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My ex wants to take our son for a week... BUT...
i'm a teen girl and my ex boyfriend wants to take our son for a week. he barley ever sees our son the last time was a few months ago. he is very unpredictable and when we were together he would get high around our son. i don't want that happening anymore so i said no. he is very pissed off at me and said i was being completely unfair. i don't want him to be sad and i want my son to know him but i don't trust him. what should i do?
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Short of violating a custody agreement determined by a court of law, you can tell him to take a long walk off a short pier. Getting high in front of a child is grounds not only for imprisonment, but for having the child being made a ward of the state.
Your relationship with the BF is over. Period. Some guys are meant to be dads and some aren't. This one isn't. So stop worrying about him and focus instead on the welfare of your son. Don't sabotage your life or your son's by keeping the loser around.
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A week is too long after he hasn't spent that much time with him. Explain to your ex that it makes you happy that he wants to spend time with his son and you know that it is very important, in order for your son to grow up healthy and mature. Tell him you don't feel comfortable being apart for so long right now, but maybe you can work out a schedule. Start with a couple of afternoons a week, then maybe move to an overnight visit, then weekends, and then, if it seems like things are going fine, let him take him longer. A week is a long time to have a child when you are young. He doesn't understand what it takes to watch a kid every day. Even HE might regret taking him for that long at first. So start out slow and build up. Trust must be built, but you are right to be unsure. Take it slow. If he won't agree to that then I question his motives. A real dad would be happy with ANY time with his kids, and work to build more time. Good luck.
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Okay first things first you were right to say no. You have to think about your son when making this decision. So if you don't trust the father don't let him be alone with your son. What I suggest is supervised visits. Let him go and see you son but be there in the room just in cvase. That way he'll get to know his father and his father won't be mad. Hope this helps! Good luck!
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