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i have an addiction to checking up on people
Ok, so this is hard to explain, and im not good at explaining it. but im a guy in highschool, and if you think im some fat nerdy guy who has no life and is a pervert and follows people around, im not. Im thin, tall, and a clean looking guy. But ive always had this problem where i drive around and if i see people from my school (who i dont know) i park and watch them. Not like stalking, like i literally dont follow them. i just have an unusual interest in watching people from my school and people in the same age with girls and stuff, like i just get jealous, angered, but at the same time relaxed. I havent hung around my friends that much anymore, and on weekend nights, i just drive around to the movies and to public areas and just watch people. And then when i go home i go on Facebook and go on girls' pages and flip through everythign and watch what they post and who they comment to and i just, i dont know.... like i feel jealous that everyone has such a great social life and i dont and i always feel the need to check up on their lives like Facebook and who they talk to and who they flirt with. For example, my ex, i always go on her page like literally every hour to see if her profile pic changes, who she comments to, what guys she talks to. And if i see a guy post on her wall, i click the guy's page and look at him and the process keeps going.
Its reallt annoying and i want to stop worrying about others and it gets to the point where ive stopped seeing my friends and to the point where i feel like people WHO i dont even KNOW affct me in some way. It mainly jealousy, but is this normal? i want to stop....
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So what are the anger issues? Do you feel excluded socially on some level?
What I hear reading your post is a lot of insecurity (natural to kids your age) that is not only causing you to perhaps seek out models of behavior by watching people, but also leading you to be afraid to approach people and seek new friendships. Again, not abnormal, but it does require some positive effort to overcome.
However, you definitely need to move on from the ex and stop viewing her Facebook page. That is stalkerish behavior and which is why if I was a parent I would not allow my children to have Facebook or other social network accounts.
The thing that really concerns me is that this issue is becoming so all consuming that it is leading to resentment and interfering with your ability to interact with others. You may need a therapist to work this out. If your family can't afford one, you can talk to your school counselor or school psychologist (if there is one available).
Otherwise, just relax. Love yourself and mind your own business. You're overthinking things and that is what is leading to this behavior. Try to reconnect with your friends and go from there. You are young. You don't need to try to experience everything at once. So don't be jealous of others and pursue your own hobbies and let everything happen in its own time.
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I'm one of the older advisers on this site and hopefully I can be of some help.
I have heard of people, generally people like me, who are retired and like to go to a park and watch the younger people enjoy themselves. I have not heard of someone like yourself who likes to watch or follow people you know from school or other places. This is fairly close to the definition of a stalker.
I would say this is not a normal behavior for anyone, especially someone of your young age. You should be out enjoying yourself, having your own fun and not being jealous of what others may be doing.
I would suggest you talk to your parents about what you are doing and ask them for help. I think the best help would come from a therapist who deals in behavioral matters.
There is something bothering you; you need to find out what that is. When you do you will be able to get past this behavior you have developed. A therapist trained in this area can be a big help in helping you find out what that problem is and getting past it.
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