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Im 13
Hi im 14 and im 30 weeks pregnant , due in about 5 weeks. My boyfriend dumped me when i found out so hes out of the picture. But this guy ive been seeing for 2 months now says he is fully commited to my baby and is willing to be a father. Should i trust him?
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The guy acting as the white knight, and you don't say how old he is, has no idea what he is getting into for a couple of reasons:
1. You are only 14. You are emotionally and intellectually immature and this will lead to a lot of problems in your relationship with him. Moreover, over the next ten years, your sensibilities are going to evolve a lot and it very well could be that you will want to hit the eject button on him as a result.
2. Raising a baby is a tough job and often drives couples apart. Anytime you introduce a new element into a piece of chemistry (like that between a man and a woman) it is bound to alter the nature of the relationship.
Also, one has to wonder if there is a codependent thing going on here as the new guy feels a need to rescue you because otherwise he doesn't feel he would be good enough for any woman. This isn't healthy.
My advice to you is to reject the other guy, who sounds rather hinky to me, and work with your mom the best you can in raising your child. And you need to be very concerned, in the meantime, about finishing your education (and I mean college) so that you don't end up permanently in poverty.
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Dear Child,
When I was an immature 21 year old, many years ago, I got pregnant. Thankfully the young man was able and willing to financially help me and accepted his responsibility. So that was no problem, the problem was me, was I mature enough and able to nurture and care for a child? The answer was "no". I had my little girl adopted, which was sad but necessary. She had a far better life than I could ever had hoped to provide her with. We connected a few years ago. She is well balanced and happily married. She has 5 children, so I have 5 more grandchildren than I had thought I had. We are in touch, but a respect that she has her own parents and I do not interfere in any way. She is MOST grateful for her life. She got pregnant when she was 17, and also chose life for her son. God bless you!
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You're 14 and 5 weeks away from bringing a child into this world.
If you were that immature to have sex and not take the proper precautions to prevent a pregnancy; how do you expect anyone to believe you have the maturity to raise a child. The question you should be asking is not whether this boy should be a father to your child; you should be asking what are the best options you have for the best interest of the child.
Included in the information with this question is what your parents are saying? What the biological fathers parents are saying? What you have done to make sure the biological father lives up to his responsibilities should you have your parents support for keeping this baby?
I see none of this, only should a guy, age unknown be allowed to be the father. What you should be doing is seeing a lawyer to either arrange for adoption, which would involve the cooperation of the biological father I believe, since he is known to you, or having the legal paper work done to insure that the biological father is legally bound to his responsibilities as the father.
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You seemed to age a year from when you wrote the subject to when you started the subject, but that doesn't matter. No, you shouldn't really be trusting 14 year old boys to be fathers. I'm not saying he couldn't be, but why would you drag in a teenage boy to do something like that, to ruin his youth over a kid that isn't his at all? I'd say just suck it up, take some support from him if he's willing, but don't have him be a father, that's asking too much.
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What you should do is trying to figure out how the hell you are going to take care of the baby... You are 14 damn years old. Forget about the baby having a father, thats not important. Whats important is finding the baby PARENTS. And kid, as much as you wanna believe that you are mature enough to care for the baby, you are not. I dont wanna suggest anything too intense, but adoption would be good because you're placing an innocent child in the hands of caring people who are older and more intelligent. The baby will not live a normal life having a mother who has the same mindset as them.
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