of that. Is there a possibility that it could be something else more severe? I am not sure if I should miss another day of school to go to the doctor, but during these weeks of exams I am worried I will have another attack where the pain is so severe that I can't even walk. Does anyone have an idea of what this could be? Thanks in advance.

What I found when I googled Sertal Forte complex was that it is; Therapeutic effect: Antispasmodic.

If I were to make a guess, based on the fact that you said it had some helpful effect is; the doctor treated you for some type of muscle cramp or spasm but I'm guessing. Your doing the right thing by going to your own doctor who knows you best.

Since I am only guessing with the what of the cause of your pain is. Where you doing anything that might have caused you to pull an upper abdominal muscle or chest wall muscle?

Is mastrbating bad for grls nd boys of age 16+??

Their is nothing wrong with masturbation. According to a survey I read over 90% of us, this includes us adults, masturbate. Masturbation is a safe and secure way to way for a man or women to relieve sexual tension and explore their own bodies at the same time.

The only time masturbation is wrong is if it becomes all encompassing. Meaning you spend all of your time masturbating to the extend that you are not socializing, doing homework or anything else. The average teenage male may masturbate 3 to 5 times a day. I don't have any statistics for females but I would guess that would be slightly lower than the male statistics.

My thoughts on why some people feel it is bad or say religion forbids it is: They say that sex is meant for procreation and not for pleasure. One masturbates for the release of sexual tension and pleasure. Which leads to the second reason; once you feel the pleasure in releasing the sexual tension you want to move on to sexual intercourse. This does not always have to be the case. Masturbation can also be seen as an alternative to intercourse and usually is so.

Heeeey,

i am 13 years old and i am quite small and 'petite'.

i really want to start my first period as all my friends have. i have had all the signs but it just doesnt seem to be coming. does anyone know anyways to make it come faster. now, i dont want any crap like 'it'll come when its ready' or 'your mad! why would you want it? its horrible!!' because i know i will probs regret it when it comes but i just want it now!!

please heeellppp meee...

thank you =)

Julie75 has given you about the best answer. You cannot rush the stages of puberty. When your body is ready and the right hormones are in place what is suppose to happen will happen.

Your Breast start to grow on when signalled by certain genetics, the womanly curves start to form and baby fat reduces on Que and your period will start when your body is ready, not before.

If you are concerned then you should talk to your doctor. At 13 years old and not yet having your period is probably not high on your doctors list of things to be concerned about.

My sister was 15 before she blossomed as it was called back in our day. I remember racing home in a fire truck shortly after she did get her period because she was doubled over with cramps. We used the fire truck to race her to the hospital; we didn't want to wait for the ambulance and she was my sister after all.

To this day I don't know why she constantly harped to our mother about not having her period for once she got it she had the worst experience of her life. Until she had her first child her period would just about incapacitate her.

My advise: Enjoy your freedom from cramps and everything else that comes with a woman's period. Once you get your period you will have to deal with it, hopefully for the next 35 to 40 years.

Hi,Im Gracie and I have a twin sister (idenical) named Melissa or Lissa for short and I have an older brother name Matt, he's 16 and he's a jerk. Me and Lissa are 13. My mom left us a few months after we were born and Matt was 3 I think. My dad says that mom was real depressed, he said that lots of moms get depressed when they have babies especially if there're young. Mom was 22 when she had me and Lissa and he was 25. So that means Mom was 19 when she had my older brother Matt and dad was 22. I try to ask him more about her but he gets upset so I stopped. Me and Lissa were born 8 weeks early so we had to stay at the hospital longer than most babies, Mom left a couple of months after we got out. Does being depressed make moms leave? What makes moms depressed? Do they stay depressed for a long time? Can they get better? I think dads mad with mom for leaving,he doesnt really talk about her. All I kno is that her name was Amanda or Mandy, and she had brown hair and big dark blue eyes like me and Lissa. Matt has eyes like us but blond hair like daddy. Do you think that me and lissa are gonna be depressed when we have kids too? Dad says we wont but hes never been pregnant so how can he know for sure? I dont wanna be depressed, Ive never been depressed before. I get sad sometimes but im happy most of the time. If i do get depressed i dont think Id leave my kids like mom did. Matt says he hates mom, but matt seems like he hates everyone sometimes. It sucks, but sometimes i think i hate mom too.

Postpartum depression is what your talking about. Many women go through this after child birth and is something their doctors watch out for. Postpartum depression is caused by the hormonal changes a woman's body goes through after child birth and usually corrects itself as the body readjusts. If not there are medications the doctors can offer to help.

There are usually more to these stories of moms' leaving their children, then the children or even the father really knows. Without talking to your mom and finding out directly from her one can only guess at her reason for leaving. Postpartum depression is a good suspect to place blame on though it may not and is probably not the full reason mom left.

I could probably guess at a few reasons why your mom left but I'm not going to as it doesn't really matter. What matters is that what your mom did does not mean you will do it too. As I said your mom most likely had other reason to leave you than even your father is aware of. Your father loves you and your sister and brother which is all that really matters.

It is okay to be sad sometimes, everyone is sad sometimes. It does not mean you are depressed or that you will become depressed. The fact that Matt hates his mom is to be expected. The fact that he hates everyone sometimes is typical of a boy his age.

My advise: Stop worrying about what your mom did and if it is something that you will do. Remember that you are also half your dad and he has been here for you all your life and will be here for you as long as you need him to be. He is the parent that truly loves and cares for you. He is the parent you are most likely to be like.

i'm not together with with the father of my children and i don't let him near them. he is a very bad person; he dose drugs all the time, gets drunk, gets in fights, hurts his family, smokes, and doesn't have a job or an education. he loves me and our kids but he is easily made angry and he used to take his anger out on us; yell at me a lot, has hurt a few times, cussed and said very inappropriate things in front of our kids. so i don't want him putting the kids though that anymore. dose keeping my kids away from there father make me a bad parent?

Short answer to your question: No, you have a absolute right to protect your children.

A more in depth answer involves your husbands rights. As their father he does have certain rights to see his children. If you are separated or divorced the legal paperwork for either should spell out both parents custody arrangements. If you are not legally separated then you need to file for a legal separation with custody arrangements legally expressed in the document. You will need a lawyer to draw these documents up for you. If you need there is legal assistance available threw such places as the House of Ruth.

As to the custody arrangements: This is something that will be a negotiated settlement. I would suggest, based on what you have written, that you try for supervised visits for your husband and the children. In this manner your children and your husband get to see each other with someone there to supervise. If something gets out of control the person supervising can terminate the visitation and remove the children to a safer place.

It is importance to have a legal separation in place while divorce proceedings are pending, if this is your direction. The separation agreement is for the protection of you and your children. The agreement spells out what is expected of both you and your husband as well as custodial custody of the children, visitation rights, health insurance for the children and just about everything else that is important to their well being.

Ok so my name is Melinda Grace but everyone calls me 'Gracie'and Im 13. And lately my dad's been really unfair to me and my twin sis Lissa because he let's our older brother Matt do whatever he wants but he doesn't let us do anything and he grounds us all the time. Like how a couple days ago Matt heard me tell Lissa about this boy that I really like. He gave me his phone number and I think he wants me to be his girlfriend. But when matt heard me tell that to lissa he told my dad that I had a boyfriend and I was hanging around boys all the time at school. So dad got all mad and took my phone and started to read the text messages that 'my boyfriend' sent. All the messages said was that he thought I was cute and he wanted to kiss me, they weren't even that bad. But dad started yelling at me sayin how I was too young to be flirting and talking to boys and that I shouldn't even be thinkin about boys. Bbut I wasn't even flirting and what's wrong with talking and thinkin about boys?! So dad kept yellin and I started to walk away and he grabed my arm and keeped yellin at me so I screamed at him to let me go and now he took my fone and my laptop so now I hav to sneak and use Lissa's and I'm grounded 'until furter notice'. Its just soo unfair! Matt has a different girlfriend every week and all dad does is laugh and joke with him saying how matt's jus like dad was when he was he's age but if I even think about havin a boyfriend dad goes nuts! That's not fair! Matt's only 3 years older that's not much of an age difference. Is it bcuz I'm a girl? What do I do to make Dad understand? Isn't he being mean and showing favorism just because Matt is a boy?

In a sense I have to agree with hitlerthegoat: There is a double standard between fathers and daughters and fathers and sons. When a boy comes home and tells his dad about his latest conquest dad puffs out his chest and goes "that's my boy".
If he finds out some other boy is trying the same thing with his daughter it's chastity belts and baseball bats.

Your brother can not get pregnant, you can. There is a difference in dealing with a boy who is stupid enough to get a girl pregnant then it is to deal with a girl who gets pregnant. There in lies the problem. You want to see your father go off on your brother; just let your brother get a girl pregnant. Your brother was a Big Man on Camus(BMC) until then, after words he becomes an idiot.

For daughters it is more cut and dry. As long as you keep your daughter chaste, (virgin) there are no problems to deal with. Problem is girls are going to be boy crazy and this drives dads up a wall. Because as boys once themselves they know what boys are going to try.

If we could get away with it fathers would lock their daughters up until they were 40, or at least that is the way we think when they are 13. What you need to do is show your father that you are trust worthy and that while you may be as boy crazy as the next girl, your not stupid.

If you think your father is not aware that you are in someway in some type of contact with this boy, you are kidding yourself. All dad has done and he knows this is made it harder for you. By continuing to contact this boy you are not showing your father you can be trusted.

You need to talk with you father. Explain to him what a teenage social life is for a girl your age is today. You need to tell him you are aware of his concerns and you are not stupid enough to let that happen. As you gain your fathers trust you will gain more freedom. You may never have all the freedom your brother has but you can earn the freedom you wish for, not through rebellion and sneakiness. But through cooperation and trustworthiness.

can a brother make sex with his sister

Not knowing where you live: In most Western Countries and in I believe in all of the U. S. States; a brother and sister having sex together is called incest and is against the law. Meaning Incest is a criminal offence and carries criminal penalties.

Parents and children having sex together is called incest also. As far as I know there is no age limitation on incest.

Short answer to your question: NO!!!!!!

I'm the girl that cuts and thinks about suicide too often. I know there has to be something wrong with me mentally and that I need help. But I have no friends that I can trust, no one that even likes me. The teachers all look away whenever I come by. My parents are the type that are obsessed with image. If I tell them anything that could damage their image, they ignore it and pretend like it's not even there. So what do I do? I don't want to do it, but some days are harder to ignore than others. Who do I turn to?

As someone who suffers from depression I have learned on thing about depression and those that suffer with depression. We tend to perceive thing differently than what the really are.

You could be very right about what you have written or you could be very wrong as you are perceiving things through the haze of your depression. Yes, I believe you are suffering some form of depression, which is the reason for your cutting yourself and your suicidal thoughts.

Asking for help is the first step in recovery. The second step is getting help. If you are feeling suicidal or feeling as if you need to cut yourself at this time; you need to call 911 now. This is the purpose of 911 to help people who are sick, in danger or in crisis. If you feel like hurting yourself you are both in danger and in crisis so call 911 for help. It does not matter how old you are, they will send people to help you and take you to the hospital where a doctor will care for you.

If you are not in danger or in crisis you should make an appointment to see you family doctor. Should you be correct about your parents, I don't think you are, your doctor after completing an examination and making a determination can if you approve inform you parents of anything about your medical condition. If you are found to be suffering from depression your parents will be told and they will be informed of what is needed to be done as far as further treatment.

I wouldn't be surprised,, if after speaking with your doctor, that the parents you see as image obsessed don't turn into very caring and loving parents. Remember what I said about perception and depression. The fact that you perceive it makes it real, it does not make it right.

Now either call 911 if you need too or call your doctor first thing Monday Morning and ask for an urgent appointment and tell them why. You have taken the hardest step, the rest are easy.

How can I turn on this guy and make him want to have sex but just tease him because I dont want to go all the way yet?

I am one of the older advisers on this site.

I don't recommend teasing your boyfriend in this manner. You don't say how old you are or how old he is. You also don't say how far you willing to go with your teasing. If you go to far you could end up being raped.

The biggest problem with teasing is that it usually ends up going further than you plan; for one of two reasons. The first is simply you get caught up in the moment. The second is not as nice. Your boy friend,getting mixed signals follows his instincts and just simply over powers you and takes what he wants. Then he says it is your fault for leading him on. He's wrong for stop means STOP; he has just not learned that yet.

Your desire to tease him as in the second scenario leads to two ruined lives, possibly three if he impregnates you as well. He has a record as a sex offender, you are traumatized by the rape and could be an unwed mother. Is it really worth it?

Would it not be better to tell your boyfriend what your limits are and then hold to them?

Im a boy, 18 years old, about to graduate high school.
for some reason, lately, everything just seems dark to me. Like i feel uninterested in everything and apathetic. I dont repond to my friends much, and dont hangout much anymore, and i always just feel like being alone and i dont wanna do anything.
Thing is, im currently trying to heal from a heartbreak, and now im missing out on prom, and HS is ending and its kinda sad and everything seems so dark around me. Do i have a problem?
And its not just high school, its everything. Im worried about EVERYTHING. My parents, my college, my money, job, etc. ANd i just feel like going to sleep forever and just lazy around.
I feel like there is nothing to look forward to anymore. What s my deal? Help?

Delilah5 could be right or it could be the cumulative effects of everything piling up at one time.

Your about to go from the very protected world of High school to the semi-protected world of college and adult hood. Suddenly in one fell swoop everything you have depended on your entire life is being amended or removed. This can be very traumatizing for someone your age.

While I don't see anything in what you have written to say you are suffering from bipolar disorder; you could be suffering from a mild form of depression. This, in my view, would be normal given what you have written. A visit to your family doctor to be screened for depression, which would rule in or out bipolar disorder, would be a good idea as there are medications that will help you during this time.

Did you know that 1 in 3 people suffer from some form of depression. Less than that actually are treated for their depression. I read somewhere that the statistic is like 1 in 5 or something like that. Most depression is a simple chemical imbalance where the body is not making enough of 1 or 2 hormones. A simple pill a day to replace the missing hormone(s) is all that is required. Yes they are called anti-depressants, in reality though they are simply hormone replacement therapy.

My advise: Talk to your parents, tell them how you feel. Then go see your doctor. Tell the doctor what is bothering you. Ask to be screened for depression and bipolar disorder if necessary and then follow the doctors advice.

Ok, so this is hard to explain, and im not good at explaining it. but im a guy in highschool, and if you think im some fat nerdy guy who has no life and is a pervert and follows people around, im not. Im thin, tall, and a clean looking guy. But ive always had this problem where i drive around and if i see people from my school (who i dont know) i park and watch them. Not like stalking, like i literally dont follow them. i just have an unusual interest in watching people from my school and people in the same age with girls and stuff, like i just get jealous, angered, but at the same time relaxed. I havent hung around my friends that much anymore, and on weekend nights, i just drive around to the movies and to public areas and just watch people. And then when i go home i go on Facebook and go on girls' pages and flip through everythign and watch what they post and who they comment to and i just, i dont know.... like i feel jealous that everyone has such a great social life and i dont and i always feel the need to check up on their lives like Facebook and who they talk to and who they flirt with. For example, my ex, i always go on her page like literally every hour to see if her profile pic changes, who she comments to, what guys she talks to. And if i see a guy post on her wall, i click the guy's page and look at him and the process keeps going.
Its reallt annoying and i want to stop worrying about others and it gets to the point where ive stopped seeing my friends and to the point where i feel like people WHO i dont even KNOW affct me in some way. It mainly jealousy, but is this normal? i want to stop....

I'm one of the older advisers on this site and hopefully I can be of some help.

I have heard of people, generally people like me, who are retired and like to go to a park and watch the younger people enjoy themselves. I have not heard of someone like yourself who likes to watch or follow people you know from school or other places. This is fairly close to the definition of a stalker.

I would say this is not a normal behavior for anyone, especially someone of your young age. You should be out enjoying yourself, having your own fun and not being jealous of what others may be doing.

I would suggest you talk to your parents about what you are doing and ask them for help. I think the best help would come from a therapist who deals in behavioral matters.

There is something bothering you; you need to find out what that is. When you do you will be able to get past this behavior you have developed. A therapist trained in this area can be a big help in helping you find out what that problem is and getting past it.

Okay I'm pregnant with my current boyfriends baby and I have three choices. My first choice is to move in with my sister while he gets a job and we both move in together. My second choice is move in with him and his family. My last choice which is giving me the biggest problems is staying with my mom and my other sister. The problem with that is that me and that sister don't get along and both her and my mom don't want me to be with my boyfriend until he gets a job. I love my boyfriend so much and I don't want to live with my mom and she is trying to force me into staying with her but I don't want to because I wont be able to see him. My question is out of the three which one would sound like the best choice for me right now? (btw I'm 19)

Your not going to like my answer; of the three choices the most stable of the three is staying with your mom.

You have not supplied enough information on moving in with your sister. Information to consider this choice that would be needed is; Has she offered to take you in? Is she married? Does she have her own children? does she have room for you? The biggest of these questions is has she offered to take you in.

Some same questions about moving in with his family. Have they offered to take you in? Is he actively looking for work? Will moving in with his family enable him in any way with looking for work or anything else?

I have learned over time answering question such as yours that there are two-sides to every story. Your mom, for whatever her reasons, may have legitimate concerns, concerning your boyfriend. Starting with the fact that he got you pregnant. Contraception is a two-way street. He is just as responsible as you are in this area.

Her reasons aside for the moment, your home sounds to be the more stable environment for you and for the baby when it arrives. I could change my opinion with more information, for now this is what I feel is the best solution for you.

My friend hit me on the nose reall hard with a basketball yesterday (she has a strong pass(. it didn't bleed but i can't touch it because it hurts too much. i also have a very sensitive bump on the right side of my nose near the arch. Is my nose broken or fractured??

As a member of a fire department rescue squad I seen numerous sporting accidents. Even being there to see them one cannot always tell if something is actually fractured. To tell for sure takes an x ray and the skilled hands of a doctor.

We are not doctors and we certainly cannot see or feel the bones over a website. You need to go to the doctors office or a hospital emergency room to your nose looked at.

If your nose is broken it needs to be properly set so as to avoid any future problems. Proper setting of your nose now will also avoid any cosmetic problems which will be painful to correct.

what will happen we daily doing handjob??

Not a thing. Masturbation is a normal part of life which according to a survey I read is done by 90% of us. As long as it does not become an all encompassing part of your life, to the exclusion of everything else, it is normal.

Hi,

I am a man. I am in my middle 20's and I have been in a relationship with the love of my life for almost three years now.

When I was 15 I lost my virginity to my father's girlfriend (she was 40 something at the time). I recall wanting to do it but now I feel like it was statutory rape. I look back on it as a shameful event and I never want to talk about it. This is actually the first time I've written it and told anyone.

My girlfriend/ soon to be fiance and I have never talked about me loosing my virginity. I feel like it will never come up but if it does I won't lie about it.
I just want to know if I was raped. Should I feel ashamed of what happened? Should I tell my girlfriend even though it is not a topic of conversation?

Thanks so much,

Advice

There is a difference between Rape and Statutory Rape. Rape is sex against a persons will. Statutory Rape is when sex, even when consensual occurs between a minor, such as yourself, and an adult, such as your dad's girlfriend. Included in this event are charges such as child molestation and several other crimes of a sexual nature. Depending on where you live these crimes may not have a statue of limitation should you be thinking of bring charges. You would need to talk with local prosecutor.

Where you raped? In the statutory sense of the word the answer is yes. If she talked you into having sex with her or in any way forced you to have sex with her; then you were raped in both meanings.

What you do need to do in my view is bring some closure to this event for yourself. To do so I suggest that you talk with a therapist. I would suggest you call an organization called RAINN. This stands for Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network, they operate a 24/7 hotline with volunteers who can help you contact a counselor in your area who will work with you to bring closure to this event. The counselor will also help you explain what has happened to your fiance should you wish too.

The phone number for RAINN is 1-800-656-HOPE (4673). Give them a call and find someone who can help you put this event in its proper perspective and bring a proper closure to it. In this way you will be able to get on with your life without having it hanging over you.

In closing let me just say that the sex you had with this women was in no way your doing and nothing you should feel ashamed about. This women took advantage of you and the teenage hormones all teenage males have. If you were my son, and I'm 64 years of age, I would be giving you the advice I have given you as well as to suggest you talk to the police about criminal charges.

If this women took advantage of you, who else has she taken advantage of and who will she take advantage of in the future. You have the opportunity to save other young boys from suffering as you have.

types of std symptoms and cure in homeopathy

I have never seen Homeopathy described the way Rashie has done in her answer; though I agree with what she has said. Many times homeopathy medicine is the natural form; roots, herbs, tree bark and other things brewed into a tea, of the medicine western doctors prescribe and are mass produced in chemical form. Homeopathy does not always work if it works at all.

When dealing with something like an STD I would suggest seeing a regular doctor for diagnoses and treatment. Many STDs can be treated or controlled with today's treatments and medications. Without proper treatment STDs can do long term harm and even be life threatening.

i get scared at night and im 13 and i wanted to cut my jeans into a skirt but my mom said no i kept saying please and she screamed at me and said NO!!! so i said when will i b ble to do things on my own and she said when you sleep in your own room and not act like a 3 year old nd i cried and ran in my room what should i do/say!!!!

Hi, I'm one of the older advisers on this site and maybe I can help.

Teenage girls and there moms have been having this type of disagreements for centuries; it is like a right of passage. It is also linked to hormonal changes you are going through with puberty. To some degree small things like not being able to cut a pair of jeans into a dress seem like the end of the world.

Not being able to cut a pair of jeans into a dress is not the biggest crisis you will ever face. There are and will be bigger problems down the road of life that you will need to figure out. You will need to learn which problems are worth fighting over, which battles you can win and which battles you should walk away from.

Moms point of view: If you cut these jeans into a dress than you wont have them to wear as a pair of jeans when you need them. This means if she lets you do this she will have to buy you a new pair of jeans at some point. Does she have the money to spend right now. If not what will she have to do without or what will she have to deprive the rest of the family of so that you can have your way?

As parents we don't always tell our children the real reason we say no. Why do we do this? A generic answer is; that most parents feel, especially with money issues, it is better that the children don't know so we make up an answer.

Your moms answer to your question of; when will you be able to do things on your own, was kind of a knee jerk answer driven by her being upset at the time. At 13 years of age you are at an age I call the betweener age. Your not a child and your not anywhere close to being an adult. There is a lot you need to learn; not just in school but about life itself. My answer to your question would be, as you get older and show me more maturity I will give you more freedom to do things on your own.

Remember until your 18 your parents are legally responsible for your actions. Whatever you do they can be held financially responsible for as well as legally responsible for. They also have the responsibility as parents to see to your health and welfare.

Would you like to show mom you are maturing? If so then you need to apologize for your outburst over the jean thing. You might calmly want to try to explain to her why this was so important to you.

For future events, needs and desires try and remember you get better results by staying calm and presenting things calmly to your parents. While they may say no, you need to stay calm even if you feel the no is going to end your world as you know it. You need to walk away and think about why they may have said no. Is something you really need or want to do and if this is a battle you can win should you be able to present a plan your parents will agree to.

You will be surprised how staying calm and presenting your side in a calm manner can get you a win more often than not. Hollering and screaming is a no win situation. All that is going to happen is mom or dad will pull rank and say something like "go to your room and cool off". For no one wants to deal with anyone, adult or child who is out of control.

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