Why do moms get depressed after they have babies? Does it go away? Can dads
Question Posted Saturday May 14 2011, 5:12 pm
Hi,Im Gracie and I have a twin sister (idenical) named Melissa or Lissa for short and I have an older brother name Matt, he's 16 and he's a jerk. Me and Lissa are 13. My mom left us a few months after we were born and Matt was 3 I think. My dad says that mom was real depressed, he said that lots of moms get depressed when they have babies especially if there're young. Mom was 22 when she had me and Lissa and he was 25. So that means Mom was 19 when she had my older brother Matt and dad was 22. I try to ask him more about her but he gets upset so I stopped. Me and Lissa were born 8 weeks early so we had to stay at the hospital longer than most babies, Mom left a couple of months after we got out. Does being depressed make moms leave? What makes moms depressed? Do they stay depressed for a long time? Can they get better? I think dads mad with mom for leaving,he doesnt really talk about her. All I kno is that her name was Amanda or Mandy, and she had brown hair and big dark blue eyes like me and Lissa. Matt has eyes like us but blond hair like daddy. Do you think that me and lissa are gonna be depressed when we have kids too? Dad says we wont but hes never been pregnant so how can he know for sure? I dont wanna be depressed, Ive never been depressed before. I get sad sometimes but im happy most of the time. If i do get depressed i dont think Id leave my kids like mom did. Matt says he hates mom, but matt seems like he hates everyone sometimes. It sucks, but sometimes i think i hate mom too.
There are usually more to these stories of moms' leaving their children, then the children or even the father really knows. Without talking to your mom and finding out directly from her one can only guess at her reason for leaving. Postpartum depression is a good suspect to place blame on though it may not and is probably not the full reason mom left.
I could probably guess at a few reasons why your mom left but I'm not going to as it doesn't really matter. What matters is that what your mom did does not mean you will do it too. As I said your mom most likely had other reason to leave you than even your father is aware of. Your father loves you and your sister and brother which is all that really matters.
It is okay to be sad sometimes, everyone is sad sometimes. It does not mean you are depressed or that you will become depressed. The fact that Matt hates his mom is to be expected. The fact that he hates everyone sometimes is typical of a boy his age.
My advise: Stop worrying about what your mom did and if it is something that you will do. Remember that you are also half your dad and he has been here for you all your life and will be here for you as long as you need him to be. He is the parent that truly loves and cares for you. He is the parent you are most likely to be like. [ adviceman49's advice column | Ask adviceman49 A Question ]
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